I Think Malevolent Fans Should Give Arthur The Jonathan Sims Treatment Of Giving Him Longer Hair As

“Arthur, stop!”

“What?”

“There’s a young boy in the alley.”

“A child?”

“He has a mop of brown hair and large, brown eyes. He wears a dark blue polo shirt with two lighter blue stripes across the chest, and beige pants that cut off before the knee. His shoes are…very strange. Several Band-aids are visible on his body.”

“He sounds like he needs help.”

“No! It is not human.” [dramatic sting]

“How do you know?”

“I just do. It is having a strange effect on me. I am unnaturally drawn to him, like…”

“Like what? Should we run? Confront h-”

“…we need to adopt him.”

“I beg your pardon?”

i just realised that John kinda sounds like Freddy Fazbear at times and i've never been more upset in my entire life

LMFAO INCREDIBLE. IMMACULATE.

Thank you, Harlan, you feed us so well.

“…who?”

GOT ‘IM. ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED.

Old favorite character divorced, new favorite character acquired.

Arthur: *calls John a Sour Puss*

Me: *proceeds to lose my fucking mind*

Malevolent 26 dropped 3 days early baybeeeeee

kicking the door down to talk about blood and sand and the difference parker yang made in the life of arthur lester 

so the recipe i’ve found and used for a blood and sand cocktail is equal parts scotch, sweet vermouth, cherry liqueur, and orange juice. this drink is sweet. parker looked at this sad sad man and his scotch and said “if you’re drowning your sorrows you may as well change it up every now and then, yeah?”

arthur “secret sweet tooth” lester who’s been intentionally depriving himself of anything kind tasting this cocktail and sharing it with a stranger who just keeps coming back and eventually becomes his best friend. 

parker yang and the bitter-sweet tang of scotch and cherry and orange and the hint of light in a dark tunnel that arthur’s been stuck in for a very long time

“John, I can get you close to Arthur, but you’ll be in someone else’s head.”

“Larson, I will put a fragment of an elder god in your head, but he’ll be an absolute pussy.”

i am considering the sickening possibility that john's truthful answer to arthur's question "where did you go [when yellow was in my head]?" is "in larson's head"

What about John waking up completely alone with full control of Arthur's body

Ive recently been absolutely fucking destroyed by the Rusty Quill Gaming podcast wtf

YOU DONT FUCKING GET IT. DOES ANYONE HERE FUCKING HEAR ME. UNDERSTAND THE LANGUAGE I AM SPEAKING.

SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Favorite characters merged. New more powerful favorite character created.

“…who?”

GOT ‘IM. ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED.

Old favorite character divorced, new favorite character acquired.