I Headcanon That Lance Says Things Like "holy Crow" And "this Castle Has Gone Apples And Bananas" Because

I enjoy wading through murky waters. Sensing the frantic-nibblings of an unknowable creature against the bares of your feet and legs, far from the casts of your vision, is a sense truly-miasmic in nature. Knowing a mere layer of skin separates the volumes of your insides to that of the wide volumes around you, feeling the buoyancy of your blood bobbing in alarmed instinct to the cold impermeability of the mire.

Concept: Bungou Stray Dogs but the Atsushi’s a reverse weretiger.

He’s a tiger that can turn into a human.

The bounty was placed on his human side (people were pretty chill bout a tiger roaming round apparently) and his cover was instantly blown when Atsushi the tiger saved Dazai and turned human right infront of him.

It’s the fastest case that’s ever been closed and Atsushi’s still embarrassed about it.

Being raised more tiger then human (because the orphanage wouldn’t dare treat him as anything but a wild beast) Atsushi is pretty feral.

He doesn’t really understand much of the world given he was imprisoned and just relies on tiger instincts.

It’s okay though tea on rice is still his favourite food.

He starts to get the hang of things once All Men are Equals kicks in and he’s able to change form at will.

Though he prefers to be a tiger and as stated previously people are just weirdly chill about a tiger roaming around Yokohama.

Because giant tiger it may be but it’s still Atsushi. Besides he’s got a lil badge that says he’s with the Agency.

And frankly no one wants to question what they’re doing.

Definitely been moments when Atsushi drops his human form to get out of an argument. He does this to Akutugawa a lot and the man will carry on while Atsushi pretends he can’t understand him.

Atsushi does keep his human form as he works though he’s had to relearn a few things. Reading is something he managed to teach himself but writing isn’t his best suit.

The orphanage didn’t exactly care to teach a beast any of these things.

Kunikida does take him aside and teach him how. He still makes mistakes here and there but everyone’s supportive.

Atsushi’s also gotta be aware of if Dazai’s in a “annoy Kunikida mood.”

Well more than usual.

Because Dazai will grin with mischief and tap Atsushi and suddenly there’s a giant tiger in the middle of the office and oh oh fuck the paperwork!

Fortunately Kunikida has since stopped yelling at Atsushi for these instances and so Dazai gets the full brunt of his wrath.

Deserved.

There’s a joke in there about how Dazai’s ability renders (quite literally) no longer human.

Dead Apple was certainly interesting because with his ability gone Atsushi couldn’t exactly speak anymore. But Kyouka and the others know him well enough to understand his growls and such.

Akutagawa got right pissed about it because I knew you could understand me! And then dedicated more time he would never admit too to understanding tiger Atsushi.

Dazai showing up at the end to explain his side and instead Atsushi runs over and he opens his arms to get absolutely swept up in a tiger hug.

Ganyu: nice rock.

Venti: thanks, Zhongli gave it to me.

Zhongli: i threw it at you!

Venti: isn’t he the sweetest.

[being told they're the chosen one]

Damian: I will not let you down.

Cassandra: Sounds fun.

Tim: K.

Jason: No I'm fucking not.

Duke: Do I have to be?

Dick: Please no, I am so tired.

"If I don't reply by tomorrow, then consider me dead." It's been two years since you got that message, and you haven't seen them since. Suddenly, your phone lights up: "Sorry, that took longer than I thought."

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

wizard advice 🔮

my mum just called "scrolling on Tumblr" "scrumbling"