I Want To Snap Their Necks

Its Buff French Sherlock Hound™ for your viewing pleasure

i had a dream that time travel was invented and too many people choose to travel back in time to save the titanic from sinking (the question of whether unsinking of the titanic deserved so much attention in the face of human history was the subject of both heavy academic and online discourse), which caused a rift in the space-time-continuum that led to the titanic showing up indiscriminately all over the world’s oceans and sea in various states of sinking.

this caused a lot of issues both in terms of fixing said space-time-continuum and in terms of nautical navigation, and after a long and heavy battle in the international maritime organization it was decided that the bureaucratic burden of dealing with this was to be upon Ireland, much to their dismay. the Irish Government then released an app for all sailors and seafarers so they could report titanic sightings during their journeys, even though they heavily dissuaded you from reporting them given the paperwork it caused.

anyway i woke up with a clear image of the app in my head and needed to recreate it for all of you:

THE FINAL PROBLEM - part 1 of ??many. If the context is confusing, please check the date and remember that we last saw Holmes in early 1891 - or better yet, read the original story!

This is in the Watson's Sketchbook series!

cursive text (which is all canon, btw) under the cut for those who need it:

4 May, 1893

It is with a heavy heart that I take up my pen to write these, the last words in which I shall ever record the singular gifts by which my friend Mr. Sherlock Holmes was distinguished. In an incoherent and, as I deeply feel, an entirely inadequate fashion, I have endeavored to give some account of my strange experiences in his company. It was my intention to have said nothing of that event which has created a void in my life which the lapse of two years has done little to fill. My hand has been forced, however.

It lies with me to tell for the first time what really took place between Professor Moriarty and Mr. Sherlock Holmes...

ONE MORE DAY

You can only reblog this on 14th march

kay and edgeworth self defense class

There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...

The head archivist's to do list

or arts and crafts with Gertrude Robinson

are we not feeling very pious today, brother lionel

the Empty House - part 6

-Part One

-Part Two

-Part Three

-Part Four

-Part Five

shoutout to my exvangelical spouse for giving me some pointers about the gay parts of the Bible...I have a lot of thoughts around resurrection myths in Christian societies and how the Holmes canon plays with but also subverts that archetype, which I will hopefully be able to explore in a semi coherent fashion in coming stories!

the next story is A CASE OF IDENTITY!

This is in the Watson's Sketchbook series!