Argyle Is The Person You Want On Your Team In An Apocalypse

Granted I’m new to reblogging - but what’s up with all music being directly linked to Spotify and just with every click, everytime, obliterating my carefully chosen Spotify queue?? Why? Terrible.

Steve’s taken up swimming recreationally again. Just doing laps and really, the trauma of feeling vulnerable in the water during the whole vecna thing, the water being a place he thinks of as *his* element (swim captain and all) he just has this urge to get back into it, for himself, and for a whole variety of reasons

He’s dropped some speed and stamina since high school and ehh he’s not really concerned about it and not super serious about it but thinks okay hey could be an idea to pull out some of those older high school training workout routines to build up his strength in the water, just doing it casually in his spare time

So Steve just running through his weight sets, doing push ups, sit ups, etc etc exercise

Well of course Eddie makes sure to be around - Steve, breathing heavily, sweaty, most likely shirtless, his hairy beefy muscles flexing? fucking try and keep him away.

Not that it’s hard - Steve likes background noise so is generally doing this all in the living room with the TV on in the bg. So Eddie just lays out “some” snacks for the show, rubs his hands together in anticipation, and parks himself on the couch, ass down feet up, ready for his visual and literal feast

It’s a new experience for Eddie, watching Steve exercise. Eddie never went to a single high school sporting event in his GD life, so never saw “The Hair” in his high school sporting heyday, but wow, Steve is so focussed! He knows Steve said he’s just mostly doing this for fun but once he starts a workout - Steve is competing with himself, pushing himself with his own challenges & goals, handsome face all furrowed up, eyes intense. He gets in his own world

Well Eddie thrives on watching Steve, but likewise, Eddie thrives on attention.

So Eddie decides he’s also gonna set himself some challenges.

Namely how long does it take to completely break Steve’s concentration til he pounces on Eddie like a sweaty animal.

He’s even got his own list of set plays:

Like Eddie will make sure to shift his pants to under his belly at the most opportune times - caught him stopping & staring just 30 seconds into bicep curls, Munson, new personal best

He’ll wear a low cut top, and lean forward for more food and push his tits together to create a taste of cleavage when the time is right - Eddie’s learnt through trial and error that the time for this is when Steve’s moved onto sit ups (get right in his line of sight and watch Steve noticeably linger on the sit up, then be on his back suspiciously longer for the down part)*

Then Eddie starts getting more creative, devising a character he likes to get into - After all, Eddie will not pass up a chance to be a irritating melodramatic character-acting ham. So he cooked up a strange athlete-gone-obliviously-soft caricature he plays up.

Now, Eddie definitely has no illusions about his lifelong lack of athletic prowess, Eddie’s never even pretended to be interested in sports for a second, both him and Steve know this, which means the stretching of the absurdity of this persona is part of the fun for Eddie

And the deeper and sweatier Steve gets into his workout, the more the visual combination of Eddie just sitting plump and pretty and ceaselessly eating himself out of his clothes vs the honestly inanely unhelpful “tips” he’s giving Steve, seems to rile up Steve in all the right ways

Eddies just lazily glutting himself, pizza box sat on his lap/belly, a bucket of fried chicken lined up for follow up, and between bites he’ll start offering Steve some helpful pointers. Mouth full, cheeks bulging, soft creamy lower gut inching further into his lap as the workout session goes on, really playing up the condescension, he’ll go for faux realism at first “idk man, form there looks a bit harsh on your lower back, if I were you I’d lower my shoulders a bit for that one” “…thanks Eddie”

But the longer Steve goes without breaking, Eddie will just start saying more and more nonsensical shit like “Might want to get some leg swing action in there for a real burn” when Steve’s doing like, lateral raises. But just saying it with so much unearned self assured bravado, while spreading his chunky thighs suggestively, to allow for more belly room

He’ll work in ridiculous stories of his own made up high school athletic achievements (“*chewing* what’s this exercise called again Stevie?” *breathe* *grunt* it’s a bent over row Ed.” “Oh yeah old bend over rows. Those ones’ll pay off, found all those bend overs really helped me get in the right shape for that ‘85 championship game.”)

He’ll say how he used to do things when he was “out on the field/track/pitch”, he’ll attribute his advice back to the “wise words” of his “coach” who’s name and sporting specialty seems to change on a whim, and the advice ends up being almost incomprehensible to someone who actually knows what they’re doing like Steve.

He’ll “absent mindedly” jiggle his belly while going on these “trips down nostalgia lane”**

Still something about the easy way Eddie just keeps on marathon non-stop stuffing himself the whole time, snacks getting more and more gratuitous, and the teasing criticism & the unmerited confidence of his coaching, which becomes more and more breathy the fuller he gets

All from the mouth of someone who hasn’t gotten up from the couch the whole time, except to lean forward to grab more food from the coffee table …..just..the delicious contrast gets Steve so hot under the collar. Steve never thought he was into jocks, but a jock gone soft is a whole new world he hadn’t thought about

Steve’s personal bests fluctuate week to week, workout to workout, but his progress getting back into a steady swimming routine is averaging an upwardly linear progression.

Eddie however will happily report that he beats his own personal time record every session

__________

*interlude here at the asterisk - Maybe this is under negotiated at first - but Once Eddie’s made sure, and is completely confident Steve knows Eddie’s not seriously meaning to undermine his workouts, that he knows Eddie is really happy Steve has an outlet and happy he’s combatting his PTSD in healthy ways, Steve assuring him he doesn’t mind it one bit, enjoys the teasing, enjoys the pretence even that he’s not enjoying it, the irritation all for show and ultimately part of the game and honestly Eddie giving him a “happy ending” is his new favourite part of exercising, that’s when Eddie feels free to get more creative

**And actually Steve’s gonna maybe need to tell Eddie to tone it down in future with the comedy act coz his rouse of playful irritation at points is getting hard to keep up, coz man Eddie is just so soft looking, stuffed full and being so irritatingly cute - which leaves Steve at points leaning dangerously to breaking his now designated character of “interrupted in-training athlete” and getting the giggles - which would be fine in another scenario, but not exactly ideal or easy to maintain while holding weights or certain positions

Hahaha i love this 🏋️anon, this gives me Ian doing situps while Mickey tosses bills at him energy (if you watch shameless)

I also love that it gets to be an outlet for both of them. Steve feels more confident, likes getting his muscle mass back, helps him feel useful and just ready for anything. Eddie gets another outlet to be a creative weirdo. Nympho boy loves regular sex, but weird roleplay sex where he gets to play a character? Uh, yes please.

The contrast is obviously hot and the game of getting Steve to say "fuck it" and fuck him, beautiful. There's so much here and I feel like I'm not doing it justice of telling you how on board I am and I know you have a follow up but just i love this.

Also Eddie being like "Who needs free weights when you have a sexy fat ass boyfriend to toss around. You want a workout? I'll give you one, big boy 😈"

FatEddie coaching ChaserSteve on how to verbally tease him.

Eddie reassures him over and over that that’s what safe words are for and he won’t be mad or upset at a misstep, he’ll just let him know and they can redirect & learn from there. And honestly big boy, he can take the punishment

But Steve is such a Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy…that boy dotes on his lovers by reflex and playfully flirts like breathing, so it’s certainly a mental pivot and Steve is so nervous that he’ll hurt Eddie.

And it’s not that he’s not really into the idea (that’s not the issue at all) but he’s just so unsure how to go about it? Like?? What do?? How to berate his boy just right for both their mutual satisfaction? Especially when it’s Eddie’s body.

This would be exactly it though because Eddie knows he's a kinky a fuck and he actually thinks it's so cute that his lover boy is so norm-core and vanilla.

Steve probably says something like

"Can't believe how lucky I am you're into this, I was afraid you'd think I was some weirdo because I sort of have a kink..."

And Eddie just does all soft and doe-eyed.

"Stevie. Answer me truthfully. You don't think this is the only kink I have, do you?"

"...I don't really know about any others..."

Becoming the real life version of the 😈 emoji, "You wanna learn, pretty boy? Cause there's some stuff that when I'm in bed, and i think about you doing it...saying it...fuck, Stevie, I'm hard just thinking about it." He straddles Steve on some threadbare couch, pressing his bulk, his softness crushingly close to his boyfriend, he's hard, and he's radiating heat like the engine of Steve's car.

Steve needs to be able to do this for him.

"Just tell me what to do, Edd, I'll do it!"

"Someone's an eager beaver. You know how much you like this, Steve?" He places Steve's hands on his belly, Steve automatically starts palming, rubbing squeezing, irreverently, "yeah like that. I need you to show me how much you like it, but I need you to talk so nasty and mean to me. Need you to roleplay for me, Stevie. Think of it like D&D. You can do that for me, can't you, baby?" And he keeps grinding down on Steve, panting and so slutty and sexy that Steve's brain is malfunctioning.

"I can do it, Edd, just tell me how!"

"Mmm you're such a good boy, Stevie. What'd I do to deserve you?"

It takes so much coaching and reassuring, and many safe word talks and laughing fits later eventually they start to build up sense of each other and Eddie gets a scene like

Opening the door to his trailer, "Harrington?"

Steve pushing him back through the doorway, letting himself in, "Fucking hell, Munson. Look at you..." Looking him up and down.

"Can I help you?" He keeps himself calm as Steve starts to stalk in closer to him and crowd him.

"Yeah, I was, uh, looking for Dustin. He'd said you were having him over for dinner, but it looks more like you had him for dinner. You've fucking blimped, man..." He grabs the soft over hanging part of Eddie's belly that pokes out from under his shirt like a handle, giving it a rough shake and watching completely engrossed.

"Yeah, that's cause every time I fuck your favorite ex-girlfriend, she gives me a cookie."

"That's some big talk, Munson. How'd Nancy feel about having the smaller rack of you two? See you haven't upgraded from a starter bra yet, have you, big boy?" Steve shoots back, snaking a hand up to squeeze Eddie's chest, tweaking his nipple while the other rubs at wide soft hang of his belly.

"Jesus fuck, Stevie...

"Yeah, you like that, double-wide? Hey, quick pause. Is this working? Like does it need any fine tuning. Sorry, I'm trying to stay in character but I'm really in my head right now."

"You're doing amazing, Stevie. Please keep going, I swear I'm like a fucking faucet right now!!"

"Let's go test the structural integrity of your bed then, Munson."

"Allons-y, Big Boy"

Oh wow!!! So happy to have received some more anons and sorry I’m so slow getting to them! Have an on-off relationship with sleep rn but will get to them in the morning x

Bride of Frankenstein (1935)