Idk if yall have seen the trend but I could only thought of Will
Look I’m not the biggest JayRoy fan bc I have shipped DickRoy since I was like 13. However this idea is rlly funny to me.
Bc Dick helped Roy raise Lian in the beginning when he was lost and needed to get his life together.
If Roy and Jason started dating
And Roy introduced her to his boyfriend
And it’s Uncle Dicks little brother.
You think shes calling him anything else???
Like picture this bc once again these. Characters are like 9000 years old and they do not follow the timelines of aging
Lian is born and Dick is helping Roy out in person for a long time, but by the time she’s like 6-7 Dicks very busy with Gotham and bludhaven and new York and him and Roy have had a bunch of falling outs but they’re not letting affect the kid but Dick doesn’t visit as much in person.
Lian is still very attached so Roy will sometimes call Dick on FaceTime and let Lian update him about her life and everything and ramble and for a while that’s the only times Dick and Roy have contact is the text message of
You free Lian misses you?
And Dick spoils the kid rotten, he sends her birthday presents but also half birthday and quarter birthday present. if Roy needs to be somewhere Dick will take her on a trip somewhere just the two of them.
He tells her about his family and Lian becomes obsessed with becoming an acrobat. In the way kids are this gets tacked onto everything else she wants to become
She doesn’t wanna be an astronaut no she wants to be an acrobat astronaut.
She doesn’t wanna be a doctor she wants to be an acrobat doctor.
So on
He tells her cartoon versions of what happens in his life
So the penguin is peddling drugs through the city that he’s purchasing through laundering money with illegal businesses
Becomes
A penguin walked into a laundromat and ate all the Pennies so now he has go find the penguin to get the money back.
And it’s an event when he does come to see her.
She gets so excited and happy bc Dick carries her around all the time and she gets princess treatment 24/7. And he teaches her games they used to play back in the circus and at first Roy was worried bc Dick doesn’t exactly have a scale of normal and he’s not gonna call dick and talk To him but that’s not something they’ve done in years
but then Lian falls off the monkey bars at day care and flips before landing on her feet, perfectly fine.
And when they call him about it they ask about it bc what is a kid doing with flips ofc they’re curious but whatever he is doing? The moms want to know? Is there a class because that could’ve been a really nasty fall and catching yourself is a very good skill to have especially as an active child.
And when he asks Lian if she was scared “no! It’s like game uncle Dick taught me why would I be scared!”
And Roy calls Dick for the first time in years just to talk to him not for him to chat to Lian.
And he asks and Dick just kinda awkwardly admits that that’s how his parents taught him not to be afraid of heights or falls. If you teach kids a life skill through a game they’re less likely to freak in the real life scenario. And Roy is kinda reminded why he became friends with this asshole and why he stuck around and it kinda rekindles their friendship.
And then Roy starts dating Jason and it’s on the DL, bc Jason has issues and Roy isn’t going to introduce someone who isn’t a certain thing to his child. Right.
But things are going well
Very well
And then he decides well fuck it
And they tell people
And everyone is happy for them even Dick despite his very very pained “really Roy my kid brother?”
“Are you gonna give me the shovel talk Grayson”
“God no, you’re a titan which means you’re family which just makes this weird because people I both consider family are dating.”
And then Roy tells Lian
And she is pissed
“Why is Uncle Dicks little brother here”
“Well Lian he’s gonna be around a lot more”
“Does that mean uncle dick is gonna visit more”
“No sweetie but you see uncle dick a lot, Jay over here will just be more around”
“…why?”
“Well because he’s daddy’s boyfriend now”
“Like how Casey’s new mommy and daddy are boyfriend girlfriend”
“Yeah sweetie exactly”
“So he’s gonna be like my new daddy?”
“Well no, unless you want him to but-“
“I don’t”
“What Lian-“
Lian is very angry because she wants her uncle Dick around more and when she told her friend at school her friend said that her new stepmom was around more since her and her friends dad got married
She then logically assumed the ideal way to get her uncle around more was simply to force Dick and Roy to get married.
And since Dick asks for a list of things she wants every year for her birthdays and Easter and Christmas and st. Patrick’s day and All Saints’ Day and Eid and Labor Day and Halloween and holi and Passover and … (no she does not realize not everyone gets gifts on all the holidays that exist, this is very normal to her. Roy had to rent a storage room by the time she was 5)
And Dick has never once not gotten her what she wanted (once she asked to meet the penguin who stole the Pennies and dick took her to the zoo and the showed her the penguin who had a little ziploc baggie of coins tied around its middle-she pointed out that he still had the Pennies and dick said that he felt bad and let him keep just a few)
So anyway she was gonna ask for them to get married on her Christmas list but she wanted to ride a pony and so she was gonna add it to her 1/4 birthday list but now her dad is ruining it because she knows you have to be boyfriend girlfriend before you get married and this is not fair.
So she has a parent trap style vendetta against Jason. He is Meredith Blake.
And Jason who loves little kids is devastated bc his boyfriend’s kid does not like him.
And Roy is confused bc Lian and never acted like this ever.
And Dick has no idea what’s going on bc Lian is eternally an angel with him bc he has gentle parented the shit out of her and also bc he will never see anything she does as wrong ever he knew her when she was a baby that young lady is perfect if you say a derogatory word against her he’ll steal your knee caps.
And one day Lian calls him from preschool and is like “daddy is busy he wants to ask if can you pick me up” and Dick of course says yes because they’ve done this before and sometimes you only have time to make one last phone call.
So he picks Lian up.
And Roy gets there and freaks bc where the HELL IS HIS CHILD. And bc he’s a hero he assumes his identity is compromised and calls Ollie and everything is on lockdown and WTH his going on.
And like 8 hours later Dick calls him and he almost doesn’t pick up and Jason is trying to calm him down and they’re all tracking her but on a whim he answers cuz maybe Dick can help find his baby.
“Hey Roy any ideas when you’re coming to pick Lian up or should I take a day off work tomorrow?”
“What?”
“Dude are you okay you sound wrecked what the hell happened”
“Lian is with you?”
“Yeah- what’s happening Roy?”
“Why is LIAN WITH YOU?”
“She…called me to tell me you were busy and needed someone to pick her up.”
“I-“
“Roy is everything okay”
“She- she called you?”
“Yeah? from the school telephone the same way she does Everytime you have a mission. Roy brief me? Are you okay? Is? Is Jason alright?”
“Can- put Lian on the phone right now.”
“Roy-“
“NOW GRAYSON!”
“Yeah sure okay”
“Hi daddy!”
“Lian why did you ask Dick to pick you up?”
“Yep!”
“Why?”
“Because you were busy”
Deep inhale “who told you I was busy”
“You did”
“I did not-“
“Yeahhh u did, you said you would be with Uncle Dicks little brother”
“What does that have to do with-“
“Go be gross with him I’m mad at you”
“You’re mad at me, young lady I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU FOR HOURS.”
“Why? Just because you forgot about uncle dick doesn’t mean I did”
“Wha- Lian what are you talking about”
They go to Dicks apartment and Lian explains that she is very cross with Roy because he knows uncle dick is her favorite baby sitter and it’s not fair that he gets to marry Jason when Dick is her favorite and since everyone knows that it’s babysitter and dad , boyfriend girlfriend, married. And that’s how Roy finds out that Casey’s new mommy used to be her babysitter and his daughter has been under the assumption that him and Dick were gonna get married since she was four.
And it’s annoying because Jason has never babysat her this whole time and Dick is her favorite baby sitter and he’s dating Dicks brother like that’s the wrong one dad.
Anyway Dick excuses himself to laugh until he cries in his room and Roy is bluescreening while staring at his daughter.
They clear some stuff up but when she’s mad she still calls Jason uncle dicks little brother.
I like to think that thanks to Jason's death, Dick's hair became straighter and let it grew bacause he couldn't care less. He was trying to be a good brother to Tim tho, and Timmy was trying to also be a good brother but you know, he was doing the best a little kid could know.
DC PAY FOR MY FUCKING Therspy bill istg
Being in Gotham-side of Internet must be so fun. Like, you open YouTube, and when searching for work-outs, you find "Batman working out routine." Or, you scroll through articles and bump into another 300 conspiracies about Signal. Instagram has reels with Timothy Drake inspired looks. Twitter keeps shipping Orphan & Spoiler and writing blind items about them. Damian Wayne is a constant guest on Reddit, giving advices how to take care of different types of animals. Circuses in the town have the whole Nightwing and Boy Wonder inspired shows. Girls on Tiktok try to re-create Red Robin's wings for the upcoming Comicon. Tumblr keeps score on Red Hood's mystery weapons appearing out of nowhere, trying to figure out if he is meta or not. Bruce Wayne's thrist edits flooding every social media. Local true crime podcasters have a series of episodes on Jason Todd's mysterious death.
Dick is a pretty boy. Everyone knows it, except him.
There is an unwritten rule about not hitting him in the face, everyone follows it, (even from his time as Robin some people already followed this rule). His siblings when by miracle they train together. His team when they get together to practice strategies and fighting methods. Even the damned villains and evildoers know not to hit the pretty bird in the face.
Dick never finds it strange. Somehow, he thinks it's simply because people have learned that punching him in the face isn't really going to stop him, if they're looking to confuse him, hitting the back of his head is more effective.
It's not until a drug dealer accidentally hits him in the nose for the first time in years, breaking it, that he notices something strange. How could he not? The battle stops for a moment because his companions start yelling at him, telling him that his face is off limits, and the dealer apologizes.
Dick barely blinks and stops them, then goes to his apartment to clean up the blood, the pain not even bothering him at this point. That's why he doesn't understand why not only his team makes a fuss about it the next day, but they even call his siblings to tell them what happened. He's not even that hurt ??????
The only other person who doesn't make a fuss about it is Batman, who has punched Dick in the face enough times to find it odd. Nobody is happy with Batman upon discovering that fact.
Broo the fact that u can tell who’s dancing HAHAH I LOVE THIS
Fuck this is GOLD the whole dancing sequence of the skeletons of dead boys detectives I didn't know this existed
Btw I saw it on twitter where it also explains the details from the opening credits https://x.com/Bowtiedino/status/1796971544545038682?t=GtscLrWq6-_J-xlINf6vrA&s=19
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to reintroduce Jason to the world Bruce decides to just mysteriously announce that he’s adopted a new son and will introduce him at the next Wayne gala. all of Gotham is buzzing about the new child Bruce is gonna appear with. Jason cries from laughing.
Gothamite: what the. what
Bruce, grinning ear to ear, hand on Jason’s shoulder: this is my new son!
Gothamite: he’s not new.
Dick: well, repurposed.
Bruce: i don’t know what you’re all talking about! son, introduce yourself!
Gothamite: he’s not- you already- i thought this one was dead?!?
Jason, completely straight faced: hello, my name is Todd, Todd Jason.
Gothamite:
Tim, tiredly to Damian: and this is why we don’t let B and Jay make important decisions after they’ve shared 3 bottles of wine.
Idk if I should post this on ig cuz looks kinda messy, but theyre my old fav cuties
Update: I did lol