Given The Tone, Vaseline In Place Of Dip. The Other Way Around Isn't Great, But It's Not Enough To Cause

(you need to view the image or you'll just like the post)

Since people liked it i made a toy that works on the computer: https://nick-nonya.itch.io/trampoline-toy Have fun!

i go to a gay bar and notice the furry convention's in town. i see a fine lookin bear remove his fursuit, revealing that underneath, he's also a fine lookin bear. I raise my eyebrows and say "woof" and all the cat furries immediately hiss and scatter

NOW MEET THE GANG OF INTERNATIONAL SHITPOSTERS AND GAMERS I CALL MY CHAT

PSA: Please don’t ask participants to do grounding/mindful/somatic/etc practices at your events

Grounding exercises should not be an activity in large group settings, especially unsolicited and without warning, especially if you’re not aware of every single person in the space’s mental health conditions, physical health conditions, and personal relationship to their body.

Practices such as mindfulness, grounding, somatic exercises, breathing techniques, body scans, etc. are very helpful therapeutic tools to help manage stress. They can (and do!) help plenty of people– when taught safely and used effectively!

HOWEVER for people with conditions that cause psychosis and/or dissociative conditions such as depersonalization/derealization, these techniques are contraindicated and can make their symptoms significantly worse. They should only be used with guidance from their mental health team and adapted to their needs. For people with conditions like anxiety and PTSD, being aware of breathing can trigger a trauma response or anxiety attacks.

And for people with conditions that cause chronic pain or other uncomfortable bodily sensations, becoming re-centered with their bodies can cause more awareness of the pain they are in, which a level of (ideally functional) dissociation is actually helpful. For people in wheelchairs and powerchairs, touching the ground beneath their feet isn’t always an option. For people with cardiac and pulmonary conditions, deep breathing can be impossible or can trigger asthma attacks. For disabled people in general, doing body scans can be impossible due to paralysis or limb differences. They can bring awareness to things the person wasn’t aware were wrong to begin with (which is helpful in certain spaces, but not a great ice breaker at a retreat!)

And for trans people, binders and other garments can restrict breathing, and taking repeated deep breaths while binding can cause rib damage (which is why you shouldn't bind at night, while coughing from sickness, while exercising, etc). Becoming centered in a body that makes you dysphoric can be deeply distressing, again, a level of functional dissociation helps.

This also goes for plenty of other people in marginalized bodies, such as people of color, people who use substances, queer people, and more. Becoming grounded in your own marginalized body can be a heavy weight to carry, and needs appropriate and individualized care to be a beneficial experience.

As an alternative, I suggest doing a round of gratitudes instead, it allows for people to choose their level of vulnerability in spaces, while not being generally contraindicated for many people. Doing fun (and appropriate to the setting) icebreakers are great. Ask what brings someone to the space. Check-ins about basic needs such as if people need to use the restroom, eat, drink water, are rested, etc. can be more appropriate body check-ins for folks to do.

I don’t recommend doing these exercises even with a warning beforehand. If I'm in the room while someone is leading a breathing exercise, even if I try to ignore it, I (and most people) would automatically become aware of my breathing. The same goes for any other techniques. These techniques can cause real, life-threatening levels of harm for some people, and can even just be deeply uncomfortable or distressing for others. Dissociation is not inherently evil or bad or harmful. It is the way the body and mind naturally respond to adverse experiences (note: it can also cause distress and at higher levels, can be disordered) it is best to allow people to exist as they are in communal spaces. Let people show up as they are.

Most spaces are not equipped or appropriate to respond to emergencies, difficult feelings, and all the varied responses that can come from folks doing mindfulness in group settings.

I personally do some things before large gatherings and events to feel centered on the activity I’ll be doing, and afterward, I decompress. Encourage participants to lean on their natural supports and offer suggestions for it! Be creative in your caring!

This also doesn’t mean to discourage these practices! If you see someone doing deep breathing, check in with them, offer a space for them to decompress, care for them! Worksheets or posters on techniques like square breathing and 5 senses check-ins are great for a quiet room or spaces where participants can decide if they want/are able to engage with those tools. It should be a fully consensual opt-in, rather than being forced to opt-out. Having to leave a room when a group leader says “We’re going to start a mindful breathing meditation, please feel free to leave if you have psychosis, chronic pain, or are trans” is obviously othering and outs people.

Sincerely, someone who has psychotic symptoms, dissociation, chronic pain, is trans and whose body is marginalized in many ways and is really tired from trying to explain this at every event I go to

... If one's sister's sister is a princess, I assume the royal family just isn't counting any but the primary heir?

I don't think there's a logic under which you get to claim that phrase without oneself and the first sister don't count besides that...

I've never done animation before

this is something I made as a joke for one of my friends, featuring her OCs

If you are a physically disabled peep who thinks pd folk are above mentally disabled folk in the struggle? Go fuck yourself and dont talk to me.

If you are a mentally disabled peep who thinks md folk are above physically disabled folk in the struggle? Go fuck yourself and dont talk to me.

Disability is disability. Diff shit, sure. But same stink and equally as valid. And yes I get peeps have fucked each other up before in the struggle for rights and humanity before. Which is exactly what Im talking about rn. Because its that punching down bullshit again. Walking over each other and then pointing out how "well were better than them atleast?" Shove it up your ass if you got one. Or any other hole. Im not picky.

Were in this shit. If we like it or not. And we gotta figure it out together. But youre scum if you think demonizing others makes you a punk. Or a real activist or whatever.

And yeah. That included self diagnosed folk too. Diagnoses are a privilege. Hard to come by. And sometimes very dangerous. And if youre a real one you know that.

So shut the fuck up and quit being assholes. Fuck the system up. Not each other.

Image Description: A pale woman in a striped pink and white tank top with darker pink tone pants stands besides a man in a wheel chair. She has a ponytail, is looking at him to her right with both hands raised in anger and with frown. Man sits beside her with tan skin, an uncomfortable frown, full body cast and neck brace. There is a text bubble leading from the woman asking "Why don't you just try harder?" (The words "try harder" is underlined for emphasis.) Text at the top reads [#mentalillnessfeelslike]. There is a logo at the bottom left for Mental Health America. And the artists watermark on the bottom right that reads [Gemma Correll]

Image description: There is a plain white background with pink and black text. The pink is in a more elegant font. The top line is in pink and larger than the rest. It reads, "I AM SICK". The next line is in the smaller simple, black font. It reads, "I'm not stupid or mentally disabled. I'm not crazy. It's not stress, it's not in my head. I'm not causing this to myself. I'm not making it up. I'm learning about myself everyday. How well I deal with this sickness. I can still do things for myself. I like my independence, but sometimes may need your help." Then the font changes to an equally small pink, elegant font and reads, "Don't take that as weakness, or that I'm giving up. I'm trying the best I can." Finally, in the black font again it reads, "We all need a little boost from time to time, lend a hand. You never know how much it could mean."

Predominantly found in Australia, the Letter-winged kite (Elanus scriptus) is a rare raptor. They are the only fully nocturnal raptor, and their soft almost owl-like feathers ensure they can fly quietly and without disturbance.

[x] [x]

We’ve seen exactly one case of someone claiming to of “stolen” someone else’s headmate, but it was with the headmate in question’s consent and the other system was involving a particularly dangerous form of in-system abuse that basically only occurs in tulpamancer communities and is rare there - the tulpamancers tend to understand that trying the sort of thing claimed is a bad thing to do to proper, fully formed headmates, while everyone else tends to simply lack the framework to abuse other headmates *that badly* in the first place.

On System Hopping...

So, we’ve seen a fair amount of crap leveled against system hopping.

As approaching old-farts-status within the online plural community, and a trauma-formed system with DID that’s sick of seeing misinformation, let’s address some things.

DISCLAIMER: While belief in system hopping varies WILDLY within the community, let’s assume for the duration of this conversation that it DOES exist in some form. (Because this is a belief, you’re lack of it doesn’t change the fact that: the concept exists, that a lot of systems do believe in it, and that there’s a LOT of misconceptions out there about it.)

First off, let’s define system hopping. System hopping is the (neither scientifically proven nor disproved) phenomena where a system member travels from one system, to another. This can be either permanent, or temporary, and can be either a full switch over or the system member meeting in some nebulous space “between” systems.

Got it? Cool.

Now that we’ve got the “what”, let’s go over the who, when/where, why, and how.

Who “system hops”? Contrary to popular opinion, system hopping is not a belief that is exclusive to endogenic (or any other non-traumagenic) systems. Plenty of traumagenic systems believe in it, too.

We’ve seen many folks say that trauma-formed systems, or systems with DID/OSDD/etc, don’t believe in it– or “can’t do it” even if they do– because it’s a “spiritual thing”. Surprise! Plenty of trauma-formed systems are spiritual, or feel their systems have a spiritual basis, just as plenty of non-traumagenic systems aren’t, and feel their systems have a psychological basis. (And many systems of all origins are a mix of both spiritual and psychological!)

Also… it’s not just a spiritual concept. More on that in a bit.

Tl;dr, any system of any origin, regardless of diagnosis, can believe in system hopping or claim to experience it.

When/where do systems “hop”? Usually, if system hopping happens at all, it happens between systems that are very close. Usually systems that are dating. It is often pre-planned. The idea that systems can “steal” someone else’s system members is a common myth, and we’ve never heard of it actually happening. (Though, rarely, abusive systems might try and convince their victim(s) that it’s possible.)

Sometimes, systems (especially gateway systems or systems who believe their inworlds are a factual space somewhere) will form “between” spaces between their inworlds where sysmates will meet up without actually “hopping” across systems.

Most systems who believe in system hopping will outright tell curious systems to only attempt it with systems they know and trust, and make sure there is a shared understanding that it’s not something a system can force onto another system. Planning it in advance helps ensure it’s a mutually agreed upon thing, and helps reduce the risk of negative “oh your sysmate came over here”/”oh we came over there” claims.

Why do systems “hop”? Systems who claim to experience system hopping usually do it to visit friends or non-platonic partners in other systems. We’ve also seen system members who have “left” one system, “show up” in the second system some time later. (This is not the same as System B “stealing” System A’s sysmate– it’s a sysmate fully vanishing from System A on their own and reappearing in System B. This could be a case of System B forming a factive or introject of System A’s sysmate, but who’s to say.)

How does system hopping work? Honestly, we don’t know! Even if we assume it happens, studies haven’t been done on it. There’s two main schools of thought we’ve identified–

1. Spiritual.

2. Psychological.

With spiritual sorts, one of the most common explanations we’ve seen is that inworlds are basically pocket dimensions that exist out there in the universe somewhere, and so, with systems that are close (and work this way) a sort of gateway opens up between the inworlds. Or, a sort of grey area forms between the two inworlds, where sysmates between systems can meet.

With psychological sorts, the most common explanation we’ve seen is that both systems develop a “version” of the same sysmate. That version will go dormant in one system, while waking up in the other, giving the appearance of one sysmate “hopping” between systems.

And because it’s worth repeating:

Not all non-traumagenic systems believe in system hopping, of ANY kind, and not all who do are spiritual. Not all trauma-formed systems DON’T believe in it, and not all who do are psychological. The belief in– and any experience with– system hopping is not unique to any one system origin, nor is it tied to a dx status.

But isn’t it dangerous? The short answer is, it’s not inherently dangerous. Can the concept of it be used to abuse people? Sure, but so can the entire concept of systems. Anyone who wants to abuse someone, can use anything to abuse them, including the idea of system hopping. There are in fact people out there who have, do, or would use system hopping to claim they can “steal” sysmates, “break in” to your system and hurt sysmates, or claim that your system did so (or threatened to). But these are people using a needlessly maligned belief to cause harm. That does not mean that the belief is harmful.

(We personally don’t think it’s possible for a system to “force” their way into another system without both parties agreeing, anyways. Every experience we’ve had or seen that we consider genuine system hopping, it’s been mutually agreed upon (though not always consensual unfortunately), a sysmate showing up in a second system after for sure vanishing from the first system, or an accidental sort of “meeting in the middle” rather than an outright “swap”.)

So then what are some red flags? A few things to watch out for, if you decide to be more open minded or attempt this concept yourselves–

Don’t attempt to do this with any system you don’t know. That’s the obvious one, but sincerely– if you haven’t known a system for more than a couple years, if you don’t have a strong and healthy relationship– don’t try it with that system.

Both systems involved need to have good communication. Are you both spiritually based systems? Is one of you more psychological, while the other isn’t? You need to be clear about what you both think is happening. If one system feels like their system member is actually hopping into someone else’s inworld, while the other system thinks that they’re just developing an introject, that’s a situation ripe for potential problems. Make sure both participants know and agree on what’s happening.

Do not let anyone “talk you into it”. If it’s something you don’t think is possible for your system, and/or the idea makes y’all uncomfortable, say no. If the other system keeps pushing, then you really need to reconsider your relationship with that system. This is never something you should be forced into, or have to be “convinced” to try/do. It should be something both systems are interested in, and excited to try. If you’re not, don’t do it.

Similarly, if a system tries to convince you that one of your sysmates “came over” into their system, or that one of theirs “came over” into yours, when you know that’s not true– that’s a warning sign. Stand your ground, and if they push, consider getting out of that relationship ASAP.

Same for if someone claims that your sysmate did something wildly out of character. If you know that it’s something that couldn’t, wouldn’t, or didn’t happen, stand your ground and get out of there when feasible.

And while this feels obvious to us… if someone accuses you of “stealing” a sysmate, or threatens your system with such a thing, get the hell out of there.

So what do you all believe, TLC? We generally have come to the consensus that system hopping, as a general concept, likely does exist. (For statistics, we’re a trauma-formed system with DID, and we’re spiritually based.)

We are very skeptical of individual claims of it– kind of like how we believe in ghosts, but we question the ghost stories of other people. :P Of course, we don’t know how it works, only that we’ve had experiences we can’t explain– and we know others have, too. We personally don’t purposefully engage in it, because our system is closed (once someone comes in, they don’t come back out), but we did have an incident a LONG time ago where a system member was confirmed gone in a system we knew, and they showed up here, with memories we couldn’t have known about.

That said, we don’t think it’s possible, much less desirable, for all systems.

In any case, it’s never been proven to be real or not. There’s no studies out there, to our knowledge, testing it. So everyone needs to come to their own conclusions. We just ask that people not spread outright lies about the concept, or shit on people who do believe in it.

sideways sunday

I chose the 1000 because that's too many stars on tax free.

Explain your reasoning plzzz