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Sobbing
this is kisaki (dead)ass
This is very cursed
Hair-swapped TWST Part 10
I had to do this in case y'all were getting comfortable with hot Leona and Malleus.
To whoever requested this, may god have mercy on your soul and I hope it is swallowed by hellfire/hj
I apologize to Rook Hunt. I am so sorry I did this to you š I have defiled your beautiful visage, and I am not worthy of your indiscriminate love. Please forgive this sinner š
Aww. I love this
What about Plants vs Zombies! Yuu or My little pony! Yuu?
(it's time to unlock some child nostalgia)
Hello! Iāll be doing the PvZ one ācause I donāt think the magic of friendship can help Yuu here much.
===
I'm just here to mix-and-match different kinds of Yuus with different kinds of personalities to see what monstrosity I can make. That being said,,, PvZ!Yuu brainrot!
Yuu here is eccentric and a bit crazy. Yeah, theyāre manifesting Crazy Daveās energy and also wearing the iconic saucepan helmet.
Thatās just what happens when theyāve been stuck in a zombie apocalypse with no human contact for who knows how long and only have their mutant plants to accompany them as well as fight hordes after hordes of zombies every day.
One day they suddenly appeared in Twisted Wonderland and Yuu just takes it all in stride. Why? āCAUSE THEYāRE CRAAAZY!!!!! Kind of, anyway...
So, after some things happen that ended with Crowley dragging both Yuu and a bound Grim to the Mirror Chamber, the ceremony proceed to continue.
The students witness this weird person wearing a saucepan on their head and holding an empty plant potāwait, does that⦠does that pot have eyesā¦?
Itās⦠Itās blinkingā¦
Anyway, the mirror says that Yuu doesnāt belong to any dormitory and the fire incident ensues.
Everything was in chaos and the next thing anyone knows, thereās this blue plant thing with eyes on the previously empty plant pot that starts shooting blue projectiles at the cat that seem to slow it down until the fire settled down.
Yuu picks up Grim and smiles goofily at him but thereās this look in their eyes that tells him they understand. Of the loneliness they feel, the fear of being alone, and the desire of wanting to be accepted.
They rub their cheek against Grim softly and says, āItās okay, kitty. Youāre not alone, anymoreā¦ā
āā¦Iām not a catā¦ā
So, major crisis averted, the ceremony ends and the students go to their respective dorms.
Fast forward a little later and Yuu and Grim gets Ramshackle as their home after learning that they were from another world.
Yuu takes one look at Ramshackle and they already have multiple plans of filling it up with plants.
Just imagine being Crowley visiting Yuu and Grim the next day to tell them they need to clean the Main Plaza for their janitorial duty only to see a bunch of what looks to be sunflowers with faces planted in a neat row not far away, swaying gently and glowing lightly before a miniature sun pops out of them which Yuu grabs nonchalantly.
Grimās there too, helping with catching the sunlight.
āWhat⦠exactly is happening here?ā
āWeāre collecting sunlight.ā
āOā¦kay⦠And why, may I ask?ā
āIn case the zombies come and try to eat my brains!ā
Crowley obviously never gets a proper answer so he just tells the duo of their job for today and goes on his way, still wondering where those sunflowers with faces even came from.
So anyway, the chandelier falling event happens and the single braincell group gets sent to the mines to get a magic crystal.
The Dwarf Mineās monsterās pretty durable and even after being crushed under the weight of Deuceās summoned cauldrons, it could still move.
So Yuu did the most reasonable thing they could think of and planted a Doom-shroom next to the monster.
Grim becomes curious of it since he was briefly informed by Yuu of what the plants they have can do but he doesnāt exactly know their specific abilities.
āHenchuman! Is that a mushroom? Why is it sleeping? What does it do?ā
āTheyāre sleeping because theyāre nocturnal! As for what they can do, wellā¦ā
Grim just watches Yuu break out into a crazy smile before tapping the mushroom with what seems to be a coffee bean.
Yuu then proceeds to scoop up Grim and lock their arms around Deuce and Aceās own before dragging them all away.
Grim, Ace, and Deuce sees the plant wake up and then just⦠explodes.
They watch in horrified fascination at the place the Doom-shroom used to be and the massive crater that decided to take its place.
āHeh⦠boomā¦ā Was all Yuu said, chuckling lightly to themselves.
So anyway Grim, Ace, and Deuce banned Yuu from planting the shroom unless they really, really had a good reason to do so.
Speaking of Doom-shroom, Yuu may be slightly crazy but theyāre not crazy enough to ever give or even let Jade learn of Doom-shroomās existence.
Or Hypno-shroom, for that matter, because who knows how many people theyād force into a contract if they ever used it.
So anyway, Yuu and Grim become students of NRC and people get to know Yuu as that weird person who always carry around a usually empty plant pot that had eyes and seemed to be sentient.
They also sometimes speak in grumbles and gibberish which confuses others most often than not but they eventually realizes that Yuuās a good person who likes to help others.
Anyway, every time Floyd sees Yuu, he tries to squeeze them.
If Yuu canāt escape in time from Floydās grasp, they always plant a Chomper in their pot which proceeds to bite Floydās head. That was all it does, though. It doesnāt hurt Floyd or anything. Floyd just finds the plantās attempt at eating him funny which makes his hold on Yuu loose enough for them to escape.
Also, aside from Doom-shroom and Hypno-shroom, Yuuās willing enough to show Jade the rest of the mushroom plants.
Jadeās favorite is the Scaredy-shroom. He just finds it cute whenever they try to hide from him.
Anyway, I imagine the pult plantsā āammoā can be eaten. Imagine Ruggie befriending a bunch of these and the plants just lets Ruggie take some of their āammoā to bring back with him. Infinite food strats, my friends. Ruggieās gonna go places.
Also, thereās Marigold but the questions is, would Marigold produce Twisted Wonderlandās currency or the currency from Yuuās world?
āI donāt want to destroy this placeās economy⦠Iām not that crazy.ā, says Yuu.
Also, the overblotā¦
Imagine Yuu planting a Repeater on the pot and whoever overblotted mocks them because what can a piece of pea do to them?
Cue Repeater turning into a Gatling Pea.
Additionally, Cob Cannons. Hecc, even a simple Cherry Bomb can do the job and knock the overblot boys out in an instant. The Doom-shroom is still banned as usual, though.
Yuu literally has access to military-grade firepower, everyone should fear them. Well, assuming they have enough sunlight, that is, but that doesnāt seem to be a problem for them.
Imagine Deuce and Ace entering Yuuās Zen Garden and sees a heccing Doom-shroom there, completely awake.
After the initial panic, they soon find out from Grim that it can actually choose whether to detonate itself or not which makes them significantly relax since there wasnāt any danger of it blowing up anytime soon, right? Right?
Yuu planting Planterns all over Ramshackle to save on electricity bills.
Wait, does Ramshackle even have working electricity? Or does it use magic?
Yuu gave Epel a Cattail on a pot one time.
Epel was a bit offended because he thought Yuu was mocking him for being cute-looking.
Yuu: āYou remind me of a Cattail. Cute-ā
Epel: *offended noise*
Yuu: ā-and also very deadly.
Epel: :0
Epel then finds out that Cattail can shoot sharp projectiles out of their tail that homes in on people or things they considered as an enemy. It instantly became his favorite plant.
Epel was very confused when the cat-looking plant started barking, though.
Yuu gives others plants if they know the others wonāt use it for nefarious reasons. Theyād know if they did and it would be extremely easy to take the plant away from them without the otherās knowledge.
When Yuu finds out about Silverās tendency to sleep a lot, they were very curious if their Coffee Bean would work on him.
Lilia walking in on the sight of Yuu lightly tapping the Coffee Bean in their hand against sleeping Silverās face. He has pictures.
Sadly, the Coffee Bean does not work.
Yuu asks Silver if they want to take a bite out of the Coffee Bean to see if itād help him stay awake but Silver refused because he didnāt really have the heart to take a bite out of the bean, especially when it was looking at him with wide eyes and a smile on its little bean face.
Yuu and Grim talking one night and Yuu casually says,
āYou know Grim. I like it very much in this place. It has humans in it and no zombies. The zombies in my world arenāt really friendly and they keep trying to eat my brain but I need my brain so I donāt let them.ā
āā¦Your world has what now?ā
why not both-
you can do one of two things:
consume the horrors
or
2. fuck the horrors
BYE
Ace: Once I overheard Yuu and Riddle having a fight that went like this-
flashback
Ridd: Anything that comes out of your mouth is stupid!
Yuu: Riddle Rosehearts
End Flashback
Ace: To this day I still laugh out loud in inappropriate settings because I randomly think about it-
I love Riddle, and I adore the only guy who can tell me what to do(He is the short queen so I must obey)...but it's gonna be colonizer vs Mexico again and I ain't losin-
Like how the corgi keeps checking back to make sure he still has horsy
he only exists in my dreams . Ū« ź£ą§ . mine
Me, reading my own unfinished fic: This is so good. I hope the author updates soon.
THIS IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT I'VE EVER READ š
synopsis: annoying (?) things that come up when you have sex with your respective hashira
pairings: tomioka giyuu x f!reader, shinazugawa sanemi x f!reader, rengoku kyojuro x f!reader, uzui tengen x f!reader, iguro obanai x f!reader, himejima gyomei x f!reader
warnings: minors dni, explicit smut, rough sex, cursing, no beta
notes: slander, just slander. and crack. i apologize for spelling/grammatical errors !
GIYUU:
awkwardly quiet from start to finish
like damn, mf, not even a grunt? A GASP? š
his breathing doesnāt even pick up
heās just silently hovering above, swiftly thrusting into you
even when he cumsāNOTHING!!
LIKE CAN YOU AT LEAST SIGH??
and to top it off, after he cums he just sorta rolls over and pets you on the head? like he wants to smooth your hair back but heās too afraid to commit??? like he wasnāt all up in your guts like two seconds ago?? āš
you genuinely have no clue if heās enjoying himself or not
you have to sit him down and admit to him that you feel a lil insecure because he doesnāt seem to be enjoying himself
giyuu feels TERRIBLE because he loves you deeply and is affected by you sm but he just canāt stand hearing himself moaning
his moans are kinda high-pitched, almost keening, and itās so embarrassing to him
to YOU, giyuu, not to us š«
āi...sound...weirdā is all he says, frowning in the complete opposite direction from you
he slipped up once tho and yāall werenāt even having sex
you were straddling his lap, both fully clothed, kissing each other fervently, after heād return to his estate after a very long mission
he was already feeling a little frayed from not seeing you for so long
so that with the way your grinding down against his bulging cock, mewling and moaning as you plant sloppy kisses against his mouth, his cheeks, the neck; sighing āmissed you, missed you so muchā into his ear
he starts to feel himself unravel at a rate that concerns him, you feel so good and sound so sweet āitās all too much for him
his breathing kinda stutters, but youāre too engrossed to notice
giyuu is like ānope, nuh uh, absolutely notā as he tries to gather himself together, blinking away the white spots in his vision
but then you drag your crotch against his clothed cock so good, so deliciously that he canāt help the shaky, high pitched moan that escapes from his lips
you glance up at him in shock while he shuts his eyes and hangs his head in shame
āwait...wait, giyuu did youāā
āstopā
āno wait! that was so hot!ā
almost kicks you out of his room š
like iām sorry, itād take a while for him to actually let loose but at least heās sorta sighing into your ear now? š
SANEMI:
talks a huge f*cking game about how big his cock is and how heās gonna tear your sh*t up
bitch...we werenāt being LITERAL
heās actually thrusting into you like he wants to square up with your cervix
LIKE BRO RELAX???
i do think sanemi enjoys rougher sex but sometimes i think itās a lil performative
i also think he feels that he needs to overcompensate bc he thinks heās not as experienced
yāall he canonically has a pet rhinoceros beetle,,,he aināt as big and bad as he seemsš
also he doesnāt know how to be truly intimate with anyone but we can get into that later
BUT ANYWAYS!
no foreplay, just dives into the pussy
literally throws you onto the bed, sucks at you neck for a bit and then all of sudden you hear a āhpwuah! š¦ā
and you sit up like āikyflā just to see heās spat onto the shaft of his cock, pumping his fist along his shaft to spread the saliva
babe thatās when you shouldāve sat up and left š
HIS COCK IS TOO FCKIN THICK AND BIG TO BE DOIN STUPID SH*T LIKE THAT
between the lack of foreplay and the way heās just slamming his hips into yours...you are in PAINNN
and he keeps grunting shit like āyeah, you like that? gonna tear your f* ckin uterus into halfā WHAT?(???$;@3&:
you slam your fists against his chest and choke out a āsanemi, stopā
he stills instantly, panting as his facial expression morphs into one of confusion and concern
āwhatās wrong?ā he asks gruffly, gently placing his hand on your arm and giving you a tiny squeeze there
once you tell him that heās hurting you way more than youād like, heād feel bad almost immediately
sanemi sits back, his shoulders tense with shame and he gives a terse, āsorry ā
willing to learn but yāall might argue here and there bc he refuses to believe that he isnāt the pussy destroyer he claims to be
KYOJURO
okay heās actually got the mechanics down
has no problem pleasuring you/making you cum
HOWEVER!
HEāS LIKE MFIN DRILL SERGEANT
like yāall canāt have sex leisurely š
and itās not so much a sexual thing as it is that kyojuro just wants you to be the best version of yourself possible,,,in every aspect of your life š
it starts off as like kyojuro being like āONE MORE ROUND!ā and you thought it was hot that his stamina was through the roof
but then it quickly turns into āomg WHEN DOES THIS END?!āccā
youāve been bouncing on his cock FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG trying to get him to cum
but youāre tiring quickly, your thighs burning as they tremble against kyojuroās waist
youāre place your hands on his lower stomach for SOME sort of stability as your hips stutter
kyojuro feels you tremble against him and from the way youāre panting, he knows itās from exhaustion
he has his hands on your waist to help you keep balance, but he isnāt assisting you šhe wants you to work for it
youāre sweaty af, struggling to lift your hips off his cock as you pout up at him
āi-iām getting tired, kyojuroāā
āyou are? but itās only been sixteen minutes?ā he smiles up at you, face flushed as his hair spills around the pillow.
āiām not fit like youā you pant, face screwed up as your calves begin to cramp up.
kyojuroās face falls slightly āah, donāt say that! youāre just as fit! here, letās try for ten more minutes, i believe in you! šļø šā
and he looks up at you so earnestly,,,youāre like āgodDAMNITā
he holds both of your hands in his to keep you balanced and he literally starts shouting encouragements at you jskziwkuss
shouts a variation of like ātry harder!ā and ā7 more minutes! you can do this!ā
MF, NO I CANāT š§š¾āāļøš
you know when youāre doing an intense workout and you get so tired your life flashes before your eyes? YEAH,,,YOU ARE DYINGGGG RN
of course you donāt complete the full 10 minutes but kyojuro doesnāt get on your ass completely about it
he just flips your listless body over and adjusts himself before he starts slowly thrusting into you
ādonāt worry, my love! all that matters is that you tried! iām sure you can do it next time!ā he beams down at your whimpering form, before kissing your forehead
heās cute but LIKE WHY DOES SEX HAVE TO BE A MFIN WORKOUT?? āš
you have to tell him that youāre down to workout with him (RIP to you š) OUTSIDE the bedroom but you want sex with him to be slow paced and intimate...not him yelling at you like heās your coach
heāll ease up immediately, donāt worry!
OBANAI
mf said āthe snake stays ON during sex! š¤šÆā
jk
no iām not
obanai is like ācan kaburamaru stay in the room? šā
and youāre like āiāum, that would be cool but i feel like heād be uncomfortableā
and heās like āomg ur right...i wouldnāt want to watch him have sex either i guess šā
so yāall have to PLAN AHEAD TO FIND A BABYSITTER FOR HIS SNAKE IF YALL WANNAā š¤¦š¾āāļø
obanai thinks of kaburamaru as a friend, not so much as a pet so heās feel guilty for āabandoningā him because he has a S/O now
thatās his mfin bestie š
okay real talk, obanai loves you, he is bewitched, body and soulā
maybe a bit TOO much because heāll literally cum during foreplay and then pass out right after š
HKSHDIDJEI HE CANāT HELP IT!!
he tries to continue after cumming, but itās like heās been drugged
his eyes are struggling to stay open, barely holding himself up as he keeps slurring on his words, like omg baby,,,just sleep, itās okay
he tries tries tries to make you cum before he finishes, BUT EVERYTHING YOU DO GETS HIS COCK ROCKHARD
obanai was laying between your legs, lip suctioned around your clit, dragging his tongue over the little nub
all while heās languidly thrusting two fingers in and out your slick pussy
and baby his head game is *CHEF KISS*
youāre mewling and whining, grinding your hips against his face as he laps his tongue up and down your folds
the sounds your making, the taste of your cunt, the way he can feel you throbbing against his mouthāit has HIM trembling and whimpering
heās unconsciously rutting his hips against the mattress, squeezing his eyes shut as he attempts to control himself
but then you make this sound thatās caught between a whimper and grunt, and it catches so prettily in the back of your throatā
he blows his load, unbeknownst to you, as gasps against your heat
he literally knocks out between your legs, with his mouth smushed against your pussy š
TENGEN
not a single f*cking thing
look at that man and tell me he doesnāt give you the best pipe of your life
okay wait actually there maybe ONE THING āļø
he talks wayyyy too fucking much during sex
and itās mostly outlandish sh*t
okay, when he asked āwhose pussy is this? š©ā it was all fine and dandy BUT THEN HE TAKES IT UP A NOTCHā
āyouād die by this dick, huh šā
my pride wonāt let me say yes, but yes...i would š§š¾āāļø
like he says the most strange sh*t ever and it draws you out of the sex head space to be like ā...WAIT WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?ā
he does it on purpose though š
heās lining himself up to your entrance and he looks up at you smirking and is all like āim gonna make you a single motherā
AYOO???? š
BITCH.WHAT.THE.FUCK??!!
you literally shoot up, scrunching your legs up to your chest
while he laughs at your horrified look
BRO DONāT PLAY LIKE THAT š
that and i feel like heās so fckin heavy handed omg
slaps your ass while youāre riding him and your whole skeleton rattles for like 5 minutes after š
yeah other than that...there is no way heād be bad at sex
GYOMEI
very...very...gentle
heās genuinely afraid of hurting you during sex
like heās so MASSIVE and heās convinced there is no way you can take all of him
he feels the way your pussy barely accommodates two of his fingers and heās like āhm maybe not...š„²ā
when heās fingering you, he just barely squirms his fingers around while he winces in fear that heās hurting you
you tell him āgyomei, go harderā
and heās like ānoā
!;&;&/&/7,$;7)/)/
and youāre like ābut i barely feel you moving?ā
and heās like ātrust me this is for your own goodā
YOU DONāT KNOW MY LIFE!
when he finally finally agrees to f*ck you with his cock, the whole process takes almost three hours because he takes his time lubing you up and stretching you out with his fingers
it takes him the whole last hour to actually bottom out just from out how slow heās easing into you
and everytime your breath catches in your throat, he slides his cock from out of your pussy and heās like āahh, i knew this was a bad idea!ā
and then yāall have to start all over again
he can barely feel you squeeze around his cock from just how youāre stretched around him and he starts to freak out
you have to assure him that heās not hurting you so he doesnāt pull out again
heās so sweet tho š„ŗ