I Don't Want My Cellphone To Have AI I Want It To Have 3 Days Of Battery Time. I Don't Want My Computer

It’s been a journey

Smaug and Bilbo girltalk be like:

“And I once caught them trying to make off with my silver spoons!”

“MAKING OFF WITH YOUR TREASURE?!

H A N G. T H E M.”

“Well that would be just awful, wouldn’t it?”

“SO TOO IS GOING WITHOUT YOUR SILVER SPOONS.”

I need to rewatch lotr and hobbit, and also read everything bc i got obsessed with it, but last time i watched it i was 12 or 13, and i read only like half of hobbit or little more, so i remember way less than i want

Being best friends with Legolas

Headcanons below the cut!

Legolas and you are probably inseparable.

I mean let's be real here, when it comes to friendship, Legolas values it so much.

You're practically family to him.

And you think the world of him.

90% sure as young elves, you two would spend all day in the woods and play tag, practice archery or just run around and laugh about something.

hang out in the trees, swing from tree to tree.

usually you'd instigate the tomfoolery (as Thranduil would point out) and Legolas would just follow you with a soft smile because though he's not very expressive, it's super clear that he loves to just hang out with you.

Yeah, Thranduil ain't too happy about that, though. But then again, when has he EVER been happy after his wife passed away?

It's obviously no surprise that when everyone's gathered in Rivendell at the secret council with Elrond that you volunteered to go with Legolas.

Wasn't really a favored choice, though, considering that Elrond gave you the side-eye and Gimli almost lost his mind at the thought of having to deal with not just one, but TWO elves.

Poor dwarf's wringing his hands in the air, and swinging his axe around.

Doesn't sway Legolas's opinion, he's ecstatic about the fact that not only were you joining The Fellowship to get rid of the One Ring (an important task) but you were going to be able to hang out with him even more?

The past few years the two of you hadn't seen each other since he had been with Aragorn, but this was a prime opportunity!

You'd probably eat Lembas bread with him and chat about how your life has been since you've grown up

Not much time for your usual shenanigans and the dynamic has quite shifted since you were young

Rather than trying to do something for the sake of adventure, you were going on an adventure for the sake of saving Middle Earth.

Yeah, BIG change.

And Legolas, being the best friend you could ask for, would certainly help you along the way, guide you through the quest and still be that kind soul you knew when you were young.

You could tell him anything, and he'd listen intently

your own personal little therapist and he'd listen to you rant about something

and he's ALWAYS interest to hear what you have to say, even if it's in the middle of fighting a bunch of orcs or Nazguls.

Y'all got each other's backs ALL the time.

I mean ALL the time.

When Legolas and Gimli are having a face-off at Helm's deep, best believe you're killing these orcs alongside him

"That's not fair! You can't just add your kills together!" Gimli would cry out

"Ah, but you forget, we're practically the same... one in soul," you'd reply with a cheeky grin.

Legolas would totally grin back as Gimli's losing his mind.

The banter?

Insane.

You're more forward than Legolas, so you're quick to tease Gimli whenever an opportunity comes up. Legolas is more subtle, finding only a few moments to tease the dwarf

but when he does? yeah roasted

Both of you teaming up against Gimli for fun sometimes, hunting together, making plans

Safe to say that when Legolas leaves for the Undying Lands with Gimli, he brings you as well.

Just the three of you guys, on a boat, talking about life and making tons of jokes

Best friends, side by side, with no worries at all.

BIRTHDAY BOYS

Don’t mind me. Just cleaning your dash

Imagine the fellowship showing each other pictures and paintings of themselves as children

Everyone cooes over Gimli with the tiniest little beard and mini axe, the Hobbits all sleeping in a little pile of curls and tails, Aragorn in formal elven clothing but his hair is still as messy cause they couldn’t style it even if they tried, Boromir holding a baby Faramir cause he refused to part with him after he was born

And then Legolas shows the ugliest fucking thing any of them had ever seen, looking like a fleshy newborn bird with enormous eyes and ears, and he’s proudly boasting over how he’s seen as one of them most beautiful elven infants in millennium, and the rest of them are afraid to say anything because What The Fuck

I'm out of my last hyperfix, it's horrible

when there’s a sibling dynamic AND old man + his kids dynamic AND west coast vibe AND a silly evil entity

techno & swinub for good ol times sake