Nar1vd - Vae

Just just think about this

May I request some 🌱with hurried confessions in the middle of a grave battle; someone pulled in to officiate; and perhaps accidental radio broadcasting of aforementioned confession? 🌱🌱🌱🌱

you absolutely may! think this scene when you’re reading this! this is complete crack but it’s also everything I want.  1k+ words of it. 

-

This was bad. So bad. Left and right ships were getting blown up, but it was their side that was taking the heaviest hit. There was every chance that they weren’t going to make it out of this alive.

And the moment the anxiety became way too much to handle, Lance just found himself unable to keep it to himself any longer.

“PIDGE! PIDGE IT’S ALWAYS BEEN YOU! YOU NEED TO KNOW! I LOVE YOU!”

There was an awkward three second pause that followed and Lance’s heart was hammering against his ribcage. Was that too much? He didn’t know if it was the fear of imminent doom or her rejection that was causing the bile to rise up in his throat.

“REALLY?! NOW?” her response was immediate but when her image appeared on his dashboard, she looked anything but irritated. Confusion and just a flicker of hope were the best ways to describe her expression.

“I HAD TO! NOW MIGHT BE THE ONLY TIME!” he yelled, annoyed at how high-pitched his voice was.

Voltron was dodging and firing and it was nearly a full minute before Pidge spoke again.

“THEN YOU SHOULD KNOW…ugh…I’VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU. SINCE WE MET. ALWAYS. YOU KNOW?”

“REALLY?” Lance didn’t care in that moment enough to contain the burst of happiness. That was until Hunk spoke up.

“GUYS! I’m really happy for you but first of all, now is NOT the time and second of all, you just broadcast this whole spiel out to the ENTIRE BATTLEFIELD!”

Lance froze and his eyes moved to the dashboard and his eyes widened in horror to see that Hunk was absolutely correct. The Paladins, Atlas, the Coalition, the Alteans, and their enemies had all heard them.

“Uhhh…”

“Everyone heard you. Literally everyone,” Allura’s voice was low and careful. 

“Indeed we did…” he could hear Lotor’s voice over the intercom. It was calm, but Lance could just feel the edge of annoyance.

“Yes, was this really the time?” Honerva’s voice sounded unusually tired and resigned. But like her son, there was that edge of irritation.

“Uh guys, you couldn’t have saved this for after…?” Shiro sighed.

Keith didn’t say anything but Lance could just tell that he probably wanted to strangle him in that moment for having to make him listen to all of that. The feeling of horror only intensified when he realized that if everyone on the battlefield could hear them, that means Matt and Commander Holt had most definitely heard them. Same with Veronica. Their families were at command too, so they likely heard it. He wanted to hide his face in that moment. The whole universe, quite literally, just heard him declare his love for Pidge.

“Focus,” Keith deadpanned over the comm. Yeah, Lance was definitely dead for this later if this didn’t kill him now.

Well in that case, to hell with it all…

“Pidge…there’s a chance that we may not make it out of this alive. Will you marry me? Right here and now?”

“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!” a chorus of voices yelped out and while it normally would have made Lance jump, he found it easy to ignore. He was focused only on Pidge’s shell shocked face.

“Are you hearing yourself right now?” she asked. “Are you okay? Did you hit your head?”

Lance shook his head as they dodged yet another blast coming towards him, “Nope! Thinking with 100% clarity!”

“You two, would you please?” Allura’s exasperated voice began saying.

“You…want to marry…me?” she asked.

“Oh for the love of the ancients, HE JUST SAID THAT! Accept his proposal and put us all out of our misery!” Lotor said, exasperated. It was rather funny to hear Lotor so irritated but Lance found that he couldn’t quite enjoy it at the moment.

A long few seconds went by.

“Yes! Yes I will!” she chirped.

“Pidge…what?!” he could hear the surprise in Matt’s voice. Yeah he was getting murdered for this later. Totally worth it.

“I’m 19. And I love him. For years! I might not get another chance!” she responded.

“Keith! Marry us!” Lance requested.

“I’M A LITTLE BUSY AT THE MOMENT!” Keith growled.

“Lotor?” Pidge asked.

“AS TOUCHED AS I AM THAT YOU THINK I AM WORTHY, I AM A LITTLE BUSY TRYING NOT TO GET KILLED OVER HERE!”

“Allura?” Lance tried.

“ASK ME WHEN WE’RE NOT IN A LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION!”

“Coran? Coran are you there? PLEASE!?”

And finally, finally they heard a little approval in all this.

“Why yes! I would love to!”

“Coran, what are you-?” they heard Shiro asked.

“Friends, allies, mortal enemies, we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony…”

“You have got to be joking…” Lance heard someone say, but he was too in the moment to really figure out who it was.

And just then another attack came hurling towards them, interrupting Coran. They dodged it successfully but they just kept on coming. At this point, there would be no way they could finish this.

Ah screw it, if you wanted something done right, do it yourself.

“KATIE HOLT, DO YOU TAKE ME TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED HUSBAND? TO LOVE AND TO CHERISH? IN SICKNESS OR IN HEALTH, BLAH BLAH BLAH, FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER?”

“I do!” she answered.

“Awesome!”

“LANCE, DO YOU TAKE ME TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED WIFE? TO LOVE AND TO CHERISH, A BUNCH OF PROMISES AND VOWS I CAN’T REMEMBER, ETC. ETC. FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER?”

“YOU BET I DO!” he answered.

“I now pronounce you man and wife…you may now kiss-” Coran started declaring but they were under even more fire now.

“You may now kiss-” he tried again, with a similar result.

“JUST KISS!” everyone simultaneously screamed at them.

Well there was no way they could kiss so they both leaned in and kissed the dashboard.

“Okay, you owe me one on the ground,” she said, in all seriousness.

“Your wish is my command, wife,” he winked, getting a giddy feeling from the fact that he now had a wife.

“WOULD YOU TWO FOCUS NOW? LANCE TURN OFF THE INTERCOM AND FOCUS FOR JUST A FEW MINUTES!” Keith yelled and it sounded like his vocal cords were getting shredded from the yelling.

He did so and then with a rejuvenated sense of certainty and a smile, “Alright guys, let’s do this!”

Yup. Totally worth it…

Diversity win! I’m bisexual and I’m going to kill you!

Tsukasa: we have your son

Yashiro: i don't have a son

Tsukasa: then who threatened to exorcise me with some fucking stick?

Yahiro: shit- YOU HAVE KOU

Sly bastard.

let's go to the beach - beach, let's go get away

[based on this]

i want to share with you some of my favourite graffiti from Pompeii

“Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!“ 

“Amplicatus, I know that Icarus is buggering you. Salvius wrote this.“ 

“We two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus.“

“Floronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion, was here. The women did not know of his presence. Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion.“

“On April 19th, I made bread.“

“ I have buggered men.“

“If anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my girlfriend.“

“It took 640 paces to walk back and forth between here and there ten times.“

“Chie, I hope your hemorrhoids rub together so much that they hurt worse than when they every have before!“

“Epaphra is not good at ball games.”

“Two friends were here.  While they were, they had bad service in every way from a guy named Epaphroditus.  They threw him out and spent 105 and half sestertii most agreeably on whores.“

“Secundus likes to screw boys.“

Don’t touch that. (Again)