My Husband (a Fictional Assassin) Is Coming Home From The War (he Hasn't Been In Any Projects Since 2021).

it was never about confirming a label. we know they love each other. it’s about the video game plushies and joining in on silly games together and hyping up each other’s dailybooths and inviting dan to Florida and indulging each other’s every whim and Japan and sunsets and ice cream and fucking FaceTiming for hours while Dan yaps about elden ring and being in each other’s every anecdote and Phil staying in the closet for a decade and buffy marathons and Anne Robinson themed New Year’s Eve party games and publicly not standing for each other’s low self esteem slander and the one nice smelling tiled candle for Dan’s birthday and remote crisis manager Phil and creative director Phil and you’re next to me in my life and

it’s not just that they love each other. it’s that they love each other so well

As a physiologist let me say a few words.

I don’t care about sports. I don’t give a damn about the Olympics for other reasons I won’t talk about. But I’m pissed now.

If we are to disqualify the people from the Olympics, we should be 100% fair. No biological advantages allowed!

2-meter-tall basketball player? No way, that’s unfair.

That gymnast with hyper-mobility? BOO. Unfair.

Usain Bolt with the gene ensuring the composition of his muscles? How dare he?

Believe or not, the professional sport is based on anomalies and mutation. That’s the selection. It sucks and it’s not fair but it is what it is.

Also, having these mutations doesn’t mean you’re automatically great at sports - I’m shit at gymnastics while being hypermobile as fuck. So it’s still unfair even to us expressing these traits, lol.

There are XY AFAB women!!!

This happens during the pregnancy if the child has male chromosomes but there is not enough male hormones in the development of the baby resulting in the baby being assigned female at birth. It’s a form of intersex, but there is literally no physical difference between such child and XX AFAB baby.

Those are cis women. Not trans men. Not even trans men.

The people screaming about the Olympics being a disgrace and the proof of collapse of the society are literally the people who are usually like “there are two genders based on what’s in their pants”. Now it’s the chromosomes you’re checking?

Maybe you are an XY-woman, maybe your sister is. You don’t know.

Stop using biology for spreading misinformation about intersex people, transgender people and women in general.

So I watched this masterpiece-

“i think you were a barista in another life” ☕️🌟

fucking love the pitt. they let the autistic girl chill with a dog fo a bit then her boss came in like "fucking love u girl my least troublesome intern wanna pick sooo much gravel out a dudes leg wound?" and she was just like 😀😀😀 incredible. banger autistic rep shes so me.

My life feels better now

Normie interviewers will be like SO are you two fucking as if Dan and Phil would hard launch after 15 years in a random ass interview and we all go ugh invasive questions about their personal lives can ya cool it 🙄 but then Phannies come on the scene asking insane coded questions and making references to their 15 years of work so that they can throw us answers that require a degree in phannieism to decode and we all go yeah that's what I thought you'd say you dumb fucking rats (affectionate) and it's honestly so beautiful. We are out here playing 4d chess with their relationship status and I'm not sure who's winning.

everyone make sure you leave out the milk and cookies and knife and knife and knife and knife and knife and knife and knife and knife and knife and knife and knife and knife and knife and knife and knife and knife and knife and knife and knife and knife and knife and knife and knife tonight 🥰