Exactly, Like Wtf.

Treating your headmates like separate people isn't worsening your condition by default by the way. Treating them with respect isn't making you dissociate more. Final fusion is a fine thing to try and achieve, but people need to understand that functional multiplicity is a thing you can work to achieve in therapy too. Please stop pushing the idea that you need to treat your headmates like a disorder or curse in order to heal. You can be happily multiple if you want that.

You’ve got to forgive yourself for being traumatized and needing to learn how to function again. 

Recovery isn’t always nightmares and depression, it’s forgetting to eat, being scared of what others might see as completely normal things, it’s getting random panic attacks, not knowing how to take care of yourself, not knowing how to live like an adult, even if you’re twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, of feeling like you’re failing to function in a world where everyone seems to have their shit together. 

If you need help, ask for it. Go to forums and ask for advice. Take advantage of community resources. Buy pre-sliced veggies and fruits, eat instant meals if you can’t cook for yourself today. Hire someone. Ask a neighbor for a favor. Buy any item you think might make life easier, even if you feel like you aren’t ‘disabled’ enough to have it. 

Some of the depression posts (ie open your windows, take a shower, go outside, call a friend) are really helpful but they’re not always enough. I’ve found advice for spoonies, people with chronic pain or other disabilities have the best tips because they know what it’s like to be bedridden, out of energy, stuck in a brain fog. 

You may never return back to the energy you had when you were younger and you might always need to use crutches to help you through life. It’s the same with medication. 

Trauma is a real thing that happens to you, it physically alters your brain and it’s alright to have lasting scars. 

You’re not broken, your life is not over and you can still be happy. 

It’s not your fault.

Omg so relatable.

What I mean when I do not control the hyperfixation.

I will always stand in solidarity with the psychotic and schizospec community.

If you don't judge people for saying "sorry adhd brain" in public, then don't judge people for saying "sorry schizophrenia brain" in public

If you correct people when they misuse the term "ocd" then you need to correct people when they misuse the terms "psychotic", "delusional", "hallucinating" and "schizophrenic"

If you don't stare, laugh at or fear a stranger in public flapping their hands, then you need to do the same for a stranger in public talking to someone who isn't actually there.

If you give a trigger warning to sensitive topics then you need to give a trigger warning to unreality and false information as a prank.

If you want to normalize medication like antidepressants you also need to normalize medications like antipsychotics.

If you don't like people without your disorder joking about it online and report it as harassment, then you need to do the same for the tons of nonschizophrenics making "schizoposting" memes to make fun of us.

Just please include schizo-spec and psychotic acceptance into your mental illness/neurodiversity acceptance. We are part of your community whether you like it or not. We are constantly stigmatized, misrepresented and made fun of. We do what we can to help you, please return the favor.

Mental illness/neurodiversity acceptance is an ongoing action. We will get nowhere in the long run if we split the community into the "in" group and the "out" group. We could all accomplish so much if we worked together. But you need to include the "weird" people that don't fit into your aesthetic and don't fit the social norms.

Us psychotics and schizo-specs have been struggling for years and have been the only people fighting for ourselves while the people we plead to barely see us as human. If you are nonpsychotic and nonschizo-spec, you can help us more than you realize. Please include us and stick up for us the same way we have been including and sticking up for you.

As awareness of plurality continues to spread online, that also means more and more people will realize they are plural. And unfortunately, there will be a response from certain gatekeepy exclusionist types, who will push back against these newfound systems and insist on invalidating them. They’ll insist they’re just hopping on a trend, or just fooling themselves, or whatever other justification they can make up to maintain the idea that being plural is extremely rare and being plural means suffering for it.

Don’t fall for it. Being plural presents challenges and difficulties without question, but being plural also can bring joys and clarity that weren’t possible otherwise. Being plural can be hard, and it can be beautiful.

No two systems present and function exactly the same ways. No two systems are plural for the exact same reasons. So we can’t expect there to be an absolute common trait present in every system. So any attempt to weed out the “fakers” is pointless and malicious.

If someone believes themself to be plural, they have good reason to. No further “proof” needed. If someone comes to us believing themself to be plural, we will help them along without critique or question. And above all we will be happy for them. Even if someday they realize they aren’t plural, that process of being allowed to question and experiment is so important, and they should be allowed to do so regardless of where they end up.

Plurality is a spectrum that encompasses a vast swathe of experiences and outlooks. It can be difficult to reckon with, which is why community is so vital. And as that community online grows and becomes more and more visible, we should all do our part, systems and singlets, to make sure these newfound systems feel safe, seen, and welcome.

Undiagnosed systemhood is

Thinking you just have no sense of self, and that's why your "personality" keeps changing.

Feeling like you're watching someone else operate your body, with no idea how or why.

Having strange deja vu moments where you feel like you've done something, but you don't remember any specific details.

Feeling like years of your life weren't actually lived by you, but by someone else that still exists somewhere in you.

Saying things that you can't control or don't agree with and not being able to do anything to fix it.

Feeling like you don't belong in your body, like you aren't actually you.

Exactly, all systems are different in their own, beautiful ways.

Just like knowing an autistic person means you know one autistic person, knowing a system means you know one system. Systemhood/plurality is an incredibly diverse experience and it's impossible to get the full scope of the lives of every system out there by talking to one system, or even just a handful.

What feels restricting to one system may fit another perfectly. What feels comfortable to one system may make another feel dehumanized. Something that's a common experience in one system may be downright impossible in another. And on and on with many personal preferences and experiences.

This is fine, and normal. We're all unique, whether that's unique as individuals or unique as collectives. Just remember that the way one system works has no bearing on how another works; do not presume you know everything about systems just due to your own experiences or those you've talked to. It all depends on the system/plural/person in question.

practices to bond with your deities

i'm most familiar with Greco-Roman deities so i'll use them for examples, but feel free to ask me about a specific deity! which Greco-Roman deity you should work according to your birth chart indications

communication

say "good morning" / "good night" - this is not only out of respect but developing a habit to include them more and more in day to day life

talk to them - whether you're expressing gratitude, praying, asking for advice, or even just talking to them about your day, this will show you are thinking about them and looking up to them. if you feel uncomfortable or can't talk out loud, a journal works just as well

write to them - speaking or journaling, writing is an art form they will appreciate. make journal entries to them, write them a poem or a song. it doesn't have be a fancy, even just phrases here and there will make a huge difference

document your experiences - after spending time with them, write down how it went. keep track of what they seem to like, what they tell you, even small details that don't seem to stick out because when you go back and look, they might stick out then or you might notice patterns

share your food - giving your deity a small portion of your food each time you eat is a way to communicate your honor and respect to them, and also learn what foods/drinks they enjoy

divination - this is more than just tarot cards! there's other forms of cartomancy, there's dowsing, numerology, etc. i personally use astrology <3

connect with their energy - doing activities that appeal to your deity regularly with strengthen your connection with them. for example, my deities are Diana/Artemis and Luna/Selene, so I spend a lot of time in nature, especially at night under the moonlight

honoring

research them in great detail - to get to know your deity, learn everything there is to know: names and epithets, symbols, attributes (plants trees, stones, animals, planets, week days, etc.) domains, family, popular stories and myths

cook a full meal - you can decide on a meal that is associated with them (like steak for Mars/Ares) but you don't have to, either way just dedicating time and energy to make an entire meal just for them will say a lot

altar - this is probably what you will hear the most, but don't feel heavy pressure. it doesn't have to be huge, fancy, or expensive; you can start out with literally just a candle and some leaves. slowly over time decorate and personalize it to your and your deity's liking

offerings - this is more than just sharing your food with them, it's actually giving something solely to them. have you ever been in the mood for a certain food even though you weren't hungry at all? that might be them hinting that they want it. gifts that you think they'd like or you felt called to get, including crafts you made yourself

share your worship - i want to say this is 100% not a necessity, so don't feel stressed if there is no one you can talk to about your deity work. i have no one to talk to about it, but i share freely on this blog and am trying to make friends online who i can share with! not only is sharing a way to show respect and love for them, but others can give you ideas of devotion and connection

creation/digital

going digital is a great way to worship and connect with your deity, especially if you cannot be open about it

make a playlist - include songs that remind you of them or that you'd think they'd like that involve their domains or stories/myths

art - literally any form of art they will appreciate. music like singing or songwriting, drawing, painting, sculpture, literature like reading books they'd like or writing stories, poems, songs, etc., dancing, theater or acting, or literally anything else. you can get specific, like learning an instrument for Apollo

exploring - exploring areas you think they'd like or just new areas in general. you might find points of interest they'd enjoy (like crossroads for Hecate), or see/hear their sacred animals, or find things that coincide with their stories/attributes/symbols

spending time with them through hobbies - the best way i can describe this is through examples: going to parties/celebrating for Bacchus/Dionysus, cleaning and taking care of your home for Vesta/Hestia, gardening for Ceres/Demeter or Proserpina/Persephone, taking care of the ocean for Neptune/Poseidon, the list goes on and on. anything that involves their domain

pinterest board - kinda self explanatory, making a pinterest board (or a physical picture board/wall if you prefer) with images of your deity and their symbols/attributes.

phone background - setting your phone background as an image or your deity is not only a sign of honor and respect, but will help you develop the habit of thinking of them regularly. can also spark conversation with others without being direct about your worship!

NORMALIZE IN-SYS RELATIONSHIPS!!!!

Okay aggressive title aside I wanna talk about romantic headmate relationships

I want expressing them to be more normalized!!! I think it's generally well known at this point that headmates can have relationships with each other. But I never see it talked about much beyond that it's a thing that happens.

I wanna hear about how people experience their relationships. I wanna hear what folks do together and how they express their love.

But something we especially wanna hear is how systems do physical affection.

"Physical affection?! But you only have one body!" THAT DOES NOT STOP US IN FACT IT MAKES IT EXTREMELY INTIMATE

We hold our own hands. We kiss our own body. We wrap our arms around ourself. And we want this to be normalized. Okay sure maybe it looks a little odd at first, but this is normal to us. And we want others to see it as normal and okay too.

(I swear to fucking god if "showing headmate affection on camera" becomes the new thing used to fakeclaim like how switching on camera is I will YELL)

I wanna be able to show our affection in front of someone else and make them uncomfortable NOT BECAUSE IT'S OUR OWN BODY but because they're being a third wheel just like to singlet couples.

Omg this makes so much sense.

Omg omg omg. It all makes so much more sense when you realise it's not social anxiety but a fear of being perceived.

Why do you feel more comfortable with a long coat and a mask as opposed to summer clothes?

Why do you DESPISE taking pictures? Especially if it's someone else and not you taking them.

Why do you feel like you have to stop doing whatever it was you were doing when someone passes by?

Why don't you want to tell anyone how leisurely you go about your day, taking a nap, going for a snack, sitting on your phone playing games etc. because you know they will comment on it and even though it's not negative or mockery it's still feels like you've been perceived?

Why can't you make eye contact? Why can you do it only if the other person is looking away but the second when they look at you you stop listening and when you're the one speaking you can't bear to look at them because you know their eyes are on you and they are perceiving you?

Why don't you want to dress excessively or wear nicer clothes? Because you will stand out

People mistake you for shy because you don't speak often, but it's really the fear of drawing attention to yourself more than it is the things you actually say, isn't it?

Why do you hate overpopulated areas even when no one is speaking? BUT you still feel more comfortable when more than one person is in the room (but not too many!) so that the burden of being perceived is directed on someone else and you can safely lay back just observing the scene.

It's all a defence mechanism