Nicoledavisss - Wistful Thinking

How Petty

I’ve come to the realization that people now a days can be downright petty and ridiculous. Yeah, I’m sure some of you have known that from the beginning, and yeah it took me a little longer to notice. Reason I’m writing about this is because I’ve had some “friends” who thought that it was a good idea to be super petty. Example number 1: I currently live with a good friend of mine that I’ve known since freshman year. When I first moved in with her, things were great. It was just the two of us and her dog. The apartment was super clean and neat and things were awesome. I was genuinely happy. Well some shit happened and we had to move out of that particular apartment into another one in the same complex. I thought things were gonna be the same... Man was I wrong. First off; when we were in the process of moving, she had invited 2 other people to stay with us in a 2 bedroom apartment without so much as asking me how I felt about it. That really irked my nerves because the people that lived with us weren’t the cleanest and it was too much. There were too many women in that apartment and we all started fighting and what not. Well, in the midst of them living with us, they would eat or drink things that weren’t theirs. So my roommate started labeling things that she bought so the other 2 living with us wouldn’t touch anything. Understandable. Well when they finally moved out, my roommate continued labeling things that she had bought. Clearly I didn’t buy it so I know not to touch it of course unless I asked you, so why be petty and label? Well this has been going on for months and now that her ogre is gone, it should change. I hope. Now on to the second “friend” I had that decided to be petty for no damn reason. So I work overnights and it sucks sometimes because some of my friends want to go out and they want me to tag along. Well one Saturday night came along and my friends all wanted to take a vacation to Cocoa Beach. They rented a hotel right off the beach and wanted to go get away from everything and they had invited me out there with them; of course I wanted to go but I knew that I had to go to work, so I called out. Big deal, it was my first time since I started this job so I wasn’t worried about it. And I’m glad I did because I had an awesome weekend. Now fast forward to the Saturday after this one: when Hurricane Matthew came through here me and a few friends went to one of their grandmothers house to stay safe from the storm. Well we went there on Thursday and left Friday afternoon. My job was closed down for those 2 days for obvious reasons. Unsafe conditions to work in. Well Saturday rolls around and I knew I had to work, so I prepared like I normally would and my friends had made plans to go out and have a night out at a club called Southern Nights; which is a gay club. They wanted me to go really bad, so I thought about it all day and finally decided to call out. We went out and had a kick ass night. One of the best nights I’d had in a while. Well one of the people I work with that called themselves my “friend” decided it would be funny if they put my business on blast AT MY JOB. When you wanna risk someone’s job, risk your own. If you have to be so petty to risk someone else’s job; you’re pathetic. I just wanted to get this off of my chest as it’s been bothering me since it happened.

August 3, 2019

Well, here we are again. Another night of frustration and bickering. When is it going to end? I do everything to make sure you’re happy and yet you still treat me like shit. Okay, I’m not SUPER motivated, I agree with that but for fucks sake, I at least try to motivate myself and do better and you know this. I do care and you just don’t see that. I know damn right, you’re on POF talking to other girls while we’re still in a fucking relationship. I ought to leave you for that shit but I love you too much. I just want shit to be the way it was when we first met. I want the old you back. The one who confessed that he was in love with me one night after he drank too much. The one who only wanted to cuddle and love on me. The idiot that makes jokes and tries to play fight with me. Now all I have is a man who doesn’t want to look at me half the time. All you do now is belittle me and make me feel like absolute shit. I hope you know that all of this is gonna make me never want to love again if we do end up breaking up for real. I just want us back. I miss it more than anything. You grabbing my hand and showing me off to the world whenever we walked together somewhere. All the times we used to go to the movies just because we had nothing else to do. The times we’d drive to the beach when we didn’t have the money. I won’t ever forget the time that I begged to have you go on vacation with me and Tyler because I wanted you to be there. You convinced us to go to Miami. I had such an amazing time with you. The time we drove to Key West and then made plans to go back and sell stuff. (Even though we never did it lol) I was still happy about the idea because you came up with it. I miss all the nights we would go for walks just to talk about whatever. I miss everything. Late night drives and talks. Please, give me another chance to show you that I’m better than this. I can’t help but cry and cry now because I’m disappointed in myself that I’m not even good enough for you. I really do love you so much.

@markiplier how flipping true is this

Sometimes,

I wish I could go back to being a kid. When I was a kid, life was so easy. No worries about money, not having my heart broken into a million pieces, the newest technologies or getting a licence. All I wanted to do was hang out with my friends, play outside, play video games, and crush on celebrities. I hate that I had to grow up just to work a shitty job for shitty pay to try and make ends meet, to deal with stress on a daily basis, to deal with my heart being broken so many times, and to lose the people who were very close to me. But, I keep my head up and work through them because I have a lot to live for and I’m not gonna waste myself away stressing out about stupid crap. My family, my close friends and my boyfriend are all that matter to me and they are the ones who keep me sane in this place I call hell.

why are you so passionate about this

Please tell me.