Last Week Tonight, March 16, 2022

After 1500 years, Merlin thinks it's better to keep his aquired wealth hidden. It's all for Arthur anyway and Merlin would get bored without working hard everyday.

So he just - works a lot. To get away from the stress he takes a couple years off of doctor work and works as a barista in a coffee shop instead.

And then Arthur returns.

And Merlin is deeply embarrassed when Arthur sees him and asks him how he's 'sunken so low' (from working for kings to serve at a pub). Their initial fight about this topic becomes legendary in the history of the small local coffee shop.

And the regulars notice that Arthur ... Very quickly becomes one of them. He and Merlin bicker often and always and it seems like Arthur doesn't have a job at all, which makes his initial comment even worse.

He has also, somehow, never drunken coffee before? And still doesn't like the sweet stuff, as if he'd never had sugar in his life.

He stays everyday, for as long as Merlin works and then they leave together. Merlin takes Arthur to his apartment and every previous comment is stuck in Arthur's throat because modern apartments are beautiful? Not as big as he would like, but damn.

Merlin takes a month before he confesses to Arthur that he owns the entire building.

The way Merlin talked Arthur out of marrying all the girls he was supposed to marry except for Gwen. And I believe that if Merlin had wanted to, he would have talked Arthur out of marrying Gwen as well. In season 4, where Mithian appeared, Merlin was so clearly jealous (I don’t buy the whole: "he wanted Arthur to marry Gwen, so he acted like that" thing). It seems to me that Merlin was deceiving his own feelings. Everyone was keep telling him how much he meant to Arthur, and he was like, “No, that can't be,” like he didn't want to open that door.

Perks of dating me: I’ll let you sleep on my boobs

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Arthur: does something stupid with a sword that did not fix the problem

Merlin: godammit and I wanted a peaceful afternoon

Arthur: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.

Merlin: That’s because I deal with the ones that don’t involve swords.

Arthur, telling Merlin off: -and I can excuse treason, but I draw the line at spending two whole days in the tavern.

Leon: You can excuse treason?!

The “That’s immoral you shouldn’t write that, we need to get that taken down” discourse on tiktok right now is PISSING ME OFFF

Wdym you want censorship for a literal ARCHIVE are you fucking stupid

Ao3 was literally founded to preserve works that were largely getting taken down due to censorship

Censorship is the opposite of what Archive of Our Own stands for

The TAGS and WARNINGS are there for a REASON. Use them and stop complaining

The universal rule—don’t like, don’t read

It’s THAT simple

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