naeyonvie

Latest Posts by naeyonvie

PUPPY LOVE

summary: kaiser can only bring himself to say that he likes you out loud when you’re asleep in his arms.

warnings: fluff, kaiser’s annoying whats new, would you call this manipulative..

A/N: i have a confession i dont even like kaiser like that but i will admit he looks fine as hell some times .

“do you.. like me?”

“is this some sort of new insult of yours?”

kaiser puts his hand over your face and lightly shoves you, though he quickly retracts in disgust once he feels your tongue against his palm.

“what the fuck,” his face morphs into a mesh of disbelief and disappointment, one you’re all too familiar with. “don’t be fucking gross, y/n!”

the look on his face softens though once a giggle escapes you. he’s glad you tail him as he makes his way to the bathroom in order to wash off your dog-like habits.

“you didn’t say no? so you do like me michael!”

kaiser swears he can see a tail wagging in excitement when he looks up at the mirror to see you standing by him. but to your dismay, he just flicks some water onto your face.

“don’t say dumb stuff either.”

one of his favorite things about you was your inability to quit. it’s shocking really, for someone like him to have the patience to put up with someone as persistent as you. but he thinks there’s a charm to it, though, only when it comes to you.

kaiser thinks it’s the cutest thing ever when all you do is pout and continue pestering him when he flat out denies your little antics. of course, he doesn’t really mean any of it— teasing you just happens to have become one of his favorite pass times.

“i’ll stop saying dumb things when you admit that you like me,” he smiles to himself once you’re following him out the bathroom again, into his bedroom. “youu like me! michael kaiser totally, one hundred percent likes me!”

a small ‘oof’ escapes you as he pulls you into his bed before he drapes his limbs around you.

“where’d you get a stupid idea like that?” his words don’t match his actions at all when he pulls you into his chest to wrap his hands around your head. he knows you can’t squirm around with his body weight on you like this, so he takes it as an opportunity to calm you down.

“ness told me so, he says you’re totally madly in love with me,” his fingers are massaging your scalp and his free hand moves to rub your back.

“yeah? what’d he say?”

kaiser thinks it’s funny, how worked up you get around him, only to succumb immediately to his touch. it only takes a few minutes of holding you before you’re all tired and clingy.

“said.. you talk ‘bout me all the time out there during practice..,” you’re nodding off now, with the few words you’re able to get out being edged with sleep. you aren’t aware of how you always bury your face into kaiser’s chest once you reach this point.

“yeah? gotta talk shit about you ‘cause you don’t ever come to my conditioning,” he hums. “you really hate me, huh y/n?”

if you were fully conscious, you’d hate how you always fall right into his little traps.

“nnoo.. i like you a lot, michael,” you murmur shortly before you fall asleep. he closes his eyes and pulls you closer, your soft snores muffled by his body.

“i like you too.”

♡ cute things they do in a relationship! (pt 1)

(pt 2 linked here!!)

small but cute things they do in a relationship with the bllk men <3

featuring ☆ isagi, bachira, chigiri, nagi, reo, rin, sae, shidou, & kaiser

tag(s) ☆ fluff!

ISAGI would comfort you before you meet his parents, telling you it's alright and nothing will go wrong. of course, nothing went wrong. his parents ended up liking you a lot!

BACHIRA would swap shoes with you if your feet were hurting. sometimes, your feet would get scratched and he'd rush to the nearest drug store to buy you cute band-aids.

CHIGIRI would give you tips on how to take good care of your hair and skin. he'll recommend a ton of good hair and skin products and buy them for you! suprisingly, they're all really good to use.

NAGI would brush your hair behind your ear. this mostly happens when you wake up and there's "too much" hair in front of your face, or it's too windy outside. sometimes, he'll just do it for fun

REO would give you a piggy back whilst crossing the road, or sometimes its just random. one time, he gave you a piggy back ride when you accidentally tripped and lightly scraped your knees.

RIN would randomly give you a small kisses on the cheeks, forehead, or lips, and you'd happily kiss him back. if he's being clingy, he'll wrap his arms around your waist, not intending to let go of you.

SAE would gently carress your cheek with his thumb, wipe away any tears if you happened to cry and comfort you + cuddle with you after a stressful day

SHIDOU would scream with you if you saw a cockroach inside your living space. of course, it's a joke, but eventually, he'll kill the gross looking bug for you.

KAISER would constantly say "i love you" after a tiring day, since he hasn't seen you for the entire day. you would then return the favour by saying "i love you more" and he'd disagree with you. "no, i love you more!"

a/n: i added some crack in shidou's part lmfao

©hioriri/fuyukohasnocreativity do not copy, repost, or translate. likes and reblogs are accepted and appreciated!

turning your back on itoshi rin even just for a second is the biggest death wish you’ll ever have.

not because his intention is to kill you ( maybe it is, i don’t know ) but because when you turn back to look at him, he’s right behind you—standing tall and looking down at you like a mad man and it scares you so much you feel like you were one more heartbeat away from a heart attack.

especially by how little sound he made creeping up towards you, you didn’t know he was right there until you looked back. honestly, rin is just unnerving in general, from the fact you’ve never seen him cry—like at all—or the way he’s as stiff as a board whenever you try to hug him, or maybe it was because he downs horror related things like water.

. . . but right now, his unfazed expression is going to send you into the gutters of hell. if you could pick a super-power at this very moment, it would be the ability to slide passed these damn floors so you don’t have to deal with this.

“oh, rin . . ! when did you get here . . ?” you’re a nervous wreck who may or may not be sweating balls. “since you turned your back.” he says—okay so he’s been there for like 2 seconds at this point—is that humanely possible? unless he’s some kind of monster who runs a block per second. you slowly nod, looking at his bottom lashes instead of his eyes. “you look nervous.” he blurts out because you’re obviously unsettled—eyes shaky, voice shaky, oh and your body is shaking against his—it’s annoying him.

thanks, mr. obvious. does he really not get that sneaking up behind people is absolutely horrifying? is he trying to star in a horror movie?

this man is a walking jumpscare.

sticky note. hey ya’ll . . . will u be my kaisentines? 🥰

“that bandaid makes you look stupid.”

you say to itoshi rin while pointing at the very stupid brown bandaid plastered on his nose bridge.

“yeah? well you always look stupid.”

he rolls his eyes, clearly angered by your comment. in the end, it’s only you who giggles at the end of his sentence—rin’s face still has the stone-cold expression he’s had since the beginning of whatever.

he’s so pretty it’s stupid. “let me change it for you.” you die down with your laughter to get up and grab one of the spare first-aid kits that are placed somewhere in the room. “no.” it’s a firm rejection but he doesn’t swat your hand away when it goes to peel off the plaster.

it’s like he’s a cat because he slightly hisses when you get to the part that got the direct blow. you grimace at the injury. “why do you look like you’re in pain?” he grumbles, annoyed. “i don’t know, maybe because it’s painful?” you shrug sarcastically while rubbing it clean before opening the new bandaid. the feeling of your fingers lightly touching the skin on his face makes him shiver.

“we’re all done!”

“is that a fucking dinosaur?”

sticky note. I HATE SCHEWLLLL anyway say hi to rin

cuddling hcs ; select members of team eleven

requested by ; nobody / self indulgent

fandom(s) ; blue lock

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; hyoma chigiri, meguru bachira, reo mikage, rin itoshi, seishiro nagi, yoichi isagi

outline ; “cuddling hcs for some of the blue lock eleven team”

note ; first time writing for these characters so they may be a touch ooc

warning(s) ; none, just fluff!

hyoma chigiri

hyoma is very particular about how he approaches your relationship, and cuddling is no exception to that — it happens on his terms with very little room for compromise unless you’re in need of comfort for one reason or another (he may be something of a princess sometimes but he is still your partner so you get a bit more leniency in his eyes than other people do)

loves it when you curl up against his side so he can hug you without overheating — whether that means laying down while you latch onto his side and rest your head on his chest in bed, or you laying down next to him when he’s sat down watching something (bonus points if you lay your head on his lap when you do this because he thinks it’s kinda cute)

will only cuddle with you in bed when it’s not too warm or stuffy to do so… or on the couch when you’re watching your show when it’s off season… or briefly around the house when you need a quick hug before he goes off to do his own thing — just don’t expect him to cuddle with you in public, major pda is not his thing

when you’re cuddling in bed before going to sleep, when he’s in a more sentimental mood, he’ll hold one of your hands in his own and interlock his fingers with yours and just… hold onto you like that until you both drift off — just don’t bring it up to him during or after the fact because he’ll vehemently deny doing something so soft (egoist…)

doesn’t appreciate having his hair messed with or touched like ever, but will play with your hair when you’re cuddling (either actually styling it when you’re perched on his lap on the settee or just absentmindedly messing with it when you’re curled up next to him in bed)

meguru bachira

meguru is such a cuddle bug it’s ridiculous — like he could happily spend all day every day wrapped up in your arms, surrounded by the small of you, with you pressing kisses all over his face, and he’d still never be able to get enough of it

as far as favourite cuddling positions go, bachira loves spooning with you (especially if he gets to be little spoon)… but he’s also a big fan of laying on top of you… and he really likes you laying on top of him too… gosh he really can’t choose!

will cuddle with you anywhere at anytime around anyone whenever the urge strikes him — and that can mean anything from him tackling you into a hug immediately after a game in full view of the cameras, to him pulling you into his lap and caging you in with his arms when visiting a friends house, to him wrapping himself around you like a snake when you try to get out of bed in the morning, to just about anything else. he just really likes hugging you, that’s all!

his favourite times to cuddle you are either immediately after winning a match (yes he stinks, no he doesn’t care, just let him celebrate and he’ll shower in a minute) and in the early mornings of his days off where he can stay in bed with you for as long as he wants

loves it when you combine cuddling with other forms of physical affection (namely playing with his hair and kissing him anywhere you can reach) and he’s more than happy to return the favour — needless to say, cuddling with meguru is a guaranteed way to end up laughing and smiling so hard your cheeks and sides are aching

reo mikage

reo isn’t particularly picky about what position the two of you end up in when you’re cuddling — whether it’s your head on his chest or vice versa, whether he’s big spoon or little spoon, whether you’re curled up against his side or laying on his lap, etc. — but whatever position you’re in he’ll absolutely melt if you start playing with his hair and showering him in praise for being an amazing striker and an amazing boyfriend

unless he’s like, say, currently in the middle of training or an actual match, reo is pretty much always down to cuddle you — be that in a meeting room surrounded by investors in his father’s company, in full view of all the cameras and reporters after a match, out in public when you’re on a date, or in the privacy of your own home (or one of the villas he’s rented for the two of you to stay in). in short, location and company don’t matter to him as long as he gets the privilege of having you in his arms

he’s an excellent multitasker and more than capable of doing work when you’re cuddling (as long as you’re comfortable straddling his lap while he sits at his desk… he can’t really work well when he’s laying down) so don’t ever worry about interrupting him or getting in the way of his responsibilities when you want a hug — in fact, he’ll argue that having you there with him makes him work even better than he would otherwise

when he does unfortunately need to get up to do something else, he always makes sure to hold you extra tight for a few moments before kissing you (first between your eyebrows, then on the tip of you’re nose, and finally on your lips to get rid of your upset expression) and promising he’ll be back as soon as possible (and that nothing can keep him from his love for long)

rin itoshi

rin isn’t exactly the most physically affectionate partner — or the most affectionate person in general — but if you catch him in the right mood at the right time then you may just be able to convince him to lay down and cuddle with you for a little while

if you try and catch him off guard with a hug he will stiffen up like a statue and look at you like you’ve lost your mind as he asks you what you’re doing — especially if you do it in front of his team mates or his brother (not a fan of pda)

ninety-nine percent of the time when you’re cuddling it involves rin being the big spoon when you’re trying to get to sleep (which is one of the only times where he’ll get over himself enough to get comfy with you like this). the remaining one percent only occurs when he’s either extremely sick/injured or when he’s suffered an awful loss on the field (i.e. when he’s at his most down and vulnerable), and consists of him pretty much collapsing on top of you while you comfort/assure him and scratch your nails against his scalp in the way he likes

only ever cuddles with you in the sanctity of your shared home on the couch or in bed, and will only ever do it in the late evenings — he just likes his privacy, that’s all

doesn’t really talk much when you’re cuddling — mostly because he’s tired but occasionally because he’s feeling a bit sorry for himself and moping — but will listen to you talk and interject with a noncommittal hum every now and then to let you know he’s still awake

seishiro nagi

nagi is pretty hit and miss when it comes to cuddling — like yeah he’s big and strong and warm and it’s easy to get comfortable with him (especially in the colder months of the year), but unless he’s in the mood to cuddle it’s pretty much like cuddling a heated statue since he just lets you do what you want and barely even moves

lazy as he is, seishiro much prefers to cuddle you in positions that don’t require him to move around too much or stop him from doing whatever he was doing before. so that means you curling up on his lap or snuggling into his side when he’s sat on a chair, you laying on his chest when he’s already laid on his back, or spooning when he’s laying on his side gaming in bed

as long as he can sit or lay down he doesn’t really care where you are when you’re cuddling, but his favourite place to cuddle overall has to be his bed — especially when you’re both in your pyjamas since then he won’t have to get up and change when he feels like going to sleep

if he’s in a really good mood he may — may — kiss you on the top of the head and start explaining what he’s doing in game to you while you make yourself comfortable against him… but usually he’ll just stay quiet and let you do whatever

unless he was already in the middle of something when you started (like playing a game on his phone or watching something on tv) then there’s every chance that seishiro will just start cuddling you and fall asleep after a while — it’s warm, he likes the way you smell, and he’s comfortable, so who can blame him?

yoichi isagi

yoichi isagi is a very affectionate partner who can’t help but indulge your whims whenever the two of you finally get the chance to spend time together between his games and training, meaning that he’s going to be up for cuddling pretty much whenever you ask (unless he really needs to do something at the time, but he always makes it up for you later) — and between his strength, attentiveness, and warmth, he makes for an excellent cuddling partner

there’s something about you laying on top of him with your head on his chest that just makes yoichi’s heart flutter — but he also can’t deny how much he loves it when you tackle-hug and cling to him after a match or when he’s come back home after travelling abroad (bonus points if you’re smothering him with kisses and hanging onto him like he’ll disappear the second you let go)

while he is pretty neutral to pda and can, under the right circumstances (like those touched on in the last point), really enjoy cuddling with you in public, yoichi much prefers being able to hold you in the privacy and comfort of your shared home — especially if it’s on the settee when you’re watching your show, or in bed right before you go to sleep

isagi is a very active cuddler and rarely settles for just holding you close when you’re getting comfy together, always at the very least making a point of kissing wherever he can reach on your face and asking you about your day

Israel receives significant military and financial support from the United States and its allies, including advanced weapons, defense systems, and billions of dollars in annual financial aid.

Despite its isolation among some Arab countries, Israel has succeeded in building alliances with other countries, such as some of the Gulf statesm helping it strengthen its influence in the SWANA region.

Following Israel's deceptive action of breaking the ceasefire, more Palestinians are being murdered by the hundreds.

Please take your time to donate to Ibrahim and Nadeer's campaign, who has to live with constant bombardment from the merciless Zionists.

Ibrahim: €66,286/€80,000

Nader: €10,936/€50,000

𓆩⚝𓆪 — Face Injury

𓆩⚝𓆪 — Synopsis: you try to help Rin practice but it doesn't go so well...

𓆩⚝𓆪 — Warnings: reader gets pummeled in the face with a soccer ball, mentions of blood, reader gets a bloody nose, slightly ooc rin but fuck it we ball

𓆩⚝𓆪 — Contains: fluff, gn!reader, HEAVILY inspired by a scene in a book called "The Inheritance Games"!! GO READ THAT BOOK IS FANTASTIC!!

𓆩⚝𓆪 — A/N: i read this scene in the book and immediately was like "i should make a blue lock fanfiction out of this"

Oh god. Rin hadn’t meant for this to happen.

You had insisted on helping him practice, and to your surprise, he agreed. You were wondering if it was because he genuinely wanted to spend time with you, or if it was because you were basically on your knees begging and he just wanted you to shut up, the latter being more believable.

So, the two of you traveled to an empty outdoor soccer field in a nearby park. What could go wrong?

Well, a lot, as it turns out.

Neither of you were quite sure how you were going to help Rin, but you figured maybe you could toss him the ball and he would kick it…? You weren’t sure, but at least you were helping.

It was going swimmingly, too. You occasionally made remarks to tease Rin, which was pretty distracting.

That’s how it happened.

You shouted right as Rin was about to kick the ball, which threw him off. Of course, he still kicked it, and it was a phenomenal kick as usual, but… While you were shouting, you moved, and the ball hit you right in the face.

It wasn’t exactly a light hit either. Not the kind of hit that happened in gym class where you’d either go to the nurse for an ice pack or get back to work. The ball crashed into your face, almost dislocating your nose and sending you flying backwards.

And that’s where you are now, sitting in the bathroom. You’re sitting on the closed toilet, hunched over with a tissue to your nose to stop the blood.

“...You good? Need another tissue?” He asked.

“Um…No, I think I’m okay. I'm pretty sure it stopped.” You said.

Run nodded, running warm water over a washcloth. “Come here.” He commanded.

You stood and walked over to him. You stood against the sink. Rin put one hand on your cheek, the other holding the washcloth. He gently rubbed your face with the cloth, the warmth seeping into your skin. It stung for a second, but then stopped.

“...Sorry.” He muttered.

“You don't have to apologize. It's okay. It was an accident. I’m not mad.” You smiled.

“...Tch. Your face only had dirt on it.”

“That's good! It doesn't hurt that much anymore.”

There was silence for a second. “Rin?”

He ran the warm cloth over your face again, and you found yourself leaning into his touch.

You gently pushed him against the bathroom wall. Your lips drew closer to his. “Yes?” You asked, your fingers tracing his jaw.

“…Yes.” He replied.

Your lips touched each other, and he kissed you back harder than you'd anticipated. He grabbed your hair, tilting your head up.

He seemed to scrutinize your face.

“Um… is there something on my face?” You asked.

“...Not anymore. It's clean.”

“Good job.” You told him.

He went to kiss you again, and you let him.

“So, wanna get back to practice?” You teased.

“No.” He said bluntly, his hand tangling around yours. “We're going home.”

𓆩⚝𓆪 — thank you for reading!

𓆩⚝𓆪 — taglist (ask 2 be added): @mariaace , @stellas-starry-sillies13

𓆩⚝𓆪 — blue lock masterlist

You had been hiding from him for the past few weeks. An hour or two before bedtime, you would force him to be left alone as you huddled under the bedsheets, doing god knows what out of his eyesight. Maybe once or twice had he questioned you - words returned with a slight blush and tight-lipped secrets. MICHAEL KAISER actually found it somewhat endearing, so he tolerated it for the time being.

It was sooner, rather than later, when you started to rush into his arms with blood-pricked fingers. He would pepper soft kisses against bandaged skin before you would scurry back into the bedroom, leaving him with a raised eyebrow and shrug. Then, after a half hour, you would invite him back to the bedroom, where he would overlook the stray threads which decorated the floor as he found Shangri-La within your embrace.

“Michael,” your voice was a honey-suckle melody, saccharine golden liquid dripping from your tongue as you called out to him. He let out a soft sigh - faux exasperation as his eyes left the words on a page. His fingers reached for the small box of band-aids he had begun to conveniently leave on the living room table. On this night, there was no maroon dribbling down the length of your fingers. Instead, they were hidden from his view, intertwined behind your figure as you approached him, all cheerful and dear.

He absentmindedly patted his thigh, beckoning you as he closed the book and placed it on the side-table, glancing at you curiously.

“What’s this, mäuschen?” Noir de noir simmered by the fireplace as your legs draped over his, a sweet smile on your lips, reverent to his gaze. You love him in a way he doesn’t understand. Michael doesn’t understand the tender ministrations you would run against the swell of his pale cheek. He didn’t understand the epitome of patience, which escaped your being & flooded into his own. He didn’t understand why you were presenting him with a small, cat-shaped stuffed animal, panels handstitched, sewn together.

To be understood is an abyss.

Gingerly, he traced his fingers against the seams, admiring art - you, breathless, by his side. He’s never owned something so delicate, skin reduced to parts of fabric and flesh of cotton stuffing. Perhaps, years ago, there was a much younger boy who yearned to even glance at something alike to the object within his grasp now. Perhaps that boy can be satisfied now.

Michael softened, an arm wrapping around your waist and tugging you closer. A whispered gratitude against your temple is enough, because you know. His head of fine gold rested against your chest, gently tugging on the little limbs of the stitched animal. 

You pressed featherlight kisses against his hair, sweet like myrrh. Your body, a latibule, designed solely for him.

There is a semblance of love, in being known.

©heartmaddie all rights reserved. please do not repost my work.

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“those stupid things are going to kill you.”

“then i’m going to die happy.”

rin scowls as he watches you hang upside down on the couch, stuffing your face with sour gummy worms. you’re not sure why he always does this every time you have an unhealthy snack, but you pay him no mind regardless. he’s the insane athlete, not you.

this song and dance is familiar to you, so you easily tug the bag away when he swiftly tries to reach for it and pry it from your grasp. a displeased huff leaves him and he grumbles, “i don’t know why you insist on putting that shit in your body.”

it’s clear he’s only like this because he cares about you and your health, but he also doesn’t understand you don’t need such strict restrictions on your diet the way he does. a love language for sure, but one that gets a bit lost in translation.

“my wiggly friends would never betray me, rinnie. one bag every so often is fine,” you say while slurping a worm like a noodle, making him grimace from the noise. sensing the conversation will go nowhere he simply grabs his soccer ball from his bag and heads outside to get some practice shots in.

he’s also positive you don’t see the small smile on his face when you call out for him to have fun and that you love him.

“i swear i bought more of them…” you mumble to yourself, rummaging through the snack cabinet in your shared kitchen.

(snacks that are almost exclusively bought by you apart from rin’s protein bars that have the taste and texture of cement. eugh.)

unsuccessful in your endeavors, you instead head up to the bedroom to ask rin if he did something with them. you don’t think he’d do something like throw them away behind your back out of pure respect for your choices as an adult, but he could’ve accidentally moved things without realizing.

you push open the door, asking, “rin, have you seen my -” his head whips around with wide eyes full of guilt as he haphazardly throws something across the room. from his mouth hangs a solitary string, red and blue and filled to the brim with sugar.

sour gummy worms. your sour gummy worms.

a shit eating grin is already on your face as he groans and tries to defend himself. he doesn’t really have an argument though, not when it was so obvious he was indulging in the very thing he ridiculed you for.

“i don’t fucking - i just wanted to see if they were worth killing yourself over,” he mutters through gritted teeth. there’s no point to even trying, rin quickly realizes as you close in on him.

you lose your mind laughing at him while his ears turn pink. he scoots over with a sigh so you can flop onto the bed, singing out, “rin loves gummy worrrrms!”

it’s so unbelievably annoying, but he finds that he doesn’t mind being the butt of the joke for a brief moment if it means seeing you so filled with joy.

plus, you’re too distracted to notice him grab another pack from his side table and shove a few more into his mouth. a win-win situation, he thinks.

Angel

“And what exactly is the purpose of this Schatz?” Michael asked skeptically as you straightened the sheet mask over his face with your fingers. “It hydrates your skin, makes you even prettier.” You replied with a small smirk. “It’s not like I’m lacking in that department.” He sighed, rolling his eyes but let you continue your work. At least he got to see your pretty face up close, so it wasn’t a total waste of time.

He adored these quiet moments with you, even if putting stupid masks on wasn’t on his list of priorities, he loved how you touched him so gently, a huge contrast to the physical contact he experienced most of his childhood. In the beginning, it scared him. How good you made him feel that is. The hugs, the creases, the soft squeezes, they were all so foreign he didn’t exactly know what to do with them. Yet you were patient, you always made sure he was comfortable with whatever you did to him. An angel. That’s what you were in his eyes. Someone he didn’t think he deserved, but also someone he would be a fool to let go of.

“There, now just leave it on for ten minutes!” You beamed, happily reaching for another pack to apply to your own face. “Sure, hase.” He sighed, crossing his legs now that you weren’t between them. He didn’t even bother looking into the mirror, he would rather not see just how ridiculous he must look right now, so he focused his attention back to you. Once you turned back around to face him, he couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped his lips. “You look stupid.”

“Look who’s talking Babadook.”

“Excuse me!?”

“You heard me.”

He scoffed, finally standing up from the edge of the bathtub, pulling you in by your waist. “You know I can’t let something like that slide, right?” He mumbled against your lips, kissing them gently. You smiled into it, wrapping your arms around his back. You loved it when he was the one to initiate affection, it wasn’t as rare of an occurrence nowadays as it was at the beginning of your relationship, but it still made your heart flutter just the same way. You didn’t even care about the taste of soap that mingled into the kiss. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to do this with sheet masks on. “Well, that tasted like shit.” He grumbled, wiping his mouth once he finally parted from you. “You really are a hopeless romantic aren’t you?” The sarcasm wasn’t lost on him, but he didn’t exactly care about it either, he just smirked as you reached up to fix his mask with a roll of your eyes. “You don’t deserve my expertise.” His eyes softened as he squeezed down on your waist with the hand that was still attached to it. “I sure don’t angel, I sure don’t.”

Word count: 501

soft kissing m.list | rules

pairing. blue lock x reader

characters. sae, shidou, kaiser

note. kind of putting my stuff together with the bllk fandom, hope it's not too ooc and if it is, i hope that you at least like it lmao

Sae or a kiss for reassurance

Saying that Sae was popular with the girls was almost an euphemism. They were always swooning over him, trying to get his attention. And even if he obviously didn’t care at all, you could help but to get worried because of this. 

It wasn’t really a lack of self confidence, you knew you were pretty and that he loved you but looking at those girls being REALLY pretty and having perhaps a lot more than anything you had, it kept on making you wonder if he wouldn’t leave you for any of them. 

You were both sitting on the couch in the living room, his eyes focused on the book between his fingers. You were sitting next to him, fidgeting with your fingers as you were obviously stressed over something. Too bad for you, your boyfriend knew you all too well to not notice it. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked without even looking up from his book, but when he heard no answer from you, he slowly moved his eyes to your figure. You were avoiding his gaze, trying to find the right words and clearly struggling. He frowned just a little, putting his book to the side. It seemed more important than what he thought. 

“Do you think about leaving me, sometimes?” Your words hit a chord deep inside of him. Leaving you? Why would he be leaving you? The thought never even crossed his mind. He gently grabbed your hand, his lips meeting your knuckles to leave soft kisses against your skin. “Never.” 

When he looked up at you and you finally met his eyes, you knew he wasn’t lying. But he could still see a flash of worry in your eyes, and he didn’t like it. His free hand moved up to your face so he could hold your chin, tilting your head down to make you lean closer to him. The way he softly kissed your lips made your heart beat faster in your chest, because you knew you were the only one being able to have this treatment from him. 

“Don’t ever think I’d leave you,” he whispered in such a gentle tone after he pulled away, his lips almost brushing against yours as he spoke. How could you not trust him when he was acting like this. Nothing should make you doubt his feelings for you, ever.

Shidou or a kiss as an apology

He never really cared about making people angry, at least most of the time. It was more like entertainment to him. But if it was you? He hated it. He always had some trouble expressing himself in any other way than teasing or violence, but he tried his best so he could do things right with you. So making you angry was the last thing he wanted. 

He couldn’t even remember what he did, but apparently it was really bad because you had been giving him the silent treatment for days now. No matter what he tried to do, you kept on ignoring him, not even looking in his direction. He could cry to be honest. 

You were sitting on a chair, in front of your desk, when Shidou walked into the room. You knew it was him, because he was the only one walking in without even knocking at the door. You didn’t glance at him ; well you tried until you felt his hands on your legs, making you turn slowly in his direction. 

He was down on his knees, his fingers slowly stroking your legs as he began to leave soft kisses up to your knees. Between his soft touches on your skin, he was muttering sweet nothings about being sorry and promising to be more careful. 

“Please baby, don’t ignore me,” he pleaded silently, looking up at you to finally meet your eyes. Your fingers slowly reached for his cheek, brushing the skin which made him slowly move up so he could face you. He moved closer, his hands sliding up your thighs. 

His lips left a quick peck against yours, pressing just a little to be sure it was real. When he moved away, a grin suddenly appeared on his face. You looked away, hating how easily he could go back at you. He grabbed you out of nowhere, making you fall from your chair so you would join him on the ground. 

‘I’ll be good, I promise,” he told you as he nuzzled his nose against the skin of your neck, the smile never leaving his lips. You let your fingers run through his hair, sighing slowly. You couldn’t stay angry at him for too long, especially not when he was acting like this.

Kaiser or a kiss out of jealousy

He had never hidden the fact that he was a jealous man, even if he didn’t like the idea that he was this close to someone. Well, at first he didn’t like it, but now it was the least of his preoccupations. You were in the center of his mind and thoughts, and he always made sure that you were focusing solely on him. 

So when he saw you talking with that random dude, he felt his blood boiling in his veins. Yes, you had the right to talk to other men, he wasn’t that possessive (perhaps he was, but he wouldn’t say it out loud). But you were laughing a little too much and he was a bit too touchy with you ; there was no way he would let this happen. 

He walked back to you slowly, maybe too slowly ; he looked like a predator about to jump on his prey. He wrapped an arm around your waist when he arrived next to you, bringing you closer to him so the other guy’s hand would leave your arm. A light gasp left your lips and you looked at Kaiser with a little smile. 

Before you could say anything, he leaned closer to you so he could capture your lips in a second. His free hand cupped your cheek and your own found its way to his arm, pulling away not so far after he kissed you. You turned your head to glance at the other guy, just standing there in disbelief. 

Kaiser looked at him, slowly raising an eyebrow. “Don’t you see you’re not welcome now? Just leave already.” And the poor guy didn’t hesitate before he almost ran away from here. You looked back at your boyfriend, crossing your arms on your chest with a judging look as he simply shrugged his shoulders. At least, he had you all for himself now.

thank you for reading <3

jacked and kind m.list | rules

pairing. blue lock x reader

characters. karasu, sae, kunigami, kaiser

note. hi there! first time posting with blue lock but i'm down bad for the boys again so guess i'll give you some stuff with them hihihi anyway take the jacked and kind trend with them <3 don't hesitate to request with anyone from blue lock!!

⎯ Karasu

no way he’s not doing this ; too much of an opportunity 

he loves when you show him off, it makes him feel proud, a lot

when he lifts you up on his shoulder, his arm his around your legs to keep you in place while he flexes his other arm with a wide grin 

you gently tap his arm while rolling your eyes, and it only makes him chuckle

he says no when you tell him to put you down 

“it’s a kidnapping, princess, you’re not going anywhere now” 

moves you from his shoulder only to carry you bridal type, walking around the room while giggling like an idiot

the video kept turning on for a while, and you were sure that you didn’t want anyone to see this video ever

⎯ Sae

he thinks it’s stupid, only to show off ; and he’s not a show off

but when you look at him with your big doe eyes pleading for him to say yes?

guess he doesn’t have any other choice than doing this

he might not be the most jacked guy ever, but there no way he can’t carry you up

subtle with it, not lifting you up too quickly but soon you’re sitting on his shoulder

your hand is on your thigh when you’re up there, holding onto his own resting on your leg too

he slowly put you down, making sure you won’t fall in the process

you immediately run to your phone to check the video, and he’s soon to follow you

arms around your waist, glancing from above your shoulder, he whispers ‘happy now?” and you feel your legs growing weaker than when he lifted you up

maybe people doesn’t need to see your boyfriend like this finally

⎯ Kunigami

let’s say it’s kunigami before the “incident” (please i need my hero) 

doesn’t really mind if it makes you happy, it’s not like it’s a big deal for him

sure he blushed when he heard the song the first time because you think he’s kind ; like he’s not your boyfriend and you’re not in love with him……

you gasped slightly when he pulled you up, you’re on his shoulder in a second 

you knew he was strong but welp, it’s still surprising to be carried like you weight nothing

he looks up at you, a bit worried when you suddenly held onto his arm

“you okay, baby?” you melted the second he spoke, quickly nodding to reassure him

he puts you down soon after, making sure you weren’t lying 

he’s too nice, who’s better for being called jacked and kind?

⎯ Kaiser

a big no no at first 

carrying you on his shoulder so you can call him kind? no way 

thankfully for you, he loves you too much to say no for much longer if you keep pleading him 

not that he would admit it anyway, he just acts like he’s annoyed and says yes with a sigh

he likes to hold you, a big clingy boy secretly, so the idea of carrying you on his shoulder is not SO bad after all 

and you want to film it so you can show off to your little friends? fine for him, show them he’s better than their stupid boyfriends

carries you on his shoulder like it’s a piece of cake for him, and puts you down as easily 

“make sure to show it” he’s full of himself after seeing all smiley in front of the video

thank you for reading!

blue lock ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ cute/funny moments with the blue lock boys !

itoshi sae ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ he sucks at cooking

sae growing up only knew how to play football. he never paid attention to class or even bothered to learn anything else since he was too focused on football. really, that was his only weakness, but surely his cooking skills cant be that bad right?

you always cooked for him, well since it was a natural thing for you to...you didnt mind cooking for him and you, even if you got off work. you just felt as if it was your job to do so.

sae doesnt express it much, but he appreciates the work you put into your work and the house. you clean, cook, and do the laundry, he couldnt have asked for better.

you had overtime today since saes birthday was coming up, you wanted to surprise him with lots and lots of gifts! (even though hes a rich man).

you 6:34pm overtime today. might come home late! sae 6:57pm alright.

sae didnt come home to dinner, or to your kisses you gave him when he entered in. just welcomed with the darkness that engulfed the room. he put away his things and began to change out of his clothes to more comfortable ones.

he didnt have anything else to do. so why not try to cook up a meal for you since you always took care of it for him. he might as well just repay the times youve cooked.

luckily you were glad it wasnt that long of overtime, you could just go home and quickly cook up a meal for sae!

not even inside of the house yet, you smell something burning...? very concerning you quickly grabbed your keys and open the door to smoke everywhere.

"ah-what the..!" you rush to the kitchen and see sae...

"sae what the hell did you do?!" you grabbed a nearby book, swaying it around to get the smoke out of your way.

sae only clicks his tongue in annoyance. "it said to boil two cups of water." raising his phone up. you walk up to the stove and to your literal horror, theres actually two cups on the stove.

"it meant the measurement!" you grabbed your mittens and grabbed the cubs that melted onto the stove already. your beautiful cups were ruined....

you curl up the book in your hand and hit sae with it on his head.

"youre not allowed in the kitchen anymore."

nagi seishiro ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ he hurt you on accident

it was yours and nagis day off meaning you guys can spend time together! though he was a lazy bum so really all you guys would ever do was just cuddle up with each other in his bed.

he saw it as comfortable silence as he played his game on his phone while you laid on his chest, either napping or just waiting for him to get off to watch a movie or something.

"almost done?" you poke at his chest.

"one more." he glanced at you before returning his gaze to his game. you pout but laid your head against his chest again, at least hearing his heartbeat was calming enough to let it slide for a bit.

you ended up kind of napping, but you can hear the faint sounds of his shooting game and him talking to himself.

you grumble, shifting into a bit more comfortable position, accidentally hitting his arm and that made him lose his balance with his phone. dropping it on your forehead.

"ah-" nagi looks at mid air before slowing shifting his gaze down.

a loud thud was heard when his phone made contact with your head and the room was filled was silence.

nagi blinks a bit for turning his head to the side, as if he did nothing.

"sei." you spoke, not moving an inch from where you were.

"what." he rest his hand on his head to soothe your forehead, like he wasnt the one who did that.

"im taking your phone." you grip his phone a little too tight a crack was heard.

kaiser michael˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ brushing his hair

theres not a single night where you guys wouldnt sleep with each other, other than him leaving the country for football tournaments or so. but when you guys were together, its a must to sleep together.

and knowing kaiser for a long time now, you know how crazy his bed hair gets and he gets really grumpy about it its kind of funny.

waking up earlier than kaiser, youre set on preparing breakfast before he starts his daily training with ness and his other members.

humming random songs that come to your mind while cooking, you can hear faint footstep approaching the kitchen.

shifting your attention to the side, you can see your boyfriend, who still looks half-asleep with his hair that looks like he had a bad hair day.

you giggled to yourself, setting the spoon aside. "good there misha?" walking up to him to give your morning kisses.

he can only grumble, returning the kiss back.

"hurry up and brush my hair." he scratches his head.

"how does it always get this bad?" you laughed at him before dragging him to your vanity. settling him down, grabbing the hair brush to carefully handle his hair.

kaiser loved when you brushed his hair, it was always so calming for him and felt relaxing. its like he can only focus on you and him.

"let me know if i accidentally hurt you okay?" you shift to the side to look at him thru the mirror, his eyes were closed and he only lets out a low hum.

this was his moment of peace, just you brushing his hair while he relaxed under the comforts of your presence.

itoshi rin ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ playing horror games

rin had a hobby of either watching or playing horror games. he had asked you if you wanted to give it a try, after a few nos, he finally convinced you.

"rin! where do i go im scared!" you walked up the trail while looking at your surroundings. you were in the forest, and it was just you and your flashlight.

"just keep walking." rin watched from the side, his hand on your shoulder while his other hand rested on the desk. he had already played this game prior but wanted to see you do it.

"no theres going to be a jumpscare i know it!" you stopped and shivered in the chair.

"there isnt i promise." he guided your hand on the keyboard to keep on going. he was lying, he knew all the jumpscares and ques, he just thought itd be funny to see you scared.

you grumble under your breath before continuing to walk, there was a corner you had to turn and you got scared. pressing the "w" key every one second, step by step, scared there was a jumpscare.

"whats with the intense music?!" you took a couple steps forward while your body was leaned back in case of the scare. you finally made the turn and there was nothing. you let out a sigh of relief before looking at rin.

"see?" rin leaned closer.

"yeah whatever." you turned around and there was an unexpected jumpscare, which was ridiculously loud and you jumped from your seat with a yelp, the headset hit rins chin and he let out a groan.

he rubbed his chin with a sigh and you eyed at him. "you said there wasnt any you liar!" you took off the headset.

"thats the fun of it."

isagi yoichi ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ his hair is so fluffy

at blue lock, isagi never really mind, but also never understood why almost everyone patted his head. its because his hair is so fluffy, he doesnt even know it!

whenever he laid on his bed, youd laid on top of him, just to touch that hair of his, seriously it was like fur but better! plus that v shape ahoge was cute to touch when it always just reverted back to the shape.

"not you too [name]..." he sighed and you giggled.

"but your hair is so soft!" both of your hands massaged his hair. he didnt mind it, it actually felt quiet good.

"is it..?" he raised an eyebrow at you. he never even noticed if that was the reason why people tend to touch his hair a lot. but that could explain a lot then.

"yeah its like fur!" you laid your head on top of his hair, rubbing it against your cheek, inhaling the blueberry scent shampoo he always used.

isagi laughs, he thinks its cute you find his hair soft, hes blushing like he still has the biggest crush on you. your yoichi is so adorable <3

mikage reo˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ can you get out prank

together for two years already and you guys are super comfortable with each other! reo was always a serious man but you wondered how he react to your silly pranks on him.

"babe?" you come towards him with a dress. it was a pretty peach color and very flowy.

"hm?" he looked up from his phone, eyeing at you.

"can you get out?"

"for what?"

"so i can change." and there reo looked confused. hes seen you naked before, so what difference does that make? maybe you just wanted to surprise him.

"you gonna surprise me with the dress?" he raised an eyebrow while rubbing his nape.

"no i just dont want to change in front of you." and thats when he becomes really confuse. he tilts his head and his lips formed a straight line.

"woman i fucked y-" he suddenly blurted out and you jumped on the bed shushing him. did he really have to say it like that?!

"i was just kidding, dont say it like that!" reo realizes that you were joking and laughed, patting your head.

hiii just something quick before i start writing again! please be patient im so sorry for the lack of postsss T^T

HIII can a request a smau of the bllk males like UH about like the reader accidentally confessed to them?? and what's their reaction?? HAVE A GOOD DAYY (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

ACCIDENTAL CONFESSION

synopsis — you meant to be texting your friend about ur crush but you accidentally texted ur crush

featuring — yoichi isagi, meguru bachira, nahi seishiro, reo mikage, rin itoshi, sae itoshi

a/n — FIRST REQUEST UAYAYYA ANYWAYS THIS ONE WAS ORETTY FUNNY HONESTLY

YOICHI ISAGI

MEGURU BACHIRA

SEISHIRO NAGI

REO MIKAGE

RIN ITOSHI

SAE ITOSHI

Whenever you start playing with your hair a bit too much as a way of stimming, and ripping off individual strands in the process- when Kaiser catches sight, he grabs your hand and yanks it off your hair basically.

Not so graciously nor bluntly bringing it over to himself and shoving into his hair in a ‘here’. When you tried asking about it the first few times, he scoffs and says it’s distracting from his peripheral- and annoying, he adds, as if this is important for you to know.

So, long before you’ve stopped asking the whys and slowly learnt to let it out like that, fingers scratching against his skull, applying pressure and flowing between the strands up and down.

The action working as intended, you never really pay attention to anything else after, or to how it almost resembles mindlessly petting a cat— and sure, it is annoying to see someone raise their arm all the way up and play with their hair in the same position for hours uninterrupted. But he cannot really deny; it feels good to have this type of contact, to be touched and petted— not that he’ll ever tell you but it’s another crumb he’ll take.

Michael Kaiser — BETRAYAL

PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader WORD COUNT: 1.2k TYPE: Humor, Established Relationship WARNING: Kaiser 😰

You wake up to someone shaking your shoulders. This is immediately alarming, but what’s even worse is that once your eyes flutter open, the obnoxious lights blind you. Your eyes shut close again, but you’re confused — for one you did not see the perpetrator, which means there might be an intruder in your house or something, and the other thing is, you recall turning off the lights before going to bed. So maybe it’s a poltergeist or something.

No need to fret for long. Soon enough you hear a familiar voice speak, his tone demanding and intonation annoying (as usual). “What have you done?”

You rub at your eyes some more and try to blink them open. It still hurts, but finally your brain processes that Kaiser has come back. Though the last time you spoke to him about his arrangements after the away game, he claimed he’d come back on Monday in the morning. Instead he’s already home two days earlier at an odd hour.

Did he lie to you? Well, you don’t have enough time to mull on this matter because Kaiser continues.

“How could you do this to me?!”

“Wha… What did I do?”

Nothing noteworthy you could’ve done comes to mind. There is a large amount of drool in the corner of your mouth, so you wipe it with the back of your hand as your awareness stirs more, warding off your drowsiness. While you’re glad it’s no longer painful to merely look at things, it also means you’ll have trouble falling asleep again because of Kaiser’s histrionics rousing you too much.

He’s very much still in his airport clothes and his suitcase seems to have been dumped in front of your side of the bed, placed in such a position which has been undoubtedly calculated with a high chance of your tripping on it in the morning in mind. You open your mouth to scold him about it and to order him to put his shit someplace else, but instead Kaiser keeps making a scene,

“I go out of my way to surprise you by returning at such an inhumane part of the day-”

You roll your eyes while Kaiser gesticulates. Your lack of amusement isn’t a deterrent to him at all, this fact made clear by the way he ignores what you did to go on with his charade.

“-and what greets me when I first step into our bedroom? YOU. Lying in OUR bed. With ANOTHER MAN.”

…

…

…?

“What?” you ask. “What man?”

“He’s right there. Do you think I’m stupid? You think you can gaslight your way out of this one?” Kaiser is still yelling. In fact he’s yelling so much, you’re really considering maybe some man materialized under your sheets because otherwise it makes no sense why Kaiser would be so convincingly angry. And yet you know there is no one else besides you inside of the property, so you can’t muster a response more appropriate than a scratch of your head. “How could you do this to me? After everything we’ve been through together. Answer me!”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about the man in your arms!”

“You’re driving me crazy,” you say, both bewildered and stunned by your own perplexity. “There’s no man in my arms!” You’re not even sure why you’re treating this as if you’re giving it any sort of weight when Kaiser is clearly making stuff up for attention and a grand entrance.

“Yes there is. He’s right here.” With unnecessary aggression, Kaiser wrenches something out of your grip and then holds it up in the air, eyebrows furrowed like he just dug in trash instead of take a belonging of yours. With that belonging being the forty centimeter Michael Kaiser plushie you sleep with when he’s gone (its usual residence being the side of the closet he doesn’t use), filling the void on his side of the bed.

Yes, you’re crazy like that, but it’s besides the point. Not to mention you kind of forgot you were cuddling with it, since you were so preoccupied with Kaiser’s strange behavior and unexpected appearance back in the house.

After a moment your stupor wears off. “Are you serious?! You woke me up in the middle of the night to play some stupid joke on me?”

Kaiser smirks at you and lets out an evil and, might you add, effeminate giggle. Then he moves the plush back and forth in front of your face with an expression so smug, you feel a compulsive urge to punch him. “Look at him. His face is so smarmy and he’s just disgusting. Not to mention the way he stares at people is fucking creepy and perverted with that soulless smile. Even his eyes don’t sparkle. Unlike mine, of course.”

You let out a sound of frustration, you can’t hold it in. Why is Kaiser tormenting you with his merch design critiques at a time that can be considered both morning and late at night simultaneously? “Wh- he’s not sentient, how are his eyes supposed to sparkle? And why are you acting like he’s alive?”

Kaiser continues to smile at you. His expression remains smug and serene. It’s obvious he’s not guilty about waking you up at all. If anything he seems refreshed — maybe causing drama with such swiftness has a rejuvenating effect on him.

“Well, he’s modeled after you, anyway,” you say, bringing his attention to where the faults in the form may originate from.

“Honestly I don’t know how you can feel fine sleeping at night next to that thing and not scream in terror when you wake up to it staring at you in the morning,” snarks Kaiser, disregarding everything you brought up.

“Ugh, whatever.” You pluck Michael Kaiser the Stuffed… — animal? Human? No, stuffed human sounds unsettling. You need more rest. — back into your hold and roll over, pulling the blanket over yourself. “I’m going back to bed. Don’t interrupt me with any more of your bullshit.”

Taking satisfaction in making you unhappy, Kaiser snickers at your grumbling. You hear some rustling as he presumably changes, then he turns the light off and pads out of the room to wash his face and brush his teeth. You pray you’ll be able to doze off again.

Another weight joins you and the mattress dips under it while it moves behind you in an ominous manner. Kaiser settles down behind you and pulls you closer. You try to hold off, but end up giving in and turning around to reciprocate his embrace while he tucks you into his chest, Michael Kaiser the Stuffed Animal going forgotten and abandoned once you turn your back on him.

Normally, you would’ve ignored Kaiser and favored the plushie he detests so much over him just to spite him for his stunt, but you’re tired and his body is warm and inviting (not his personality though).

Kaiser moves his arm to reach behind you while you drift in and out of consciousness. There is some movement and then you hear a soft thump as if he smacked something off the bed and it landed on the floor after.

Once the enemy has been pushed out of the premises, Kaiser’s fingers find their way back to you.

___

Who up watching dandruff videos

Loving kaiser is like loving a cat who is badly abused it takes months for him to trust you it takes a long time just for him to understand that you're here to love him and you won't do anything but you don't mind waiting that long because when he's asleep with his head on your arms and you playing with his hair it's worth all that time spent<3

I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT DRWAING BECAUSE OFFICIAL MERCH DESIGN DROPPED

GOD HELP ME

source: @BLUELOCK_EGOTEN on X

attractive things bllk characters (unintentionally) do?👀

i received this ask and decided to write this entire thing through a caffeine-powered fever dream. may have gone a little overboard. please pray for both your sanity and mine. thank you anon for your strong sense of imagination (or delusion, whichever you prefer.)

nagi lifts the hem of his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face, and you accidentally (or not so accidentally) get a good look at the droplets running down his abs and v-line. he also does the doorway lean while waiting for you to get ready. since he's so tall, he puts his one arm up on the top of the door frame while scrolling through his phone. when he feels drained of energy, he clings to you like a koala, face buried into the crook of your neck.

rin pushes his hair back when his bangs get in the way, and it shows off his ridiculously sharp side profile. sometimes you have to pause mid-conversation because the direct eye contact gets too intense. he has the brightest turquoise eyes in existence, and they stare right into your soul. pair that with the height difference and him towering over you. hang onto your ovaries because this man is about to snatch them. if isagi or sae are anywhere remotely close within your vicinity, he will personally drag your chair closer over to him. you know, the whole nick jonas chair pull thing? he also unintentionally clenches his jaw when pissed, the vein popping out and everything.

barou is polite to his elders. he holds the door open for others. he tips extra at restaurants. he is kind to service workers. he's just a gentleman overall even though he likes to act tough. he rolls up his sleeves while cleaning or cutting up vegetables, and you can see the veins bulging in his forearms. wears those form-fitting aprons where you can see the outline of his waist and the muscles in his back. he is not immune to raging pit bull moments, but he will calm down immediately when you ask him to.

kaiser requires physical touch to function. all concept of personal boundaries goes poof in his little ego-driven brain. he holds your chin so you look up at him while he's talking. also has that husky growl when he wakes up in the morning. he speaks german. what else is more attractive than that? if you stroke his ego, he will puff his chest out like an emperor penguin and flash that movie star smile. does not slow down his pace for you, and will laugh at your expense when you trip in heels and fall. but then he feels guilty about it and begrudgingly picks you up and carries you home. however, before that he will make you swear on everything holy to never tell isagi about his moment of weakness. (tbh kaiser is a menace and has some serious self-esteem issues. pls avoid dating a man like him in real life until he is fully mature. i still love him tho.)

reo mansplains but not in the condescending way. he does so in the "omg i'm so excited to finally get to share something with you and you're never going to believe it" sort of way. rambles on and on about his interests and gets that little glint in his eye when he's passionate about something. also not sure if this counts but he gets extremely depressed when you don't message him back within five minutes. what do you mean you were busy? he was out here dying from a literal famine. he needs your affection to survive. last but not least, he is good at styling. he knows what colors work best for you, and he will put together three new looks for you in record time.

hiori dreams that you left him for good and wakes up crying with his arms around you. will refuse to let you leave the bed even if it is just to get a glass of water. his rare moments of emotional vulnerability are what gets to you.

shidou does not condone any of your bad decisions. you want to get shit-faced and party until early morning? no complaints from him. you want to wear sexy outfits to the club? say less because he's about to enjoy the view and knock out the front teeth of every guy who dares to ogle you. i don't know if this qualifies as being attractive, but he would never be the controlling type. you can dress and act however you want. unfortunately for you though, this is also a textbook case of the blind leading the blind. if you get horrendously hungover, so does he. if you get pulled over, he's going to be too blackout drunk to even comprehend the officer's words. you can count on him for a good time, but not anything else. do not take any of his advice at face value.

oliver likes to show you off even if he doesn't notice it himself. any talk with his team, and he will find a way to make the entire conversation about you. at this point, the entire u-20 team is done with him. they placed bets that you two wouldn't last more than a month due to his philandering reputation, but the universe seems to think otherwise because you and oliver hit the six-month mark and are still going strong.

ness guards your drink with an unnecessary amount of protection. while you left to go use the restroom, he was looking left and right, and the hairs on the back of his neck were prickling every time someone even came close to your cup. he also shoos away any person who opens their mouth while standing next to your drink because apparently the condensation from their breath could be dangerous. definitely covers your cup with both hands even if it has a lid. no suspicious shit is happening on his watch.

yukimiya is well-read, and he wears glasses. he has a copy of every single classic out there in existence and will fangirl along with you over your virginia woolf collection. he was written by a woman with two cats and a wine glass. not much else to say.

loki absolutely clears the entire carnival/arcade game. you want that giant teddy bear that costs over three hundred ticket points? say less because he's about to win the whole damn pot. of all characters, i would say he's one of the only green flags. like celery green.

isagi always looks for you when he enters the room. intentionally or not, he always seeks your presence. if someone says a funny joke, he turns to you to see if you're laughing or not. also does that somewhat creepy stare thing where he just looks at you quietly while you do mundane tasks. internally he is screaming cus what do you mean you actually like him?

chigiri gives you that thankful little smile whenever you stand up for him. i feel like people don't understand how goofy he can get as he's canonically good at doing impressions/impersonations. also has the prettiest laugh. if he ever cuts his hair, i think i'm going to get a nosebleed.

noa unconsciously says yes to every question you ask of him. he'd be giving bastard münchen a hard time (and denying isagi's requests) but then immediately once you come over, he's automatically acquiescing to everything you say. the rest of the team is low-key shocked you can win him over so easily. when they confront him about it, he just shrugs and goes "y/n is always right."

kurona's entire existence is attractive. he's just perfect. nothing is ever wrong with him. will let you check out his shark teeth and lightly pokes your finger to leave an imprint. hopefully you'll always remember him that way. he's also quiet so he will listen to everything you say and give ample weight to your words.

sae is my baby girl so he gets a whole section dedicated to himself:

absentmindedly plays with your hair. when you're sleeping in his lap, he'll gently run his fingers along your scalp. sometimes in the morning when you're sitting up on the edge of your bed to do your makeup, he'll come up from behind you and brush back your hair. might also press a kiss to the back of your neck.

helps you put on your face mask. when he's shopping, he will buy you lotion along with his own skincare products. says that it was just a convenient store run but you know he personally made sure to get you the best quality ones.

this is canon because i said so: when he gets out of the shower, he slings the towel over his neck or his shoulder. he also involuntarily flexes his biceps when he bends down to grab something. has the world's most defined deltoids.

when you're stuck in large crowds at the airport, he puts his hand in your back pocket to keep you two from getting separated. if the TSA pat-down is anywhere too personal for his liking, he will openly glare at the officer once you've passed the security checkpoint.

bonus point: when you two brush your teeth early in the morning, he has that little bed head where his shorn-off bangs stick up in cute little tufts here and there. will have a dead look on his face, but his eyes soften when he catches your gaze through the mirror.

Michael Kaiser — On Your Knees

PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader WORD COUNT: 2.9k TYPE: Humor, Teasing, ERM I think y/n and kaiser might like each other 🤓 WARNING: Suggestive sorry (flirting is only verbal but explicit at times)

Kaiser always looks alright with his hair wet. Not, like, stunning or anything, but passable. Then you know it’ll start standing up in weird ways after it dries a little and he’ll ask Ness to help him with it — which, embarrassing, by the way.

But anyway. You wanted to check out the communal bath after you took a shower, figured you’d be alone because it was already bordering on late, and Kaiser followed you because why wouldn’t he. Not like you value your peace and solitude or anything. He can be such a pest sometimes.

You were telling him what Isagi told you — it’s called a sento and apparently it’s different from the more popular onsen — and he said you weren’t ‘worldly’ and that you weren’t ‘impressing him’ and then some more about how ‘everyone knows this.’ Shithead. You should spit in his breakfast tomorrow, if you remember.

Well, you like sitting in the bath, at least, so you’re not too sour right now. Even Kaiser being right next to you can’t ruin it.

“I like this Raichi guy,” you say.

Kaiser shakes his head a little to show you he disapproves. “Don’t tell me you mingle with them. Also, the guy’s always benched. He’s second-rate.”

“No, listen, he was telling me about this sexy soccer motto he has. I really wanna know what it’s about.”

“You’re embarrassing. If you’re in my entourage, you should act like it.”

“Dude, you’re just mad at Isagi ‘cause he was trending on football twitter more than you were that day,” you say.

“I’m not!”

Very persuasive argument coming from him here. It’ll take a lot out of you to take it apart. He’s fuming about it, too. Maybe it’s not so bad Kaiser came along if you can poke fun at him.

“I don’t know why you’re the favorite on the team, anyway,” you say. “They all die over your corny tattoo and not to mention how much you love showing it off. Not cool at all.”

“You wish you were me. Now you’re being jealous because no one likes you, and it’s making you look even uglier than usual,” says Kaiser, seeming to believe himself if the smug look on his face is anything to go by.

“I mean, I had a girlfriend till recently, you know.” Kaiser rolls his eyes, but you ignore him. He’s always doing this, pretending he doesn’t want to hear you. “She had this botched blue dye job and said things like ‘pussy power,’ with the crystals in her room and the tarot cards and all.”

“Yeah? Sounds great. Did you pick her up after a match, loser?”

You click your tongue and wag your finger at him just to be annoying. “No, I don’t fool around with fans. Seems more like your forte.”

He flicks the offending finger away. “I’ve never done that, you slanderous pig.”

“No, but listen, she didn’t care about football at all. She didn’t even know what a scissor kick is. Ooh, she drove me wild.” You sing the last part, looking up at the ceiling fondly as if you’re recalling a warm memory.

Kaiser narrows his eyes at you, frowning. “You’re one strange individual.” And what a pompous way to put it.

“But anyway, wanna know what kinda tattoo I’d get?”

“I seriously don’t care.”

“A skull with two guns. Hard as fuck.”

“You’re so lame. It’s appalling, and also probably why you got dumped.”

He’s taking the tattoo thing seriously. At least seriously enough to insult you over it. He’s even snickering at you in amusement. His face is always, how can you put it… snide, but he does look a touch more evil when he starts grinning and shit. What a hoot, though. Really.

“Nah, there was this guy. He wore suspenders with plaid polos and these little sweaters over them. They were sustainable. Sustainable. Can you believe it? Sustainable! I didn’t stand a chance.” You poke him on the neck, already distracted from what you were rambling about. Kaiser is going to bring up your low attention span soon, you can smell it on him. It doesn’t take any effort to reach out, though, what with him sitting so close next to you. “This isn’t such a bad spot for a tattoo, actually. I don’t know, maybe you were onto something.”

“Paws off,” he says, swatting you away like a bug. A pedestrian bug, probably, at least in his imagination. “You really wanna fondle me that badly, you’ll use any excuse to do so?”

“Paws!” you repeat, clapping. “You’re hysterical.”

Kaiser rolls his eyes again. He seems to like to do that a lot, at least in your presence. If there was such a thing as competitive eye-rolling, you wager he’d be good at it, maybe even better than he is at football.

“No, but listen-”

“God, I hate it when you say that,” he interrupts with a groan, then contradicts himself by also swinging an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer just to yawn in your face with great exaggeration. The water is way too hot for this nonsense, so you push him away. “Because I never want to listen to you.”

“You’re crazy. Insane. It’s super clinical. Like, really.”

“Yes, I’m sure, unlike me, you’d pass a psychiatric evaluation because I’m crazy and you aren’t. Of course.”

“Imagine-”

“Can you stop topic-hopping?” Kaiser asks, annoyed. See, you knew he’d bring it up. “Does your head ever hurt with how much bullshit goes through it?”

You shush him. He scowls at you like you’re some mold growing in the bath, but you disregard his expression of disdain. “Imagine you’re having a nice day, I don’t know, at practice. Then I barge in with all of my asshole glory, right, and I walk up to you, and for no reason, I say, ‘On your knees,’ instead of greeting you. Isn’t that kinda deranged?”

Kaiser stares at you. To his credit, he’s decent at maintaining a poker face, but once he’s embarrassed, there’s no hiding it, no going back. Because no matter how much he does his usual male posturing or whatever it’s called, his face is all red, the blush even going up to his ears, mouth wavering the slightest bit. “W-What? In your dreams.”

“Oh, do you like getting bossed around or something?” you ask with the sensitivity of a numb toe. “That’s so pathetic.”

It’s quite the spectacle when his skin somehow becomes even more flush. Sick of your leering, maybe, Kaiser whips around, albeit not all the way, and covers his cheek with his hand while peering at you through his fingers. Finally, he decrees, “You suck,” with too much authority.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Forget about me, though. In that situation, do you spit or do you swallow?”

It’s unclear whether you’re getting any gratification out of this besides the satisfaction of flustering him, but you smile in amusement regardless. As if you care about Kaiser sitting there, looking all pretty and nervous because of some nonsense you’d been spewing. Not like you’re crazy about him or anything. That’d be ridiculous. You couldn’t be more unfazed if you tried.

You grab your towel with what you’d call impressive swiftness, then turn around and stand, covering yourself before preparing to go on your merry way. Kaiser pulls you back by the ankle, trying to trip you or something, the menace. Hilarious guy, really.

He is staring up at you in this petulant sort of way, grabbing onto his own towel with his other hand. “Why are you leaving so soon?” he asks, sounding peeved, as if you haven’t been here with him for an unreasonable amount of time already.

“I thought I should give you some privacy since you’re all hot and bothered now,” you say (with this douchebag laugh you have for situations like these, where you’re being a douchebag — self-explanatory), stepping out of his grip. Then you try to imitate his voice, but more high-pitched, accompanying your performance with a few vulgar hand gestures. “Oh, [Y/n], you slanderous pig! I think that’s what you’d sound like.”

“You’re such a lowlife,” he says, before all but leaping out of the bath and trying to maim you right here on the spot, and the only thing to save you from your demise is that he gets lightheaded and almost faints immediately after.

You reach out to pull him up and keep him steady, holding him by the arms. “You can’t be jumping out of the bath like that, man, come on.”

The lack of response concerns you, but after a while, Kaiser gathers his wits enough to say, “I’m going to make you slip, and I’ll be praying you split your head open.”

You burst out laughing. “Do it, then. You don’t have it in you, do you?”

Instead of doing as he promised to retaliate to your provocation, he settles for letting go of you and glaring, before clutching the side of his head and going still again. If there was any medical wing in this goddamn football contraption, maybe you would’ve taken him, but alas. At least you don’t need to worry about Kaiser too much since he eventually concedes and holds onto your arm for support.

The sight of you two stumbling around towards the changing room is probably comedic — uncoordinated as hell, covering yourselves with these flimsy little towels, using the hands not clutching at the other.

“You’re supposed to drink a lot of water before getting in,” you say.

“It’s your fault! You didn’t warn me we were going.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you weren’t invited. Jeez.”

“Oh, whatever.”

You return the tiny towel to the basket, swapping it for a bigger one and making quick work of drying yourself. You’re slipping on your shirt when you ask, “Is your head all right now?”

“I’m fine.”

When you turn around to judge whether he’s being truthful or not, he’s dabbing himself in a manner which is way more laborious, examining his reflection in the mirror as if he’s in some slow motion commercial where the camera will capture a conspicuous water droplet falling down his neck, admiring his jaw from different angles. He makes you sick sometimes.

“I’m not gonna wait for you to finish checking yourself out.”

He shoos you away with a dismissive wave of his hand. Unlike his, your actions most often align with your words, though, so you do walk out of the door. You’re not even ten steps in when Kaiser reappears, now magically dressed.

“Stop rushing,” he says, pushing you out of the way — and for no reason! There’s enough space for both of you in the hallway. You end up lagging a bit behind him. “I’m dizzy.”

“I thought you said-”

“Blah, blah,” he cuts you off, untying his hair and doing a bad job of smoothing it out with his fingers.

You’re rooming with him and Ness, so you’re already headed in the same direction. As much as this stinks, your other option was Gesner and Grim. God, is fucking Gesner obsessed with dick cheese. Of all things, that’s what he’s always talking about. Grim has your condolences, but the problem is out of your hands now.

“Your hairstyle’s ridiculous.”

Kaiser turns his nose up and smiles, coming off as pleased by the insult. “You can only wish to pull it off.” Always preening like a peacock. He’s entertaining. You swear he is.

You hook one of the ends, where it’s the bluest, around your finger, twirling it around and around. “I had a dream about you recently.”

“Aww, I’m on your mind even when you’re unconscious. I could vomit right now.”

“You were in the meditation position, but you were levitating, and the rat tails were holding you up.”

Maybe you’ve committed some kind of utmost offense, because he doesn’t even bother insisting they’re not rat tails this time. “Wow, those are the kinds of things you dream about me? Your brain is defective to the core.”

“What do you want me to dream about you, then? Are you implying something?”

He faces you, and he has this way of looking at you like you’re a blight on humanity. You have an urge to press your palms against his cheeks to check how warm they get when he blushes, but resist it. “You’re so delusional.”

He’s rolling his eyes again.

“Keep rolling them, see where it gets you.”

“What, are you implying something?” Kaiser asks, mocking you, but he seems kind of happy at the insinuation. You’re not about to point it out, though, having a semblance of self-preservation.

“But anyway, your hair,” you say. “It looks good for tugging on.”

He snorts, either at your audacity to speak such things out loud to him, or at the way you straight up ignored his question.

So you elaborate, just so he doesn’t get the wrong idea, “Yeah, like, I kinda wanna grab you and swing you around till you fly outta my grip.”

“What?! As if.”

“It’d be so funny, though.”

“Maybe to other stupid people like you. Dense people who always ruin the fucking moment, for example, that type of thing.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you say, stifling a laugh before entering the room.

The lights are still on when you come in. Ness seems to be reading some kind of book, sitting upright and all. “Hey, guys. You were gone for a while.”

“We were,” Kaiser says, you assume just because he likes hearing himself talk. “All that time I can’t get back.”

You crouch down to get him a water bottle in case he forgot how dehydrated he was (or more likely decides he’s above getting it by himself). It’s rare for you to do something out of the goodness of your heart, so when you turn around to pass it and find him draping himself over the solitary bed — the one you won dibs on in an honest round of rock, paper, scissors — you swear to never do anything nice for him ever again.

“Hey, get off! It’s mine.”

“But I want it,” he whines, as if his word holds more weight than the aforementioned game of rock, paper, scissors, which, as already established, you won.

You’re about to make an earnest attempt at throwing him out of the bed until Ness comes to his defense. “Come on, leave him alone.”

Saying no to Kaiser is exceptionally easy. But going against what Ness is asking? You can’t get a read on the guy. He’s either way too happy most of the time, or is secretly plotting your murders for all you know. You toss the water bottle at Kaiser, leaving him to smirk at your relenting.

“By the way, do you mind if I turn the lights off after I do my nighttime routine in the bathroom? I’m kind of tired,” Ness says.

“Sure,” allows Kaiser. So generous and charming with a winning personality to boot, this guy.

You lean against the bunk bed and ask, “Oh yeah, why are you still up?”

“I thought it might be rude if I went to bed before you both came back, so I decided to wait.”

Damn, now you feel kind of bad for dilly-dallying for so long. You clutch your chest with a tasteful sense of drama. “You’re so perfect. Hey, Ness, you wanna take the top bunk?”

“Wow, really?”

“Why not at this point,” you say. After all, Ness came in second in the game, but gave it up to Kaiser, and he ruined everything already.

“Thanks!” He grins at you before rushing off to do his business, almost blinding you with the sweetness he emits. Your gaze trails after him until he leaves the room.

Kaiser is looking at you with a mix between scorn and disgust when you walk over to his side to retrieve your phone from the bedside table, but you pretend not to notice.

Figuring you have nothing better to do, you take Ness’s previous spot, lying down on your stomach, ready to check your notifications. In your peripheral vision, you see Kaiser take his shirt off theatrically, then he has the fucking nerve to throw it at you. He makes such a big show out of existing.

It’s probably more painless to throw him a glance now than to be stubborn, so you exhale out of your nostril in resignation and turn your attention back to him. Kaiser props himself on his elbow while reclining on his side, posing on the bed, gracing you with a bastard smile. Almost presenting himself like a Renaissance painting you’re supposed to admire in some chaste, intellectual kind of way.

“Wanna know something?”

“What?” he asks, apparently irritated since you don’t seem so appreciative of him right now.

“I think shitty, obnoxious guys like you need to be put in their place,” you tell him.

It really is way too obvious on his complexion when he starts getting shy. He’s like a breathing mood ring. It’s almost fascinating. For a second, Kaiser is incredulous, but then he turns smug again, addressing you with a sense of challenge. “Don’t even joke. You’re not really about it like that. All you do is talk.”

You think you’re gonna start having even more fun together after today.

___

No homo I HATE HIM 😍

How to Subtly Show Someone You're Interested

PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader WORD COUNT: 2.4k TYPE: Humor, Bad flirting, bickering WARNINGS: huge Kaiser tw

#1 Eye contact

Kaiser has been acting strange.

Usually this would not be an observation you'd be making (as he acts weird all the time so it's not worthy of note), but today he's been so odd, it's starting to bug you even more than his default level of being annoying.

He keeps just… staring blankly. At you. You don't know what you did to deserve this horrible treatment — perhaps you did not grovel enough after accidentally butting into His Majesty’s shoulder, or breathed in his direction too hard without permission, or some other similar tragedy — but it's getting unsettling.

Well, honestly, it was creepy to begin with, but it's making your skin crawl more and more the longer it goes on. Like, what does he want? Are you going to be on the news soon? His eyes are blue and lifeless and evil like always, so you know he can't be up to anything good each time he burns your body to a crisp with his stoic serial killer gaze. It's even worse when he smirks at you while he does it, that's how you know the torture you'll endure at his hands will be slow and painful, and he's already delighting in his demented plans before putting them into action.

Kaiser attempts to maintain his stare down with you while he makes his way out of the training room and you stay behind putting away whatever you need to, observing him in confusion and fear. Though, of course, you would not admit to something as lowly as letting Kaiser intimidate you out loud (since you don't want to partake in an action that seems to give him a mental orgasmic feeling), at least to yourself, you can concede you're on edge.

… That is, until his dedication towards being a scrote proves detrimental even to him because he runs into the wall, hitting about half his face. It seems tormenting you is too distracting for a sick sadist like Kaiser. He palms at his skin, probably seething to himself while trying to seem cool and collected and totally not on the brink of shitting himself in anger on the outside, as if such a small thing as a solid wall could not faze him or even cause him pain.

You point and laugh at him. Kaiser pretends not to see you and walks out tall and proud like nothing happened. This will have to do as your revenge, for now.

#2 Initiate conversation

“Did you have a nice weekend?” asks Kaiser.

“It's Tuesday,” you reply, once again confused. Why is he talking to you, does he have nothing better to do.

“Right,” he says in a casual tone, like he didn't just ask you an irrelevant dumbass question. “The weather is nice.”

You ignore that one, but you can't help wondering if something is wrong with him and if this is an obscure call for help. Blackmail from a drooling fan perhaps? After all, it's unlike him to say anything so boring and ordinary, and you don't imagine he would make small talk with you unless it's a complicated code to signal that his life is in danger.

“What restaurant would you recommend?” Kaiser tries again.

“What?”

There's an uncomfortable silence during which you're just looking at each other, you perplexed and him expressionless, the previous guise of pleasantries and fake sweet smile wiped off. It is possibly even more uncomfortable than anything else that has unfolded between you two in the past. Then Kaiser says, “You know, I think you're an ingrate.”

“What?!”

“You’re not appreciative enough of my efforts.”

“For what?!”

Kaiser scoffs, averse to elaborating due to humiliation (either because of his apparent failure or because it's plain embarrassing to state his intentions when you don't seem receptive to them or because being outright on the matter requires him to express himself, which is in nature disgusting). Then you watch while he walks away from you in a moody fit.

Well, at least if he has the energy to act temperamental, that must mean he's not in any shittier spirits than usual. It is way less unnerving than his earlier civility, for one.

#3 Compliment them

Kaiser has no respect for personal space. Or more like he only deems his need for such important and disregards everyone else's. You know this.

But you can't lie in good conscience that he's gotten this close to you before, examining you, leaning in way too close. Close enough that you feel Ness planning your murder from across the field. Close enough to warrant a harassment complaint.

You assume Kaiser must be looking for miniscule flaws to fake laugh at like a missing eyelash or the fact that you have pores, but instead of doing what you predicted, after a long while of making you almost throw up from nerves — what's with this guy and staring at you like a microbe under a telescope so much? — he says, “You have beautiful sclera.”

???

You bristle at the sound of the strange thing he said. Unperturbed by your visibility negative reaction, Kaiser continues,

“And I love the way you look at me, like you want to kill me. It gives me a thrill.”

What's wrong with this guy? you think to yourself.

“Your bone structure can almost rival mine-”

“Kaiser, stop talking nonsense and go… back to doing something else somewhere away from me.”

“Hmph.” He backs off to a more socially appropriate distance, crossing his arms. “I see you still haven't fixed your attitude.”

“Me? I need to fix my attitude?! When you're the one acting like a depraved person?”

“Wow, if you think that's what I'm doing, you must not understand anything about the world at all,” he says in a condescending tone, smirking at you with played up amusement.

“You have some nerve! Kaiser, go away before I take advantage of my position and put rat poison in your water bottle. It'd suit you to go out that way.”

“You're so obsessed with me.”

After that declaration, he whips around to make a dramatic and majestic exit, with a deliberate swat of his hair to your face. Maybe you'll be spitting out gross blue strands after this. You fume to yourself.

#4 Light touches

Once again, Kaiser is plaguing you. Today's method of inflicting trauma seems to involve more gratuitous touching than usual.

He awkwardly drags his hand over your shoulder.

You stare at him as if this is the most scandalous offense you've been on the receiving end of. Maybe it's not, but he's been walking on your nerves all day with other such inept attempts at caresses. “Did you just wipe something on my sleeve?”

“What?” he asks in a flat tone. “No. Are you dumb?”

Your expression doesn't show anything other than incredulity. Certainly not the fluster and admiration Kaiser is hoping for.

You then go right back to ignoring him like he is dust. This is outrageous, he's going to be sick. Kaiser takes fate into his hands and embraces you stiffly from behind (once again showing his lack of etiquette).

Startled, you ask, “Are you gonna put me in an octopus hold?”

“No? Do you always have to assume I'm going to do something bad to you?”

“Well, it's not like you ever do anything good.”

Kaiser lets go of you even though he doesn't want to — truly a moment of his character development you're witnessing —, his arms dropping limply by his sides while he frowns at you like a kicked kitty. Exquisite manipulation tactic, however, you're not moved by the display at all.

He says, “I still think you need to fix your attitude.”

You roll your eyes and let him have his little moment with his snide remark. An immediate retort hasn't come to mind after all, and you'd rather play it off as disregarding him than admit to the shameful lack of a comeback. It's not your fault his incomprehensible behavior leaves you speechless, anyway.

#5 Be there for them

Kaiser decides to skip this one as it's even more vile than when he lowered himself enough to the point he tried to hug you.

#6 Use humor

Kaiser stands in front of you, trying to think of something funny to say, which isn't an activity he engages in often (as the comedy of his existence is often unintentional or manifests in the form of being a bitch for no reason and antagonizing people unprovoked). During this process, you're once more forced to endure the weight of his unrelenting, vacant stare.

“I have a controversial football opinion,” says Kaiser, finally.

“As usual.”

“The ball is sentient and it hates getting kicked around like that.”

You tilt your head, not understanding why Michael Kaiser would say something so… silly? “Well, I'm sure you take some delight in imagining that,” you say in an unsure voice, not knowing how else to reply.

Kaiser smirks at you in an attempt to shrug off his latest failure and feign casualness. Then he tries again because his spirit is as tenacious as his gawping. “You should always make sure to distinguish between ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I apologize’ at a funeral.”

“Why? Do you speak from experience? Is that a little slip up from when you attended the funeral of one of all those people you killed?”

“No. I think if I killed someone, I'd be the type to facetiously say ‘rest in peace,’ just to piss them off in the afterlife.”

“I can imagine you doing that. Good for you I guess.”

Kaiser snickers to himself — maybe because he's enjoying imagining all his enemies dead — and plays with his fingers in an almost nervous manner, which makes you question if you're perhaps hallucinating. He ponders if he's funny or not.

#7 Text them

(04:55 AM) Michael Kaiser: [5 image attachments]

(06:32 AM) You: why are you sending me shirtless mirror pics lol

(06:46 AM) Michael Kaiser: Wrong person

(06:50 AM) You: did you mean to send that to ness

(07:02 AM) Michael Kaiser: No

(07:05 AM) Michael Kaiser: ???

(07:43 AM) You: well you only talk to me and him so if it's not for us who else could it be for

(07:44 AM) You: lol don't tell me you did that to seem sought after haha

(07:48 AM) Michael Kaiser: Let's stop talking for a little while.

#8 Give them attention

Kaiser gives you plenty of attention, and he doesn't even make you do tricks for it. Like for example right now, when he's poking you in the ribs while you're trying to fill out something unfinished on the tablet during your break.

You slap his hand away. “Kaiser. What.”

He moves onto poking your neck instead, forcing you to wiggle away from him as he continues his antics despite your dodging.

“What do you want?!”

“I just don't want you to feel neglected by me,” he says in a tone he probably believes is suave.

“I don't.”

“You're trying to seem brave, but your eyes give you away.”

“You're crazy,” you say, not even in shock or embarrassment, but rather a very apparent disorientation. “If anything I've been overdosing on you lately.”

“There’s never enough of me. You don't need to pretend just to humble me. It's not cute nor clever.”

“Kaiser, quit it before I cut off your finger and poke you with it instead.”

To your surprise, Kaiser stops. You watch him warily for a few seconds before feeling safe enough to turn around and try doing your work again.

Kaiser pokes you on the sides.

#9 Playful teasing

“You look like shit today,” greets Kaiser with a smirk, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “Did they let the clown academy off early today?”

“Kaiser, you're so immature.” You shrug him off. Usually you'd allow the contact, granted he's not being rude or creepy, but he's done the former a nanosecond into the conversation, so you're not going to stand for it.

“I assume you're stupid or uptight enough to take me seriously. That's always fun.”

“Trust me, you're the last person in the world I'd take seriously.”

“No, but really, you're quite unencumbered by the standards of beauty today.”

“So I'm ugly and stupid? Awesome, thank you so much.”

His traitorous hand which had grabbed at your shoulder earlier moves lower around your waist instead, pulling you closer. At his actions, you squint your eyes and look at him as if he is a dirty wet sock. “Don't worry, I'd still take you though.”

This horrendous thing he just uttered makes you gape in shock. Then it morphs into disgust, and you smack him on the arm and retch at him.

#10 Mention being single

You expect something horrific to happen this time when Kaiser approaches you, but instead, out of the blue, unprovoked, nobody asked or moved — as most things are with him — he announces, “By the way, I'm single.”

You raise an eyebrow at him, not sure what to do with this information. “Yeah, that figures.”

“What do you mean? Tons of people want me, but I don't want them back. That's why I'm available, that's all.”

“Don't explain yourself to me, I don't care,” you say flippantly, crossing your arms and shifting your weight to one leg.

“Well, you should.”

“Sure, Mr. ‘Sorry Wrong Chat.’” You snort.

Kaiser upturns his nose and glares at you. “You’re mischaracterizing me and presenting that whole situation wrong. For one, I didn't say sorry.” Then he scoots closer to you, grinning without smiling with his eyes whatsoever. “Anyway, I'll forgive you. As long as you remember the main point, which is that I'm single.”

“I know, dipshit.”

“Wow, can't you rub your little brain cells together, the whole two of them, and understand what I've been getting at?” Kaiser snaps, frustrated that the fruits of his incompetent labor aren't ready for reaping yet.

“It's not my fault you can't say whatever you have to say properly,” you say, delivering your line in a pointed tone so that he can grasp the implication you're making this time.

Kaiser blinks with the small frown still on his face, a remnant of his earlier scowling. Then realization sets in and his lips form a thin line instead. His cheeks color slightly.

You're fucking with him on purpose.

___

Some slop I wrote on my phone on vacation in between drinking and sweltering in my own gooch in the sun. Enjoy or don't

How to Subtly Show Someone You're Interested

PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader WORD COUNT: 2.4k TYPE: Humor, Bad flirting, bickering WARNINGS: huge Kaiser tw

#1 Eye contact

Kaiser has been acting strange.

Usually this would not be an observation you'd be making (as he acts weird all the time so it's not worthy of note), but today he's been so odd, it's starting to bug you even more than his default level of being annoying.

He keeps just… staring blankly. At you. You don't know what you did to deserve this horrible treatment — perhaps you did not grovel enough after accidentally butting into His Majesty’s shoulder, or breathed in his direction too hard without permission, or some other similar tragedy — but it's getting unsettling.

Well, honestly, it was creepy to begin with, but it's making your skin crawl more and more the longer it goes on. Like, what does he want? Are you going to be on the news soon? His eyes are blue and lifeless and evil like always, so you know he can't be up to anything good each time he burns your body to a crisp with his stoic serial killer gaze. It's even worse when he smirks at you while he does it, that's how you know the torture you'll endure at his hands will be slow and painful, and he's already delighting in his demented plans before putting them into action.

Kaiser attempts to maintain his stare down with you while he makes his way out of the training room and you stay behind putting away whatever you need to, observing him in confusion and fear. Though, of course, you would not admit to something as lowly as letting Kaiser intimidate you out loud (since you don't want to partake in an action that seems to give him a mental orgasmic feeling), at least to yourself, you can concede you're on edge.

… That is, until his dedication towards being a scrote proves detrimental even to him because he runs into the wall, hitting about half his face. It seems tormenting you is too distracting for a sick sadist like Kaiser. He palms at his skin, probably seething to himself while trying to seem cool and collected and totally not on the brink of shitting himself in anger on the outside, as if such a small thing as a solid wall could not faze him or even cause him pain.

You point and laugh at him. Kaiser pretends not to see you and walks out tall and proud like nothing happened. This will have to do as your revenge, for now.

#2 Initiate conversation

“Did you have a nice weekend?” asks Kaiser.

“It's Tuesday,” you reply, once again confused. Why is he talking to you, does he have nothing better to do.

“Right,” he says in a casual tone, like he didn't just ask you an irrelevant dumbass question. “The weather is nice.”

You ignore that one, but you can't help wondering if something is wrong with him and if this is an obscure call for help. Blackmail from a drooling fan perhaps? After all, it's unlike him to say anything so boring and ordinary, and you don't imagine he would make small talk with you unless it's a complicated code to signal that his life is in danger.

“What restaurant would you recommend?” Kaiser tries again.

“What?”

There's an uncomfortable silence during which you're just looking at each other, you perplexed and him expressionless, the previous guise of pleasantries and fake sweet smile wiped off. It is possibly even more uncomfortable than anything else that has unfolded between you two in the past. Then Kaiser says, “You know, I think you're an ingrate.”

“What?!”

“You’re not appreciative enough of my efforts.”

“For what?!”

Kaiser scoffs, averse to elaborating due to humiliation (either because of his apparent failure or because it's plain embarrassing to state his intentions when you don't seem receptive to them or because being outright on the matter requires him to express himself, which is in nature disgusting). Then you watch while he walks away from you in a moody fit.

Well, at least if he has the energy to act temperamental, that must mean he's not in any shittier spirits than usual. It is way less unnerving than his earlier civility, for one.

#3 Compliment them

Kaiser has no respect for personal space. Or more like he only deems his need for such important and disregards everyone else's. You know this.

But you can't lie in good conscience that he's gotten this close to you before, examining you, leaning in way too close. Close enough that you feel Ness planning your murder from across the field. Close enough to warrant a harassment complaint.

You assume Kaiser must be looking for miniscule flaws to fake laugh at like a missing eyelash or the fact that you have pores, but instead of doing what you predicted, after a long while of making you almost throw up from nerves — what's with this guy and staring at you like a microbe under a telescope so much? — he says, “You have beautiful sclera.”

???

You bristle at the sound of the strange thing he said. Unperturbed by your visibility negative reaction, Kaiser continues,

“And I love the way you look at me, like you want to kill me. It gives me a thrill.”

What's wrong with this guy? you think to yourself.

“Your bone structure can almost rival mine-”

“Kaiser, stop talking nonsense and go… back to doing something else somewhere away from me.”

“Hmph.” He backs off to a more socially appropriate distance, crossing his arms. “I see you still haven't fixed your attitude.”

“Me? I need to fix my attitude?! When you're the one acting like a depraved person?”

“Wow, if you think that's what I'm doing, you must not understand anything about the world at all,” he says in a condescending tone, smirking at you with played up amusement.

“You have some nerve! Kaiser, go away before I take advantage of my position and put rat poison in your water bottle. It'd suit you to go out that way.”

“You're so obsessed with me.”

After that declaration, he whips around to make a dramatic and majestic exit, with a deliberate swat of his hair to your face. Maybe you'll be spitting out gross blue strands after this. You fume to yourself.

#4 Light touches

Once again, Kaiser is plaguing you. Today's method of inflicting trauma seems to involve more gratuitous touching than usual.

He awkwardly drags his hand over your shoulder.

You stare at him as if this is the most scandalous offense you've been on the receiving end of. Maybe it's not, but he's been walking on your nerves all day with other such inept attempts at caresses. “Did you just wipe something on my sleeve?”

“What?” he asks in a flat tone. “No. Are you dumb?”

Your expression doesn't show anything other than incredulity. Certainly not the fluster and admiration Kaiser is hoping for.

You then go right back to ignoring him like he is dust. This is outrageous, he's going to be sick. Kaiser takes fate into his hands and embraces you stiffly from behind (once again showing his lack of etiquette).

Startled, you ask, “Are you gonna put me in an octopus hold?”

“No? Do you always have to assume I'm going to do something bad to you?”

“Well, it's not like you ever do anything good.”

Kaiser lets go of you even though he doesn't want to — truly a moment of his character development you're witnessing —, his arms dropping limply by his sides while he frowns at you like a kicked kitty. Exquisite manipulation tactic, however, you're not moved by the display at all.

He says, “I still think you need to fix your attitude.”

You roll your eyes and let him have his little moment with his snide remark. An immediate retort hasn't come to mind after all, and you'd rather play it off as disregarding him than admit to the shameful lack of a comeback. It's not your fault his incomprehensible behavior leaves you speechless, anyway.

#5 Be there for them

Kaiser decides to skip this one as it's even more vile than when he lowered himself enough to the point he tried to hug you.

#6 Use humor

Kaiser stands in front of you, trying to think of something funny to say, which isn't an activity he engages in often (as the comedy of his existence is often unintentional or manifests in the form of being a bitch for no reason and antagonizing people unprovoked). During this process, you're once more forced to endure the weight of his unrelenting, vacant stare.

“I have a controversial football opinion,” says Kaiser, finally.

“As usual.”

“The ball is sentient and it hates getting kicked around like that.”

You tilt your head, not understanding why Michael Kaiser would say something so… silly? “Well, I'm sure you take some delight in imagining that,” you say in an unsure voice, not knowing how else to reply.

Kaiser smirks at you in an attempt to shrug off his latest failure and feign casualness. Then he tries again because his spirit is as tenacious as his gawping. “You should always make sure to distinguish between ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I apologize’ at a funeral.”

“Why? Do you speak from experience? Is that a little slip up from when you attended the funeral of one of all those people you killed?”

“No. I think if I killed someone, I'd be the type to facetiously say ‘rest in peace,’ just to piss them off in the afterlife.”

“I can imagine you doing that. Good for you I guess.”

Kaiser snickers to himself — maybe because he's enjoying imagining all his enemies dead — and plays with his fingers in an almost nervous manner, which makes you question if you're perhaps hallucinating. He ponders if he's funny or not.

#7 Text them

(04:55 AM) Michael Kaiser: [5 image attachments]

(06:32 AM) You: why are you sending me shirtless mirror pics lol

(06:46 AM) Michael Kaiser: Wrong person

(06:50 AM) You: did you mean to send that to ness

(07:02 AM) Michael Kaiser: No

(07:05 AM) Michael Kaiser: ???

(07:43 AM) You: well you only talk to me and him so if it's not for us who else could it be for

(07:44 AM) You: lol don't tell me you did that to seem sought after haha

(07:48 AM) Michael Kaiser: Let's stop talking for a little while.

#8 Give them attention

Kaiser gives you plenty of attention, and he doesn't even make you do tricks for it. Like for example right now, when he's poking you in the ribs while you're trying to fill out something unfinished on the tablet during your break.

You slap his hand away. “Kaiser. What.”

He moves onto poking your neck instead, forcing you to wiggle away from him as he continues his antics despite your dodging.

“What do you want?!”

“I just don't want you to feel neglected by me,” he says in a tone he probably believes is suave.

“I don't.”

“You're trying to seem brave, but your eyes give you away.”

“You're crazy,” you say, not even in shock or embarrassment, but rather a very apparent disorientation. “If anything I've been overdosing on you lately.”

“There’s never enough of me. You don't need to pretend just to humble me. It's not cute nor clever.”

“Kaiser, quit it before I cut off your finger and poke you with it instead.”

To your surprise, Kaiser stops. You watch him warily for a few seconds before feeling safe enough to turn around and try doing your work again.

Kaiser pokes you on the sides.

#9 Playful teasing

“You look like shit today,” greets Kaiser with a smirk, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “Did they let the clown academy off early today?”

“Kaiser, you're so immature.” You shrug him off. Usually you'd allow the contact, granted he's not being rude or creepy, but he's done the former a nanosecond into the conversation, so you're not going to stand for it.

“I assume you're stupid or uptight enough to take me seriously. That's always fun.”

“Trust me, you're the last person in the world I'd take seriously.”

“No, but really, you're quite unencumbered by the standards of beauty today.”

“So I'm ugly and stupid? Awesome, thank you so much.”

His traitorous hand which had grabbed at your shoulder earlier moves lower around your waist instead, pulling you closer. At his actions, you squint your eyes and look at him as if he is a dirty wet sock. “Don't worry, I'd still take you though.”

This horrendous thing he just uttered makes you gape in shock. Then it morphs into disgust, and you smack him on the arm and retch at him.

#10 Mention being single

You expect something horrific to happen this time when Kaiser approaches you, but instead, out of the blue, unprovoked, nobody asked or moved — as most things are with him — he announces, “By the way, I'm single.”

You raise an eyebrow at him, not sure what to do with this information. “Yeah, that figures.”

“What do you mean? Tons of people want me, but I don't want them back. That's why I'm available, that's all.”

“Don't explain yourself to me, I don't care,” you say flippantly, crossing your arms and shifting your weight to one leg.

“Well, you should.”

“Sure, Mr. ‘Sorry Wrong Chat.’” You snort.

Kaiser upturns his nose and glares at you. “You’re mischaracterizing me and presenting that whole situation wrong. For one, I didn't say sorry.” Then he scoots closer to you, grinning without smiling with his eyes whatsoever. “Anyway, I'll forgive you. As long as you remember the main point, which is that I'm single.”

“I know, dipshit.”

“Wow, can't you rub your little brain cells together, the whole two of them, and understand what I've been getting at?” Kaiser snaps, frustrated that the fruits of his incompetent labor aren't ready for reaping yet.

“It's not my fault you can't say whatever you have to say properly,” you say, delivering your line in a pointed tone so that he can grasp the implication you're making this time.

Kaiser blinks with the small frown still on his face, a remnant of his earlier scowling. Then realization sets in and his lips form a thin line instead. His cheeks color slightly.

You're fucking with him on purpose.

___

Some slop I wrote on my phone on vacation in between drinking and sweltering in my own gooch in the sun. Enjoy or don't

fine shyt -> chopped shyt pipeline

god... how much he's changed... barcha vs pxg...

Michael Kaiser has a habit of bending down to your level (if you're shorter than him), hands on his hips, sassying you whenever the two of you have an argument.

You can't help but leave the room everytime he does this. It leaves you weak in the knees and the score Michael 1 - You 0.

surname? that IS your name, sir 🤨🤨

— 𝖿𝗍. 𝗂𝗍𝗈𝗌𝗁𝗂 𝗌𝖺𝖾, 𝗂𝗍𝗈𝗌𝗁𝗂 𝗋𝗂𝗇, 𝖼𝗁𝗂𝗀𝗂𝗋𝗂 𝗁𝗒𝗈𝗆𝖺, 𝗆𝗂𝗄𝖺𝗀𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝗈, 𝗇𝖺𝗀𝗂 𝗌𝖾𝗂𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗋𝗈, 𝗈𝗅𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝖺𝗂𝗄𝗎, 𝗆𝗂𝖼𝗁𝖺𝖾𝗅 𝗄𝖺𝗂𝗌𝖾𝗋, 𝗌𝗁𝗂𝖽𝗈𝗎 𝗋𝗒𝗎𝗌𝖾𝗂 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝗍𝗈𝗒𝖺 𝖾𝗂𝗍𝖺

— 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖼𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆 𝖻𝗒 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝗇𝖺𝗆𝖾

— 𝖼𝗐: 𝗌𝗐𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀; 𝗈𝖿𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿 𝗃𝗈𝗄𝖾𝗌; 𝗈𝗈𝖼 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗋𝖺𝖼𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗌?; 𝗈𝗅𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝖺𝗂𝗄𝗎; 𝗌𝗁𝗂𝖽𝗈𝗎 𝖻𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺 𝗁𝗈𝗋𝗇𝖽𝗈𝗀

— 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝖽𝖾𝖺 𝗌𝗎𝖽𝖽𝖾𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝗈𝖼𝖼𝗎𝗋𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗂 𝖺𝗆 𝖲𝖮 𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗉𝗒 𝗂𝗍 𝖽𝗂𝖽 😭😭😭 𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝖺𝗍 𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝗂 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗂 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝖺𝖻𝗅𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖻𝖾𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗆𝗒 2 𝖽𝖺𝗒 𝗂𝗇𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗏𝗂𝗍𝗒 😭😭😭 𝖠𝖭𝖸𝖶𝖠𝖸𝖲𝖲𝖲 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝖺 𝖻𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋 <3 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗅𝗆𝗄 𝗂𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗀𝗎𝗒𝗌 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝖺 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍 2!!; 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗆𝗉𝗌 𝖽𝗈𝗇’𝗍 𝗆𝖺𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖾𝗑𝖼𝖾𝗉𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗋𝗂𝗇’𝗌 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍 :)) (𝖫𝖬𝖠𝖮𝖮𝖮 𝖨 𝖥𝖴𝖬𝖡𝖫𝖤𝖣 𝖱𝖨𝖭'𝖲 𝖠𝖭𝖣 𝖢𝖧𝖨𝖦𝖱𝖨’𝖲 𝖯𝖠𝖱𝖳𝖲 𝖲𝖮 𝖡𝖠𝖣 𝖨𝖬 𝖲𝖮 𝖲𝖮𝖱𝖱𝖸 𝖦𝖴𝖸𝖲 😭😭😭😭

gang i kinda lost the silly juice at the end 😭😭😭 BUT STILL, I HOPE THIS WAS ENJOYABLE FOR EVERYONE!!! thanks for reading and hope to see you soon! comments, reblogs and likes are very much appreciated <33

compression shirts and itoshi rin needs to be listed as a cause for heart attacks.

some might say they’re a deadly duo.

and you most certainly could agree with that statement since you’ve experienced first hand.

rin walks past you and you notice from the blurry figure that he’s wearing an unfamiliar shirt that looks way tighter than what he usually opts for. as per usual, you call out to him, “where you goin’?” you ask, still not looking up from your phone screen.

he almost scoffs at the stupidly obvious question. “where you do you think?” he rolls his eyes, turning to face you—that’s where you get the full image and oh my word.

stupid ass grey sweatpants he always wears and that unfamiliar tight shirt that was on your mind—a freaking compression shirt!

“i—oh…” your mouth widens to an ‘o’ shape once you finally comprehend everything. it’s almost surreal but you could imagine him wearing it one day—but not this day! “what?” “when did you get that?” “it was just in my closet.”

he shrugs. HE SHRUGS.

like no big deal, he’s off to wherever.

you can’t help but roll around after he’s already left you alone with you thoughts—your thoughts of how him being a gym FREAK and an athletic fuck really has an impact on you.

oh yeah, you’re totally gonna die soon.

and why the fuck did he never tell you he had a black compression shirt in his closet.

sticky note. this man is a walking heart attack cause

babe! i saw a hottie on the field 🙏🙏

》 trying something new (again) with a silly chat au! (poopy resolution tho 😭😭) 》 ft. itoshi sae, shidou ryusei, itoshi rin, kaiser michael, mikage reo and nagi seishiro; kinda self-insert because this is how i type irl 😭😭; no specified gender but implied fem!reader in mikage's part but idc boys and men and the like can do their nails and hair 😍😍; kinda suggestive in shidou and kaiser's parts?!#?!; may be ooc 🙏🙏😓😓😓; cringe (i am ashamed yet proud of this one); timestamps aren't important!

as always, read for a banger 😓🙏

HIIII!! apologies for the bad resolution 😭 still trying to figure out these kinds of aus! nevertheless, i hope this was enjoyable for everyone!! thank you for reading and hope to see you again :)) reblogs, comments and likes are very much appreciated!!

he actually gets no game those are actually from mosquito bites, ness being an actual dog and their pet cat