I Want To Rage, To Erase This Crushing Sense Of Helplessness In My Lungs. To Snarl Instead Of Sobbing.

why is writing fanfic so hard. i just want to be able to sit down, think my idea, and have it magically show up in my doc exactly how i see it.

Introducing the Be More Chill Archive!

The Be More Chill Archive is a free online resource for artists, cosplayers, etc. to find references of costumes, props, set, and more from the musical Be More Chill. The archive contains references from all 5 official productions of the show. Feel free to comb through it or add references yourself!

You can find it here!

so okay you know how there's different mischas in all the us performances and how rtcblr mainly has access to 2016, 2018, and 2019?? well, here i have some notes i have that i think provide insight into how each actor has a different interpretation of mischa!!

2016: this is gus' mischa that we've mostly been collectively thirsting over. the most notable difference is that he's not using his ukrainian accent, but a us (possibly canadian??) one. i think this increases the divide between his true self and the person he pretends to be for the sake of the town. he feels like he needs to fit in and show of his middle-class wealth that he didn't have in ukraine. it also highlights how mischa's rage is in part created by the town, how he may have been far more passionate in ukraine, and is only filled with rage so much now that he must live amongst his mother's murderers. something else i saw for No Reason At All is that he doesn't do a body roll when his shirt is ripped open? he just stands there? and i think that this means halper's mischa feels like he has to have this sense of stability, rather than sexualisation. this tracks with fall fair, in which he says "sex... why did i wait?". granted, he has a desire for it, but it's something he hasn't canonically engaged in, and possibly doesn't want to be associated with it as a result. that being said, he still grabs his dick the most. back to the stability thing, he feels like he has to be a provider, he has to steal the communion wine for his cousin, he has to give noel vodka and comfort (notice how noel hugs him while they're sitting down and bonding individually), he has to look after everyone, like he couldn't look after his mother, or the choir on the rollercoaster. maybe that's why he jumps away from noel in disgust when they land in limbo - not because of fruity feelings, but because he doesn't like how noel has his arms around him, rather than the other way around. he is internally a wounded bird, so he overcompensates by making sure no one else feels that way. also: i don't know where this comes into analysis but since mischa is a baritone part, the actors don't necessarily have to be in chest voice for all of this song is awesome. standley and duffy are, but halper uses falsetto for the higher bits in tsia!!

2018: adam's mischa is far more of an awkward teenager, he slouches a lot in the rap section of his performance, and he tends to have shorter, more run-together rhythms. however, in the choruses, when he's directly engaging with constance and ricky, he is far more confident and looks up more. he also takes a photo with ricky in the "0101011" bit!! from this, i get that standley's mischa cares a lot about his relationships with others and finds more value in that than other versions of the character. he's showing the most of himself off in the bridge, making eye contact, his shirt buttons open, body-rolling, when he is surrounded by the rest of the choir. i'd also argue that he's the most "sexual" (i'm using airquotes bc literally none of them do anything otherwise this would be a very different show") in how he performs with constance. he also checks out the girls in the line (btw this doesn't "disprove" nischa for me, because i think a through-line of this song its performative nature and therefore performative heterosexuality"). in the second chorus, he puts his arm around her while she feels his chest, indicating that this version of the character has greater sexual desires than the others, or that he wants to be perceived as such more (i'd have to see/listen to a full show with standley performing as mischa).

2019: i think that chaz's mischa has the most actual confidence of these three versions? by this, i mean that his doesn't seem performative in the same way as gus' or adam's (although, again, i'd need to see the whole show for this). he seems a lot more self-assured, which fits with the "rupaul's drag race" line change, as that indicates that he is secure in his sexuality, whatever that may be. also, i just want to point out how noel is basically spanking ocean in the hard rock cafe bit. like this is how noel and ocean perceive heterosexuality. amazing, i love it. duffy's mischa also makes the most use of the stage - even in his independent rap parts, he moves around a lot and looks at the audience, kind of like a concert (she says, having never been to a rap concert). he seems far more confident of his life's awesomeness rather than the other mischas, who almost need to convince themselves. it's possible that this is a more developed mischa, who's ready to move on and is already grateful for what he got despite his tragic circumstances. all he misses is talia and his mother. and, the line "feeling homesick for my homies in the ukraine/landing in kyiv before we finish off the champagne" is rapped in a way that makes it feel as though he is much more certain that he will be able to give those things to them. maybe this mischa views "what's behind the curtain" as his friends and family before coming to uranium.

When people ask you, “Why do you watch One Piece?” Or like “One Piece is overrated and sucks.” show them this.

My jaw is on the floor. The transitions are sick!! 🔥🔥🔥

A lurking sense of mistrust…

it came to me in a vision and then i spent two hours working on it

critical to the evan/jared dynamic is that evan is also a huge asshole, he's just so much quieter with how he goes about it. only calling jared when he needs something, body blocking jared when jared goes to talk to Mrs Murphy, ditching jared the moment it was feasible for him to do so. don't get me wrong, jared is also Asshole, but he's so much louder with it. almost as if it's a facade hmm. evan does a lot of mean selfish things that he wants to pretend aren't because that's how he copes with the loathing. please note the "I don't even THINK mean things" line.

this is like. a huge facet of the show and yet. the take of "Jared is horrible to sweet bean Evan who just wanted to help. It was Jared's idea to lie anyway!!" continue to fester, a sentiment that's certainly not helped by the movie. evan IS an asshole, he's a selfish dick that people assume has much purer intentions because he's anxious. the infantilization of anxiety disorder explode. now. but evan is also very desperate and miserable and isolated. which like. everyone is. everyone in deh is miserable and isolated and sucks a little. sucking a little is the spice of life.

he’s a ghost story

Reblog for a miracle to happen tonight