Agreed.

Definitely, for a film that was about tragedy, disaster, and death it revolved too much around the romantic tension between a university student that’s close to graduating and a high school student that’s not even in her last year…. The film was lovely, in its own way, of course.

But I think it could have been truly moving and heart wrenching if they ACTUALLY focused on grief and tragedy, how loss and trauma affects relationships. This could’ve been a film about loss and grief, traversing grief together and mourning a family member while trying to rebuild connections, all the while having to acknowledge that disaster may strike again at any moment.

If it explored the mother-daughter connection between Tamaki and Suzume it would have been an entirely different film that spoke to thousands of people who have gone through similar losses in their famlies. The constant struggle to rebuild oneself and get along with this new parent; having to accept that your loved one died, that things are gonna change and they’re always gonna be different, feeling guilt over forming a new connection (motherly in this case) while also needing it, the new connection (Tamaki) having to make sacrifices in order to shelter what she has left of her sister, struggling to get along because of grief, sacrifices and guilt, not knowing how to open up but also loving each other, etc. It could’ve been an extraordinarily heart wrenching movie.

so i watched suzume. . .

And it was good—the animators, vas, musicians, and other talented people who worked on this film deserve so much praise for their work.

On the other hand (and this is a purely personal exercise that isn't meant to detract from Makoto Shinkai's vision for the piece), I think the overall theme of the film might have been better served if the story centered on the ups and downs of Suzume's relationship with her aunt Tamaki, rather than Souta.

Suzume is very much a story about grief—set against the tragedy of the 2011 tohoku earthquake, Suzume's personal struggle with the loss of her mother is arguably our entryway into understanding how this tragedy continues to shape the relationship between Japan’s very geography, its history, and its people.  

I believe that central to this narrative focus is Suzume’s complicated relationship with Tamaki, her mother’s sister, who raised Suzume for much of her life after the loss of Suzume's mother. For me, one of the most important moments of Suzume and Tamaki’s relationship is shown at the climax of their disagreements with each other. After being Suzume's sudden departure from their small town (partially out of that rebellious teenage desire to not be "suffocated" by Tamaki's presence; we'll get to Souta’s role in this later) and Tamaki's understandable worry about Suzume's wellbeing (which leads her to embark on a wild goose chase after Suzume, though we’re not shown much of Tamaki’s personal journey), Tamaki yells at Suzume while the two are at a rest stop with Souta’s friend Serizawa. Tamaki bitterly states that raising Suzume after her sister's death had been a suffocating burden on her as well, as she couldn't find love and live the life that she had wanted because of her responsibility. This leads Suzume to shrink back in disbelief, as she recalls a pivotal memory where, after wandering in a snowstorm in search of her mother (and encountering the Ever After), she is found by Tamaki, who cries and affirms that Suzume will always be her daughter. It's a heartbreaking scene. We can empathize with both characters—Suzume is closer in age to most viewers, and we know that she doesn’t really hate her aunt’s presence, as the stress of her chase after Daijin and Souta’s temporary “demise” has whittled away at her emotions. Similarly, we can imagine that Tamaki herself likely hasn't overcome her grief at losing her sister, and that her outburst wasn’t truly genuine—she does love Suzume, but she wants her adoptive daughter to understand the sacrifices she had made, because she had no one else to confide in or rely on. We anticipate that this is the emotional crux of the movie, showing the relationship of a surrogate mother to a child who has gone through deep, unresolved trauma, now burdened with the consequences arising from the "imbalances" of the spirit world, itself a metaphor for the turbulence of living and of losing.

. . .and then the movie doesn't do anything with this scene. It's suddenly cut short with the random appearance of the keystone Sadaijin, and any lingering tension from that scene is resolved offscreen, with Tamaki and Suzume regaining each other's trust in the next scene. It feels unearned and deeply unsatisfying, especially when the emotional core of the film then gets transplanted onto Suzume's emotional relationship with Souta, a college-aged man whom she has known for less than a week (Suzume, by the way, is in high school, and even if they don’t “get together” in the movie, it makes me a bit uncomfortable seeing someone who is implied to be in their twenties being the implied romantic interest for a seventeen-year-old).

So, I thought, what if the movie kept its cast of characters, and the general sequence of events, but instead of Souta being the one cursed by Daijin to be the keystone (an act that initiates the film's events), it was Tamaki? This is going to be broken up into a few reblogs since it's too long for one post, but here's how I would structure it. (Part 1 of 2, and with a lot of my own hc interactions)

The beginning of the film can stay the same, including Souta's appearance. however, the driving force for Suzume to go to the isolated spot where the first door is located is an argument with Tamaki, rather than her implied curiosity regarding Souta. Perhaps, in this fight, we see bits of Tamaki's personality that may come across as "suffocating" to a teenager, even if she meant well.

Suzume, bothered by Tamaki's presence and the dream that she had of wandering through the Ever After, goes to this isolated spot to get away from everything, which is where she encounters the door and Daijin. Perhaps she's sulking a bit, and makes some sarcastic remark about someone like Souta being able to travel (something that would show her interest in leaving the small town she currently lives in). She then opens the door, Daijin escapes, and she goes about her day as in the film, until the worm appears above the skyline.

She then runs back to the door, where she encounters Souta again. They close the door, and Souta explains what he does and what the door represents. She brings Souta back to their house for medical treatment (except without any of the weird romantic tension between them), and they begin talking about Suzume’s life (perhaps about her room, the chair, and her dreams, as Suzume imagines the kinds of dangers—and thrills—that come with Souta’s position as a Closer).

This is where Tamaki comes back into the story. Tamaki, returning early to check on Suzume and encountering Suzume and Souta together, thinks the worst and begins to berate Suzume. They get into another argument, with Souta trying to calm the two down. Suzume, already stressed from the day's events, wishes that she can be "free" of Tamaki.

This is when Daijin appears on the windowsill, shit-eating grin and all, and says something along the lines of "Ok, Suzume. I can do that—because you're just like me." And then Tamaki is suddenly turned into a chair.

The same chaos ensues, with Tamaki, Souta, and Suzume chasing after Daijin until they get on the ferry. This is where Souta can give some more exposition, saying that he's never encountered this before, while encouraging Tamaki and Suzume to try and come together as he figures the whole thing out. Perhaps this is also the time where we get more information about Souta's personal life (in this version, it is information about his desire to become a teacher, as well as info about his relationship with his own mother, who was killed during a dangerous mission she took on as a Closer.)

The trio continue chasing after Daijin, with the group splitting up by necessity (thus allowing Tamaki and Suzume to have more screentime together). Specifically, Souta finds out that another door is opening off the path of travel they are taking after Daijin, and he instructs Tamaki and Suzume to continue their journey while he takes care of the other door. Before he leaves, he gives Suzume another key he keeps in his possession, which he reveals belonged to his mother.

Suzume and Tamaki continue onwards and meet Chika, the girl on the motorcycle. Suzume and Tamaki then cooperate in closing the door opened by Daijin. In this version, I think it would be interesting if Daijin is actually actively opening doors, not simply leading the pair to doors that are about to open. This serves as a huge bonding moment for Suzume and Tamaki, as they previously couldn’t go a day without arguing over the best way to do things.

Suzume and Tamaki stay at Chika's place (and have the downtime with Chika that is shown in the movie), except Suzume's dialogue with Tamaki consists of her confessing that she is jealous of Chika's independence and the bustling atmosphere at Chika's home. Tamaki is initially angered by this, but gradually calms down in her “chair corner” as she sees Suzume and Chika having fun, perhaps even reminding Tamaki of her own childhood with her sister.

When Tamaki falls asleep, she sees visions of her sister, which both frightens and immobilizes her (i.e. literally her survivor’s guilt “anchoring” her in place). This is meant to replace how Souta gradually descends into his “death” when he sleeps.

Suzume and Tamaki head off and are picked up by Rumi, the mother who works at the hostess bar. Initially, Tamaki whispers to Suzume that she doesn’t want Suzume hitchhiking with a stranger, but Suzume tells her that sometimes they need to rely on others to get by. The same comedy shenanigans with Rumi’s children can be kept in—I think it’s more fitting that Tamaki plays the role of the “toy chair that can speak” in order to keep the children entertained, because she probably, after all, raised Suzume on similar silly stories.

Suzume and Tamaki run to the abandoned fairgrounds to close the other door when the worm appears. I think this scene becomes more impactful when Tamaki is the chair and not Souta, as her decision to save Suzume from falling from the Ferris wheel and letting Daijin go would highlight her parental worry for Suzume, though perhaps this isn’t fully realized by Suzume in the midst of her adrenaline rush. Suzume, however, does look upon the fairground as a place that she wants to go to with Tamaki, when all of this is over, though she keeps this to herself.

Suzume, watching Rumi work her shift as a hostess, comes to appreciate the struggles of being a mother more. Similarly, Tamaki wants to connect with Rumi as a peer, but is limited by her chair form. Seeing Suzume bond with Rumi makes Tamaki want to be there for Suzume, as she sees Suzume slowly maturing into her own person. However, neither Suzume nor Tamaki feel ready to fully open up about these nuanced feelings, as they fall instead into a comical back-and-forth when they’re alone.

Suzume and Tamaki manage to get to Tokyo, where they meet up with Souta. He tells them that he’s been doing whatever research he can to try and figure out how to break Tamaki’s curse. This is where he can explain the keystone lore to Suzume and Tamaki.

The giant worm starts appearing over the city. Tamaki insists that Suzume get out of Tokyo. Souta agrees, and tells Suzume and Tamaki to leave, stating that he can handle the worm himself. Suzume refuses, stating that she’s not going to let anyone else die—the “else” implying that she too still feels survivor’s guilt over her mother’s death.

Despite Souta’s attempts at reasoning with her, Suzume is adamant on staying—Daijin appears and mocks her, telling her that she only knows how to let her aunt dictate how she lives. Suzume rushes ahead without Souta and Tamaki. Tamaki and Souta chase after Suzume, with Tamaki yelling at Suzume again, calling her “rash”, "always making her worry and chase after her," and “thinking and behaving like a child”.

Perhaps Suzume covers her ears, as Tamaki’s words begin to blend into Daijin’s laughter as he scrambles towards the worm. Perhaps Suzume screams out loud, screaming that she felt as though Tamaki had never believed in her, that even when an entire city is threatened, Tamaki cares only about herself, and knows only how to chastise and suffocate Suzume. This shocks Tamaki, but before she can respond, the trio are shot up to the worm’s back, and Souta attempts to seal the worm. However, Daijin interferes and Souta is injured. Suzume then tries to grab Daijin, only for Daijin to purr contentedly and state that he understands what Suzume is feeling—that is why Tamaki will now be the keystone, and both of them can be free.

Suzume turns to Tamaki, only to find that she is unresponsive. Ice is forming around her, as Suzume’s words echo over and over in her mind. Perhaps Tamaki then screams in grief as she sinks deeper into her regret and memories of her sister—that is when we get her screams about how much she had sacrificed for Suzume, and how much happiness Suzume took from her (basically what she said during the rest stop confrontation).

(pt 1 end)

Drowning

Sketch with ref. I’ve been thinking about this one for a while. I really, really like this pose. It looks like a statue. It’s so expressive.

DO NOT ❌copy, trace, or otherwise steal credit for this work.

WEDNESDAY

Don’t get me wrong. I love Wednesday, I love Jenna Ortega and her performance as Wednesday was brilliant.

#spoilers

However, ultimately the show felt bland in the end to me, because the whole plot ended up revolving around the romance drama: of course, one of the romantic interests was going to be the villain and break her black heart. It was so painfully cliche. To me, as someone who writes and reads a lot, it was obvious from the start where the plot was heading, since the first scene with Thornhill in the dorms and Tyler at the coffee shop. Thornhill was actually better written though.

It was the love interests that just ugh, fell so flat and soured the experience for me. Both Xavier and Tyler were both written in JUST to add romantic drama because Wednesday’s a teen and as such she “should experience typical teen problems and boy problems”.

Which is absolute fucking bullshit in my opinion, not every teenage girl protagonist has to experience love triangles and romantic drama just because she’s a teenager, that is just a cliche trope that has been perpetuated by movies and series, but doesn’t portray the real life of a teenage girl. Besides, why would Wednesday ever need romantic drama? She’s a great character by herself, being how she has always being, she never needed other characters to make her “evolve” or seem more relatable or teen-like.

The cool thing about Wednesday has always been how unapologetic she is, she will be herself without giving a fuck about what others think of her, she will speak her mind always, specially when something that she perceives as “not right” (like the bullying, misogyny, white-washing retelling of history, etc) is happening in front of her; she’s different of course, but that’s what makes her so special, she’s not willing to change herself or bow down to society.

Wednesday has never needed love interests to seem more teen-like, or be more relatable. She’s great just like she is. The weak attempts at writing romance with Wednesday… holy gods they were so bland. Xavier and Tyler were added in with only that purpose, barely have any personality, not to mention having absolutely zero chemistry with Wednesday, at least romantically.

Tyler, if you ignore him being one of the antagonists, reads as a puppy-eyed white male who finds her intriguing because she’s so different from all the other girls he has met before, and since she pays a modicum of attention to him because she needs his help, he thinks she’s interested. Xavier reads as the boy who literally just broke up with a girl he liked, but could never trust, and his mind immediately grabs onto Wednesday as a new love interest because she’s someone who he has met before, and he knows how she is; she’d never lie to him or manipulate his feelings knowingly, he knows she doesn’t have the power to do that, so of course, in his mind she’s trustworthy and because she’s so different from Bianca, she’s perfect as a new crush.

Wednesday never gave them signals of being interested. And yet of course, typical, just because she seems to tolerate them, they automatically assume she likes them. Even though it’s clear from the start she’s just using them for her own means and ends, not actually bonding with them. Tyler is the normie who’d help her with the investigation and help her escape Nevermore because he has a car, and is conveniently the sheriff’s son, so she can keep an eye on his father through him. They had no conversations outside the ones related to the investigation, yet somehow they kissed…..

She barely talked to Xavier outside of the scenes where she snuck into his studio, those scenes being; the infirmary, the classroom, the burnt yard, the jail.

In none of those does Wednesday show any signs of being interested in him in any way, she tolerates him because they’re sort of childhood acquaintances, and he’s her suspect. And in those scenes, the lines they exchange-with the exception of the infirmary (because it’s the moment Xavier’s character is introduced)-are painfully brief and to the point. In fact, I don’t even think they talked in the classroom; Wednesday just looked at him and smashed the spider. She didn’t even say anything. The yard scene was after their fight in the studio and it’s only like 4 lines because they’re not on good terms, which again, were they ever really? And the jail scene is just full of tension and friendship heartbreak because Xavier perceived her differently than she is, and Wednesday is hurt by his words, even though she doesn’t seem to (but Ortega really is brilliant at expressing what Wednesday is feeling just with little face muscle movements. If you pay attention to her face, it is really easy to read how Wednesday is feeling in every scene).

In their efforts to add romantic interests for Wednesday, they ended up coming up with two extremely bland characters. Not to mention Ajax, who is not as bland, but still feels like kind of an unncessary addition. Honestly, the way they’re written, it’s painfully obvious that the purpose of the 3 boys is just to merely act as romantic interests and a stopper to the shipping between Wednesday and Enid, being like “oh but see? They both have boyfriends! Male interests! They’re not queer! They’re just really good friends and roommates!”

….. god that’s just terrible writing. Both read as heavily queer coded, and Enid is the only character Wednesday actually cares about and bonds with out of her free will, unconsciously (with the exception of Eugene, but he’s like a sibling to her). By the second episode, Wednesday is already showing signs that she’s starting to care for Enid, without being prompted to by anything else, circumstancial or otherwise. When they argue, Wednesday is hurt by it, saddened because she’s now alone; she keeps looking back at Enid’s side of the room and hopes to solve everything asap so it can all go back to normal. She’s again, hurt and disappointed when Thornhill shows up to tell her that Enid has requested to room with Yoko for the rest of the year, but tries to play it off. Wednesday is a character who perceives emotion as weakness, because it’s how people commit mistakes and get hurt, it’s what people use to manipulate each other, so she convinces herself that she doesn’t need emotion, including affection and caring about people.

Yet by episode 5, not only does she clearly care about Eugene, completely willingly and with no ulterior motive, she also cares about Enid’s feelings and talks with her easily, standing close to one another. She tries to tell Dr. Kinbott that she’s still as cold hearted as she was the first day, but it’s clear she’s trying to convince herself of it too, because although she has tried, she cannot help but care about them. She could have thrown away the snood when Enid was not looking, but she kept it, tried to avoid hurting her feelings by telling her she didn’t like it, and even wore it when they were investigating.

Enid literally turned into a werewolf in her hurry to get to Wednesday and help her. She fought for her and got scarred, and the first thing she says when she’s in her human form again is “where is wednesday?” And she’s worried, scared for her. She could have hugged Ajax when she saw him, but she just leaned into him for comfort, because she literally just turned into a huge beast, fought for her life, and is really shaken by it. In contrast, when she sees Wednesday she literally runs to her and hugs her tightly. And Wednesday actually reciprocates, hugging her tightly and hiding her face in her neck while Enid clutches her uniform in her hands. Wednesday didn’t hug Tyler even when they were kissing, she only let herself be held, but made no move with her own arms.

I could continue, but this is getting really fucking long. Point is: there is no fucking way Wednesday and Enid are not queer in some way, regardless what netflix may say (when one writes a story, the characters always evolve and develop beyond one’s imagination and thoughts, because they are characters, and ultimately, they are people). And Xavier and Tyler made no goddamn sense as love interests, yet sadly it’s already obvious that Xavier is gonna be endgame, unless they decide to actually make Wednesday x Enid canon. The show just felt like compulsive heteronormativity to me.

Pretty boi 🌺

Another experiment with the new watercolor paper. I think I’ve only tried to do skin with watercolor once before. At the beginning I thought it looked terrible. But it actually turned out quite okay :D.

I love this one.

As always, DO NOT trace, copy, or otherwise steal credit for this artwork.

I KNOW WE ALL FREAKING LOVED THIS. But also. THE MUSIC. Like, we gotta talk about the soundtrack. The guitar flamenco style was just so beautiful and brilliant, you could dance to the soundtrack.

Homework

This some homework for my cartoon class. I kinda really love how it came out. Before this class I had never dabbled in cartoon drawing, just wasn’t used to it. My style is usually more realistic.

It turned out so well that I kinda wanna color it.

DO NOT trace, copy or otherwise steal credit for this work.

I HAD THE SAME THOUGHT AND REALIZATION

He’s wearing eyeliner, oh my god?

Happy Valentines. Im still single.

Haha

Aceness

Um guys. Fellow aroaces.

How the fuck do you find people to date?

Seriously, what f secret am I missing here?

I want love so badly.

Sometimes, we all need to hear this. Success, a small victory, is not the conclusion of the journey. And failure is not the fatal abrupt end of it.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

— Unknown

I wuv this

If I had a nickel for every time an ethereal being realized they're in love with the person they've been dating for centuries but still refuse to acknowledge as their friend, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that Neil Gaiman did it twice.