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Picture by Jeff Carlson

boys with nice eyelashes don’t deserve nice eyelasHES THEY DONT EVEN APPRECIATE THEM THEY DONT EVEN NOTICE THEM IM SO MAD

Added more doggies!

{ by the boardwalks, under the clouds }

Mmmmmm someone big n strong wanting to protect me & ruin me at the same time ♡♡♡

Thinking about my butch buying me light grey underwear and making me wear it under a mini skirt at home all day. I don't really realise why at first, but they spend the entire day subtly praising me for simple tasks and trailing their fingers over my body. I don't take much notice of it until I'm laying on my front as I play on my switch, and feel their hand slowly pushing up between my legs, spreading them apart. I whine at the touch but they shush me, laughing when they see the big wet patch on my underwear. Their fingers press down against it and I gasp at the realisation of just how wet I am. I try to keep focusing on my game but their fingers gently rubbing my clit through my underwear drives me crazy, and I can't stop my hips from rocking back against them. I end up pressed to the bed, my underwear pushed to the side and their fingers pumping in and out of me as I try to muffle my moans in the pillows.

men and minors do not interact

this night together - chapter nine (j.yh + s.mg)

chapter nine: too little too late

chapter summary: you probably would have preferred the cold shoulder. yunho and mingi find out about your heat, and things get harder.

warnings: this chapter is a pain train. no other warnings except angst and consistent references to heat and all that goes with that.

notes: i'm SO glad you all enjoyed chapter eight!! it was a fun one. please enjoy the moment many of you have been waiting for..... yungi's return and everything that comes with that. good luck because oof our y/n is going through it.

pairings: alpha!yunho x alpha!mingi x omega!reader

genre: smut, a/b/o/omegaverse, angst, fluff, romance, polyamory

word count: 6.3k

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You expect to see them immediately when you walk into the studio a little early on Monday but it’s painfully empty. The back office door is shut and locked tight, so you know Yunho hasn’t been in yet and if he’s not here, neither is Mingi. It feels familiar, and you’re starting to wonder if every heat is going to end with them throwing a tantrum. 

“You just going to stand there?” Wooyoung’s voice nearly knocks you sideways and you jump in your shoes. 

“Don’t do that!” You spin on your heel and smack his shoulder. 

“You’re literally staring at a door,” Wooyoung levels you with a look, “I’m trying to pull you back down to reality so you can make it through this stupid day,” 

“Fine,” You sigh, “I guess… I don’t know, do I look okay?” 

He rolls his eyes, “You know you do,” 

“I just don’t want,” You start but the sound of the heavy back door to the studio startles you once again and your heart lands squarely in your throat when you see them. 

They barely look at you. A swift, fast glance, just enough for you to know they’ve seen you. Your hands suddenly feel slick and clammy and your stomach starts churning immediately. 

“Hey,” Wooyoung steps around you to grab their attention and break the sudden awkward tension in the hall, “did anyone ever call to get the lights in Studio 3 fixed?” 

Yunho blinks, almost confused by his words but then he recovers, “Uh, no, I thought they were fixed already,” 

“Out again,” Wooyoung shakes his head, “I think it’s electrical if the bulbs keep blowing,” 

Mingi listens for a moment, but the moment he’s sure this conversation has nothing for him he simply says, “I’ll catch you guys later,” and then he’s pushing past the two of them to cut down the hallway. 

He doesn’t look at you at all. 

Yunho watches him go and then refocuses on Wooyoung, “I’ll call someone,” he says, “is it the whole back panel again?” 

“I’ll show you,” Wooyoung gestures down the hall, throwing a fast glance at you that communicates so much with just one flick of his eyes - Don’t follow, you’re welcome, you owe me. 

As Yunho turns away from you to follow Wooyoung down the hallway you mouth a thank you and watch them go. The cold shoulder you can deal with, you’re almost too practiced with that at this point, so at least you can breathe a little easier and get back to work. 

You bottle it all right back up, and even though the day has been terrible and long and awkward, you know that San’s right. It’s your studio too. You’ve missed things being out for your leave and you have to catch up quickly to stay an unshakeable member of this group. All you have to do is focus on the work. 

You know you probably have to talk to them at some point, but you really didn’t think it would be today of all days. You thought they’d go back to the way it was before, an entire day of their tense glances communicated that clearly. But suddenly Mingi’s in front of you while you’re tucked up on the computer in the corner of one of the studios rewatching a cut of today’s practice and you know it’s going to be now, now or never.

“So, you’re good?” He asks suddenly, a little starting since you had expected him to just pass you by without a word, just like the rest of the day behind you. 

“What?” You manage, swiveling around in your chair. 

“You’re good?” He asks again, but his face is blank, passive. 

You open your mouth to answer but Yunho’s voice from the side has your head snapping towards it. 

“Mingi,” Yunho’s voice is firm, “let’s go.” 

“One sec,” Mingi doesn’t look away from you. 

“I said let’s go,” Yunho shakes his head. 

“Hey,” Mingi starts and then Yunho looks at you. 

“Can you lock up if you’re not leaving?” He asks, jaw tightening as soon as the words are out of his mouth. 

“Sure,” You manage. 

“Mingi, let’s go.” Yunho’s attention leaves you instantly, and you’ve never felt more invisible to him. 

“Bro,” Mingi shakes his head, “can you fuck off for one second?” 

“No, I’m getting in the car, do you want a ride or not?” Yunho’s jaw jumps in frustration. 

Mingi mutters something under his breath and then meets your eyes again, “y/n,” 

“Yeah?” You’re so overwhelmingly confused. 

“I said, are you good?” 

“Why wouldn’t I be good?” Your brows draw together. 

Mingi shuts his mouth tightly, his hands forming loose fists and then he nods once, “Fine,” 

“What’s going on with you two?” Your eyes dart between them, the anger in the room so palpable. They’ve been cold, they’ve been passive, but they’ve never, ever been angry with you. Not like this. 

There’s a long beat of silence and then finally Yunho speaks, “Are you serious?” 

“What?” 

“You disappear for three days,” Yunho drops his gym bag and looks to you, “and you can’t even answer a single fucking text message, and you want to know what’s going on with us?” 

Your stomach clenches hard, his dark eyes boring into you now and you need him to look away. “I was on heat leave,” You say clearly, “you got the paperwork, I know you did.” 

They’re both silent. 

“Look,” You sigh, and it’s already harder to maintain the wall than you thought it would be, “I’m sorry I didn’t text you back, that was shitty, but I was a little preoccupied,” 

Yunho grimaces. 

“Yunho, jesus,” You push yourself up off the chair and take a few steps towards them, “I don’t know what you want from me,” 

“We were worried,” Mingi offers, and his voice is still low and firm, but his words at least are a little kinder. 

“Well, I appreciate that, but I was fine.” 

Yunho huffs, and you can almost see him fighting an eye roll. Anger bubbles inside you at their entitlement over you and your time and you can’t stop your mouth or your hot head now. 

“Seriously,” You square your shoulders towards him, “Yunho, we’re friends so I feel like I can say this, but you’re acting like an asshole right now.” 

“I’m acting like an asshole?” His voice gets sharp at the end, anger radiating in him. 

“Yes!” You push farther into his space, “Sharing a heat together doesn’t mean I owe you something,” 

His jaw jumps at your words. 

“No one’s saying that,” Mingi cuts in immediately, physically pushing between you both and holding his hands up. 

“Tell that to him,” You nod towards Yunho. 

Yunho stays silent. 

Mingi keeps his hands up, “Listen,” he catches your eyes, “no one’s angry. We just didn’t hear from you for three days, we didn’t know if you were somewhere safe. That’s all.” 

“Well, I was,” You assure him, “I had everything handled, I’m back on my suppressants,” 

“I know,” Mingi nods, and you suppose he would be able to tell, with your scent dampened. 

“What about onboarding?” Yunho pipes in and you crane around Mingi to see him. His cheeks are flushed pink, and you can see how frustrated he is, but he tries to ask this question a bit more softly. 

“What about it?” You give him one more chance, just one. 

Yunho clears his throat and says again, “Onboarding. Mingi said it can be a lot, like before,” 

“I had it covered,” You assure him. 

“I just thought,” Yunho shifts from foot to foot, trying to find his words, “I thought maybe if it was as hard as before you’d be out of it, and I, I don’t know,” 

You want to be mad at him, you really do, but that part of his fear makes sense to you. When you think about your time with them and how much you don’t quite remember perfectly, how hard it was to make it home, you get it. 

“Honestly,” You exhale, relaxing the tension a bit, “I am sorry I didn’t text you back. I can understand why you were worried,” 

His shoulders relax with yours, “I’m sorry too,” 

You can’t say it’s okay, but you nod, glancing up to Mingi who’s seemed to soften up a bit too. There’s a long beat between you and finally Mingi asks, “So, we’re good?” 

“Yeah,” You nod, “we’re good,” 

Yunho nods and agrees, “I am really sorry, I really was just worried about you,” 

“I know,” You nod, “I think I should have just texted you, but I didn’t know what to say,” 

“Yeah,” Mingi laughs a little, just a huff and he runs his hand through his short hair, “that’s fair,” 

You smile too and press your hands to your cheeks for a little cool relief, letting out a long sigh as the tension starts to release. It could end here, they could say goodbye and goodnight and you could finish up and then it would be over, but when Yunho shifts and glances between the two of you, you know immediately it won’t be so simple. 

“Well,” Yunho clears his throat, “next time if you’d rather not be alone, you know, I think we’ve done pretty good at staying friends,” 

“Oh,” Your heart feels like it might just fall straight out of your chest, “Yunho, I,” 

“It was weird for a couple of weeks,” He adds, “but,” 

You know you just have to say it, you have to get it out of your mouth before you can’t, and the words bubble up sharp and sudden, “I wasn’t alone,” 

“You weren’t?” Mingi’s brows shoot up. 

Yunho falls silent, ears running dark pink. 

“No,” You shake your head, “I wasn’t,” 

“Of course you weren’t,” Yunho manages, “sorry, that was… I don’t know why I assumed,” 

“Probably because I told you that’s what I normally do,” You soften, “so I understand why you were worried, but I’m telling you that I was fine, taken care of,” 

He asks it like he can’t help himself, the word falling right off his tongue, “Who?” 

You take a half step back, shaking your head, “Yunho, no,” 

“Why not? We’re friends,” Mingi rationalizes. 

They suddenly look so much like jealous lovers you can’t breathe. Something deep in your gut must have been right all along about them, and you don’t know why you can’t stop making this same mistake over and over again. Your biology must really want you to fall for a guy like this but as harsh as the twist in your gut feels, you push it back, refusing to submit. 

“No,” You turn on your heel, “I’m leaving,” 

Hands on your arms pull you back and twist you around in Mingi’s hold, “Fuck,” he says, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, that was so out of line,” 

“You don’t get to ask, okay?” You push him off, putting a foot of distance between you. 

“I know that, we know that,” Mingi nods, holding your gaze and trying to diffuse whatever this conversation has become, “it was stupid, forget it,” 

Yunho moves closer, stopping by Mingi’s side to give you the same distance, “Completely stupid, I’m sorry,” 

You’re already so sick of them apologizing, but you swallow tightly and try to let it go, “Okay,”

“Only,” Yunho pauses, debating on whether or not he should say this and your breath catches in your throat, “only, why didn’t you call us?” 

“What?” You can barely believe him. 

“You don’t have to tell us anything,” Yunho says, looking quickly at Mingi who nods, “I just… I thought you would have called us, and when I saw the paperwork and you didn’t answer I thought maybe something happened.”

The stretching silence between you is crushing you. A flare of anger bubbles in your belly, “You said my heat before was a one time thing.” 

“I never said that.” 

“You did,” You shake your head, and now you just can’t stop the words, “and you know what, Yunho? Maybe this wouldn’t have been so hard and confusing if you didn’t treat me like I was invisible for weeks after we had sex,” 

“You were avoiding me too,” His tongue is quick when he’s angry and you can almost see the regret in his eyes but he doubles down, “both of us.” 

“I’m not going to listen to this,” You cheeks flare with angry blush, “I’m done. We work together, that’s it. I don’t know what you want from me, I’ll get whiplash if you keep-”

Your words die on your tongue, your back connecting with the hard studio wall behind you. You don’t see Mingi coming, your eyes steady on Yunho and you’re about to throw up your hands and leave again when Mingi collides into you, his lips on yours. 

“Mingi!” You squeak against his mouth. 

“Please,” He pleads, shaking his head.  

His body feels so good you might lose your mind entirely. His plush mouth stays on yours, tongue dipping between your lips to flick along yours. His scent envelops you, his hot hands holding you against him, and you melt into him as your body responds to him. He kisses like you’re his only lifeline, messy and hungry and pouring desperation into you ounce by ounce. Your hand tightens on his back. He hitches your leg up onto his hip, pressing your body open for him to slot between your legs. 

Your eyes stay shut as he kisses his way down your jaw, nipping along your skin until his mouth is on your throat, ghosting softly over your pulsepoint. Your mind is spinning, flooded hot, everything falling away and then it all stops. 

Mingi stiffens, body locking up and you hear him take a deep inhale of breath. He rocks back away from you, “Seonghwa?” 

“What?” Yunho’s voice re-enters the mix. 

Mingi steps away from you and you brace your body against the wall, finding your feet under you and trying to catch your breath, “Don’t,” 

“I’m right,” Mingi’s face knits up in confusion, his fists tighten, “fuck,” 

Yunho looks stricken. 

“You slept with Seonghwa?” Mingi repeats.

“Don’t,” You repeat, anger curling inside you and you push off the wall, “we’re friends and maybe I should have texted you, but that’s all we are, you made that perfectly fucking clear after my heat. You don’t get to treat me like I cheated or try to mark your fucking territory,” You scrub your hand across your throat where Mingi kissed you, where he let his tongue linger. 

“We’re not together,” You reiterate, “we’re not in love, or soulmates, or scent matches, or whatever the fuck else people say. We had sex, that’s it.” 

The words are out there, dropped between you like lead and you realize coldly somewhere in the back of your mind, you can never take that back. 

Yunho and Mingi stand stock still at the grenade dropped between you, but then Yunho shifts forwards one step with a tight inhalation of breath.

“That’s not all it was for me,” He manages, and when you meet his eyes your resolve nearly, nearly crumbles. 

“Whatever you feel for me isn’t real, it’s biology,” You shake your head, trying to catch your breath and keep your words straight. If they loved you before they would have come to you then, you just have to hold onto that truth. 

“Don’t tell me what I feel,” Yunho looks away from you, his hands tight, “don’t patronize me.” 

“This is why we should have never,” You shake your head, looking at Mingi like you might see a scrap of reason in his eyes, but you see nothing, pure passive inattention like he’s shut down and left the conversation. 

“y/n,” Yunho shakes his head, “I’m not some lovesick virgin,” 

“I know that,” You sigh, “I didn’t mean,” 

“You did,” Yunho interrupts, “and if you don’t feel the same about us, just say it.” 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” You feel like you’ve entered an entirely different narrative, “You said you wanted to be friends, isn’t that what we are?”

“Friends don’t kiss like that,” Mingi admits gruffly. 

“You kissed me,” You manage. 

“y/n,” Mingi says softly, “I felt it, the way you kissed me back, touched me… there’s something there,” 

“Is that what this is about?” Your jaw tightens, “You think I’m yours?” 

Mingi’s jaw snaps shut, muscles jumping. 

Yunho shakes his head, bringing you back to his eyes, “No,” he sighs, “but,” 

“But what?” You won’t cry, not here, “You’re perfectly fine treating me like I’m invisible until another alpha gets a little too close? I’m a person! A whole entire person, I’m not an omega for you to… to…” 

“I know that!” Yunho exclaims, “I like you. We like you, it has nothing to do with designation,” 

“That’s the most naive sentence I’ve ever heard,” You take a step back, away, closer to the mirrored wall, “if that were true why didn’t you say anything weeks ago?” 

“I didn’t know then,” He insists, looking to Mingi for help but finding none in his vacant eyes. 

“That’s what I’m saying,” You sigh, exasperated, “you’re just realizing it now? Right when I spend my heat with another alpha? You’re confused.” 

“It’s not confusion,” Mingi says simply, “we’re not stupid.” 

“So, you both have feelings for me? Is that what you’re saying?” You bite back, and you clench your fist tight. You won’t cry.

They say nothing, silence filling the room like smoke and you need to get out. 

“After we spent that time together,” You take a steadying breath, “I missed you both so much it hurt. All the time. I would convince myself not to come to your place and knock on the door and… and I don’t know what I wanted. I thought about you all the time, and the things you said and did for me. I missed you so much it made me sick,” 

“Then,” Yunho starts, his voice small but you shake your head. 

“But you didn’t want me,” You insist, “you spent weeks making sure I knew it. Every day you wouldn’t look at me, you wouldn’t talk to me, I’ve never felt so small.”

Mingi’s eyes cloud and he drops his head. 

“And it was hard, but the things I felt for you went away,” You press, despite the tightness in your chest, “with a little time and space, it went away. I know you both care about me, and I care about you, but you don’t love me.” 

“I don’t accept that,” Yunho shakes his head, moving forwards before you can process it, his arms around you as he tucks you into his chest, “how can you say that when this feels the way it does?” 

Your head throbs with the scent of him, washing through you and making your limbs go soft and your heartbeat slow to a stutter instead of a pounding thump, but your brain clicks back into place and you wriggle in his arms, “Let me go,” 

He leans away, cupping your cheek in his hand to draw your face up to his gaze, “Don’t you?” He manages, voice cracking gently. 

You’re dizzy, mind flooded and confused, but you try, “I don’t,” 

His thumb strokes a gentle line over your cheekbone, shifting just a little closer, “y/n,”

“Yunho,” You manage, your voice shaking as you try to stay level, “if you kiss me now, there’s nothing for us.” 

His brow creases as he studies your eyes, exhaling an unsteady breath. 

“I’ll go, I’ll find another studio.” You grip your hand tight and let your nails dig into your soft palm, “I need you to let me go, please, let me go,” 

His arms fall away, and he takes two sizable steps back, running a hand through his hair, “After everything, that’s it?” 

“It has to be,” Your eyes feel prickly, “I’ve moved on. I need you both to do the same. Find someone else, another omega. I know you think you want me, but it’s just your alphas talking. And maybe we could have been more than this, but you hurt me, you both did, and I’ve moved on.” 

“I shouldn’t have kissed you,” Mingi manages. 

“No,” You shake your head, “you shouldn’t have.”

“I’m sorry,” His voice is small. 

“This,” Yunho tries to say something, but his voice is thick with emotion and he clears his throat, words dying on his lips. 

“I’m sorry too,” You finally add, “and I thought we could go back to being friends, but this, it hurts too much.” 

“What do we do?” Yunho asks, voice hollow. 

“I need some space,” You swallow tightly, “we’ll do the work, but that’s it. If we ever have a shot at being friends someday, at feeling like this isn’t always there… that’s what I need, and maybe we can fix this.”

“Okay,” Mingi says. 

“Tour,” Yunho takes a deep breath, and you realize now that he has tears flooding his eyes that he’s doing his best to blink away, “we’ll be gone for months,” 

He’s right, in a matter of weeks they’ll be gone with a small group of the BB Trippin dance crew to Europe. You have your focus here with the newly debuting group alongside Dahan and Yujin, but they don’t, they’re leaving with New World and it would be almost three full months until they’d be back in Korea. 

“Good,” You breathe, ignoring the pit forming in your stomach at the thought of not seeing them, “then let’s just get through the next few weeks, but after that you go. Don’t text me, don’t call me, just… move on.” 

Silence stretches, but Yunho nods. 

If you stay here for one more minute you’re going to cry, “I have to go,” 

He nods again. 

There’s more to say, you can feel it, but you can’t do it now and you have to push yourself to get out the door. You push past them as quickly as you can, eyes on the door in front of you, but Yunho follows behind and catches you once more in the hall. 

“y/n,” He doesn’t touch you, but calls after you in the hall, but you don’t turn around you can’t. If you look at him one more time you’ll cry, you’ll go back, you’ll throw all the things you said to the side just to feel his arms around you one more time or Mingi’s lips on yours and you can’t. You have to be better than this, for yourself. 

You stop though and turn your head just a little to let him know you’re listening. 

“I’m,” His voice tightens and hitches, “I’m really fucking sorry we lost you,” 

Hot tears overflow at his words, spilling over down your cheeks and you drop your head and nod. You grip your hands tighter and steady yourself and hope to god that your voice will hold up, “Me too,” 

He takes a tight, wet inhale and you have to move, one more second in this hallway and you’ll want nothing more than to comfort him, to soothe your alpha and smooth this moment over, but the latent thought of him as yours strikes panic in your chest and you push forward down the hall.

You round the corner at the end by the office, and the image of him coming out of the doorway that first night won’t leave you alone, the way he softened when he saw you in heat, the way he took you in his arms. 

You stifle a sob with your hand over your lips, and then you’re running. Out of here, away from this, and you don’t know where you’re going until you get there, every step a blur. 

You knock fast on San’s door, and you feel bad about crashing their night, but you can barely breathe and you need to see a friendly face or you just might fall apart. You had gotten your tears under control on your way over, out of sheer embarrassment that you were crying in the middle of the street, but tightness gathers in your throat now as you wait for an answer to the door and pins prick the back of your eyes. 

You hear shuffling on the opposite side of the door, a hand on the knob, and tears spill over already. 

San’s smiling when he opens the door, looking over his shoulder back into the main living space and finishing saying something to Wooyoung who’s inside, and your breath hitches. 

His eyes settle on you, “y/n?” His face falls as he sees your tears, “What?” 

“S-San,” Your tears rush faster, your words cut off in a sob and you launch yourself forwards to collide with his chest, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your face in his shoulder, sobs wracking yours. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” He stumbles back, wrapping his arms around you, “what’s going on?” 

“y/n’s here?” Wooyoung’s voice comes from the side and you can’t stop yourself from crying harder. 

“I need you to breathe,” San soothes you, his voice low, “I need you to tell me what happened,” 

You shake your head into his neck, hiccuping as you do. 

“Are you hurt?” He presses, one of his hands sliding up your sides to search your body, “I need you to talk to me,” 

You drag in a shaky breath, but Wooyoung sees you now and jumps forwards, “Is she hurt?” 

“Woo,” San interrupts him, “hang on, okay, just,” 

“I’m,” You clear your throat, “I’m not hurt,”

San exhales heavily, relieved at your words and nods, cupping the back of your head, “Alright, just breathe,” 

“What the hell happened?” Wooyoung says. 

“I know as much as you do,” San says, “just grab her stuff and let’s get inside,” 

“Yeah,” You hear Wooyoung moving, picking up your bag from the floor outside his apartment door, and then you hear it click shut. 

“y/n,” San tries again as you try to get your breathing under control, “can you tell me what happened?” 

“I t-talked to Yunho and Mingi,” You murmur wetly into his shirt. 

“What the fuck did those idiots do?” Wooyoung’s hand settles between your shoulder blades as he shifts closer to try and catch your eyes. 

“It’s a mess,” You manage. 

“Woo,” San says softly, “get her a glass of water,” 

“But,” Wooyoung starts. 

“Go.” San insists. 

Wooyoung’s hand leaves you. 

“y/n,” San says, “come inside and sit down,”

You peel yourself away from him, covering your face immediately as tears continue to roll down your cheeks, but San steers you inside with a warm arm until you’re sinking down onto the couch. 

“Water,” Wooyoung says, holding an icy cold glass in his hand and taking his spot on the extended length of the sectional so he can angle towards you and see your face, “drink this,” 

He presses the glass into your hands and you take a shaky sip, the cold shocking your brain a little as you try to get a little more down. 

San tugs the coffee table a little closer and takes a seat on the wood top and then leans forward to catch your eyes, elbows resting on his knees, “Can you tell us what happened?” 

You sigh deeply and then recover your breath, wiping your eyes with the sleeve of your sweater, “They know,” 

“About this weekend?” San surmises. 

“Just Seonghwa,” You clarify, taking another sip of water, “they were so angry, I didn't want to tell them the rest,” 

“Fucking assholes,” Wooyoung curses, his jaw tightening as he looks away. 

“What else?” San’s voice is gentle, so unlike confident alpha tone you had gotten used to, “You can tell us,” 

“They… I mean, Yunho… he said that they,” The words get jumbled in your mind as you flash back to the studio room, “it’s all so fucked, they’re acting like this is…”

“Babe,” Wooyoung plucks the glass from your hands and passes it to San, returning his hands to yours so he can steady your shakes, “you’re not making a lot of sense, and I’m about two seconds from driving over to their place and castrating them. I need you to please tell me they didn’t do anything stupid,” 

“Youngie,” San sighs, exasperated. 

You shake your head, “No,” you manage, “they have feelings for me, they said… when they found out about my heat they were so…”

“Now?” Wooyoung’s eyebrows go high, “Now they have feelings for you?” 

“That’s basically what I said,” Your lips turn up in the smallest smile. 

“What else?” San cuts through the commentary. 

“If they had said something, anything weeks ago,” You trail off. 

“They didn’t though,” San reminds you, “and that’s on them. Not on you.” 

“So you fought?” Wooyoung surmises. 

You wipe your eyes again and nod, “It was awful,” 

“I’m sorry,” Wooyoung takes your hands in his, smoothing his thumbs over the back of your knuckles, “We all knew they might be upset, we shouldn’t have left you alone,” 

“I handled it,” You shake your head, the telltale feeling of a migraine coming on in the back of your skull from how many tears you’ve shed, “I… just - I don’t know why this is so hard,” 

San shifts forwards, cupping your cheek in his hand and soothing you, “How about you stay over tonight? We can order some takeout and just forget about this for now,” 

“I’ve got soju if you need a drink,” Wooyoung adds, “whatever you need, we’re here,” 

“I just want to know what to do,” You push San’s hands away and drag your fingers through your hair, “it shouldn’t be this hard,” 

“How did you leave it?” Wooyoung asks gently, hand on your knee. 

Yunho’s words in the hallway strike back through your chest, but you shake your head, “Kind of terribly,” 

“Okay,” He prompts you for a little more. 

“I told them to go on tour and to not contact me so we can get some space,” You say it in a single breath and then you duck your head in your hands again. 

“Damn,” Wooyoung grimaces. 

“I know,” You sniff back fresh tears, “maybe I should have stayed, but, I just… I couldn’t,” 

“y/n,” San pulls your hands down and takes them in his, smoothing his thumbs over the soft hollows of your palms, “you did the right thing. Space is good,” 

“Is it?” You said it, and in the moment you believed it, but months without speaking to them feels like torture. 

“It’s good,” He nods, wiping away your tears, “you need time to figure out how you feel and they need time to do the same. You’re never going to be able to get it if you’re working on top of each other every day,” 

You let San’s words sink in and you know he’s right. All of the talking and the not talking with them up to this point had just left your relationship a jumbled mess. Time away could fix this. You knew it deep in your gut in the studio as you backed out the door and you know it now. 

With a deep breath you scrub your hands under your eyes to clear away the last remnants of tears and any smudged mascara and you nod, “Woo,” you face him, “where’s that soju?” 

“On it,” He grins, “I know exactly what you need,” 

“Yeah?” 

“Mhm,” Wooyoung hops up and heads for San’s kitchen, “Beer, soju, and junk food. I’m making chapagetti,” 

You groan, knowing exactly what your body is going to feel like tomorrow.

“At least put some protein on it,” San calls back, “for the love of god,” 

“Sannie,” Wooyoung says, his head clearly in the fridge at the muffled tone, “just let me work my magic,” 

“Mhm,” San shakes his head. 

“I’m going to be so hungover tomorrow aren’t I?” 

“Definitely,” San laughs, “but you can crash here, we’ll take care of you.” 

You nod, knowing they absolutely will. 

When Wooyoung hands you the cold glass of beer and the shot you clink your glass with him and knock it back in sync and for a little while you put it all out of your mind. 

It isn’t until later, in the safe darkness of San’s bedroom with your best friends on either side of you, that you feel like the words might make it out of your mouth without it all ending around you. The alcohol in your system has started to dissipate, leaving you exhausted and a little heavy feeling, but your thoughts are starting to stitch back together and you just have to tell them. 

You’re snuggled tight to Wooyoung’s chest, your forehead pressed to his sternum, San behind you but not really touching you, just laying on his back and staying close enough to give you the comfort of another body. You can’t stop replaying it, seeing them when they realized you had been with not just someone else but someone they knew. 

You don’t know what possesses you, but in the darkness you murmur, “Mingi kissed me,” 

Wooyoung’s breathing hitches for just a moment as he registers your words, but he recovers cleanly, his fingers just running over your hair again and again, “When?” 

“Tonight,” You shift, pushing yourself to lie on your back between the two of them, “I think he was trying to show me he meant it,”

They let your words sit there for a moment, and then Wooyoung turns to look at you, “How do you feel about it?” 

“Stupid,” You exhale, answering honestly, “really fucking stupid,” 

“Why?” San props up on one arm, hand on his cheek and brow furrowed as he looks down at you. 

You feel the outline of his mouth on yours again, his hands and how they held you, how much he poured into one moment just to get you to understand. “Because,” You answer, “all I could think about was how much I missed him,” 

“y/n,” Wooyoung murmurs, “do you think they meant it? That their feelings are real?” 

“Maybe,” You say, “but the timing,” 

“Yeah,” 

“And besides,” You shake your head, “I said some things I shouldn’t have,” 

“Like?” San asks. 

“I told them they fucked it up,” You blink back tears, “and that we weren’t soulmates and that they’re wrong,” 

“Oh,” San says, “that’s direct,” 

“I know,” You groan, dropping your hands over your eyes, “I was just so angry,” 

“Space will be good then,” Wooyoung offers, “you all need a breather.” 

“There’s no easy way to work together when that’s how you left it,” San points out, “so time away gives you all a chance to rethink some things and get some clarity,” 

“What if,” The words die in your throat. 

“What?” San nudges you. 

“What if they come back and nothing’s fixed,” You sigh, “what if it’s worse?” 

“You won’t know it until it happens,” San takes your hand in his, lacing your fingers together, “you can’t control everything, y/n, sometimes you just have to let things work out.” 

You nod, and then you ask the question you’ve been afraid of since you walked out the studio door, “Should I have just stayed? If… if they do have feelings for me, and they’re real, should I have just stayed?” 

“It would have been easier,” Wooyoung murmurs, “but babe, you’d still have the same questions,” 

“Yeah,” You breathe, stomach in knots.

“Tour is soon,” San reminds you, “you got through weeks of the cold shoulder last time, you can do this,” 

You nod. 

“It’s late,” Wooyoung comments. 

“I know,” You murmur. 

“It’s going to be okay,” San says, “I know it will.”

“You’re right,” You breathe, “I just think it shouldn’t be this hard, if we were meant to work out, shouldn’t it be easier than this?” 

They’re quiet for a moment and then San sighs, “Probably,” 

Wooyoung turns and looks at him, his lips closing before he shrugs and rolls towards you, snuggling up to your side. 

“What?” You nudge him, reading through his silence. 

“Nothing,” He says. 

“Woo,” You nudge him harder. 

“I just think you shouldn’t close any doors,” 

“Mm,” 

“I’m just saying,” He wraps an arm around your middle, “take the break from them, see how you feel later. You’re overthinking this,”

San drags his thumb over your knuckles and Wooyoung shifts closer, resting his head on your shoulder. The quiet stretches around you as you take in his words. He might be right, but you can’t think about that now. Not with the day you’ve had and the headache behind your eyes. 

The fight plays over and over again in your mind every time you close your eyes, a loop of Mingi’s mouth on yours and Yunho’s eyes shining with tears. The feeling of their hands on you, begging you to stay. The look on their faces when they realized you had sought out another alpha for your heat, and not just any, but one of their best friends. You wonder what might have changed had you texted them back, who you might have met at the studio today instead. 

That’s not all it was for me. 

A little piece of you wishes you could take back everything you said.