Neyso - Ney

Karushuu fem 🎀

Longggg time ago

god i love it when gay people are in evil toxic codependent love with each other

Francis visits Henry’s grave every year. Alone.

No one else does — no one else wants to. Charles avoids the topic entirely. Camilla sends Francis clipped replies when he brings it up. Richard pretends he never gets the messages. But Francis marks the day like a liturgy. Like a holy feast. Like penance.

He books the same suite in a faceless hotel. Wears the same black coat. Packs the same silver lighter — an old one Henry once admired in passing. It’s all performative, of course. But what is Catholicism if not grief wrapped in ritual? He fasts before the visit. Doesn't drink the night before. He makes the trip feel like confession.

The grave is unmarked, just a patch of earth in a neglected corner of a rural cemetery, the kind no one visits on purpose. Francis had to dig to find out where Henry was buried. Had to call someone’s widow and lie. But now he knows, and he treats it like a secret shrine.

He kneels every year. Gets the dirt on his trousers, on his coat, lets the damp seep into his bones because suffering feels closer to prayer when it’s physical. And he talks.

Not to Henry. Not really. To God. To himself. To something between the two.

"You ruined everything, you know," he says once. "And so did I."

He breaks off. Lights a cigarette. Doesn’t smoke it. Leaves it burning at the grave like incense. The first year he did this, he left a bottle of scotch. Last year, he left a page torn out of a Latin prayer book. This year, he doesn’t bring anything. He just sits.

And he waits. For something. A sign. An answer. Forgiveness.

But Henry is silent. Always was. Even now, dead and buried, he’s still the one with the upper hand.

And Francis — Francis goes back to the hotel, vomits in the sink, lights another cigarette with shaking hands. He doesn’t cry. Not anymore. It’s been years. But his hands won’t stop trembling.

That night, he goes to mass. Sits in the very back. Doesn't take communion.

He knows better.

guy who is learning something new about himself

Trains of Ghibli

☛ twitter, instagram, website ✉ art print shop

Chuuya is the only man alive who could go toe-to-toe with a god, crack the earth in half, and still lose a verbal fight with Dazai.

Every time he breathes, Dazai’s ghost voice whispers ‘you’re 5’3” and your blood pressure is rising.’

The man can’t win.

One day I will drive my car and listen to the music that I like and everything will be so enchanting and beautiful for me

Headcanon:

Chuuya is an alcoholic and always smells of it, Dazai is a chain smoker and always smells of that, so, during their mafia days, they would always smell of both cause they spend so much time together until Dazai left and someone asked Chuuya if he quit smoking cause he didn't smell of it anymore and he broke down in tears in his room right after

Бог собрал во мне комбинацию самых чудесных чувств: ненависти злости и зависти 🥰 на самом деле я совсем не так ощущаю себя 90% времени но этот месяц меня убивает