Top 3 Places To Bleed Out:

my mutuals can do that too but you dont see any snapple facts about them

therapist: cunt dracula is not real and cannot fuck you.

cunt dracula:

eat him out wednesday or whatever. i've stopped keeping track

Car accents 🐈😺

Favorite Parent-Child dynamic

please god stop talking about diets and weight loss in front of kids. especially if those kids are girls. and especially if you’re someone those kids look up to. but really just stop talking about about diets and weight loss when children are in earshot at all. I promise you you’re doing far more harm than good.

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

Manifesting 🙏

Sighh...