“If you want to know who controls you, look at who you are not allowed to criticize.”
— Voltaire (via emergentpattern)
Lockdown, quarantine whatever it may be you'd like to call it teaches me what I know but refuse to accept, that there are so many ways to be lonely besides the particular way I am lonely...
Don't let Your Emotions Bully You
Aunt Natalie
when I think about sunshine and laughter it is your face that comes to my mind.
I'm holding you tightly so you don't slip away away, I think I'm holding on too tight my finger lingering slowly up, it strokes your soft hand, along your cheeks, I twist my finger around your hair. damn, I forgot you don't like that.
I see something in your eyes fuck, I'm stranded in an art museum.
I'm alone in your garden and my head is full of you. I like you too much I want you all to myself. What is your dream, this world. Our Dreamworld. The garden we are laying seeds down for. I think, what if one day I have to forget your eyes? Your voice ? I wonder will I lose you? I'm holding on so tight, it feels like I'm fighting a whole city.
The seeds, what will happen to the seeds I'm planting. the trees, the flowers, the lilies, the roses, the sunflowers and avo trees - they always were too expensive in shops. will they have blossomed? Have you tasted its fruit? will I have to tear it down, Will I have to burn this garden too? I can't,
I will water it forever and wait but what if you return only with a firestick? My tears fill up rivers for you. But my feelings fill the ocean. Is this an endless garden? don't plant thistles or ivy! My heart pains, I hate tearing down gardens, Have I already? Tell me what it is that you see? In the mirror I see, no lily, no rose, no sunflower. I turn and see baby blue Cadillacs driven by peg-legged nuns on pogo sticks. I lay my head on your heart I hear one, two, three heartbeats.
Will I be turned into a person who's text is left on read. but don't worry I say. I will never say a word
it sucks when friendships & relationships just fade away. you go from talking everyday & seeing each other weekly then the vibes change, the conversation dies & you get tired of being the one to always text/call them 1st. then when you stop intiating contact, you never talk again
Just playing the cards I was dealt. What else can you do?
Ah that motherfucker, there she is, what a bitch
True, daddy
Just A 23 Year Writing To Stay Relevant, discovering the meme-ing of life along the way - Let's Not Talk Anymore 🌻
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