Two Years Have Already Passed...

I see so many reflections today from different people: someone woke up from the explosions, some from a phone call, some woke up and saw hundreds of notifications from different telegram channels. It is still so unimaginably bizarre. I have no ability to put into words the feeling of your world falling apart and we didn’t even understand half of the danger that was surrounding us. We were so damn close to disaster with half of Europe believing that nothing good will come out of it.

Ukrainians didn’t care what Europeans thought though, I personally saw news pieces about "Russia will take control of Kyiv" a lot later, somewhere in May, when Ukrainian military took control over the north of the country. And I’m so eternally grateful to every Ukrainian who made sure that all this "experts" sat in those flashy studios red from guilt. I’m grateful for my life, I’m grateful for our Ukraine. She persist. She is still the love of our lives. She’s hurt and devastated but she lives despite all the attempts to destroy her. Same as us. Somehow still here.

Yet I feel more detached from the western world than ever and I’m so fucking jealous of you all. It’s not even about the rockets or shakheds - somewhere along the lines you accept the fact that you may die in any moment - it’s about normal things like your Twitter feed that doesn’t look like a necrology, military terms that don’t make any sense to you, your city that doesn’t stop everyday to mourn the dead, you don’t feel guilty for trying to live a normal life while your classmate, who wanted to be a director, posts stories from the trenches. All of that and more. I’m not even entitled to my emotions because there always will be someone who says that my country is not suffering enough. I no longer react to comments like this as emotionally as I’ve done before but it is still so bizarre to see stuff like that from people whose countries have always been the one to inflict suffering on others.

I may sound mean or sarcastic or whatever but there is so much negativity inside of us that was put there by people like I’ve mentioned above that it is going to be released from time to time. "Your country shouldn’t exist", "Only 9 thousand killed", "You all are nazis/racist/zionists/any of the -ist terms" - yet you should always react in a constructive way because the moment you let your emotions go, you are the worst person on the planet. But who am I kidding, some people here do believe that we are. There is a thousand bad people with sketchy patches in a 40-million country and suddenly "That’s why I no longer support Ukraine". Well, honey, that means you never did. Because Syrian flags were quickly replaced with Ukrainian ones and just as quickly with Palestinian. It’s not about the "Support the oppressed", it’s "Anything to not feel guilty" because then you’ll find the reason to hate Palestinians, just as you did with us. If only you cared about the problematic shit happening in you country as much as you care about our political and social life.

But there are people who still are there for us. Countries that are still here. We may not say it as often but we are thankful. So very thankful for everything you’ve done and are doing for us. Thank you for hearing us and uplifting our voices.

Recently one of the most beautiful people here have lost her life defending me and you. She was always in my notes, always making sure that we didn’t feel uncomfortable even if she of all the people had all the right to be upfront about her thoughts and feelings. I don’t think I will ever get rid of the feeling of guilt. She was there while I wasn’t. She said to mourn her through anger. Anger towards the oppressor. Anger that should be directed into something useful: donations, sharing info, contacting your MPs and so on.

The soldier‘s death is not something out of ordinary during the war, it’s not considered a war crime but what if half of the army are civilians? Volunteers who left their homes to protect them. What if the soldier was a teacher, a poet, an actor, an IT-specialist, a scientist, what then? Isn’t it a tragedy? My country is loosing yet another generation of beautiful talented people and it makes my view of the future even darker.

But what can I say? I’m still here. My country still stands. Ukrainian air defence is doing everything possible and impossible to protect the lives of the civilians. Ukrainian military is still the only thing keeping us all alive. Heroes, titans, gods. Glory to them. Eternal glory to those who lost their lives defending Ukraine.

To Ukrainians: якось буде, прорвемся.

the saying "ignorance is bliss" was right because what the fuck is this

on this day two years ago, russia's missile attack on the Kramatorsk train station killed 61 civilians trying to evacuate.

the attack targeted a vital lifeline for those fleeing war-torn regions. we will never forget and will never forgive. please stand with Ukraine in our fight for freedom and peace.

Buy Me A Coffee sanctioned Ukraine and banned Ukrainian creators from their platform.

The cited reason appears to be "because Russia occupies 20% of your country"

To all those who died alone in the Russian occupation

🕯 "To all those who died alone in the Russian occupation". Muzychi village, Kyiv region

These are the words on the tombstone that stands on the grave of the mother of Ukrainian artist Alevtina Kakhidze. The artist installed it in 2021. This memorial project consists of six marble doors that replicate the location of the doors in the house of Alevtina's mother, known as Klyubnyka Andriivna, in the village of Zhdanivka, Donetsk region, as well as concrete porch steps recreated in real life. When the war in eastern Ukraine broke out, the artist's mother was unable to leave her home despite her daughter's persuasion. Alevtina dedicated a series of works to her mother, which were shown at exhibitions in Ukraine and abroad. Kakhidze's mother died in 2019 - her heart stopped while crossing one of the checkpoints controlled by the militants of the so-called "Donetsk People's Republic". She was buried in the Kyiv region.

This is not the kind of message that children should receive from their parents "If we are killed, all the documents are in the basement."

This is what I mean when I say that we cannot negotiate and freeze the conflict. Because children from the occupied territories, who are now 14-17 years old, will be fighting against us in five years.

Don't be indifferent. Make Russia pay. Please hear our cry out to the world, keep spreading our voices, and donate to our army and combat medics (savelife.in.ua, prytulafoundation.org, Serhii Sternenko, hospitallers.life, ptahy.vidchui.org, and u24.gov.ua).

I'm not calling any names and not getting into a personal confrontation. But with this comment under one of my recent posts I wanted to show you what a rare "normal" "good" russian looks like.

Ukrainians online and offline mostly get called slurs by russians, but the stereotypical "you knokhol pigs have no right to exist" shit doesn't evoke any feelings anymore. In me, at least. It's rare comments like this that truly get to me.

Let's set things straight: do I think it's easy being russian now? Do I think all russian people are bloodthirsty monsters who want to kill us all? Do I think all of them are doing absolutely nothing to oppose the regime? No. To all of the above.

But it's with the russian "liberal opposition" that you most often get the "we're sorry and ashamed, but…" You know how in relationships with abusive, manipulative, self-involved people you never get to hear a sincere apology? It's always "sorry but" – either "but I suffer too", "I am not to blame", "I had no bad intentions" etc. That's the same thing with most of the "good" russians.

Do I think it's fair that some of them had to leave their homes and their country behind, when they never voted for putin and didn't "want the war"? No. Things are rarely fair in this world. But you can just say you're ashamed by your nation, or you're devastated by the fact that your countrymen recently killed 20 innocent people, including 9 children, with a ballistic missile, in the middle of the day. You don't have to add your personal struggles commenting on such news, to show that you are also a victim.

Especially when you're commenting on a blog run by a Ukrainian living in Ukraine. You have no idea what most of us have been or are going through, what or who we have lost because of your country. I lost not only my home, but my city, and some other cities near and dear to me, like my grandma's town where I spent all my summer breaks - lie in ruins. Uninhabitable. Nothing but a pile of rubble. Because your country destroyed it.

We don't need to hear how sorry and ashamed you are, when it doesn't come from a place of sincerity and accountability. You can make this about yourself under the posts about russian struggles, or in your own space. Don't come to us with this shit. Our ability to empathise with you gets crippled by each day our people die and our cities get vaporized.

I’d appreciate if you read and remember this:

Images source:

Four months ago this incredible family was blessed with a beautiful boy Timofey

Today he and his mother Anna were found under the rubble after russian drone attack on Odesa:

This is 3 years old Mark with his mother Anastasia. Tomorrow he could celebrate his birthday:

…but he won’t. His body was found under the rubble this morning. Along with his dad’s. His mother is in critical condition in a hospital.

This is their house in Odesa. One of the hundreds of thousands Ukrainian houses ruined by russia. 8 people killed. Zero military sense, pure terrorism. That’s just what russia does. Every day. For more than 2 years.

This is Tara. She’s a rescue dog. Today, Tara, along with two other service dogs and rescuers, found the body of a murdered child in the ruins. Tara lay down and cried:

I’d very much want to lay down and cry too. But I can’t. I can’t feel anything anymore. I’m just very very cold.

(c) artist Olexiy Kustovskiy

Animation for my uni project :)👍

It’s rushed, I wish I could work on it better cuz I think it’s a pretty good base

I love when people say that war in Ukraine is being constantly "shoved down their throats" in the news but for some reason I hear on a daily basis "oh I thought war was over a long time ago" lol