Mrsclownisajoke - Joke

This is me fr

Me whilst writing: This is a masterpiece…I am a literary genius

Me whilst editing my writing: I am an abomination to the writing community

One Piece! Various! x Female! Reader!

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The straw hats have spotted an island! And to no one's surprise, they weren't welcomed. And now they somehow got themselves in a situation of welcoming another crew. What a day.

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"Pirates? Again?" One old lady wearily sighed, "do they never learn?" another guy whispered as they watched a boat with some kind of sheep dock at the island. They shook their heads and hurriedly went back to their village to share the news.

Meanwhile, at the straw hat's ship. Usopp had just announced that he had spotted an island and realized just then that, that was a bad idea. "Oi luffy...!" The rest of the crew momentarily stopped and turned to see the stretched arms of their captain holding on one of the trees on the island, before they could protest, luffy had already blasted himself off with a shout of "MEAT!!".

"that idiot...!" Sanji groaned as the crew sweat dropped at the sight of Nami's deadly aura from behind.

"MEAT!!" Luffy ran aimlessly as he drools, already thinking of devouring the whole village supplies as he eats till his hunger fades – which would be close to impossible. He ran and ran until he stopped when he smelled...something delicious....something like...his eyes turned to meat and he immediately dashed towards the direction where the smell was coming from.

"MEAT!!!"

At the same time, his crew was already docking the going merry by a high cliff, hiding it from plain sight.

"I swear, if luffy causes us trouble I'm gonna double–no! Triple his debt!" Nami stated firmly with an angry smile, usopp sweat dropped as he muttered, "when has he not?" chopper clung to him as quickly as he hurried left to whatever when he saw Nami's smile directed to him.

"well, we gotta buy supplies then find the captain later. At this rate, we're gonna die before we even get to another island." Sanji blew from his cigarette as he went down the going merry, "DON'T WORRY NAMI-SWAN! I'LL KICK THE CAPTAIN IF HE EVER CAUSES TROUBLE~!"

"stupid cook." Zoro muttered not-so-loudy and Sanji immediately fumed as he heard, "WHAT DID YOU SAY YOU STUPID MARIMO?!" Their forehead butted each other in dominance as the others sweat dropped.

Eventually, the crew arrived at the village. However, they were stopped by some civilians who looked at them with disgust.

"Say your business! Do you wanna meet the witch or to raid us?! Answer!" Before anyone could react, ussop already began to shake to his knees as he shouted "WITCH?!"

"W-WITCH...WITCHES ARE TRUE?!" Chopper trembled beside him, "of course not." Zoro answered smoothly as he walked forward. "If you guys wanna fight, just say–"

"SHUT UP!" Nami's bawled fist connected to his head, "IS ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT, FIGHTING?!"

She turned towards the villagers with a sweet smile, "sorry about that. And no, we're just here to restock our supplies don't worry."

"As if! You're pirates!" A young man shouts, his anger was short-lived and was replaced by fears as he didn't dare to look at the side. "That's no way to talk to a lady, haven't your parents taught you that?" Sanji's feet were only an inch away from the young man's face. The others were startled and started to back away, and the young man lost his footing and fell on his back.

"hey guys...why don't we find luffy and leave immediately? Didn't you hear? A witch..." Ussop was cut off by sanji's scream of "MELLORINE~!". He was probably thinking of a woman with huge boobs...and...ussop blushed at the thought and immediately shook his head. Focus ussop! Witches are known to turn people to frogs!

Nami sighed as she watched the villagers run away as the ussop was narrating. "We're already in trouble...ugh, what's wrong with this crew..."

"I could have cut their legs so they wouldn't run at least–" Zoro only recieved another bump on the head as Nami comically cried.

"AGAIN, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

The young man from before slowly crawled away when he froze as a chill ran down his spine. "Where are you going?"

Nami stepped forward, "you're going to help us, won't you?" With Nami's smile and sanji's glare at the back, the young man peed his pants.

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This is part 1 y'all I would have made part two but the things I wrote deleted itself after I saved it so I lost motivation. Part two will probably be posted after a year or two. Lol, joke.

I wanted to stop myself but fuck that, LET ME BARK AT BUGGY ARF ARF ARF WOOF BARK WOOF WOOF-

Happy birthday diluc!! 😭🎉🎁

So like, I drew this when I had a phase of liking female luffy lol I didn't get to finish tho

ONE PIECE LIVE ACTION, HELLO?? OMG I LOVE IT. GREAT JOB EVERYONE WHO PARTICIPATED IN IT IM SO PROUD OF Y'ALL <3333333

Woof woof 🗣️🗣️

Tasting the Sunrise

Suggestive | OPLA Sanji x female reader

contains: flirting, kissing, teasing, yeah I just keep it not more than suggestive.

word count: 1,5k | Read on AO3 | Read on Wattpad

Notes: I'm picturing the OPLA Sanji (for appearance and personality) when writing this, but it's up to you which Sanji you want to imagine. (I might get their personalities mixed up in some parts.)

Your bare feet languidly step onto the wooden planks, far from alarming anyone's ear compared to the murmuring waves crashing against the Going Merry. Still recollecting yourself from the interrupted slumber, you just know where to go even when the sky won't change its gloomy shades soon.

The sharp steel against the metal cutting board, the wooden spatula stirring the boiling soup in the pan, the tempting aroma from the sizzling chicken pot, your ears and nose draw to those stimulations once you're getting closer. Everyone is still drowning in their dreams, yet you choose to be here to witness how your breakfast is prepared.

"Hey."

"Hey, good morning, madam. Did I wake you up?"

The cook of the ship greets you with his distinctive accent, slightly surprised by your sudden appearance. The sun is still shy to break the moon's shift, but Sanji is already busy with his thing in the kitchen.

Calling it a routine is an understatement. Making delicious food with love for the people he cares about is the role he chooses, and seeing him already dressing up with a rolled-up sleeve shirt and long pants this early, you will never question his dedication.

"Hmm. Smells so good, I can't stay asleep." With arms folded in front of your chest, you effortlessly cause the pink tint across his face with your raspy voice, and soon welcomed by his cheeky grin that feels warmer than the morning sun.

Those blue eyes dart at you under his blonde locks, then drop the glance quickly at the navy satin nightgown you're wearing. You're not less beautiful for him even when you just woke up, showing your shoulders and collarbone uncovered by another layer of fabric or your hair like that. He can't remember what kind of dream he had last night to have you as his special guest in his domain.

Trust him, he wants to hold his gaze, eyes not going anywhere but locking on yours. He loses seeing you like this, can't help but admire your beauty even just for a split second, abruptly blinking his eyes after he notices he's been staring for too long.

"Y-yeah? Well, it's almost ready. I've prepared honey and lemon tea just for you. You may sit while I finish these."

Sure, it's not a dream as he can listen to his own voice. He's about to reach the transparent teapot with bronze-colored water in there just before you step closer and stop him.

"It's okay. I just wanna watch you cook. Is it alright?" You take the pot and pour yourself tea to drink.

The temperature is perfect as your first drink of the day, not burning your tongue but making your body feel warm from the inside. The sweetness hits your tastebuds right, just the way you like it since Sanji remembers how many spoons of honey to meet your taste. He asks you if it's good with his smiling eyes, and you reply to him with a smile.

"I envy you, Sanji." You put the cup down carefully, opt to lean against the kitchen table to watch him putting the potatoes into the pan. "I'm not good at cooking. I'm a woman, and I'm not good at it."

Sanji almost spills something out but quickly closes his lips. It's too early to voice his disagreement, and this sweet morning vibe is too good to be ruined.

He just doesn't understand why you suddenly say something like that to yourself. You're perfect in his eyes, and the fact that you're not as good as him in the kitchen doesn't change the way he sees you.

"Cooking is something we can practice, y/n, regardless you're a man or woman. What kind of food do you like?"

He washes and dries his hands before turning to you. The smile on his face doesn't completely cover the sadness in his gaze, but he hopes he delivers his thought fine enough for you to hear. You notice that he is just being polite as usual, so you play along with how he changes the subject.

"I like seafood, also spicy food. Eating something spicy just makes me excited," you chuckle over your own words, just your way when you feel embarrassed. The lines near the corner of his lips complement his sunshine smile, plus the smiley eyes that show what kind of heart he truly has.

"I can make a good seafood dish, also can make it spicy for you. Might offer you a private lesson for that," with a wink as a full stop.

"Expecting anything in return?"

"Mmm..." He turns off the stove and covers the pan with the lid before turning to the woman he adores every day, how his lips sheepishly stretch makes your heart beat faster. Having his hands rest on the kitchen counter next to your sides, he casually cages your more petite figure, but still gives you enough room if you want to escape.

Those ocean eyes scan your beauty closer this time, losing himself in the thought of the scenario he loves to play in his head. Sanji just wants to be with you. He would do anything, anything to earn himself an extra minute of this, but voicing it out might present him something he's not prepared to deal with. Better keep it to himself than risking the good friendship he treasures.

"Maybe there's a price for it. A dinner together, a little conversation after that..."

His words tickle his gut. He always wants to flirt with you though he knows how cheesy he can be, but it feels so good when he finally lets it out of his chest.

The ocean brings a flash of blue under the golden light as the sun rises, brightening half of the kitchen through the window. Under the honey-colored beam, you can't resist raising your hand to stroke his soft hair. He's so gorgeous in every way, then slowly down to caress his cheek with the back of your fingers, his gaze falls to your lips.

"I'm sorry, I can't."

That smile doesn't die. It's a tease after all, though you can see the light in his eyes start to fade. You gently pull his striped shirt closer to plant a simple peck on his cheek, then drawing yourself to witness his widened eyes. Those orbs never leave yours, he realizes your lips is so magnetic, and his mouth parted as if he wants to say something.

"I can't, if I have to wait until dinner." You place one hand over his covered broad chest, dusting it off while the other hand crawls to his nape. "Can we have it now? I barely see you eat together with us. I want to hear how our cook prepared all of this from scratch."

The glossy eyes dilated as he inches himself toward the apple of his eye. It's just one little move until his lips softly land on yours. Warmth envelopes you as he presses them for a moment to feel the fireworks within him, until he finds the courage to let you go. Four eyes look at somewhere else before falling into one point in front of them.

"And then we'll have the lesson after lunch. How does that sound?" Your whispery proposal sounds more beautiful than a mermaid's voice in his imagination.

You feel his hand wrap around your waist to secure you from the unstable surface, pressing his body just enough to keep you still. The tip of his nose kisses your cheek as he tilts his head, closing his eyes again when he tastes the honey water on your lips.

"Sounds like the best thing I've ever wanted," he murmurs between soft kisses.

Despite the sweet kisses he gives you and the proximity you have, he's still the Sanji you know. His hand movement never crosses the line. His touch feels protective, making you safe when he brushes your hair while his mouth still taking care of you.

"Mmh and maybe, Sanji..." you part for a second before kissing him again.

"Yeah.." tilting his head the other way to kiss you back.

"We can have a little conversation tonight." You pull his chest so gently, catching your breath. It's not an intense makeout, but as a cook, he knows how to control the heat. Your eyes catch his wet lower lip from the kisses, the pink shade looks more palpable from the soft nibble you gave him.

"Do you have time?"

"Oh madam," he looks at you intensely, his thumb strokes your flushed cheek. "After dinner, I'm completely yours.''

Completely yours. Those words hypnotize your hands to reach his top button, almost loosening it if you don't look at this face again showered by the sun rays. It's also hard for him to tame his rising heat, thinking of the possibilities he can have with you right now, but it's almost breakfast and time to wake others.

"Glad to hear that," you inch closer to give him one last kiss before filling yourself with the first meal of the day. "And thank you for the tea."

"Something sweet for someone sweet."

Sanji might need to go to the bathroom after this before resuming his routine. This morning tastes different on his palate. Warm yet addictive, and he wants to share the flavor by taking your breath away with one last kiss, a deep one with his hands wrapping around you tighter.

"Can't wait to get the sweetness out of you."

Do you know Taylor Swift's song "speak now"? WHY DO I IMAGINE WHOLE CAKE ISLAND WITH SANJI AND READER SOMEONE PLS MAKE IT 😭😭🛐🛐

I HAVE A WHOLE GALLERY DEDICATED TO THIS MAN UGHHHH 💗💞💘

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