Nerds

 "Knowing how genuine was her regard for him, I listened earnestly to her story when she came to my rooms in the second year of my married life and told me of the sad condition to which my poor friend was reduced."

THE DYING DETECTIVE part one - the best way of successfully acting a part is to be it.

If you're not familiar with this particular story I REALLY REALLY encourage you to read it (it's short!) because 1. it's really good and BONKERS and 2. this version is very close to the original but deviates in certain and important ways.

(this is in the Watson's Sketchbook series)

A family of cheetahs sleep with the forest guard every night. When the Forest Dept. heard about it, they decided to check the veracity of the claim by installing a CCTV camera. This is what the camera recorded! Just amazing.

Kitties will be kitties 🐈‍⬛

credit for the house vicodin prescription goes to u/marcusbechtel on the HouseMD subreddit, the wilson image came from the House wiki, and of course the whole thing is inspired by the classic video "Every episode of House ever". The rest was all me.

Affection

🔎🐝 This is a master post of my Sherlock Holmes fanfiction which you can also find on Ao3! 🐝🔎

For details and warnings, follow the links to AO3, it's included in tags there.

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The Absolute Truth of the Matter

On the way to Rosenlaui, Holmes falls behind to face Moriarty alone. When it is instead Watson who encounters the Professor at the Reichenbach Falls, events take an unexpected turn.

Or: Watson does a few ridiculously courageous things and there is a crack in Holmes's lens.

The Case of the Lost Cat

Annie hesitated, nervously turning the apple in her hands, lowering her gaze. “I must tell you first,” she mumbled, “that I can’t pay your fee, Mr Holmes, b-but I can help in the garden, or –“ „Oh, but lost animal cases are always free of charge,” Holmes said casually, folding the newspaper and throwing it onto the floor next to his armchair. He is, as I have often stated, really a rather brilliant man.

After the Great War, Holmes and Watson are living a quiet life somewhere in Sussex. The days of great detective work lie in the past, but when a distressed young client asks them for help with finding her lost cat, Holmes and Watson have to solve a case that might turn out to be just beyond their limits.

Flowery Prose

Holmes rarely read to me, and never like this.

The Return of Dr Watson

I think of myself as a practical woman. I am proud to say that I have always been able to manage my household in the most efficient manner, purchasing only what is of good quality without requiring any unnecessary expenses. I have one possession, however, that is an exception to that rule. This is the story of how not only one but two of my tenants returned to Baker Street, and how I came to own one of London’s finest tea services as a result.

Mr Holmes returns. Dr Watson leaves. Mrs Hudson realises that London’s greatest detective might require a little assistance with winning the good doctor back.

The Adventures of the Amorous Amateur

Five times Sherlock Holmes is bad in bed and one time Watson is too.

The Heart's Desire

In which Watson learns how to make love to Sherlock Holmes.

The Adventure of the Lost Footing

“You have been in this particular mood for months,” Holmes stated. “You are in pain, but worse than that, you feel useless. You would clearly be more comfortable – and productive – away from London. Therefore, it seems a permanent relocation is in order.”

When Watson is no longer able to keep step with Sherlock Holmes, he expects to be left behind. As it turns out, Holmes has already devised a plan.

Of Seeing London Again

I had dreamed of London day and night, and now I had returned, but I was not home yet. It would not be until Moran was caught and I could finally reveal myself to my old friend Watson that I would be able to find a modicum of peace.

A Kinder Heart

“Holmes?” The pipe clattered to the floor and there was tobacco scattered all around it, but it passed like a flash before my eyes because I had spun around to face whoever had entered the room. It was Watson, of course.

i feel like tumblr doesnt know about the pain and suffering that is english tap water,,,, girl there are stalagmites inside me

eating pastries is so humiliating cause you'll be having the time of your life having it and then when you're finished you look down and you're covered in flakes and sugardust like fuuuck now everyone is going to know i'm a messy pastry whore

Faces carved into the walls of the Paris Catacombs

I'm reading a bunch of self-reported case studies of queer people in the 19th century (Psychopathia Sexualis by Krafft-Ebing, for those who are curious) and I REALLY love that the impulse to immediately share life stories when you meet another gay person is timeless and universal

you're just lonely