When I'm Trying To Focus But Shifting Exists

real wheel to wheel racing.

　　　we were always going home ,

yes, i have shifted, more than ten times, if you’re the sort who counts miracles like matchsticks or notches on a headboard. i am not. i do not tally my miracles like debts to be repaid. they arrive not as triumphs, but as returns. familiar. like a song i almost forgot i knew until i was humming it again, accidentally, under the breath of my dreaming.

i do not care if you believe me. i say that without spite. belief was never a prerequisite for truth. you do not have to clap for the moon to rise, nor bow to the ocean to be pulled under. reality does not ask for applause. it simply is.

i shifted after four years. four years of thinking maybe i was broken in some exquisite, cosmic way, cracked just wide enough to want, never wide enough to have. four years of collecting every method like seashells, pressing each one to my ear and listening for home. sometimes i heard static. sometimes i heard blood. sometimes i heard nothing at all. 

there were nights i didn't think i'd live to see morning. i say that with the softest voice possible, not for pity, but because it's true. i don't mean metaphorical dark nights of the soul, i mean the real ones. the kind where your body's still, but your mind is clawing at the walls, begging for a window. the kind where shifting wasn't some spiritual hobby or escapist whim, but a lifeline. a rope thrown into the pit.

i don't know who i would've been if i hadn't believed. not the glowing kind of belief. not the pretty kind. but the cracked, ugly kind. the kind that crawls. the kind that gasps, "please, just let me wake up somewhere else."

so when i say i shifted, i don't say it lightly. it wasn't a party trick. it was a resurrection.

quiet. not cinematic. not some thunderclap of fate. it was a shift like how morning happens, slowly, and then all at once. i remember going to sleep in my room, wrapped in some terrible hoodie, the air stale with the smell of forgetting. and then, like a breath i didn't know i'd been holding: i am there. not will be. not want to be. not maybe one day. i am. right now. here. and there.

it didn't feel like magic. it felt like choosing god, even if you don't know who god is. like giving yourself permission to walk on water not because it's easy, but because the alternative is drowning.

the assumption wasn't loud. it was a hum. a bassline beneath everything. and the moment i tuned into it, the world bent. not to serve me, but to meet me. like it was always trying to.

this is how i got there: i assumed i was there. i used the law.

i wish i had something more elegant to offer. a potion. a spell. a hundred-counted ritual. i don't. i have only assumption. not the performance of it, but the private, unwavering kind. the kind that does not blink. the kind that plants a flag in the dirt and says, "this is mine, because i said so."

i said i was there. so i was. not overnight. not in a blaze of light. it happened like a thread slipping through the eye of a needle, one slow stitch at a time. i told the air around me that my dr was real. i told the silence. i told the toothbrush in my hand, the toothpaste cap i dropped on the floor, the moth blinking against the bathroom light.

i didn't have to fight for it anymore. i didn't have to prove myself worthy. desire is not a courtroom, and the universe is not a jury. i stopped begging. i started being. and slowly, the scaffolding of this reality dissolved.

this wasn't faith. faith is something you carry with trembling hands. this was certainty. this was sitting still long enough for the river to realise it already knew your name. this was recognising that shifting was not a door you unlock with the right key, but a room you have already lived in. the furniture remembers your weight. the walls still echo your voice.

i shifted because i remembered.

and i kept remembering. even when it felt stupid. even when it hurt. even when the forum girls sighed and the scripting girls cried and the cynics said i was lost in a fantasy. maybe i was. but so is everyone. some people just settle for worse ones.

this is what i know: you can get there too. you are not cursed. you are not exempt. the moment you stop performing belief and start inhabiting it, like a house, like a skin, like an inheritance, you will see.

it is not far. it is next. it is with. it is just beyond the veil of doubt, waiting to be spoken aloud like a name that's always been yours.

you do not have to be special. you do not have to be chosen. you do not need a voice in the sky or a star to fall at your feet. you only need to decide. quietly. daily. like it's brushing your teeth. like it's feeding the dog. like it's the most ordinary miracle in the world.

let it be that simple. let it be that unremarkable. you were never meant to earn it. only to remember it. only to open your hands and realise they've been holding the key the whole time.

assume. not with fear, but with fondness. not with hunger, but with homecoming.

and if you don't believe yet, pretend. not out of desperation, but out of reverence. act like you are there not because it will trick the world, but because it will tune you to it. reality doesn't respond to panic. it responds to presence.

so say the toothbrush is yours. say the air smells different. say the cereal tastes sweeter. say the light is warmer. say your name with a little more certainty. you don't need proof. you are the proof.

and do not ask yourself how again. ask when. ask what now. ask am i ready to walk through the door i've been holding shut with both hands all this time?

because the door is open. the light is on. your seat is warm. your name is carved in the table.

come back.

finish the lyrics with lando and oscar

𝑙ondon, c͟o͟lt manor.

tarot reader. clairvoyant. historian.

my marauders dr.

mango colt looks like she knows something that you don’t: which probably is true because she can see the future. she was always seen in her hometown as the ‘weird’ one . . . . not in a negative sense, but she had just certain tastes who were quite uncommon. her trinkets mean everything to her !! weird laps, dolls, mugs, pillows, rings, snow globes, clocks. everything in her room seems to have a piece of her soul (in a good way…) and she also reads a lot of books, muggle and wizardry. her personal favourites are frankenstein and the arthurian legends. she also writes a lot in her journals; now fourteen, she started writing something in her diaries everyday, she has now over 20 of them. she always carries her current one in her bag.

next destination : hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. with her childhood bestfriends !

Hi, hope you are having a good day 🌷 I really enjoy all of your posts and it’s fascinating to see how limitless we truly are after reading your shifting journey. I want to know your opinion on something, what do you think about the meaning of life, as someone who enters the void state regularly?

I feel like i’ve been subconsciously holding myself back from actually entering the void and manifesting my dream life, because i was afraid of becoming nihilistic after mastering the void. Like what’s the point of putting effort into achieving something, what’s the point of the suffering we went through as individuals, if i can just enter the void and open my eyes to a completely new life in… idk, half an hour?

I would love to hear your input about this topic, and your advice about overcoming this fear. Thank you so much 💗

🌊 The void state and the meaning of life

I know exactly this fear, because it’s precisely for this reason that I decided to permashift for the first time into this reality (a reality similar to this one). I chose to start from the bottom, live a rather average life, and work to get what I wanted. And I succeeded, but I no longer want that.

Luckily, I know how to shift realities, and that’s what I’m doing. This experience wasn’t necessary, but it had significance for me, as it fueled my reflection on my existence and on what I want (I want all).

Life is what you make of it. In reality, "life" means nothing. In this reality, there’s a tendency to name everything and try to give meaning to each thing, whether visible or invisible, tangible or intangible.

In my OR, vocabulary was very limited; we only named what was essential for "leading" an existence. There is no word for "life" because, without humans, it has no meaning. It only takes on meaning for someone who has lived long enough to reflect on their life experience. Do we talk about the meaning of a baby’s life before their first year? No, because they’re not aware of it.

You need to have a sufficiently developed consciousness to seek meaning in the things you do. This consciousness, whether it’s you or me in my own reality, chooses to perceive a reality based on its current interests, tastes, which evolve through experiences.

These experiences provide you with information about everything you know today (everything you feel, see, touch, as well as your knowledge). But this knowledge is limited to what you’ve experienced in your 3D. As a consciousness, if you go into the void state, you are working with limited information—what you’ve gained through your 3D experiences. You know what exists only because you’ve lived it in 3Ds. That’s why, for me, the void state is just 5D; there are higher dimensions, and the void state isn’t the highest.

There are infinite realities, infinite multiverses, and each of these realities is a separate world that you cannot fully perceive. Each reality, each multiverse, is composed of information that you don’t have access to in the void state, things you haven’t yet known.

Reality is the sum of what you’ve manifested physically. When you choose to enter a reality, you don’t perceive the whole reality. Your world is everything you live. You and I have our own universes. We don’t interact directly. But in your world, you’ve created multiverses.

You can also access realities that you can’t even imagine with the information you have but that still exists, simply by wanting to enter an unknown world or having a few criteria—the rest of the world is already created.

In my case, when I left my OR, I simply wanted to live in a reality where medicine was more advanced and where water and food were abundant. As a result, I arrived in a more modern reality, in this multiverse. However, in my void state, before leaving my OR, I had no knowledge of the existence of a modern society :

I still remember the first time I saw television. The very first cartoon I watched was Winx Club. It was strange, like I was recognizing what I was seeing while discovering it. I had no idea in my OR that all of this existed before deciding, in my void state, to come here. I know all this only because I’ve lived through different realities.

Had I not sufficiently experienced this reality, I wouldn’t have discovered worlds like Harry Potter, for example. The fictions you choose to explore are the result of your decision to "play the game" and immerse yourself fully in the reality you selected. That’s how you gather scenarios and information, allowing you, in the void state, to create a tailor-made reality.

Honestly, that’s all I know, and I’ll stop there for my first century of research. I know people who want to project themselves into higher dimensions to seek answers or make sense of their actions, hoping to gain a complete understanding of the multiverses. But that’s not my case.

For now, I’m content to create scenarios and realities where I go depending on my mood. What you decide in your life doesn’t always need to have meaning or depth. I have a reality where I just spend time with my S/O, another where I work to earn a decent salary, and yet another where I am immensely rich, as well as several where capitalism doesn’t exist. I enjoy these experiences and the roles I play in them. The beauty of it all lies in the choice, like playing Sims 4 in first-person reality.

I don’t believe it’s necessary to go through trials to nourish the soul or learn lessons. That said, I do think consciousness can gain a certain maturity or wisdom. I don’t consider myself the most mature, as I’m only 26 years old in this reality (I chose to increase my age when I did my first permashift to have a nice birthdate 🙂 ), but if I had to date my "consciousness," I’d be 22. I have manifested things whose scope and impact I didn’t fully grasp, on both others and myself. My morality and the meaning I give to things have also changed, as there’s a big difference between imagining something in the 4D and living it in the 3D.

In the void state, there’s no logic, no emotions, just information. For example, trying to feel something is impossible; you only have the idea of an emotion, which you know if you’ve lived it. At the same time, if you force it, you return to the 3D.

I think it doesn’t even make sense to have given a name to what you call "life." And you did it only to escape certain responsibilities or to find something to blame for the misfortunes you’ve experienced. Since some of the things you’ve lived through make no sense, you decided to create this term "life." But as a shifter, you now know that everything you experience is only a reflection of your inner world, your 4D.

What you choose to live only has meaning because it holds some interest for you (to satisfy your curiosity, your primal urges, your needs, your tastes, which evolve over time). You choose your realities based on your desires.

I don’t even think I’ve finished reflecting on this topic. The beauty of it all is that I have (quantum) eternity to think about it, just like you do.

Since the future and the past don’t exist, focus instead on what you want to live in the present moment, and you’ll figure out later what you want to do or experience.

PS: In the Void state, you can also get bored and wanting to experience things beyond complete darkness; it depends on your curiosity.

The End of a Dream    -    Giuseppe Pennasilico , c.1908

Italian, 1861-1940

Oil on canvas, 99.5 x 145.4 cm

some of you guys need to realise there is a difference between your consciousness and your brain

your consciousness is you - your awareness, your essence - but your brain is just the physical organ processing experiences in each reality. when you shift, you’re moving your consciousness into a different version of yourself, one with a different brain shaped by different life experiences. that means some things won’t feel exactly the same. your thought patterns, instincts, even personality might be different because they were formed by a different life. maybe a food you dislike here is your favorite there, or a skill you struggle with now comes naturally.

“when i first shift i’m gonna be so freaked out!” well, no. the moment you shift, your consciousness seamlessly integrates into the brain of that reality, making it feel completely natural. It won’t feel like some sudden, jarring experience; it’ll just feel like you’ve always been there, like a natural continuation of your life in that reality.

“i’m gonna be so awkward around my friends at first” nope. there’s nothing to ‘get used to’ because your brain in that reality already knows them. their mannerisms, inside jokes, and history with you will feel completely natural - just like any other day speaking to your friends.

so lets cut out all of the ‘omg i met them and they realised something was off’ or ‘omg i almost had a panic attack when i first shifted i was so shocked’ because that’s just not how it works. there’s no dramatic reveal, no awkward adjustment period. you’re simply there, living as if you always have been.

Hobbies you can have in your dr

(that isn't just crocheting and reading)

play an instrument (harp, violin, piano, guitar or even more traditional instruments like zither (and so much more))

ceramics/pottery/air clay (ceramics is my personal favorite because you can make jewelry out of it)

scrapbooking/junk journal (i love junk journal because it's much more laid back/doesn't require much effort or even buying material, everywhere you visit, just take smth free like a business card or sticker and add)

edit your own magazine (my dream)

collect something (watches, jewelry, figurines, POST STAMPS, perfume, trinkets, magazines, lamps, posters, comic books, etc)

collect insects (it's a little unethical to kill a large amount of insect species that are a significant part of the environment purely for display so i think keeping a picture of them or finding and freezing already dead bugs are the better alternatives)

sports (fencing, ice skating, badminton, football, baseball, rock climbing, tennis, archery, snowboarding etc)

martial arts (ju jitsu, taekwondo, karate, wushu, judo, tai chi, muay thai, hapkido etc)

pool table (idk it's fun)

volunteering (animal shelters, soup kitchens etc)

herbalism (live out your witch in a cottage dream)

making jewelry (this can also be profitable)

researching/learning (choose smth you're interested in like entomology and learn about it)

wannabe journalism (basically writing, choose a topic like an art movement and write a mildly bad but enjoyable article about it)

make mockumentaries (time consuming but so cool)

flower pressing (so cute i love it)

sewing (it's fun and useful)

sketching as a form of photography (sketch any place you visit in real time as memorabilia, like a river with ducks floating or people walking past a tourist attraction)

traveling (visit cool hotels or airbnbs (like a private cabin on a ski resort or a large treehouse)) visit animal cafes, maybe also travel vlogging)

recycling your old stuff (making paper from used work sheets, make a new outfit/whatever you want out of old clothes you've grown out of)

will come back to edit if i find more, feel free (pls) add more ideas if you have any<3

hi hi hi!! because there is a distinct LACK of op shifters, could you tell us a little bit about your dr? i need something to geek out over i fear

hi hiii! i have more than one op dr, because the one piece world is very vast and also i have many ideas. the dr that i wrote about in my “zoro perspective” post is NOT going to be the dr i write about now because it is still very much bare bones and like.. i am very uncertain about it all the time lol. so i’ll go with the safer option.

    ⅋.   ⑅     ₊  𓂃   my pirate witch desired reality  .  .  .ᐟ

in this op dr, everything important starts the day of gol d. roger’s execution (because of course it does). i, an 18 year old ex-celestial dragon, attend the execution, and when i’m going back to my dinghy boat (that i stole from marines because Fuck Them), a 16 year old Shanks—who for some reason found me interesting—is like. hey can you give me a lift. i need to get tf outta here. and he’s like. devastated. little guy sounds so fucking sad. so i’m like. yeah sure.

and so we set off sailing. and i am a funny funny woman who manages to cheer up this budding alcoholic, so he really takes a liking to me. we arrive at a lowkey island nearby loguetown to eat and the owner and staff of the restaurant we eat in can’t keep their mouths shut and keep insulting roger, so we leave without paying (because only pirates don’t pay) and run away to my little boat after the owner chases after us. giggling and shit. and on a sunny day, three days after we’ve met, shanks is like. i want to form my own pirate crew. wanna join? and i say HELL YES . boom the red hair pirates are born.

and shanks is chill. he’s in no rush, despite just losing his only damn father figure, and the crew that raised him, and all that tragic shit. so we just keep sailing around the east blue, dine and dashing, wearing stupid hawaiian shirts, getting drunk at bars, yada yada yada. one day i ask shanks what purpose i will serve in his pirate crew when he recruits more people and he tells me that most pirates are ugly as shit because they don’t take care of themselves but that he believes i could never be ugly and that i will be the pretty face to look at (OK ??????? OKAYYYYY????? WHATTT?????(acting like i didn’t script this).

jokes aside, i know navigation, i worked as a seamstress for over a decade, and i WILL be a witch (and the strongest pirate on the seas, but don’t tell people that or they’ll try to fight me to take the title). so like. i have a place, always. i am NOT the first mate, because i could never that away from benn beckman, so i’m . the jack of all trades. the ace card (haha ace).

now. about the witch stuff. this is very much NOT op canon, and i could not care less. its a dr. i can do whatever i want. Haki is NOT magic. Haki is a mysterious power that allows individuals to harness their own spiritual energy, right? So about 2-3 years into the crews formation, i realize that i uh. do not possess the ability to do haki stuff. my spiritual energy does not respond. and i’m like tf? i though this was for everyone? turns out i’m a freak of nature. you see, to do magic in this reality, one must give up their haki. its a whole process. the whole logic is that, magic is inherently overpowered. you think conquerors haki is dangerous? try facing a fucking witch in this reality. luckily for non-witch people, giving up your haki also means you’re gonna go fucking crazy in half a decade after. full on. no sanity left. unfortunately for witches, haki is the only healthy way in which a person can channel their spiritual energy. magic is more powerful, sure, but it erodes your insides, burns you up, eats your brain—it acts weirdly as a parasite. you are condemned to a life of insanity and suffering, and your whole body is working against you. still, these witches live. still, they could take on a couple supernova pirate crews at once and get out alive, but they are unstable and do more damage to themselves, really. its the one piece gods’ way of saying “don’t ask more than what you can handle”.

but i’m not like that. as i said, i am a freak of nature (and more on it later). i never got the chance to give up my haki. i was born without the ability. i don’t have a haki presence, aura, whatever tf, and it really freaks out people when they can’t pick me out with their observation haki lololol. the thing with magic is that, if you have supreme control over your body—every muscle, vein, pump of blood, every neuron in your brain, your genes, your inner organs, everything—you can get away with magic. it cannot corrupt you, because you are its superior. power of yourself is power over the world. and i, resident freak of nature, am capable of this (if you’ve read dune, or watched it, this is very much inspired by the bene gesserit). so i can use magic to channel my spiritual energy. and i’m powerful asf!!! yay!!!!! (did any of this bit make sense???? i really hope it did haha)

moving on from all of this. my s/o is shanks. if you didn’t see this coming, idk what to tell you. the man is gorgeous and lovely and i love him very much. i haven’t scripted when we’ll become a thing because i will literally shift to the day after he asks me to join the crew and i just want it to happen organically without spoiling myself. and when we eventually make it to foosha village, we will adopt tf outta luffy i swear to god. THAT BOYYYY IS MY SON!!!!. we will be a married couple with a kid we left in a village on the other side of the world (just realized how shit this sounds omg)

so far i’ve only thought of my dynamic with shanks so ig i’ll say more about that too. me and shanks are (not actually) dumb and dumber. i will enable this man so much its the reason why benn goes grey at age 40. idk i just like the idea of doing stupid shit with this man. especially when we’re young like… its chaos galore. also we will be THE power couple. we are so sexy. anyway

                                                           𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

i feel like i rambled a lot but didn’t actually say much. i didn’t exactly detail my backstory because that is territory i have not yet ventures into (i am too lazy to script), and there isn’t much “plot” for this dr because shanks literally is the chillest mf like . we visit a whole lotta places ig????? idk i’m just along for the ride in this dr ahha so not much to say there either.

hope this was still satisfactory though. if you took time out of your day to read this, thank you thank youuu!!