Niceteethv - Freedom & Healing

“I won’t say it wasn’t meant to be, because it was. We were. Only for a short while, maybe. But we were.”

— Unknown

enduring love

e.m forster, a room with a view / atonement (2007) / thomas hardy, far from the madding crowd / portrait of a lady on fire (2019) / cassandra clare, city of glass / rainer maria rilke / giovanni gasparro / philip pullman, the amber spyglass.

I wanted to write honestly what I really think of the girl I love so I did, I won't be able to tell but hear Tumblr

when I think about sunshine and laughter  it is your face that comes to my mind.

I'm holding you tightly so you don't slip away away, I think  I'm holding on too tight my finger lingering slowly up, it strokes your soft hand, along your cheeks, I twist my finger around your hair. damn, I forgot  you don't like that.

I see something in your eyes fuck, I'm stranded in an art museum.

I'm alone in your garden and my head is full of you. I like you too much I want you all to myself. What is your dream, this world. Our Dreamworld. The garden we are laying seeds down for. I think, what if one day I have to forget your eyes? Your voice ?   I wonder will I lose you? I'm holding on so tight, it feels like I'm fighting a whole city.

The seeds, what will happen to the seeds I'm planting. the trees, the flowers, the lilies, the roses, the sunflowers and avo trees - they always were too expensive in shops. will they have blossomed? Have you tasted its fruit? will I have to tear it down, Will I have to burn this garden too? I can't,

I will water it forever and wait but what if you return only with a firestick? My tears fill up rivers for you. But my feelings fill the ocean. Is this an endless garden? don't plant thistles or ivy! My heart pains, I hate tearing down gardens, Have I already? Tell me what it is that you see? In the mirror I see, no lily, no rose, no sunflower. I turn and see baby blue Cadillacs driven by peg-legged nuns on pogo sticks. I lay my head on your heart I hear one, two, three heartbeats.

Will I be turned into a person who's text is left on read. but don't worry I say. I will never say a word

"Shame dies when stories are told in safe places." - Unknown

In my persona

Cracks

Through these

My lungs breath

I don't think you selfish for leaving me when I needed you

I don't think you're selfish for trying to preserve your sanity

You must really like broken things I concluded

Why break me

Your arms, anyone's arms

Can they mend porcelain

Can they mend me

2018.04.22

Just playing the cards I was dealt.  What else can you do?

Max Ritvo, from Four Reincarnations: Poems; “Living it up”

[Text ID: “I wish you would let me know / how difficult it is to love me. / Then I would know you love me / beneath all that difficulty.”]