Stay In The Car

Lonely Christmas

hot cocoa bar celebration🧤❄️🎄 | requested here

Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!Army vet!cop!reader

Summary: During a Christmas Eve night shift with Tim Bradford, you glimpse what is behind his tough exterior.

Warnings/Word Count: vague depictions of veteran-specific depression, brief angst, Tim yells at r, fluff and comfort. 1.1k+ words

A/N: This is a dynamic (Tim with a partner who was also in the Army) that I've had on my mind for a while. While this is a really fast-paced blurb-like fic specific to Christmas, I'd really love to write more of this pairing if anyone is interested. Sorry for the short length but I really wanted to get it done before Christmas Eve🫶🏼

Working the night shift on Christmas Eve feels like the opposite of a Christmas miracle. The long night is made worse when you’re partnered with Tim Bradford. He’s had something against you since you joined the department after leaving the Army. Though you’ve never spent more than a few hours with Mid-Wilshire’s grumpiest officer, you know he doesn’t like you, so you decide to stay quiet and obedient to make Santa’s job – and your own – a little easier tonight.

“Merry Christmas,” you greet as you enter the passenger seat of Tim’s shop.

Tim huffs, and you set a small treat bag of cookies from a nearby bakery in the console without a word.

“Thanks,” he mumbles.

“Is Christmas Eve usually hectic?” you inquire.

“Depends on the year. Based on the last few weeks, I’d say it’ll keep us busy.”

You nod, then inquire, “Any plans for Christmas tomorrow?”

“Nope. Heads up, grey Challenger.”

“I’ll run the plate,” you offer, secretly wishing you were in a sleigh rather than a shop.

“VA Hospital reported a disturbance,” dispatch radios. “Two armed men forced their way into a room and have barricaded themselves in with equipment.”

“Responding,” Tim replies. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” you inquire softly.

“Try to twist this into some merry Christmas thing. We’re vets, we know there are plenty of people like us spending the holidays alone, grieving for those we’ve lost, and I don’t need you to make this specific slice of reality any harder than it already is,” Tim snaps. “So, let’s deal with this call like it’s not Christmas and move on.”

As your shift comes to an end, with the brutal reminder that lonely people go to extremes even during the holidays and several emotional bruises from Tim snapping at you more than often, you try to remind him that he is not alone. Over the last few years, you’ve learned to take Tim’s attitude and swings from helpful superior to the short-tempered Bradford the station knows him as in stride.

Walking through the station to return to your lonely home, you’re surprised to hear Tim call your name. You turn to face him, and he pulls his backpack strap tighter against his shoulder. It’s nearing midnight, almost Christmas, and you’re expecting one more reprimand to conclude the all-but-perfect night shift.

“Do you want to come over for dinner?” he offers. “My sister dropped off a casserole this afternoon.”

“Dinner at midnight?” you clarify with a grin. “I’d love to. Only if you’re sure, I don’t want to impose on you on Christmas.”

“I’m free for the next few hours.”

You follow Tim out of the station and tip your head in thanks after he opens the passenger door of his truck for you. The ride to his house is quiet, only the low humming of instrumental Christmas music filling the space as Tim navigates the quiet (for once) streets of Los Angeles.

“What are you doing for Christmas?” you ask as you enter his home.

“Going to visit my sister and nephews for lunch and gifts,” he replies. “You?”

“I’ve got a few people to see.”

Tim nods and begins preparing the food. You start to speak simultaneously, and your expression of gratitude is cut short when you smile. “Go ahead,” you murmur.

“I wanted to apologize for earlier,” Tim begins. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you about the vet in the hospital. It just… it reminded me of one of the guys in my last unit. Seeing people like us struggling around the holidays is hard, but you know that, and I had no excuse to yell at you like that. So, I’m sorry.”

“I do know that, but I can also understand that your response is valid. I probably would have overstepped, and honestly I’d rather you yell at me before I can do something that pushes you away rather than letting me do it and suffer the consequences.”

Tim’s brows pinch as he asks, “And what do you think the consequences would be?”

“Let’s just say I would hate to end up on the Bradford Naughty List.”

Tim’s face shifts into a smile as he shakes his head, and you grin at him before offering to get plates for dinner.

Something shifts beneath your cheek, pulling you from a peaceful slumber. You don’t sleep well most nights, and for a moment, you think Christmas magic lulled you to sleep. Then you realize that the fabric under your face looks awfully familiar. Sitting up, you press your lips together as you watch Tim blink and look at you. You remember eating dinner side-by-side and watching a rerun of It’s a Wonderful Life. You had no intention of falling asleep together, or in his house, for that matter.

“You look your cutest like this,” Tim rumbles, his voice thick with sleep and concerningly unfiltered.

“But I just woke up,” you argue.

Tim nods, his full attention on you, and states, “I know what I said.”

“I- I should probably go. You have your family to visit. Merry Christmas, Tim, and thanks again for dinner.”

While you gather your things, Tim watches your movements from the couch.

“Why do you care so much?” he asks.

“About what?” you ask, looking up from your bag.

“Me, people… You tried to make last night feel like Christmas. Why?”

You shrug. “Everyone deserves some magic, and there’s no better time than Christmas. And, as for you… I have an idea of what it’s like. I do know that it’s not easy, and though I can’t imagine what you’ve dealt with specifically, you haven’t let it keep you from seeing the good in people. Even if you don’t let on that you do.”

“I see the bad too.”

“Job hazard. Despite seeing that bad side, you still let people close. That’s why I care about you, because you’re a good person.” Tim opens his mouth again, and you add, “That last point was objective, it’s not up for debate.”

“Do you want to stay?” Tim asks after a moment. “You shouldn’t be alone on Christmas, either.”

“Your family,” you remind him.

“I’m sure they have an extra plate,” Tim teases.

You gesture to your outfit and slept-on hair, but Tim stands and lays his hands on your shoulders.

“I already said you look your cutest like this.”

“Thought you were incoherent and half-asleep.”

“But don’t I see the good in people?”

Your head falls back as you groan. Tim offers to drive you home to let you get ready, and you realize that you wouldn’t mind spending Christmas with him and his family. Even if he yells at you and calls you cute mere hours apart. It’s part of his Tim Bradford charm.

fuck around & find out

summary: y/n is curious to how aces devil fruit powers work

a/n: i wanted to do ace cuz first, uhmm that’s my man. and second!!! the vibes are sooo fall rn & i love the cold weather,,,, so enjoy <3

warnings: MDNI, pussy eating, backshots, cowgirl, soft!ace (i luv him)

☆彡

~

it’s the cold months on the ship that have you cravinggggg some warmth, whether that be from your heated blankets, your warm coffee in the mornings, or late night fires with the crew… you just loved the warmth, especially this time of year. the ocean was getting colder the more up north we sailed causing freezing mists to come up and hit the deck. you’ve been hanging around ace more often too, attracting to him like a moth to a lamp. while he was back on board, you took advantage of your friendly little flame~

you are laying together with ace all cuddled up and cozy in his bed, he has a campfire scented candle burning brightly in the corner of his room. admiring the man before you makes your tummy feel warm and nostalgic.

he has you so close, arms pressed side to side as you’re both laid against the pillows resting on the back of his headboard. one of his hands start to peak out of the blankets, he stretches his fingers before hyping you up, getting you ready for his next move. “mkay i call this,,,, wizard fingers.” you can never take him seriously, your cheeks are so sore from all the smiles he’s stolen from you. wizard fingers??? this can’t be real.

ace wiggles his fingers before you as you see each one of them ignite with small little flame. you giggle. “shouldn’t they be called lighter fingers? you literally look like you’re about to go burn a candle.” he groans next to you. “oh my god y/n. you didn’t let me finish!” you stare at his hands as he starts to manipulate each of the flames from his fingers.

he pulls four of them back into his fist leaving just his index finger ignited. the flame starts to form little letters. each flash was a letter from your name. flash. flash. flash. you smile even more, he’s such a dork.

“it’s pretty cool, i know.” he smirks “wasn’t like i was even practicing or anything.” you think he’s so full of himself but you can’t help but admire, he warms your heart. your cold hands are on his body as he still has you close. his powers are so interesting. all of this came from just eating a fruit? you can’t contain your thoughts as you think of all the possibilities, he’s so warm.

maybe it was the skin on skin that were feeding your delusions but you couldn’t stop yourself from thinking of what he feels like.

he tucks his hands back away under the covers moving to hold your hands in his. you still haven’t answered him, your mind was still deep in the clouds. “okay maybe i was practicing,, getting it legible was kinda hard.” he laughed and you felt his chest move against your arm. “hmm?” you recollect your thoughts. ace looks at you. “were you for real not listening, y/n. that was cool! right!?” he looks at you to make sure you are finding this entertaining. “ahh sorry just not thinking right haha-” you mumbled and he looked puzzled, he shifted under the blankets to wrap his arms around you and pull you in a hug. his chin rested on the top of your head. “what do you mean.” his body burned hotter trying to warm you up.

“jus thinking about you- err well your devil fruit powers.” you curse yourself. but glad that you’re faced with his chest instead so that he couldn’t see the embarrassment on your face right now. he laughed at you again. “what’s so special y/n. i just get warm. ‘m happy you like it though.” his arms tighten around you, squeezing you softly. your tummy was doing flips again, the way he had a grip on you sent shivers to your core. the feeling of his firm, scorching arms had you craving more from him. you knew he was teasing you though. he always would, he knew how much you loved his fiery touch and playful behaviors.

you’re face to face with him again, seeing red flames in his eyes. heat spreads to your face as his eyes lock on yours, waiting for any reaction from you. you’re lips hesitate to speak. “you- you get warm… everywhere?” your eyes avoid his. his hand gripped your thighs right below your ass, softly tugging on you to get your leg wrapped around his torso. you feel his hot fingers brushing away the stray hairs that were messily covering your face. it burned hot. his face proved that he found your embarrassment amusing.

“wanna find out?”

~

ace kisses you softly. his hot hand reaching up the softness of your shirt and leading themselves to your perked nipple. his hands are so rough, much different than the way his lips feel. he kisses the side of your mouth and whispers softly to you, “you’re still so cold?” he giggles as he watches you squirm at his touch.

“ace, your portholes are open. it’s fucking cold in here.” you whine trying to keep his heated fingers on you. his amused grin has you needy and irritated. you reach for his hands again. “just a second babe, let’s get ya shirt off.” ace helps to fully undress you with sturdy hands. a shiver leaves your body, covering you in goose bumps as the cool sea breeze hits your skin. “i’ll getcha all warmed up baby.”

he takes his hands and starts massaging the creases of your hips. kneading and pulling on your plush skin, slowly working his tepid hands all the way up your torso. the heaviness in his touch relieved so much within you, moaning at his warmth and his strength. he is manhandling you with you such softness and love.

hot palms come up to cup under your breasts tenderly, dipping his head down and sucking against your pretty nubs. his tongue swirls around each one leaving a string of warm saliva connecting from your buds to his lips. “are we gettin there, pretty? how do you feel?” wanting more, you pull him so that his chest meets yours. he buries his face into your neck and softly suckles. his breaths are hot there. “m still cold ace, wanna feel you” you whine for him.

his lips curl into a smile against your skin, he knew exactly what you craved. “how do you want it angel?” his clothed thigh pushes against your needy cunt, collecting many fifty whines from you. his fire ignited something warm inside of you, you need it to burn brighter.

his body shuffles down the bed, inching his face to be face to face with your sleep shorts. ace wants your juices dripping down his face, seeing you twitch for him has him starving. impatiently, he removes your shorts and panties, tossing them to the floor. he takes your hands with his own while he plays with you devilishly with his tongue, squeezing your palms slightly when he feels you try to move away.

his tongue attached to you like a magnet, chasing every move, he wouldn’t let you get away. he squeezes your hands again, “that’s it baby, such a good girl.” his tongue drawing little clouds on your swollen clit. “doin so good, can’t get enough of ya y/n~” he gulps all of your juices, sucking you clean. “haah- fuck acee. mm so close.” the tip of his nose brushed against the point of your clit as he slid his lips to your weeping hole, drinking even more of you.

he flicks back and forth from your hole to your clit with his tongue. removing one of his hands from yours, he reaches for the plump of your thigh. he squeezed harshly, assuring you to cum for him. his tongue moved swiftly with your slick allowing you to reach your orgasm. “ace! ‘m cuh- cumming!! shiiit right there haa-“ the sight of his glistening face sent an aftershock to your cunt, his smirk was so sexy while he was covered with your juices.

ace’s cock ached in his boxers, there were little dark spots littered across the fabric from his precum. “can ya do one more for me baby doll?” whimpers leave your lips while your head slightly nodded for him. “you did so good fa me y/a~ now you ready to feel this dick cupcake?”

~

your pussy was already sopping for him but still there was a little resistance when he slid into you. ace moaned breathily at the feeling of your tight walls clenching around him. “fuuu- shit y/n- feel so fuckin good mmmf~” his hot hands pushed down on your low back as your pussy was busy sucking around his cock.

your eyes watered at the shear width of him, he was spreading your sore cunt so deliciously. you felt your second orgasm start to form within your overstimulated core. he reached your cervix with one final slow push. once fully fitted around his length, you fucked back on him, slowly grinding your ass against his hard thighs.

ace tried to muffle his moans with his hand but you stripped them from him, he couldn’t be quiet. his deep moans echoed in his small cabin, ricocheting deep in your pulsating cunt. you throbbed for him, he curved upwards directly hitting your sensitive spot. ace gripped both sides of your ass to speed up his pace. pulling you hard against his reckless thrusts. he was getting sloppy. each thrust was met with the clapping of your cheeks on him, he groaned with each contact hit.

“wanna look atcha-“ he flipped you around to face him. you whined at the sudden emptiness but sighed as he soon filled you back up again. “don’t worry mama, wasn’t gonna take it from you.”

his voice was going blurry in your ears, dick so good you’re hearing auditory hallucinations. he took hold of your hips again while you sat on top of him, he rocks against you slowly.

you miss his mouth, his warmth~ wanna taste him again. your arms detach from his shoulders to hang loose around his neck, forehead rested against his while he fucks up into you. you’re ready, you wanna cum around him. pussy numb from feeling his tip abuse your cervix. “mm so close ace, please fuck me-” nonsense spilling from your lips, he is fucking you dumb.

your eyes are heavy as you try to line your lips up with his, drool sliding around both of your faces. he connects with you and sucks feverishly on your swollen lips. ace begins to pull you up and down on his veiny cock, bouncing you sporadically. the tightness in your eyes not helping you postpone your orgasm. “mmm ahh huhh- f-fuckk gonna- agh i’m cumming baby!!!!” the pleasure washes over you like a tsunami, it’s almost too much. your legs start to tremble as you effortlessly squeeze and clench around his width. “fuck cum in me ace- warm me up~” your wall’s are contracting around his poor, twitching cock while you milk him~ his breaths were shaky and irregular as he chased his own release.

“y/nnn-“ his husky voice filled your ears as you saw him cum inside of you. hips shuttering as his orgasm strikes him. pretty black hair sticking to the beads of sweat stuck to his forehead, his eyes tightened as he grunted out your name a few more times. glistening before you, he looked so ethereal..

~

* we are cuddling and warm and soo in luv !!! *

He is Nothing Like You

Tim and Reader have been secretly married for three years, which has done them good, considering the risks of Tim's occupation. One day, while Tim was on shift, he never expected his secrets to start ripping at the seams and spill onto the floor.

MDNI 18+ since it involves sexual activities! I’m gonna do a second part

"I've been meaning to ask you, what's the ring around your neck?" Lucy asks, trying to break the silence in the shop.

"Not that it's any of your business, but it's just a ring to me, no specific meaning," Tim responds while silently praying Lucy would end the conversation there, "Also it's safer if it's around my neck than on my finger."

"Grey wears his wedding band, and you don't see him having any trouble with it," Lucy mentions as Tim chuckles and reminds her that Luna would kill him if he ever took his ring off.

"Just let it go and focus on other important things, like that carjacker right there," Tim said, causing Lucy to jerk her attention back in front of her as he stopped the shop and the both of them get to work.

Once the carjacker was booked and processed, Tim and Lucy were on their way to get back on the road when Grey stopped them with a, "Bradford, my office real quick."

Lucy asks, "What is that all about?" Tim responds, "I don't know, just wait by the shop. I'll be there when I'm finished."

Tim enters Grey's office to see his wife, Y/N, sitting in one of the chairs. "She doesn't look pleased about something," Tim thought to himself before Grey excused himself to let the couple talk privately.

-Y/N's POV-

"Is everything okay?" Tim asked me while I got up from the seat to stand in front of him before I ask him, "Do you remember telling me when we first started dating that your dad died?"

Tim gulps before clearing his throat and answered, "Yes, why are you bringing that up?"

"I was cleaning the house up when the phone rang. It was a hospice nurse calling for you because Tom Bradford was asking for you," I responded before continuing, “Thinking it was the wrong number, I called Genny to ask her what was happening. She told me I needed to have that conversation with you."

Before Tim could answer me, Grey popped his head in to remind Tim about an old case regarding a family friend, Monica Ochoa.

"Do you need to go? I'm not mad. I'm just so confused," I said before Tim turned his head towards Grey and told him he was still on it before turning his attention back to me.

"I'll explain it later, I promise," Tim responds before I nod. Understanding his tone's urgency, I told him I'd be waiting with Kojo at home.

Hours passed before I heard the doorknob jiggle; Kojo had heard it since he had jumped off the couch to run to the door and greet Tim.

"Hey bud," I hear Tim say as his footsteps start toward the living room, bringing him into view.

"Hi," I say as Tim takes a seat next to me before he takes my hands in his.

"I haven't been honest with you about everything, and I am truly sorry. It wasn't fair of me to let you get whiplash from finding out I lied about my dad being dead," Tim responds as I notice tears brimming in his eyes, making me take my hands back and put one of them on his cheek, running my thumb along the bone.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. I meant what I said. I'm not mad at you," I whisper, reassuring him before he sighs and responds, "I know, but it still wasn't right of me. So, I want to tell you everything."

"Okay," I say as Tim clears his throat to mention, "The reason I told you he was dead is because he's dead to me. He was abusive. To me and Genny, mostly me."

Before I can ask, he says, "When I was 7, he smashed my head into a wall. Another time, he left me at Griffith Park with only a compass to find my way home, said it's supposed to turn me into a man."

"Tim," I croak out before tears started to fall down my cheeks, "Now I feel bad that you had to reopen those wounds."

"No, no, don't you dare blame yourself," Tim said as he wiped the tears before continuing, "I should've been honest from the get-go, but instead, I wanted to keep that part of my past secret to spare you from the pain. And it was about time I told you since I have to see him."

"You don't need to see him if you don't want to. Don't let this hospice situation guilt you," I respond before Tim shook his head and told me it had to do with the Ochoa case.

"I think he had something to do with it; now I have to face him," Tim says, looking like the little boy who just wanted his dad's love, which prompts me to ask, "Want me to come with you?"

"No, you don't have to. I wouldn't force you," Tim started to say before I cut him off, "I want to. You're my husband, and my vows stated that I will be by your side for every obstacle in your path."

"Okay," Tim whispered as the both of us exited the house hand in hand, preparing to battle this demon together.

We arrived at the facility and entered the room to see my father-in-law lying in his hospital bed.

"Oh, man. Never thought I'd see your face again. Genny tell you to visit?" Tom says as I squeeze Tim's hand harder in comfort.

"Wow, liver really did a number on you, old man," Tim responds before Tom tells him he doesn't have it so bad.

"Nurses here all love me. It's just no one will bring me that shot of Patron I keep asking for," Tom says as he jesters toward the apple juice, saying it's a joke.

"A cruel joke if you ask me," I thought before glancing at Tim's face to see he thinks the same.

"You always seem to have someone looking after you, even when you don't deserve it," Tim responds, squeezing back my hand.

"Something on your mind, son?" Tom asked, clearly wanting this to be done and over with.

"Remember Frank Ochoa? Lived down the street. Shot to death 25 years ago. Well, I'm sure you remember his wife, Monica," Tim responds.

"Can't say I do," Tom deflects, obvious sign that he does remember.

"Come on. You were sleeping with her behind Mom's back," Tim says, making Tom laugh, and he asks where he got that from. Tim mentions that he saw the two of them together when he was 13.

"Oh, crap," Tom says before Tim continues, "For some reason that I still don't understand, I lied for you, lied to Mom."

"Poor little Tim-Tim," Tom degrades before spouting out, "What are you bitching about? You kept your mouth shut. You did good. Now get over it."

I feel my blood start to boil in anger at the audacity, the disrespect this son of a bitch in front of me had for the man I plan to spend forever with and have children with, but I keep quiet because he seems to not care about my presence.

"You know, I found the gun that you hid in the wall. I know you killed Frank. But why'd you do it? You wanted Monica all to yourself?" Tim asked before continuing, "Ruining one family wasn't just enough for you, was it?"

Tom takes his cannula out before getting off the bed and walking towards us. "And so what if I did?" What are you gonna do about it?"

"Get back in bed," Tim grits out as he moves me to stand more behind him for safety reasons, prompting Tom to challenge him with a "Make me."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. You're right. I killed Frank. But he had it coming. So screw him, and screw you," Tom says before telling Tim to put the cuffs on him and drag him away from his deathbed like a big man.

"This isn't over," Tim responds as he grabs my hand again, and we both leave Tom's room.

"I'm sorry. You shouldn't have heard all of that," Tim whispers before entering the truck, "I have to get to the station and type up that report. I'll drop you off at home before I do."

"No, take me with you, it would save gas," I said as I explained to Tim it wouldn't make sense to do that.

After arriving at the station, Tim heads to one of the computers while I follow him. I glance over to see his rookie, Lucy, walking over.

"My dad confessed to Frank Ochoa's murder. I'm typing up the report," Tim tells Lucy as she looks at me before gesturing there were ears listening, "She's my wife, she knows."

"Wait, wife?! As in ring on the finger?" Lucy asked in shock as I raised my left hand to show her my wedding band, "We'll get to that later, but Tim, while you were gone, I brought Monica Ochoa back in."

"Why?" Tim asks as Lucy explains, "Because I knew there was more to her story. You couldn't see past the version that you wanted to see."

"What'd she say?" Tim asks again, before Lucy tells him what was confessed.

The look on Tim's face tells me we're going straight back to that hospice facility. We walk back into the room and see Tom snoring in the chair, so Tim places the shot glass and pours Patron before placing the bottle on the table, waking Tom up.

"You brought me a present?" Tom asks before Tim tells him to think of it as a push.

"You didn't kill Frank," Tim says as Tom repeats that he did and tells Tim to cuff him, "Monica confessed."

"Leave her out of this," Tom responds.

"Frank was beating her. She fought back. She shot him. She was terrified, so she ran to you. You came up with the burglary story, helped her stage the house, then you hid the gun in case the cops got too close and you needed to frame someone else," Tim says.

"He was a brutal, abusive bastard. She deserves a medal for what she did," Tom responds, making me and Tim look at him in shock.

"He was an abusive bastard?" Tim asked, testing Tom for what came out of his mouth.

Feigning confusion that was fake, Tom asked if he was like him, which prompted him to say he was nothing like Frank.

"I taught you what you needed to know, son. You're a man now because of me," Tom says before I finally let my voice be heard.

"No, absolutely not. You are not getting credit for how Tim turned out," I gritted through my teeth as Tom looked at me with disdain before asking me who I was, "I happen to be the woman your son is going to spend the rest of his life with. I'll be damned if I stand by and let his piece of shit father try to take what's rightfully his credit. You deserve nothing of the sort, he's nothing like you and he will never be like you."

"Tim, you're going to let your wife speak to me this way?" Tom asked before Tim scoffed and responds, "She's right. I'm who I am in spite of you."

As Tom sits there stunned, Tim says, "Goodbye, Dad. I hope it hurts."

We left the facility without looking back, and after we arrived home, I suddenly felt my body being moved to where my back faced the door and I craned my neck up to look into Tim's eyes.

"Thank you," Tim whispers as I look at him in confusion, "Thank you for being by my side for that. I know it wasn't easy, but you were right. I needed you there with me."

"You don't have to thank me for that, I will always be there for you," I say before Tim smiles and leans down to kiss me.

After kissing for what felt like minutes, Tim moves his mouth to be near my ear and he whispers, "I'm also really turned on by you defending me."

I laugh before asking, "Oh are you? What are you going to do about it?"

I feel Tim's hands move down to my ass before I squeak out in surprise as he hoists me up, causing me to wrap my legs around his waist and feel the outline of his dick through his jean.

"I think I'm going to give my beautiful wife a thank-you gift," Tim whispers before moving towards our bedroom and putting me down on the bed.

"Tim, you don't have to," I started to protest before he cuts me off, "Just let me do it, you deserve it."

My attention gets grabbed while I watch his hands curl around the collar of his shirt before he pulls it up off his body, which, I feel myself start to drool over my husband's abs. His hands then moved to his belt to unbuckle it before he walk up to me and get down on his knees so he can be on the same level as me. Tim pulls me into another kiss, one more passionate than the last, as I feel his hands unbutton my jeans before he pulls the materials down to my ankles to take them off, leaving me in my black panties. He then positions my body to lean back against the pillows before he moves himself to be above me, Tim asks, "Is this okay?"

Not trusting my voice, I nodded my head before Tim's fingers curled around the sides of the panties as he started pulling them down. He groans out in pleasure as he changes his position, his shoulders in between my thighs, keeping my legs where he wants them to be, his hands near the area I yearn for him to pay attention to. I shivered when I felt his breath before he placed his mouth on me, causing me to let out a shuttered moan. When I felt myself getting close, Tim pulled away, causing me to groan out in frustration, making him laugh.

"The only way you're cumming is around my dick," Tim whispered in my ear as he gets himself out of his pants and boxers while he pushes my shirt up to above my chest, showing the matching black bra.

The both of us let out a groan as Tim enters me and starts to thrust, his dick hitting all the right places. After minutes passed, the both of us came and Tim's body moves to his side of the bed as I tell him that was a great gift, making him he let out a soft laugh.

"Glad to be of service," Tim says getting out of bed and putting on clean boxers and pajama pants before he goes to the bathroom to grab a washcloth to clean me up.

After Tim cleaned me up and helped me get dressed, he got back into the bed to pull me into him so we can cuddle.

"Tim?" I said after a moment of silence, causing him to say, "Yeah?"

"I have something for you," I respond before reaching over into my nightstand and pulling out a small box, "I was going to give you this later, but now feels right."

Tim opens the box and pulls out a onesie that says, "My daddy will arrest you if you mess with me."

"Babe, this is perfect for our future baby," Tim responds before he felt his voice stop short when he sees what else is in the box, reaching in to pull out the pregnancy test, "Are you really?"

"Yes, I found out two weeks ago, you're going to be a dad, Tim," I said as Tim pulled me into a tight embrace before kissing the top of my head, "And you're going to be the best dad, I just know it."

"I love you so much," Tim whispers before pulling me into the most loving kiss a girl could ask for.

Tim may have had the worst pick in the dad potluck, but no doubt in my mind he will never treat our children the way Tom treated him and Genny.

The Better, Not So Hidden Half

Part 2 of The Better, Hidden Half

Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!wife!reader

Summary: After Tim decided he didn't want to keep you hidden any longer, you meet the rest of his friends (colleagues, as he prefers), but not the way he planned.

Warnings: depiction of minor injuries (Tim), fluff, grumpy!Tim, Smitty, mentions of drugging

Word Count: 1.9k+ words

Masterlist Directory | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

When Tim was infected by an unknown biological weapon, he told you that he wanted to stop keeping you separate from the rest of his life. You’re his better half, and he cares deeply about you and your safety, but that doesn’t mean you should be his hidden half. During his short stay in the hospital, Wade introduced you to Lucy Chen, Tim’s rookie, and John Nolan. Since then, however, Tim hasn’t done proper introductions or made any real changes. He has started wearing his wedding ring to work, though, rather than leaving it on a chain around your neck. Baby steps, maybe, but it’s progress.

Your phone rings while Tim is at work, and your breaths grow shallow when you see Wade’s name on the screen. The last time something happened to Tim, Angela called you; any time you see Wade Grey, Angela Lopez, or Talia Bishop’s names appear on your phone, your heart drops in fear for your husband.

“Hey, Wade,” you answer softly.

“Can you please come talk some sense into your husband?” he asks.

Wade's tone and accompanying sigh are all you need to hear to know he’s tired. Sirens have surrounded you all day, so you’re not surprised that something happened.

“About what?” you reply.

“Sorry for the surprise call,” he adds, “I know those can be concerning, so I’ll go ahead and tell you that Tim was in a minor accident, but he’s refusing to get looked at.”

“Shocking,” you joke. “I’ll be there soon. How is he?”

Wade begins to answer, but you hear Tim yell, “If I need a break, I will take one!” in the background.

“Sounds about the same as usual,” you say and answer your question. “See you in a few.”

“Thank you. You’re the best honorary cop I’ve got.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere, Sergeant Grey.”

When you walk into the Mid-Wilshire Station, Tim and Wade are nowhere to be seen. You see Angela waiting nearby, and she rushes to hug you after you wave.

“Are you finally here to meet everyone? Since someone decided that he needed to talk to you alone to heal last time?” she asks playfully.

“I’m here because Tim is injured and stubborn,” you answer.

“And he’ll still be injured and stubborn after you meet the boots who can’t stop talking about you.”

“Is he okay?” you whisper.

“He’s fine. Barely injured, I promise.”

You nod and thank her before she leads you toward a small crowd of officers. Talia says hello, and the three in long sleeves stand up straighter when they see you.

“Mrs. Bradford, nice to see you again,” Lucy greets.

“You too, Officer Chen,” you reply.

“Lucy, please.”

“You’ve met Lucy and Nolan – however brief Tim kept it. And this is my rookie, Jackson West,” Angela introduces.

“Nice to meet you,” you offer with your handshake.

“So, you married Bradford?” he asks. “Why?”

You chuckle at the question but can’t answer your cliched answer of because I love him, and he’s really just a big softie under the sarcastic eye rolls and grumpy yelling before Nolan asks another question.

“At the hospital, you said less than five words to Tim, and he listened. No complaining, no hateful looks, just immediately obeyed. How do you do that?” Nolan inquires.

“Wait – how did you meet?” Jackson adds. “Let’s be chronological.”

Nolan nods in agreement, and you prepare to answer.

“Then I want to know your first thought of Tim. Before you met, just saw each other, whatever… what did you see that drew you in?” Lucy asks.

Angela and Bishop smile as your eyes bounce between the rookies and their never-ending questions. You can’t answer one before the next one is asked, and though you don’t feel the same, you can understand why Tim didn’t want you to meet them all at once.

“No!” Lucy exclaims. “Where did Tim propose?”

“The place where they met,” Talia answers.

Nolan turns quickly to yell, “You knew Tim was married! Why didn’t you mention her?”

“She’s not my wife,” Talia replies sarcastically. “Not my story to tell.”

“I would have talked about her because she’s my best friend,” Angela interjects. “But Tim threatened me.”

“Sorry, Mrs. Bradford,” Jackson says. “We’re just excited and shocked and have so many questions.”

“Mrs. Bradford?” a passing officer asks. “You’re too young to be Mom Bradford, and you’re not his sister…”

“I’m Tim’s wife,” you finish.

“This is Smitty,” Angela tells you.

She winks quickly, and you nod in understanding. You’ve heard plenty of stories about Smitty, and more than enough complaints when you’re alone with Tim. He seems unique, to put it lightly (and kinder than Tim does).

“You married Tim Bradford? Was he by any chance in possession of narcotics or mind-altering drugs when you met? Because it’s pretty easy to convince a woman to do something these days, just a little powder in an uncovered drink, you know,” Smitty continues.

“Smitty, have you drugged a woman before?” Nolan asks. His suspicion is evident in how he asks and the narrowing of his eyes.

“Well, Officer Smitty,” you begin. You nod at Angela, and her smile grows when she realizes you plan to play along.

Tim stands with a quiet grunt of pain. He stretches to the side to fight the growing stiffness and sees Lucy talking to a group of people. Smitty approaches the side, and Nolan steps back to reveal the focus of all of the attention. Tim doesn’t think twice and races out of Wade’s office to save you from the boots.

You address Smitty but don’t say anything more before Tim wraps his hand around your arm while the other grips your hip and pulls you backward. Tim moves you away from Angela and ignores the protests that follow your sudden departure. You don’t fight him as he leads you into Wade’s office. Wade looks up and mouths a relieved thank you.

“Tim, as much as I love meeting the people you pretend not to care about, would you please stop getting hurt and giving me an excuse to drop by unannounced?” you ask.

“I didn’t get hurt,” Tim argues.

His hands are still on you, so you turn in his hold to look at him. Several scrapes litter his left cheek, and you run a gentle finger under them. You can see that his shoulders are tense but you're grateful that his injuries seem to be limited to some stiffness and scrapes.

“What did Wade tell you?” Tim whispers.

“That you were being stubborn and not listening,” Wade mumbles behind you. “I’m surprised she believed me.”

Tim keeps his eyes on you but doesn’t comment further on his injuries or the rookies you just met. He looks down, and you follow his eyes to his hands. His left hand is wrapped tightly with gauze and bandages as he slides his right hand into his pocket.

“Had to take this off,” he tells you.

You extend your hand to accept his wedding ring and curl your fingers around it. After unhooking your necklace chain, you slide his ring on and keep it safe against your chest. Tim nods once it’s secure with you and pulls you to sit beside him. You lay a hand against his right cheek and smile as he leans against your hand. He leans in and kisses you quickly before glancing at Wade to ensure he isn’t watching.

“He’s seen us kiss before,” you remind Tim.

“And I will never let you forget it,” Wade agrees, focusing on the paperwork before him.

“No mind-altering drugs required,” Tim says with a small smile.

“Now I understand why you didn’t want me to meet Smitty.”

“I warned you.”

“Luckily, Angela introduced me to the rookies first, and I invited them over for dinner on Sunday. Wade, you and Luna are welcome to come, too, if you’d like,” you say.

Tim groans as Wade promises to pass the invitation on to Luna. You sit back carefully as Tim leans against you. He’s grumpy about your new connection with the boots but loves you. Tim meant it when he said he didn’t want to keep you hidden and risk wasting his life by separating from everything else that matters to him.

“Lucy won’t shut up,” he realizes with a dramatic sigh.

“Yeah, because I’m sure you carry half of the conversation as it is,” you tease. “Don’t forget how well I know you, Bradford.”

“As long as you don’t forget that I don’t like these people, Bradford,” Tim counters.

“You let Angela come over all the time. And don’t give me the whole ‘she scares me’ thing; you love her.”

Tim moves closer to you to whisper, “I love you more.”

“Then go get a full physical examination. Make sure all the handsomeness is still put together like it’s supposed to be.”

“I don’t need to.”

“Then maybe you don’t love me like you claim to. That’s why you leave your ring with me, right? Easier to bring women in when no one knows you’re married.”

Wade fails to hide a laugh before he covers it with a fake cough. Tim shakes his head but kisses you again before standing. You follow him to the door and thank Wade for the call. Tim waves everyone over, and Lucy beats the rest of them by a solid three seconds.

“Hi again,” she tells you.

“I’ll go see the medic if you rescind the dinner offer,” Tim tells you.

“You’ll go see the medic either way, so no,” you reply.

“We’ve decided a better way to ask questions, and we’ll give you time to breathe in the future,” Jackson says. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay, Jackson. I understand the excitement; not the shock because, I mean, look at him," you wave toward Tim and continue, "but it’s not every day that you meet Officer Grumpy’s secret wife.”

“Did you just gesture to me like I’m a game show prize?” Tim murmurs.

“Tim and I will be happy to answer all your questions at dinner. It was very nice to meet all of you, and if Smitty asks again, I was absolutely drugged.”

Tim drags you away once again, and Angela only hears him ask, “Officer Grumpy?” before the door closes behind you both.

You turn and place a hand under Tim’s chin. One touch, a smile, and a kiss turn Tim back into your loving husband. He didn’t realize that keeping you separate from his work life gave you a unique power over him because he’s never had to hide his love for you or the physical affection he’s grown to crave.

“Be careful,” you request softly. “And call me if they find any other injuries.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Tim answers.

“Don’t,” you warn.

“You kissed me first.”

“Thanks for letting me be part of your life, Tim.” He nods and kisses you slowly, but you push him away to warn him, “Ask Angela to tell you about Smitty before he says anything about our relationship.”

“You talked to Smitty, too? Maybe I should start leaving you at home again.”

“I love you,” you call over your shoulder.

“I love you,” Tim replies.

He walks back into the station with two things on his mind: learning what Smitty thinks about you and Tim that was worth a warning and getting home to you. Your touch, kiss, and the soft return of his ring will always be the best part of Tim’s day, and even though he wears his ring more often now, you still pull him in because he needs you more than he’s ever needed the ring.

sanji and zoro teaching each other how to fuck you (pt 1)

18+ ACCOUNT/CONTENT SO MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

warnings: exhibitionism, p in v, afab reader!, they/them pronouns degradation from zoro but LOTS of praise from sanji lol, breeding kink if you squint, men whimpering yeahhhhhhh, feminine pet names

zoro grumbles as he slowly pumps his fingers in and out of you, eyes focused on the way your lips part in soft gasps with every stroke. "slower. not too much, now." "shut up." zoro hisses at sanji, glaring over at the cook sitting in a lounge chair only a step away from the bed where zoro is currently fingering you. "they like it when you take your time. don't you, beautiful?" sanji says, the first part coming out like poison when he addresses zoro before smiling over at you like you're the most stunning thing he's seen in years. you weren't used to the swordsman being like this, fingering you and prepping you for as long as humanly possible; sanji was the one to do that and he was good at it too. but unlike him, zoro's fingers were thick, calloused from years of work and you were secretly enjoying it more than you ever thought you would.

you can only whine in response to sanji's praise, jolting when zoro hits a certain spot in you. "alright, that's enough. lay them on their back." much to your surprise, zoro doesn't try to resist sanji's command. before you know it, he's pushing into you at a slow but delicious pace that has your legs shaking around his waist. "just a little faster. thaaat's it." sanji says with a soft groan of his own, biting his lip as he watches the way soft moans leave you and your back arches off the bed. you turn to look over at sanji as best as you can, a shudder running down your spine at the obvious hard-on the cook has. "p-please, sanji, closee.." sanji coos at that, leaning over to cup your chin in one of his hands as more soft gasps escape you. "cum for me, cherie." he whispers against your lips, immediately pressing his lips to yours when you reach out a hand to tug on his hair.

he moans almost in unison with you when you finally feel the coil in you coming undone, whining and moaning against sanji's lips as quiet grunts leave zoro on top of you. he presses his hips flush against yours (just like sanji had instructed) when he cums only seconds after you, your legs snugly wrapped around his waist and shuddering at the pleasant full feeling. there's a moment of soft pants and moans between the two of you as zoro buries his face in the crook of your neck. "tell her how beautiful she is, that you love the way she feels-" "i'm not doing that."

FIRST POST ON THE SIDE ACCOUNT LETS GO

Creepy, But Special

Requested Here!

Pairing: Tim Bradford x goth!fem!ME!reader

Summary: Tim sees a woman in a cemetery after dark and can't stop thinking about you. When he calls for the M.E. and you arrive, he gets a chance to find out more about you.

Warnings: spoilers for 5x22, r is an ME and performs an autopsy, mentions of past judgement and insults, fluff, Tim gets kinda flirty even while there's a dead body between them?

Word Count: 2.5k+ words

A/N: The request said shy reader, but she's pretty open with Tim so I didn't include it in the pairing dynamic. R is very professional with the other characters, though, so that could be considered shy, I think. And, as always, ignore the Chenford gif🤭

Masterlist | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

“Kojo, c’mon,” Tim urges as Kojo tugs the leash away from Tim.

Kojo has been taking his time on this walk, more of a stroll to sniff everything than a walk, but Tim is ready to get home. When Kojo returns to Tim’s side and begins trotting again, Tim rewards him with a whispered compliment: “There’s the best boy.”

As they near a cemetery, however, a cat meows inside the open gate, causing Kojo to stop again. Tim shakes his head but watches Kojo as his ears perk, and he looks into the narrow gate opening.

“No, Bazinga,” someone says from inside the fence. The cat meows again, and this time the voice - pretty voice, Tim’s mind corrects – laughs. “How are you going to do a séance if you can’t talk, Bazinga?”

Tim and Kojo step to the inside edge of the sidewalk for a better view. Tim should know better than to let his guard down here, but when he realized that the creepy cemetery cat had supervision, he needed to know more. Standing at the fence, he can see a gray blanket spread across a small clearing. You’re sitting on the blanket with a large book open across your lap. A black cat, Bazinga, presumably, roams around you before jumping onto your shoulder.

Tim can’t help but be intrigued by you. He can tell you're young in the dim light of a nearby streetlight. While he’s simultaneously drawn to you and put off by your odd choice about where you relax, Tim lets his logic win and snaps for Kojo to heel beside him. With one final glance at you, Tim leaves you in the dark but remembers your voice long after you ask your cat, “What do you think about the black cat stereotype and how well you fit into it?”

When Tim wakes the following morning, his first thought is you. Part of him wonders if he imagined you, a young woman dressed in black reading in a cemetery in the middle of the night, yet he can’t get you off his mind even as he rises and gets ready for work. Now that overtime has been approved, he has to focus on catching the masked individuals who attacked Aaron and Celina just hours after he saw you.

Once he hears Aaron and Celina’s statuses, it’s easier to forget you and your cat. When they find Roy Gracco and prepare to enter his house, Tim doesn’t even remember his previous cemetery-side walk.

Tim leads the alpha team into Gracco’s home, prepared for anything, but is surprised to find the house clear and cold.

“Drop the gun! Drop it!” he demands as he rounds a corner.

“I think he’s dead,” Nolan calls.

Tim approaches him slowly and confirms that Gracco is dead, 10-5-5.

“It’s a trap,” Nolan realizes aloud.

“Abort! Abort! Abort!” Tim yells. As he exits Gracco’s house, he radios, “Control, I need the bomb squad to the target house for a full sweep. Send the M.E. and TID out here, standing by for a priority search once the house is clear.”

“Yep, got it,” you reply to the police dispatcher.

Your work phone buzzes with a message containing the address where you’re needed. The van is prepped and ready to go, so you only grab your phone, keys, and seal-wrapped black coveralls. When you arrive at the house, dozens of police officers, crime scene investigators, and city officials are waiting.

“Sergeant Grey?” you ask as you approach him. “Has the house been cleared?”

“Almost. Bomb squad’s doing a final walk-through,” he answers. “The officers who found the body are inside and ready to assist you.”

“Dispatch said the air had been cranked down to delay decomp. Do you know if anyone touched the thermostat?”

“No. Sergeant Bradford made sure the house stayed in the same condition as how they found it.”

“Perfect.”

“All clear,” one of the bomb squad members calls as he exits. “Your people are free to enter.”

“Hold up,” Grey calls to TID. “Let the M.E. get what she needs first.”

“Thank you,” you call over your shoulder as you approach the front door.

“Hi, I’m Officer Chen,” an officer greets you as you enter. “Bradford, M.E.’s here.”

“Sergeant Bradford, I hear you preserved the scene and the body. Thanks,” you tell him as you set your bag down.

Tim doesn’t reply, too intrigued that you, a woman who hangs out in cemeteries with her black cat, is the M.E. That and your age, to be more precise.

“What’s the temperature in here?” you ask, looking up at him.

“Fifty-eight,” he answers quickly, shaking himself out of his thoughts and reminding himself not to stare.

“Fifty-eight,” you murmur as you scribble something on your paper. “Then I’m putting time of death between 1 and 2 a.m.”

“Before Aaron and Celina were ambushed,” Lucy says.

“How can you limit it to an hour?” Tim asks. Not because he’s overly interested in your method but because everything you say and do interests him. He wants to hear you talk again. To him, preferably.

“The air temperature and confinement slowed decomp but also affected the blood coagulation. Because of that, and knowing the average maintained temperature since death, I can calculate it with a bit more accuracy,” you explain.

Tim nods and looks at Lucy, who seems to know why he took a sudden interest in forensic science. He has a dozen more questions he’d like to ask you, very few of which are about the case, but you frighten Tim Bradford just enough that he falls silent to let you work.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” you say suddenly.

“Is everything okay?” Tim asks.

“Yeah, just this little guy.” You straighten and extend your hand to show Tim a moderately large spider. “There’s a web in that windowsill, he must have been confused by the temperature drop.”

You cup your hand as you walk toward the window and gently place the spider back on its web. Tim watches every little move you make, trying not to be convinced that you were in a cemetery and are still dressed in black merely because you’re creepy.

“So, based on positioning, lividity, and blood coagulation around the wound in his hand, I’m confident that my estimate of 1 to 2 a.m. today is accurate. More, I’d say that he was unconscious when both the bullets and the knife entered his body. There’s no sign of jerking or resisting, and the stiffness in his spine suggests that he’s been positioned like this for closer to a day.”

“A day?” Tim repeats. “How could he be in one position for nearly ten hours before being shot and stabbed?”

“Was he alive when he was stabbed?” Lucy inquires.

“Yes,” you answer her. “He didn’t react in any way to that pain and the lack of naturally dried blood around the wound, so he was likely already in a state of statis. His heart rate was likely low, the temperature was impeding the healing process, and, as I’m sure you know, bullet wounds don’t close on their own.”

“Then why lead us here?” Tim wonders.

“This is related to the cops that were attacked this morning?” you ask. “I heard about the riddle.”

“Is there anything else you can tell us?” Tim asks.

“I don’t think you’ll find much in this house other than him.”

“I agree.”

“If Gracco is a patsy,” Lucy interjects, “then we should be asking why him?”

“He’s a felon with a history at Mid-Wilshire,” Grey answers as he walks in.

“Sure, but there are hundreds of guys like that. So, why Gracco? Did they pull his name out of a database or is there some kind of connection?”

“You think it’s personal?” Tim asks.

“Look, if I was gonna go to the extreme of targeting police officers, why not take out some of my enemies along the way?”

“That’s gotta count as a goth point,” you murmur.

“Costs us nothing to run with that,” Grey points out. “Get back to the station, check Gracco’s known associates, family, coworkers, anyone he did time with that might hold a grudge. Run them against people that we arrested. And say a prayer while you’re at it.”

“Actually, Grey, can I escort the M.E.?” Tim asks.

You look up from your spot on the floor, and Tim looks away quickly because he suddenly thinks that in that position, you look like a cat.

“Do that,” Grey agrees. “We don’t know what we’re dealing with. Chen, Nolan and Harper are at the station and ready to assist you.”

“Yes, sir,” Lucy replies as she exits.

“Why do I need an escort?” you ask once you’re alone with Tim.

“Because we don’t know what we’re up against and I don’t want to find out the hard way that we’re closer than we think,” he answers.

You nod as you stand, then remind Tim that you have to prepare the body to take back to the morgue. He nods and steps aside, hands clasped, happy to watch you.

“Got it,” Tim says into his phone. “Pine’s got Metro mobilized; do you need me to come back?”

You pull your gloves on as Tim ends his call. He steps toward you and says, “I’m clear to stay with you.”

“Why?” you ask.

“All of our bases are covered. So, if you find something, we need to know.”

You shrug as you concede. It’s not that you don’t want Tim with you; you are confused about why a decorated Metro Sergeant would want to keep you company while you perform an autopsy.

“If you want a mask or anything, they’re in the black case behind you,” you tell him.

“Of course it’s black,” Tim muses.

“Meaning?” you inquire as you mark your incision points.

When you look toward him, Tim gestures to your outfit. You certainly don’t dress like other medical examiners. Or act like them, for that matter.

“What do you have against black?” you tease. “Or are you just jealous of the Converse?”

Tim smiles as he tips his head and replies, “I would rock some studded black Converse, right?”

“Totally. I’ll hook you up with my shoe guy. He might want to see you in the heeled version first, though.”

“So, why’d you become a medical examiner?” Tim asks as you begin the first cut in Gracco’s chest.

“What do you think?”

“Love for science?” Tim guesses.

You lift the scalpel and narrow your eyes at Tim. “Most people just assume I’d like to dig around in dead people.”

“Why? Because you wear black and pick up spiders?”

“Amongst other things.”

“What other things?”

You shake your head and argue, “You have to tell me something about you first.”

“I like the Dodgers.”

“Wow,” you drawl. “Mark me as shocked and surprised.”

“I’m a cop, there isn’t much time to do things worth telling.”

“Fine, I’ll go first but you better have something when I’m done.”

“Yeah, of course. Just, one more thing. How old are you?”

“Twenty-seven. Don’t you dare say oh, you look older, or wow, you must be smart, I really can’t take hearing that again.”

“I didn’t think you must be smart. You clearly are,” Tim replies.

“Good answer. You still want to know about me?”

Tim nods, and you tip your chin down to continue the autopsy as you speak.

“So, you can tell that I like black and spiders… I feel most alive in the fall, Halloween is my favorite day of the year. And cats! They’re much better than spiders because you can watch horror movies and Beetlejuice with them, and birds bring out their violent sides. But cats will also read witch books with you and listen to music, hang out in cemeteries. All the stuff that gets you labeled a ‘creepy weirdo’ is more fun with a cat.”

“Has someone called you a creepy weirdo?” Tim questions.

“More times than I can count. But I have another list that’s longer.”

“A list of what?”

“The coolest tattoos I’ve ever seen.”

Tim hesitates before he asks, “On dead people?”

“Some,” you admit honestly. “Most of them are on live people, though. They’re not as cool when the skin underneath isn’t moving or filled with blood.”

“Interesting.”

“Is this where you call me a creepy weirdo?” Tim shakes his head, and you add, “I guess I’ve just always felt drawn to stuff like that, and it makes me happy, so why should I care what people say about that?”

Tim leans against a table across the morgue from you as you continue to work. He asks a few questions as you work, but the autopsy is as simple as expected. Gracco was killed. There’s no additional evidence about who killed him or why, and his body is relatively clean and well-preserved.

“Sorry I couldn’t be more help,” you tell Tim as you discard your gloves. “If it was a full moon I may have been more help.”

“Because you like full moons, I assume.”

“It was actually a weak werewolf joke, but yes, I do.”

“Does Bazinga?”

You freeze beside Tim before you look up at him to ask, “How do you know my cat’s name?”

“You said it,” Tim answers.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Not today, uh… I saw you in a cemetery a few nights ago.”

“I knew there was someone out there! Bazinga thought it was a ghost.”

Tim nods, unsure of how to keep the conversation going. You both want to keep talking, but there’s something Tim can’t ask, and you aren’t sure you can answer. So, you trace the shape of a crescent moon on your wrist to encourage yourself.

“Will you go out with me?” you ask quickly.

Tim opens his mouth to answer, but you add, “You don’t have to! If I’m misreading this or you’re just being nice and really do think I’m crazy, I understand.”

“I’d love to,” Tim answers when you fall quiet. “Maybe Kojo and I could join your next cemetery picnic.”

“You don’t think that’s creepy?”

“Really creepy,” Tim answers dramatically. “But you like it, so I’d like to see why.”

“What’s your shoe size? I’ll bring you some black Converse.”

“With studs?”

“Wouldn’t you be the stud?”

Tim laughs as he follows you into your office, but his phone rings with an update from Sergeant Grey and he quickly exchanges numbers with you before he leaves. Later, you remember that you never asked who Kojo was, and the picture Tim texts in return to your question makes you smile in your lonely office.

“How nervous are you?” you ask as Tim and Kojo meet you outside the cemetery.

“Probably not as much as I should be,” Tim answers with a smile. “Just don’t tell me we’re eating with someone, uh, someone in there.”

“No, of course not.” You open the gate and joke, “We’ll ease into that.”

“Where’s Bazinga?”

“Bazinga is a cat. In the picnic basket.”

You help Tim spread your favorite blanket on the grass and join him and Kojo as you set the food out. Tim watches you and realizes you’ve never been creepy, scary, or a weirdo. You’re special and if this spot beside you has been left open for him by people underestimating or judging you, he’ll make sure you know how special you are.

Besties Get Banged (part2)

⟢Angel Dust x PornstarReader - Besties get Banged smut💦

Part 1 ꒰აMaleReader ✧ FemaleReader໒꒱ Part 2 ꒰აMaleReader ✧ FemaleReader໒꒱

Val leaves set and Angel offers the sofa of his dressing room to continue what you started.

「warnings/promises: Angel x FemaleReader , vaginal creampie, quick fuck, kisses, cuddles」

same story as male reader; just different bits and bobbles

minors dni 🧯

Angel’s hand slipped into yours as soon as Val was called off set. You two had been corrected for your behavior by the overlord, but luckily his square headed prince needed him.

“Ya know, I have a private dressin’ room.” Angel’s fingers tugged your hand, “With a sofa.”

The benefit of so many arms was how easily he could close the door, lock it, and pull open both of your robes all while you struggled to shake off your slippers.

His mouth left yours as he gently pushed you back toward the purple chaise lounge near the balcony door, “You whole?” 

A common question amongst Val’s employees, especially those who found comfort in each other after his abusive power trips. Not are you hurt, that implies just physical harm. Not are you okay, you can be okay and not be okay. You understood very well what he was asking, are you mentally and physically comfortable to continue?

You nodded, “Yeah, you?”

“He doesn’t get to me as badly anymore,” two hands on your face, two on your hips. Ah, you wish you could touch him more, with as many hands as he had soft places to caress. Angel lowered you, lithe body coming to rest on yours as his hips began moving against your naked core. Soft cock slowly growing against your skin, lube and slick being rubbed into your folds by his ministrations.

As soon as he was hard enough to enter you, he did. The sigh he made, the weakness that came over his face as he sunk into your tight but welcoming cunt made you shudder. A streak of electricity traveling from your spine down and forward to your clit.

Angel wasted no time in finishing the fucking he had been dreaming of just an hour earlier. His arms came down, fingers exploring your valleys and your peaks. Hungry for your affection, for the tenderness he so desperately needed, his mouth crashed into your cheek. Sloppy, happily unprofessional, he kissed and licked his way to your mouth, already open and waiting to receive him. 

He tasted like candy on your tongue, sweet and melting. Every gasp and moan he gave you he then greedily swallowed. 

“Shit, close,” he whined, “Already”. He found your hands with his, pulling them and you up as he leaned back. Two hands cupped your ass and lifted you onto his now seated lap. Your legs came around his waist, your measly two arms wrapped around his neck as you held tightly. Small but strong, he pistoned himself up into your heat while those hands did the work of you riding his swelling cock. 

He pulled you in for another kiss, lips pressing into yours with no rhythm or goal as he tried to bring you over the climax together. While he spent most of his time with dicks, literally and figuratively, he understood the focused wind up a female orgasm could need.

Your hand came between your bodies, trying to meet him at the edge. Eyes shut, you focused on the place where he was in you, the heat and the stiffness of his arousal for you. As he whispered, “so close” and whined, “baby” into your ear with gasped breaths, you thought about your pussy wringing Angel Dust dry and quickly reached your orgasm. 

“Me too,” was all you could manage as your teeth clenched and head came down onto his shoulder.

Angel continued to move you on and off his dick as he rode out his climax. Your walls contracting around him, milking him like your body had been designed to do it. A feeling he wasn’t wholly used to, definitely not for free and off camera, he pulled you down and held you there to linger in the sensation.

“Too deep,” you wiggled, slightly painful pressure as his still engorged head was now threatening to slip past your cervix. 

“Sorry” he smiled, “not used to, ya know, some of this stuff.”

Valid. There was a lot more stuff than he was used to thinking about. Especially at work.

He eased up his grip, letting you lift enough to relax. 

Slippery and hot, you stayed stuck together for an unknown amount of time. His mouth kept finding its way back to you, lazy but content kisses peppered across pink cheeks and flush lips. 

Rarely he could be held so gently while sober, so he took his time in enjoying your tenderness. Four arms wrapped around you and pulled your head into that fluff on his chest, “Val’s not gonna let us work together again.” He said it matter of factly.

You sucked in through your teeth, “Yeeeeeah… I’ll probably get canned.”

Angel pursed his lips, “Well, I know a solution to both problems.” He pulled back, beaming down at you, “A place with free rent where yous can easily see me anytime we want. How do ya feel about group activities?”

༻Masterlist༺

∰ Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult (general tag list):

@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @wettiny-in-smutland , @moonmark98 , @hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain , @harley2223-blog , @coffee-colored-hopeless-romantic , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima , @ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby , @dontfuckbutimfab , @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12 , @star-kujo-platinum ,

@ivebeenthearchersstuffn, @rubyninja1 , @simphornies , @alleystore , @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog , @thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies , @howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf , @ive-no-idea-what-to-call-this , @fizzled-phoenix , @fjorjestertealeaf , @phobophobular , @surusurusuru , @mariaclarade-la-cruz1 , @whateverlololo , @simplyonehellofanotaku , @xixflower , @i-am-nonbinary-bean-deal-with-it , @roxxie-wolf , @a-case-of-attachment , @multifandomfanatic02 , @watereddownmilk , @raynerrold , @crazii-saber-wolf , @valkyrie-expeditions , @bontensbabygirl , @sillyb0nez , @oo0lady-mad0oo , @jazzmasternot , @pseudobun , @fraugwinska✨, @alitaar , @straows , @alastorssimp , @angelicwillows , @b-o-n-e-daddy , @one-and-only-tay , @asleeponelmstreet , @tremendoushearttaco , @mutifandomkid , @sapphirecaelis , @itzzzkiramylove  @saccharine-nectarine , @viannasthings

@looking1016 , @ultimate-duck-king-lucifer , @blakeaha , @astraechos , @sailorsmouth ,

@jeannyjaykaydeh , @jyoongim , @cosmic-lavender , @saturn-alone , @lustylita , @radio-darling

Being Replaced

The Bradfords Series Masterlist (5/?)

Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!wife!cop!reader

Summary: During your yearly physical, your doctor brings up a surprising series of questions. You take several tests, and as you continue policing, you forget to tell Tim about what you're waiting to find out. When Lucy overhears your conversation, she wants to know everything.

Warnings: discussions of pregnancy/menstrual cycles + symptoms, fluff, brief angst, banter, protective!Tim

Word Count: 3.0k+ words

Tim sighs when Lucy slows on their way to the shop.

“What are you looking for?” he inquires.

“Mom,” she answers. “Where is she? I didn’t see her during roll call.”

“She’ll be here later. Let’s go, boot.”

“Why isn’t she here now?”

“Why are you still asking questions instead of getting in the shop?” Tim counters, his patience wearing thin. “Now, Chen.”

Lucy looks around once more, then leads Tim to the garage. As she sits in the passenger seat, she considers texting you. She notices Tim’s relaxed grip on the steering wheel and decides that you must be okay. If there was something wrong, Tim would show it even if he denied it. When you get to work later today, Lucy will ask you herself.

“The guy that robbed my apartment is going to trial this week,” Lucy says. “Prosecutor said he has over a dozen people testifying.”

Tim shakes his head slightly and raises his fingers from the steering wheel. “Why do I need to know that?”

“It’s called sharing. When two people care about each other-“

“Stop.”

“But, I-“

“Stop.”

Tim looks at Lucy as dispatch alerts them of a nearby call, and she changes the subject to focus on the matter at hand.

While Tim and Lucy deescalate a fight at a high-end cookware store and take details from the employees about the preceding robbery, you flip through a magazine. Stopping at a page with a ‘Couple Compatibility Test,’ you roll your eyes. The magazines in the waiting room are well over a decade old, yet you read the first question and smile. You and Tim would undoubtedly fail one of these tests, but you’ve already proved to be great together. A few pages later, someone calls your name, and you abandon the magazine to follow a nurse’s assistant into the heart of the doctor’s office.

You get weighed, your height is checked, and then you sit patiently as your temperature, pulse, oxygen levels, and blood pressure are measured. After thanking the assistant, you sit alone on the examination table to wait for the doctor. Nothing is wrong; you’re just here for a yearly check-up and physical, yet you’re hit suddenly by a feeling that something unexpected is coming.

“Whoa, this is nice!” Lucy exclaims as she runs her fingers over the lid of a Dutch oven.

“It’s one of our best sellers,” an employee interjects. “Luckily this stuff is heavy so the thief couldn’t have gotten away with much.”

Tim ignores their conversation to look around the store. By the seasonal sale display at the front, he looks out the window and sighs. “They could if they had a vehicle parked outside.”

“What?” Lucy asks, moving toward Tim. “How did they do that without opening the door more than once? This is a state-of-the-art security system.”

“Is that what they said?” he asks quietly. “The sensor on this door can be tricked with a magnet. That’s why the alarm wasn’t responded to, I’d guess. Short enough disruption that the dispatchers figured it was a false alarm.”

“Officers?” the second (and more helpful) employee calls. “I have a list of the missing items.”

Tim takes the printed sheet of paper and reads the first few items before looking to the bottom. “15 items worth $4,000. Is that before tax?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Is that important?” Lucy asks.

“Only if they try to resell it.” He turns to the employees to explain that several detectives are on their way and will have many of the same questions and need the same list.

“Call if you need anything else,” Lucy urges them, leaving her card on the counter.

Tim stops outside the door and looks at the tire marks on the concrete. He straightens and follows them until they lighten and disappear around a corner.

“The merchandise was transferred somewhere near here, or to a larger vehicle. Whatever cart they had all that stuff in to begin with was weighed down,” Tim tells Lucy. “Let the detectives know.”

“Overall, you’re very healthy,” your doctor says after her exam. “There are a few questions I’d like to ask. Have you noticed any swelling or bloating in your abdomen?”

“A bit,” you admit.

“Missing or late periods?”

“I’m about a week and a half late. It’s happened before, my gyno said it was nothing to worry about.”

“Okay. And, last one, have you experienced any nausea or vomiting? Especially any occurring around the same time as the swelling?”

“There have been a few mornings I’ve been really nauseous, but I haven’t actually gotten sick.”

She nods as she jots a few notes on her tablet. After a moment, she asks, “Are you going to work today?”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m supposed to be there in about twenty minutes actually.”

Setting the tablet aside, she leans forward and rests her elbows on her legs. “I want to run a pregnancy test. I’m not thoroughly convinced you are or even could be pregnant, but I’m also not willing to say you’re completely in line with last year’s physical based on some of those symptoms. Unfortunately, we can’t get it all done before you need to leave.”

“I…” You trail off, trying to process what she’s telling you. You don’t feel pregnant, but now that you think about the swelling, the nausea, and the other changes you’ve experienced, you don’t know what to think. “Could I call later to get the results?”

“That is an excellent idea.” She calls a nurse into the room and instructs her to prepare a pregnancy test. “I’m going to give you my cell number,” she tells you. “Whenever you have time, whether it’s today, tonight, or tomorrow, give me a call and I’ll go over the results with you. When’s the last time you ate or drank?”

“About eight hours ago because my shifts were oddly spaced this week,” you remember.

“In that case, I’d like to run a blood test to check your hormone levels as well. We’ll get you out of here in less than ten minutes. Do you have any other questions for me?”

“No. Thank you,” you reply.

In the empty room, you stare at the wall and try to think but don’t come up with anything before the nurse returns to give you directions.

“What’s up with your boot?” Angela asks, sitting across from Tim at their favorite food truck. Tim mumbles an answer, to which she raises her brows.

“She misses my wife,” Tim says. “Has been asking about her all day.”

“Where is she?” Angela inquires.

Tim groans, but he’s saved by Lucy yelling your name. Tim looks up, but you’re locked in conversation with Bishop. She lays her hand on your upper arm, and after a moment, you smile and nod. She walks past you and toward her shop as you move farther into the circle of food trucks.

“Hello,” you greet as you approach your fellow officers. “Nolan, you’re with me for the rest of shift.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he replies.

“I think you and Bishop planned this,” Angela muses.

“We absolutely did,” you answer with a smile. “Her appointment got changed last week.”

“Appointment for what?” Lucy asks.

“Yearly physical. We got them on the same day in year one, so we tend to go around the same time every year.”

“Oh, that’s where you’ve been. Dad wouldn’t tell me.”

“Dad?” Angela repeats with a brow raised.

“It’s because they argue like parents,” Jackson explains. Tim turns to glare at him, so Jackson raises his hands and defends, “We all know it; don’t shoot the messenger.”

“You let your boot call you Dad, Timothy?”

Tim turns his glare to you, but his brows drop momentarily. He can read you well – too well. You send him a small smile to communicate that you’re okay. Tim is your husband and is possibly going to become a father soon, so you need to tell him. But something makes you pause.

“She’s persistent,” you answer for Tim. “And he cares.”

“He loves me,” Lucy agrees.

Tim pulls his eyes from you but can’t berate Lucy before a speeding car drives by with several people screaming in the trunk. Everyone at the table jumps up and runs to their respective shop. You completely forget that you may be carrying precious cargo.

“Where’s Officer Bradford?” Tim asks Nolan as he and Lucy enter the station.

Nolan points to a nearby hallway, and Lucy begins talking to him about the car chase. Tim follows Nolan’s direction to find you. He slows when he hears your voice, then stops.

“Hi,” you greet before saying your name and providing your phone number. “Sorry for calling late, but I had some time and wanted to ask about the results of the pregnancy and blood tests. If you can give me a call back when you have some time, I’d appreciate it. Thank you.”

You turn, then freeze at the sight of a wide-eyed Tim Bradford. Your mouth opens, but words fail you.

“I should have told you,” you begin.

“You’re pregnant?” he exclaims, finally moving closer to you.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t- but you could be?”

“Well, I didn’t think so, but then the doctor started asking all of these questions and I answered them and apparently that made her think I could be. Honestly, Tim, if I thought I was, you would’ve been the first person I talked to, you know that.”

“Why’d you get a blood test?” he asks.

“Hormone levels.”

Tim nods, then takes your hand. “Do you want to be pregnant?”

“I want to have kids with you, someday, but… Don’t you think I would have felt something? If I’m pregnant and had no idea, what kind of mother would I be?”

Tim presses his lips together, then says, “I don’t think that’s how it works.”

His lips quirk up at the corners, and you laugh. Falling forward against his chest, you complain, “And you’re the expert on human reproduction.”

“I’m getting pretty good at understanding you, I think.”

“Bradford!” Wade calls. He sees your hand slide off of Tim’s waist, and though he can’t see you, adds, “And Bradford, Metro got ambushed looking for your thief from this morning. We need you in the bullpen. Now.”

“You can sit this one out,” Tim says softly.

You shake your head and say, “I’m not leaving. We- when we find out, we’ll go from there.”

Tim hesitates, then nods and follows you to the bullpen.

Tim hovers. Since you started dating, you have known that he’s protective, caring, and doting when no one is looking, but this is different. Even the mere idea that you could be carrying his baby makes him move closer to you. He keeps his arm within inches of you, and his hand seems to be halfway to your stomach. As you receive instructions for extracting the Metro team, you struggle to keep your attention off of Tim and how much you love him.

“Officer Bradford,” Wade says. “Bradfords, actually, I want you two guarding the southern exit. This warehouse is laid out in a split-level configuration, so the only door on the south side has a second-floor exit. Metal grate stairs lead up to the door, and that’s where we need your cover.”

“Yes, sir,” you reply.

Tim glances at you, then nods. He doesn’t want you working this specific job, you’re sure, but an entire team of your friends, your brothers, and sisters in arms, are in danger; you’re not going to leave them there for a restless night of sleep, not knowing if you’re pregnant or not while Tim puts himself in danger.

You glance at the wire hanging from the earpiece tucked carefully into your ear. With your hair pulled out of its usual hairstyle and secured away from your face and off your neck, you resist the urge to fan yourself. Los Angeles isn’t always hot like some people think, but it’s a warm night, and the disturbing heat radiating from the metal wall beside you has the potential to make you miserable.

“Watch your step,” Tim requests quietly.

You slow several steps from the second-floor door and glance over your shoulder. “The landing isn’t big enough for one of us to stand and the door to open.”

Tim moves to the step behind you, his chest pressed against your back as he looks at the top of the stairs. “If someone walks out, grab the closest body part and throw them.”

“Where?” you ask, your brows raised dramatically.

“Over the rail, down to me, I don’t care, but don’t give them time to grab you or raise a weapon.”

“Is this how Lucy feels all the time?” you muse, turning to face the building.

“Car approaching from the west,” Angela alerts in your earpiece.

“Thermal scans show at least a dozen people inside,” a SWAT officer announces. “Two are moving south.”

“Be careful,” Tim tells you as you move your foot to the top step.

The door opens, and you grab the unsuspecting man’s arm and pull forward, twisting your hips as he trips down the steps. He extends his arms to catch his fall, and his gun slips through the grate before his wrists shatter on impact. His strangled scream of pain is silenced when his face meets the metal step beneath him. Unconscious, he slides down a step and stops at Tim’s feet.

Tim looks at him, then back up at you. He raises a finger to remind you that there’s one more. Watching the door, you see it begin to open before it clicks closed again. You wrap your fingers around the handle while Tim handcuffs the unconscious gunman behind you. Pulling the door open, you don’t hear Tim’s warning hiss.

There’s no one inside, so you let the door close again. Less than thirty seconds later, the door opens again, but you’re too close, and only an arm exits. You’re pulled inside as Tim moves his hands up the rails. The door locks behind you, but Tim jumps over the man on the stairs and radios to alert other officers of your entry. Kneeling on the top step, he shoots up through the lock to ensure he can’t accidentally hit you if you’re still standing by the door, then rushes in, his gun raised.

Simultaneously, three different SWAT teams enter the warehouse and begin yelling demands. Tim lowers his gun and looks at you, standing above the man who pulled you inside.

“I told you to stay back from the door,” Tim says.

“Well, I couldn’t pull him through a half-closed door, could I?” you counter.

Tim sighs, then pulls you against his chest and hugs you tightly. It’s quick, and he steps back before you can get your hands around his waist. As officers rush up the stairs to assist you, someone alerts you that there’s one missing suspect.

“My car’s close,” Tim tells you. “Let’s go find this guy and go home.”

Tim’s plan to get home quickly doesn’t work, and the sun is rising over Los Angeles when you finally hear that the last suspect has been taken into custody. Dropping your head back against the headrest, you sigh. A moment later, your phone rings.

“It’s the doctor,” you tell Tim.

He pulls over in an industrial area and shifts into Park. You tap your screen to answer the call and put the phone on speaker before you greet your doctor.

“Good morning, I hope I didn’t wake you,” she says.

“No, ma’am, you didn’t,” you assure her.

“Alright, well, first, sorry I missed your call last night. And, most importantly, I have your tests back. The short answer is that you are not pregnant.”

Tim takes your hand, and you squeeze his fingers.

“In my opinion, you’re experiencing a pseudopregnancy,” she explains. “Following your most recent ovulation, your prolactin levels remained elevated while your progesterone took a dramatic dip. I’d also guess that some of the emotional difficulties of your jobs played a role in causing the false pregnancy. That combination of psychological and hormonal factors likely contributed to your symptoms. Based on the blood tests, your hormone levels should regulate soon, and I’d recommend you take it easy and eat well, get good rest, and assist your hormones in balancing however you can.”

“Will do, doctor,” you reply. “Thank you.”

After you end the call, Tim brushes his thumb against your hand and waits until you turn in your seat.

“Are you disappointed?” he asks.

“No,” you confess. “I don’t think I’m really anything. I was so confused and taken back by everything she said that I didn’t really think about it either way.”

“When or if you are ready for that test to be positive, I’ll be right here,” Tim promises.

His phone rings, and he rolls his eyes before he says, “Yes, Chen?”

“Hey, Lucy!” you add.

“Oh, good, I need to talk to both of you,” she says. “Tim, can you help me get reservations for Friday night?”

“Do you think I’m your assistant, Chen?” he barks into the phone.

“Is that a no?”

Tim doesn’t answer, so you ask, “Another date with Alex?”

“Yes!” Lucy exclaims. “But I need a new outfit, which is what I wanted to ask you about.”

“We can go shopping tomorrow after end of shift if you want.”

“I do! And if you can change Dad’s mind, I’ll bake you cookies.”

“Don’t bribe my wife,” Tim interrupts.

He taps his phone screen and sighs. You laugh as he steers the car back onto the road and drives toward the station to get his truck.

“She’s more work than a baby would be,” Tim complains.

“Does that mean you’re going to help her?”

“Not until I get some time with you that she doesn’t interrupt.”

“Yet you answered her phone call without hesitation,” you muse.

“And you hid your pregnancy from your husband.”

Tim’s phone lights up, displaying that his call from Lucy is still connected. She yells, “What?!” so loudly that Tim swerves, and you begin laughing as he tries to explain.

“You’re not being replaced?” he repeats. “Chen, what is wrong with you?”

Plss write abt dennis and younger reader when they are in a relationship

BEING UN-DENNIS-ABLE

Dennis Reynolds x Younger Reader

Always Sunny Masterlist

Authors Note: There’s so much I have planned for Dennis and Readers rollercoaster of a relationship I figured I’d start with a bit about their first date and first little romantic interactions. I hope you like it !!!

Also that photo of shirtless Glenn makes me want to bark

Warnings/Tags: Usual behaviour from the gang, Dennis being a bastard man, misogyny, narcissism, sexism, plus surprise appearances from Mac’s mom and Artemis hehe

Word Count: 4.4k

Dennis Reynolds does not do relationships.

They’re messy. They’re draining. They’re restrictive and quite frankly, Dennis didn’t want to deny himself of all the potential hotties out there that he hadn’t met yet. So, he was always in the dating pool and open to the next manipulation opportunity.

He was a difficult man to tie down simply because he didn’t want to be. Yeah, some of the perks that came with having a girlfriend were attractive to Dennis, but the overall concept of being in a relationship was enough of a deterrent to happily sacrifice those benefits. He’d convinced himself he was better off single anyways.

Dating you was different because unlike the rest of his sexual conquests, he found it impossible to complete the D.E.N.N.I.S System. He couldn’t separate entirely. You were basically a part of the gang now, especially after you’d struck up a deal with Frank to become an ‘employee’ of Paddy’s Pub.

"Hey Frank, can I ask you something kinda private?" You asked after knocking quietly on the open office door to get his attention.

Frank screws his face up and looks at you from behind the desk. "Woah, hey kid… I ain’t into chicks your age alright?”

“What?” You exclaimed in disgust. “No! I need advice from you. Jesus, Frank..."

"Advice? Ohhhh... Like fatherly advice? Cos I totally get your Dad skipped town and left you all alone but I’m not the role model you should be looking up to. I ain’t a good person.”

"My dad didn’t leave me Frank, he died when I was three. I barely even remember him.” You shrugged casually. “Besides, you being a shitty role model is exactly why I came to you. Someone who's financially corrupt and has successfully gotten away with tricking the government.”

“Say no more.” Franks grins, kicking his legs up on the desk and pulling out a cigar case from the top drawer. “What are we talking?”

“Tax evasion.”

Before he could cut the tip of the cigar he burst into laughter at your response. “Why?”

You explained to Frank about how your family trust fund worked and the conditions that were set around accessing the millions of dollars in their estate. As long as you and your cousins had a ‘proper’ job and received some sort of legitimate government-taxable income, you could access the trust.

One of your cousins insisted on becoming a filmmaker instead of going to college and wanted to access the trust fund to pay for the production. Your aunt was firm that until his little project actually turned a profit, he’d have to get a job and work in the meantime. Now, he’s a thirty two year old aspiring filmmaker without a single completed project and working at a fucking vape store in Los Angeles.

His sister wasn’t much better. She had zero ambition or drive to make a life for herself. Her financial plan was to meet someone richer so she didn’t have to worry about it. She was a fucking moron, the whole family knew it. Her parents paid for a building just to get her into Stanford her grades were so bad. Credit where credit is due though, that’s where she met her equally as dumb yet uber-rich husband.

“How much do you need to earn for them to count it as a job?” Frank asks out of curiosity.

You shrug, “Anything with a payslip I guess. It doesn’t matter so much about what the job is, it’s more so they know we’re doing something productive with our lives each day instead of blowing all the cash and doing nothing.”

“Tell you what. I’ll put you down in the books Paddy’s and say you work here.“

“Really? That… Was easy...” You were a skeptic. “What do you want in return, huh?”

Frank was a businessman at his core, he knew never to enter a negotiation unless there was some sort of benefit to him. For the average Joe in this situation, they’d demand money but Frank has more money than he possibly needs — as do you.

“What do I want? How am I s’posed to know? You’re putting me on the goddamn spot here, kid!” Frank defended. “Just- You owe me one… I’ll cash in the favour whenever an opportunity comes up.”

That was how you (kind of) ended up working at Paddy’s with the gang.

The first four years of knowing you were tricky for Dennis because you were under 21 and the gang had enforced a rule amongst themselves to be better influencers around you to not taint your young, impressionable mind. Plus you weren’t legally allowed in the bar so you didn’t seen them as often as you did now.

Dennis assumed that once you were 21, it was open season and he could manipulate you at his full potential. You were basically in an incubator period from 18 to now, so Dennis had strategically been making ‘deposits’ until you had reached full maturity. And now that you had, he was ready to make a hefty withdrawal.

Except you knew that he just wanted sex. You weren’t dumb. You still flirted with him for those 4 years sure, but you knew exactly what he wanted from you in the end and wanted to see him work for it. You knew how his usual tactics worked because he’d always boast about his sexual conquests at the bar.

Much to his chagrin, you weren’t all over him or begging to bang the second you turned 21 which drove the man crazy. His usual tactics worked with women who didn’t know him, but he had to work a lot harder to win you over because you knew what he was like. He had to create a new strategy.

A new system.

After about 6 more months of sexual tension, you finally agreed to go on a date with him. It was one of the rare moments that Dennis was thrown off his rhythm when it came to women, which only intrigued him more about you. After he’d pulled his classic ‘oh no the restaurant is closed’ ruse, he suggested that you both go back to his apartment for takeout and a movie instead. He’d started the date off strong by getting you back to his place this easily, so he was confident the rest of his process would unfold as planned.

Cool, calm and collected.

You hadn’t been inside Mac and Dennis’ apartment since the drunken one night stand you had with Dennis. It was weird to be back inside because as much as it seemed sort of familiar, it still so foreign because you hadn’t really remembered that night and rushed out the next morning.

“Mac and I rented a bunch of DVD’s yesterday so it’s kinda perfect timing to have a movie night.”

The term ‘movie night’ was thrown around so often amongst the gang that sometimes Dennis found it hard to keep up with which movie night was which. It meant different things depending on who said it, and in what context. You know, like how words work? Whatever, it was Dennis’ problem not yours.

For example, when Frank ever referred to movie night, it meant one of two things:

1. The gang had invited him (on the rare occasion) to their existing group movie night arrangement.

2. He and Charlie were having a ‘Gruesome Twosome Tuesday’.

You see, it’s the way you say it that suggests innuendo. Saying movie night plain and simple doesn’t hint toward there being any other meaning. Movie night however, gave the impression that it’s not to be taken by its standard definition. That is was in fact, not the usual movie night.

Look at Sweet Dee next. If she said movie night, it meant that she had somehow weaselled her way into the boys movie night. More often than not, it was by eavesdropping on their conversation and assuming she was invited when she wasn’t. When she said movie night, it meant she was using it as an excuse to bang some guy on a first date without having to leave her apartment. A low effort win-win for her.

When Mac or Charlie said movie night, it meant it was one of the regular guys nights where Charlie went to Dennis and Mac’s apartment with a case or two of beers and hung out as they always did. Those happened multiple times a month. If either of them were talking about movie night though, it meant that Dennis had granted them access to one of his sex tapes to watch as a special treat.

Dennis had planted the idea of finding Bigfoot in Frank, Mac and Charlie’s heads earlier that day. All he had to do was look at his phone and say ‘holy shit there was a Bigfoot sighting in the Poconos’ and they were off on an impromptu camping trip. Mac wasn’t home which meant Dennis had the apartment to himself and now, he had a lovely lady to share it with.

“Let me guess…” Dennis said narrowing his eyes at you and pressing a finger to his lips as he pretended to read your mind. “Romantic comedy?”

“A rom-com on a date… How original,” you laughed with a playful eye roll, leaning against the back of the sofa and sipping your drink.

“Okay, how ‘bout a horror then?” He asked, resting his arm along the back of the couch, subtly bridging the distance between the two of you and chuckling. “Unless you’re too scared…”

Scary movies were the back up option for Dennis, but that was only the first detour. It was fine, he was smart enough to know the best manipulators accounted for deviations from the plan like this. Besides, watching a horror film meant that he could play the protective masculine stereotype instead of the in-touch-with-his-feelings guy. Both stereotypes worked with women so again, the plan was still on the right track.

He thought that at the inevitable jump scares, you’d curl into his side and cover your eyes. He’d then suggest turning it off, not wanting to cause any nightmares for you of course. You’d insist you wanted to keep watching and he’d say how cute you were when you were being brave — a comment laced with patronising undertone but he’d say it before leaning in for the kiss so you’d be focused elsewhere. Then? Well, then the second step of the D.E.N.N.I.S System would be nicely progressing.

Except you didn’t get scared, you laughed.

Fuck. Dennis had to pivot his strategy again. Shifting his approach to make fun of the movie with you instead, both of you made snarky comments throughout the film. He usually did that sort of thing with Mac, so naturally he was throwing out quips with ease. Each of them just as funny as the last.

And you know what? You were pretty fucking funny too. It surprised him, which it shouldn’t have because he knew your sarcastic sense of humour was predominantly witty, but he was just pleasantly elated that you could keep up with him. He was so just used to Mac’s dumb Austin Powers references and out of context Borat jokes said at the worst moments that it was nice to not have to deal with that for once.

After the movie ended, you were both pretty intoxicated and Dennis had made you laugh for hours on end. He was sure you’d be begging for his cock by now — he played a great game. He had you like putty in his hands. Add in the fact that you couldn’t drive home mixed with living 45 minutes away, and he had the perfect recipe to have you to stay over for the night.

Unfortunately for him, you politely declined. “I have an early morning tomorrow so I’ll get a cab home, it’s okay. Thank you for tonight though, I had fun.” You said slinging your bag over your shoulder and heading out to the hall.

“You’ll text me when you get home, yeah? I want to make sure you’re safe.” Dennis said with a charming grin, resting his arm up against the door frame to physically stand over you. Power move. He’d have loved to try to convince you to stay but that would have come across as pathetic. Only little bitch boys begged a woman for sex, real men convinced women that they wanted it.

And so, you finished the night of your first date in the backseat of a taxi, smiling ear to ear at the fact you’d successfully manipulated Dennis as much as he had attempted (and failed) to manipulate you. You knew what kind of guy Dennis was, you knew he’d be playing the role of a perfect man. You even picked up on his little scheme before it started when you’d googled the restaurant to see the menu. You were far too intrigued to see how his plan would play out to question him on the restaurants opening hours.

You’d also steered clear of cliche rom-com movies and let him suggest a horror film. You, a relative fan of the genre had heard terrible things about the latest M. Night Shyamalan movie but deliberately told him the complete opposite. Apparently it’s terrifying you said, acting as though you were nervous to watch it because of the raving reviews. Dennis loved a damsel in distress, a weak, vulnerable woman down on her luck or desperate enough to believe his empty promises.

As a woman of high intelligence and even higher standards, you knew from the get-go that you wouldn’t sleep with him that night. With neither of you remembering the one time you’d had sex four years prior, and the palpable sexual tension you’d both built up since, you knew Dennis was dying to fuck you again. You might be younger than him but you weren’t naive. Nor blind.You didn’t want to see how long you could make him wait for sex. No, no, no. That wasn’t enough long-term satisfaction. A rookie’s game. And you were no rookie. In terms of sex and experience comparative to Dennis yes, but you weren’t a rookie at manipulating people psychologically. Dennis thought he was winning his little manipulation game, and he was, but the poor guy didn’t realise he was the only one playing.

You and Dennis were manipulators at your very cores. You enjoyed playing the game as much as he did. The only difference was that he played to win and you played for your own amusement. You knew that he used the D.E.N.N.I.S system with every woman he pursued, and he wouldn’t stop until it was complete. That then became your motivation. He couldn’t win if he couldn’t complete all the steps and you wouldn’t go anywhere unless you grew bored of him.

Whether you or Dennis liked to admit it, you were pretty fucking similar — just in different ways. On the surface you both looked like polar opposites. And for the most part you were, but on the same deranged and twisted spectrum. You both denied you had feelings but you both had big emotions.

Dennis showed his anger outwardly by yelling and shamelessly causing a scene, commanding the power and authority over people by being the most dominant figure. Whereas your anger presented in a chillingly calm manner that made people far more unsettled than an explosive argument. You were the type of person to feel a tear roll down your face whilst laughing with how angry you were.

Charlie was always really scared when you got angry. More so than with Dennis.

Mac found Dennis scarier of course because he was emotionally attached to the man and never wanted to disappoint him, but with you he assumed he’d put you in a headlock or overpower you with some sick karate moves if you were to ever fight. You weren’t a physical fighter though, never was and never will be. Especially not against grown men.

One time you’d gotten in an argument with Mac about who knew Dennis better. You were in your mid twenties at this stage and Mac had overheard you talking about ‘the true Dennis’ to Charlie. He interrupted you and without any context, scrutinised you (and Charlie) for your ‘stupidity’ thinking you knew his own roommate and best friend better than he did. You had started to explain how you were speaking in terms of clinical psychology, he thought yelling the loudest and not listening to anyone would help drive home his point. You didn’t even disagree with him all, you were simply just talking about different things.

The next day you stopped by Mrs. Mac’s house and sent him a photo of the two of you sitting on the front porch having a cigarette together — a moment of maternal bonding Mac had craved his whole life. He furrowed his brows when he received the text and once Dennis noticed his confusion and saw the photo for himself, he grinned like the god damn Cheshire Cat.

“Is that your Mom? Fuck, that’s a good move… That’s really good…” Dennis trailed, impressed by your psychological warfare against Mac. Triggering his severe parental issues? Genius idea on your part.

That was the first moment Dennis truly respected you as a fellow manipulative elite. You were ruthless just like him which made you all the more challenging to conquer. It was his biggest project yet, four years and counting.

Mac runs his hand through his hair dramatically and paces back and forth across the living room. “She is such a bitch, dude! Why is she still trying to be a part of the gang? Like, first she tries to steal you away from me- us, and then fights me saying she knows you better than anyone else? Like hello? I literally live with you Dennis.” Mac scoffs, frowning over at Dennis who was too busy zooming into the picture.

“Wait, is your Mom smiling?! Wow… I didn’t know she knew how to do that.”

Mac snatches the phone back, “No! She’s squinting from the sun! Obviously. But Dennis, trust me she was such a psycho yesterday fighting me over you.”

Dennis had already zoomed in on your chest in the photo and was far too preoccupied staring at your tits to care about the conversation anymore. “You might live with me sure, but I haven’t been inside you.”

“You-”

“And I’m never going to.” Dennis finishes bluntly, not wanting to entertain the ludicrous conversation whatsoever.

Turned out you went over to Mac’s mom’s house to she had any of Mac’s old high school yearbooks. You weren’t up to anything particularly diabolical, you just wanted to see if you could get any dirt on Dennis because you weren’t convinced any of them were popular in school. You partly knew that taking the photo was with Mac’s mom would trigger him so you sent it just as an amusing little power play.

“Hey Mrs. Mac. Brought you these.” You said tossing a fresh cigarette deck at her. After she had already coughed a puff of smoke in your face as she answered the door mind you.

She grunted at you and stepped outside onto the patio, sitting down in her usual chair and opening the pack you’d given her. She was already smoking inside before you got there but here she was lighting a new one now. The half-smoked and still lit cigarette was burning a small hole in the sofa inside but not enough to cause a fire.

That wouldn’t be for a few more years.

Mrs. Mac held the cigarette between her wrinkled lips and scowled up at you, “Sit down.”

“Oh. Yeah, yeah okay. Thanks.” You said quickly sitting in the other chair. You’d only met the woman once or twice before and had barely heard her speak more than a few sentences.

She held the open pack towards you and grunted, which you interpreted as ‘do you want one’ and thanked her before lighting it.

“Sorry for showing up unannounced, I needed to get away from the guys.”

She nods, “Mmph.”

“I was wanting to look at some of Mac’s old school stuff? They were talking about it the other day is all, I’m a little curious.”

Silence.

“Is his room uh, just upstairs? Or…”

Mrs. Mac nods and takes a long drag of her cigarette, saying nothing but turning towards you this time.

“Cool… Yeah I’ll just go look after I finish this.”

She looks away from you again and closes her eyes, leaning back in her chair and letting the sunlight hit her face. “Do you ever shut the hell up? Just sit and smoke kid. The sun is out. Life is good.”

You recall Mac saying she thrived in sunlight once, which you were intrigued by because she was the human embodiment of a brick wall. But this was pretty optimistic of her. After a few minutes of more weirdly uncomfortable silence, she suddenly coughed and spluttered, spitting out a sizeable amount of phlegm into a nearby empty beer can before resuming her sunbaking.

That’s when you pulled out your phone and took a photo of the two of you to send to Mac — when his Mom was ‘thriving’ with you and not him. From that moment on, Mac had a grudge against you. For stealing Dennis and stealing his Mom.

Your on and off again nature with Dennis became a normal part of the gang’s dynamic. Sometimes you were both friendly and on good terms, sometimes you were at each other’s throats or dating other people to make the other jealous. Sometimes you would agree to part ways and not keep doing this toxic cycle, but a month or two later you’d be hooking up in the back office again.

Nobody could keep up with how to define yours and Dennis’ relationship because the two of you never wanted a definition or a label in the first place. It was just a never ending game of cat and mouse that most people would find infuriating and draining — but it worked for both of you and your twisted conniving selves.

There were little things that the two of you would do that subtly showed you meant more to each other than just casual sex. Tiny details that showed you both had cracks in your meticulously crafted armour against catching feelings. For example, whenever the gang had a particularly dangerous or life-threatening scheme, you were always the first person Dennis would look for or check was okay. It just became a natural instinct for him to protect you.

Without being asked to or having any knowledge of his dislike for the skins, you peeled Dennis’ apples for him. It was strangely comforting knowing he didn’t have to explain to you how the skins were riddled with toxins because he assumed that was what you believed too. They weren’t, and you knew that. You just peeled them sometimes, which almost felt like fate the first time he saw.

Dennis was too much of a realist to believe in fate, but if he did he might have thought the apple thing was a sign that you were a keeper. Maybe.

“What’re you eating?” He said with a slight scrunch of his nose.

“Apple slices with cinnamon sugar. It’s like Apple pie but without the pie. And cold.”

Dennis smiles gently, “You peel your apples?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m a fucking baby. I know.” You sighed, not in the mood for another joke about your age. The guys always teased you about that and it was getting old.

“No, no… I don’t eat the skins either. I’m not fucking with you I swear,” he assured.

He liked that you remembered to peel his apples from that point on. It made him feel seen and heard, which was something he didn’t encounter very often. He liked knowing that you cared about his wants and needs, like you actually gave a fuck. You even asked him for his advice when you went shopping by texting him different outfit options. He liked that too, being able to dictate your wardrobe to his tastes. His favourite thing though, was when you would ask his opinion on what nail polish colour you should get each time you visited the salon.

“Hey Dee, c’mere for a sec.” Dennis said ushering her over to him and showing her your most recent text. “Do different nail polish colours mean different things for women?”

“Red means she’s a whore.” Artemis calls out from where she was sitting in the bar. She’s several margaritas in but she’s still as quick as a whip.

“Oh! Yeah, that one’s true actually. Classy women like myself, get elegant neutral colours.” Dee said smugly holding the backs of her hands up to show her pale pink nails.

“So I’ll say get pink then?”

“No, don’t just say pink,” Dee says mocking his stupid boy ignorance. “It’s called ‘Bubble Bath’ and it’s a classic.”

Artemis then joins them at the other end of the bar. “It’s all about tone. Hot pink? Spring break. Baby pink? Eh, it’s pretty safe all-round. If she gets anything neon or super long, she’s trashy. And if she gets only a clear top coat she’s probably a prude.” She shrugs.

Dennis can’t help but imagine about what your hand would look like around his cock with different coloured nails. Neutral colours weren’t a bad image. Better than something gaudy like electric blue or something he thought.

“Bright red is for cheap whores but dark red is for those real expensive whores. Y’know the ones that don’t suck cock for less than a benjamin.” Artemis continues.

“Wait- Are you kidding? I can charge a hundred bucks for a quick lil trip down south? Huh…” Dee ponders, briefly considering the quick source of income.

Frank, who was eavesdropping from one of the booths in the bar laughs, “Don’t kid yourself Deandra. Gangly women like you could probably only get fifty bucks max.”

“You have good feet though. Men pay big bucks for flippers like those.” Artemis added.

“Dark red it is.” Dennis smirks, responding to your text and telling you to send a photo when you were done.

When your photo came through? Fuck, yeah Dennis knew he made the right decision. It looked hot on you. And they’d look even hotter roaming his body later that night he thought.

Which they did.

how about something where peter and reader are having sex but reader gets a bad calf cramp midway. peter tries to help by massaging the leg but he's just laughing really hard. overall v funny and crack. love your work btw!

w: smutty smutty, a little name calling.

Your arms are glued to Peter’s while he thrusts into you, you grip him tightly trying to keep him close. The sheen that covered his body made him both sticky and sweaty. 

“Fuck!” 

The back of your head rubs against his pillow, his hands push higher on the backside of your knees, you’re fully spread open and he continues to push further, you’ve never felt him so deep. 

“Baby, you’re… fuck,” you can’t even compliment him, you’re a million percent cockdrunk at the moment. 

You could kiss your left knee with how high Peter had it pushed up, he grunts at the new angle and thrusts deeper. You shoot out a cry of pleasure, his words come out between clenched teeth. 

“So good, you’re doing so good for me.” 

You whimper and whine along with his praises, you’re so lost your words tumble out. 

“Thank you, thank you, you know me so well.” 

Your boyfriend grunts but a smile takes over, he slows down and puts a hand on your cheek. Your mind races but his touch grounds you a little, you push your hips into his, trying to get back the momentum. 

“Are you thanking me for fucking you?” 

You try to clasp your hands around his neck and he narrowly misses, you roll your hips into his taking control. 

“You were being so nice, now you’re being mean.” 

A sarcastic pout takes over his face, he pushes his body down, anchoring himself into place with an arm by your head, the other hand takes your leg to push it over his hip. In one fluid motion he thrusts into you hard, you lose your breath and gasp against the pillow. 

“This what you wanted? Wanted me to fuck you hard and deep?” 

He keeps going, drilling in and out and your mind spins with pleasure. 

“C’mon, baby. Said I was being mean, is this better?” 

Your fingernails pierce the skin on his shoulders, your boyfriend's aggressive words made you slicker, you can hear the difference in sounds and know he can feel it on his end. 

“Like that? You like when I make you needy? Like you’re a dirty slut who-” 

A punch to his chest, panicked words usher from your mouth. 

“Out! Get out of me!” 

He didn’t mean to take it that far, he thought you liked it, it felt like you liked it. Peter paused, his motions stopped but he didn't move. 

Your leg had slipped down on his thigh and you were met with a wicked cramp that you needed to step down on to fix it, the pain and pressure was spreading up your thigh, a true life or death moment. You pushed at his chest to get him to move but he was frozen, you let out a yelp and threw his shoulders away the best you could. 

“Get the fuck off of me!” 

More aggressive than you meant but, fuck, charley horses were the worst cramps imaginable. 

Peter finally snaps into motion and pulls out of you quicker than he normally would’ve, you hiss at the feeling but jump from the bed, he watches you with scared eyes. He shouldn’t have said that, called you a dirty slut, he was just talking in the moment. 

The second you’re able to stand you deflate with air, the pulling motion eased. You finally had control of your leg back, it was tender as all hell from being locked up but it was your leg again. Picking it up and pressing your weight back down you felt ready enough to finish what’s been started. 

You flop back down to the bed and open back up, “ready.” 

Peter doesn’t move, you look down at the foot of the bed. His eyes are focused on yours, he looks scared. 

“Are you-” 

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking and it was a just in the moment thing and I didn’t mean it.” 

You squint your eyes and look at his face, “what?” 

Peter’s arms fly out to cup your face, you have squished cheeks and are forced to look in his eyes as he hovers over you. 

“I don’t think you’re a slut. Like, at all.” 

You bat his hands away, “I didn’t think you did but, thanks for the vote of confidence.” 

Well, now he has no idea why you threw him off. 

“I thought you didn’t like it.” 

You sit up with him, “calling me a slut?” 

A nod, you retraced the steps and let out an “ohhh,” then shake your head and smile at your boyfriend. 

“I had a cramp! I feel like you know how much I liked you saying that.” 

Peter’s hand was thrown over his chest, telling his heart it can stop going so fast. 

“I thought you did, but then I thought I went too far, thank god.” 

You scoff and tilt your leg open more. 

“Not far enough, now give my leg a rub down and fuck me like a dirty slut.” 

His fingers dig into the plush of your calf, already tenderizing the area, “yes, ma’am.”