JD: You're A Loose Cannon, Bruce.

Sea Cryptic! Danny- pt. 10

[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6] [Pt.7] [Pt.8] [Pt.9]

“This you?”

Danny glanced at the stone tablet in Spoiler’s hands and groaned, Phantom form flickering with embarrassment as his face got even more neon green. It was indeed him.

——

The first Atlantean and Ghost King encounter went something like this:

Imagine Danny, sleep deprived. Easy enough. Now, imagine Danny, trying to corral a ghost that had a penchant for sea life.

“Alabastor, I swear to Ancients, if you don’t get back here, I’m gonna make you into ghost sea-food boil!” Danny yelled as he chased Alabastor through the ghost zone. The crustacean shaped ghost cackled, skittering along the Zone.

"Make me, Phantom! You have not seen the might of the sea!"

"That's it, soup-time, crabby!"

Danny dove after Alabastor, chasing him face first into a temporal portal and right into the sea.

"BEHOLD!" Alabastor rumbled, claws raised and sea churning around him. Danny flew at him, noticing the screaming people below. He quickly raised a dome of clear ice to protect their entire city before returning his attention back to the giant crustacean. The distraction cost him, as Alabastor blasted him with a beam of his power. "THE MIGHT OF THE SEA!"

"SOUP!" Danny bellowed back, Alabastor's power forcing him into a giant crab form, aside from, hilariously, his head. Danny, always quick to adapt, slammed a massive claw straight into one of Alabastor's eyes and popped open the Fenton Thermos with a feral grin. In but moments, Danny manages to soup Alabastor but not before slamming him down onto the unbreakable ice Danny had just made.

Carefully turning by skittering sideways, he unmelted his ice.

"Sorry about that," he said sheepishly to the gawking civilians below.

"Suh-ree? What is suh-ree?" A brave woman asked.

"Oh," Danny uttered as he realized that he should probably switch languages. His giant crab body and small itty bitty human head swayed in an unsure motion. "Sorry means "my apologies." I had not meant to involve you. I am Phantom."

"It is alright... thank you for protecting us... God Phantom?"

He grimaced. "Not a god."

"King, then." She stepped forward. "May I ask of the ice?"

——

Spoiler, sensing weakness like the Riddler to a riddle, leaned in. "Did you know they have a traditional dance to honor the god that gave them the unbreakable ice that protects Atlantis to this day? It goes like this," Spoiler stepped back and did the dance, complete with exaggerated arm movements and, embarrassingly, the scuttle walk Crab!Danny was forced to learn with his new crab form.

"We shall never speak of this again," Danny huffed.

"But King Phantom, the God of Eternal Ice and Protection, how could we not celebrate your iciness?" Spoiler simpered, Black Bat not too far away and shaking with laughter. The purple donning vigilante did the scuttle dance once more, picking up bottles as she went a small circle around one of Bludhaven's rock beaches.

Danny scowled and plucked the tablet away from her, hair flowing an a more agitated direction. His jumpsuit burned brighter. "Why are you two menaces in Bludhaven? I thought your territory was in Gotham."

"Nightwing asked for back up and we were in the area." Spoiler, blessedly, stopped the walk to answer him. "By the way, are you and Danny dating?"

"Pardon?" He asked, insulted but highly amused.

"Oh, you know, he has your number, and you only ever talk to him outside of us, and how you guys have a high level of communication." Spoiler said leadingly.

Oh, Danny knew what this was about now. He found out their identities and now these two are interrogating him because he liked them best. They thought they were so clever. Well, they clearly haven't gotten to know Danny at all if they thought he was going to make good decisions.

Danny tilted his head, making sure his face gets as eerie as possible, shadows elongating and eyes burning just that much brighter. The neon green of his face shone even brighter against the suddenly dark landscape of the place. Black Bat stood up, laughter seizing immediately. Spoiler tensed.

"I have a riddle for you. You are good at those, are you not?"

Spoiler blinked but gamely said, "Bring it."

"What do these things have in common? An arguing couple, papers on a stranger's desk, and Star City's robbers."

"..." Spoiler slipped into her solving mode. "Stolen goods. Stolen hearts?" She guessed.

"No. The answer is that they're all none of your business," Danny snarled. His form flickered. "Keep your questing away from Danny- Daniel, vigilante. Your duty is to protect your city and help her," Danny swept an arm out. "Stick to that instead of inserting yourself into places you are not wanted."

Then, with a toss of an ecto-crossed recorder that held the verbal report he'd promised Nightwing towards Black Bat, Danny blinked out of the visible spectrum and flew above the two.

"... Shit, I think I pissed him off."

Black Bat nodded. "He was defensive."

"Yeah... did you hear that slip? Oh, they are so dating."

Danny grinned. He couldn't wait for Tim to interrogate him soon.

——

"You're kidding."

Danny shook his head, maniacal grin still on his face hours later. He'd taken the liberty to call his best friends before classes started for the day.

Tucker groaned. "Danny, I can't believe you're messing with Batman. Why are you like this."

"Look, I need your help."

"Oh no, keep me out of your dumbass plans, Fenton," Sam pointed at him through the screen, immaculately painted black nails threatening.

"Okay, if you go along with my plan, I'll give you Dr. Isley's number."

"Deal," Sam said immediately, changing her tune at a drop of a hat. Or, at a drop of a number.

"What about me?" Tucker asked, offended. "I deserve compensation for my work too, dammit!"

"I'll give you Tim Drake's number and persuade him to let you have a crack at Wayne Industry's tech basement."

"Deal, what are we doing?"

Danny's grin spread even wider. "We're dating. And, you two? You're Phantom's exes. Tucker, you say good stuff about me. Sam? You make up terrible things about me. But we're all dating each other and I'm dating Phantom on the side."

"I hate you," Sam deadpanned. "But fine, it's not that hard. I've got tons of embarrassing stories about Phantom. You better get me that number, Danny, because you know Dr. Isley was my gay awakening."

"For Tim Drake, I'd be willing to puff up your ego." Tucker said solemnly.

"Perfect. I'm cleaning his brother of ectoplasm today. so expect a call later! Love you guys!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, boyfriend." Sam clicked off the call.

"Think Tim Drake would be interested in a date?" Tucker asked Danny.

"Nah, I think he's got his heart on Benard."

"Damn," Tucker sighed. "Guess I'll have to mend my broken heart with the tools of a state-of-the-art lab, right, Danny?"

"Yep, see ya!" Danny hung up. Today was going to be a good day.

When one of your first impressions of your collage is Cupid shuffle #funtimes

Harry & Reg’s Snake Sanctuary

Not only did Sirius break out of Azkaban to find his younger brother, Regulus, ALIVE but living in Grimmauld Place AND raising Harry. Not only was his brother alive and raising Harry, but Harry has turned Sirius’ old bedroom into a snake sanctuary… leaving Sirius to sleep on the couch.

Sirius: REG. Why the hell is my room filled with snakes…?!?

Regulus: Blame Harry for that one.

Sirius: Oh really!? You expect me to believe you, the Slytherin, had nothing to do with this?

Regulus: I didn’t say I had nothing to do with it, but it is primarily Harry’s fault.

Sirius: How so?

Regulus: Well he’s a parseltongue you see, and starting around the age of 6 he just started coming home from the park, walks, and even the zoo once, with snakes tucked in his pockets. It was so cute Sirius I couldn’t possible tell him he couldn’t keep them. Plus, he talks to them, they all live here because they want to. They are free to leave if they wish. 

Sirius: ….

Sirius: …. How many snakes exactly are in here?

Regulus: We lost count around the 25 mark. It was at the 10 snake mark that we transformed your room into a sanctuary for them. Isn’t it adorable?

Sirius: Not the word I was going to use, but sure… 

Loneliest people are the kindest people. Saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged are the wisest. All because they don't wish to see anyone else suffer the way they did.

Unknown

Trolls Crack

Ablaze to other trolls: we have come to the conclusion that the only trickee has not died yet from all the stupid shit is because the Reaper/death has to face off a pissed off branch and no one wants to face a piss off branch

Branch to kismet,brozone, and snack pack: I have been to hell and back. While I was there Satan started to cry because he was not ready to give up the throne.

Branch to brozone and kismet: I wanna kill someone

Brozone worried JD: I don't think that's a good plan there bud

Bruce: yeah what if you get caught not going to bail you out

Kismet already doing a check list

Hype: I got us alibis

Boom: I've got the clean supplies and gloves

Trickee: i know where to hide a body

Ablaze: I got the tools

Kismet: now who are we hitting

Branch with tiers in his eyes: this is why I love you guys. Let's go

Brozone: wft

*in a crowd and Lance loses everyone*:

Lance: I know!

Lance: *stands on chair and uses hands as a megaphone*

Lance: LANCE MC-FUCKING-CLAIN SUCKS

Paladins and BoM: *no noise at all*

Lance: *sad*

*huge explosion in the distance*

Lance: *hears angry Galra screaming*

Keith: wHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKIN’ QUIZNACK WHO SAID THAT

So true that it's sad

Chilling With my dog right now

Overly supportive and protective Kirishima once he finds out that Kacchan is dating Deku

Reblog if you agree

This is my baby boy WILLIE