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my besties guilt & grief

Crying rn

It's midnight and I'm thinking about Alex sleeping peacefully in darlington's arms on his narrow bed. She no longer has to worry about her boyfriend coming home home high on drugs and a fight breaking out because she knows that by the time he returns from a ritual it's going to be late and she will be half asleep but that's okay because she will still feel him sliding into the bed with his hair still damp and he will turn off the lamp she left on before giving her a little kiss on the forehead. She will always turn around and find him reaching for her in his sleep and then he will kiss her shoulder before relaxing again. If she wakes up when he arrives at home, there will always be midnight kisses as he tells her about all the things he had to do and how insufferable all the people were. She can always count on him coming home early on date nights. She will always wake up to fresh flowers by her side on Sundays and Darlington will be on the phone with her mom so she can tell him to how to cook Alex's breakfast exactly how she likes it.

In light of the title and release date of Hell Bent (unhinged squeal) I was rereading Ninth House and, man, I refuse to even acknowledge the possiblity that Darlingstern might not happen. Like, Alex remembers the feeling of Darlington's body lying pressed against her way too many damn times for it to be platonic. Seriously, it's around four times.

I love you samosas. I love you empanadas. I love you pasties. I love you dumplings. I love you pirozhkis. I love you savory food in a convenient little carb purse.

“Let me. It isn’t real. Let me.”

what are your twenties if not an endless string of the ghosts of who you thought you would become

im this little kitty

No, but seriously. How did he get the irises? Because I like to picture this man running in the middle of the garden, guarded by his own shadows, looking desperately for blue irises. This is a hundred times more entertaining than him just asking a servant for a bouquet of flowers. It's hilarious guys, picture him running. I can't. He's a dork.