Neyso - Ney

someone probably already made a million post about the thematic relevance of julian’s lecture to the greek clique in chapter 1 in the overall narrative, how so much of what he is saying gets mirrored at various points as the story progresses. after all, this is the lecture that made the greek clique want to perform a bacchanal.

but i just noticed this one little parallel that is making me lose my mind a bit, to be honest.

I always found it peculiar that it was bunny who answered julian here – you’d think he wouldn’t remember the latin name for the erinyes, or that someone else might have said something. yet he is very engaged right now, “his eyes dazzled”.

i think there are two main reasons why bunny is the one who mentions the furies.

the first reason relates to julian’s words before his question. from a narrative point of view, by answering, bunny gets linked to these paragraphs.

“It is a terrible thing to learn as a child that one is a being separate from all the world, that no one and no thing hurts along with one's burned tongues and skinned knees, that one's aches and pains are all one's own. Even more terrible, as we grow older, to learn that no person, no matter how beloved, can ever truly understand us.”

bunny, the one often compared to a child, already before and especially after finding out about the murder starts hurting, worrying, and quickly realizes he is the only one to feel this way. the others are not sharing in his worries. they excluded him from the successful bacchanal, henry mocked him in his diary, and no one confided in him. they hid the fact that they murdered someone from him with apparent ease. after italy, suddenly henry is all chummy with richard, and the group includes him even more – and bunny feels like no one understands him, no one is willing to. they treat him like a dumb child, and try to keep him quiet.

the second reason why I find it peculiar that bunny is the one to answer julian is to be found in julian’s segue to bunny’s answer.

the book often mentions dante, who was led through hell and purgatory by virgil. while the number of erinyes/furies is ambiguous in greek mythology, virgil, in the aeneid, mentions three: alecto (endless anger), megaera (jealous rage), and tisophone (vengeful destruction). and isn’t this the core of bunny’s behaviour prior his murder? his anger towards the rest of the group, and especially henry, at excluding him, mocking him. his jealous rage towards richard. his vengeful destruction – almost revealing what the group has done, exploding at henry, mocking charles’s drinking, deriding and belittling camilla and her relationship with charles, being cruel to francis bc of his sexuality, alienating even richard, who didn’t have much to do with any of this, by trying to expose his lies about his past and how much money he has.

in chapter 5, richard wonders how come bunny was losing his mind and turning against his friends post-murder reveal (pls ignore richard being a pretentious baby btw) and we get this amazing insight from camilla.

in julian’s own words, the erinyes/furies drove people mad by turning “up the volume of the inner monologue, magnif[ying] qualities already present to great excess, ma[king] people so much themselves that they couldn't stand it.”

and isn’t that what camilla is alluding at here? as if possessed by the furies, bunny becomes so much himself, or what he thinks the others see him as – stupid, simple, annoying, less sophisticated than the others – that he cannot bear it, no one can. it all magnifies, all that he thinks the others dislike about him, belittle him for, laugh behind his back about.

there’s also something to be said about julian asking about the erinyes/furies by their greek name and bunny answering with the roman one. when it was in rome with henry that it all started to fall apart. but yeah

I fucking love my Scottish hat. and rain.

If I see one more person talk about how they don’t get why people defend Bunny, and then turn around and talk sweetly about HENRY MARCHBANKS WINTER THE TWO TIME MURDERER (ONLY COUNTING HUMANS, BY THE WAY) I might just go mad

А моря…

I hate how I can never get along with her. It will not work out I shall repeat it more consistently. It didnt work out before and it never will

Jane Austen was born in 1775, so this year marks her 250th birthday (in fact on the 16th December, but I'm doing while the weather is tolerable). So I decided to do what I've often said I would do and take a walk around the villages where she grew up (with Nevis of course - he's a big Austen fan).

According to the leaflet I had, the first church there is St Mary's, where her brother was curate (I was sure it was called something else - maybe some of the names have changed over the years, or I'm remembering wrongly. I could find out but I'm too tired right now). At the end is Deane House I'm pretty sure, home to the Harwood family in her time, so just before that would be Deane Church where her father had been rector in 1773.

Not sure those would have been there in Jane's time. But anyway, in Steventon itself, this phone box has been refurbished as a book exchange:

'Steventon's most famous resident was arguably Jane Austen'. I would say definitely. But maybe I don't know local history as much as I should. Maybe at one time this was the arts capitol of the world.

Anyway obviously there was more. Steventon Rectory where she was born was demolished, and a new rectory built later by her brother after her death. But it was getting pretty late in the afternoon by this point.

Are you okay they ask I respond as quickly as I can so they will not notice the earthquakes in my voice or the tsunamis in my eyes or the drought in my heart.

Ellen Everett

Иногда, я перечитываю твои рассказы и меня уносит в далекую страну разочарований о которой ты рассказывала. Я брожу по осколкам очарований и радостей и мои ступни все в крови. Ты пишешь резко, твои слова ранят и лечат, выразительная и нежная душевная глупость- нельзя любить так, как ты рассказывала, ты ведь точно не думаешь обо мне и не смотришь на мои фотографии, как твои персонажи- а я смотрю.