Reblog If You Would Bitchslap A Child For Being Cruel To An Animal.

fierce

A whole ton of beautiful gay rat/rodent babies (they don't have to be gay, they can be any other sexuality, I just want rats)

ok everyone it’s time to create the perfect tumblr post let’s brainstorm some ideas

dream address: 4800 2398 3734

super creepy town with a boarding school theme, i think.

my favorite part is the hospital room, it’s got a kinda silent hill thing going on!

d’you think eddie ever looks down at his faucet and sees a very squished venom in his reflection.

eddie. why are you laughing eddie. what is so funny. I do not understand.

Here is a diagram of Zacharie gently teaching.

Eddie Brock after realizing Venom was still alive.

Columbiners are like “there’s an orb in my selfie I think it’s Dylan Klebold watching over me” Like dude why would a 17 year old kid that hated the world want to watch over your special snowflake ass he just wanted to watch foot porn and die it’s probably a dead relative or something

Venom: “LADIES AND MUDDAFUCKIN GENTLEMEN. YA BOI, THE LEGENDARY CHEEK SPREADER IS BACK AND BLACKER THAN EVER AND I’M LOOKING FOR A FRESH TIGHT CHOCOLATE STARFISH TO KNUCKLE FUCK ALL THE WAY UP TO YOUR COLON AND NOW WHO VOLUNTEERS TO BE MY FIRST VICTIM”

Eddie, all the way in the back: [slowly raises his hand]

coming soon: the duolingo owl will break into your home at night and beat the shit out of you if you don’t know the word for potato in french

You should hurry home. Simon and I are waiting.

Markus uses his powers for good seduction.

___________________

Connor is relaxing at Hank’s house, sitting on the couch and petting Sumo while watching the basketball game. As the game nears the end, Hank is hollering the screen when a foul ball is called and suddenly Connor seems more alert, tense even. Then he appears calm for a bit, and then suddenly is gripping his jean clad thighs, and a moment after that his eyes go comically wide.

Hank misses all this, having been cheering that the other team missed their free throws and that Michigan was still in the game.

A few moments pass before Connor clears his throat, and abruptly stands up and dusts the dog hair off his legs.

Connor: Uh, Hank, it’s about time I go. Thanks for the evening.

Hank, engrossed in the game: What? There’s 4 minutes left on the clock how could you leave now?

Connor: I… oh, I really, really should get going.

Hank looks up from the and notices the android acting nervous: Are you alright, Connor?

Connor, defensively: Yes, absolutely. I’m just going to call a cab and see myself out. Good night!

—— What Really Happened ——

Connor is relaxing at Hank’s house, sitting on the couch and petting Sumo while watching the basketball game.

As the game nears the end, Hank is hollering the screen when a foul ball is called and suddenly Connor seems more alert, tense even.

Markus, telepathically: You should hurry home. Simon and I are waiting.

Connor: The game is almost over, I’ll be home soon.

Then he appears calm for a bit, and then suddenly is gripping his jean clad thighs, and a moment after that his eyes go comically wide.

Markus: Simon’s lips are so soft. You remember kissing them, don’t you? And Simon always has that bruising grip on your hips when you press against him and bite at his ear. And you can feel his grip convulse when you slip a hand up under his shirt…

Connor: Markus, stop! I’m at Hank’s!

Hank misses all this, having been cheering that the other team missed their free throws and that Michigan was still in the game.

Markus: I’ll stop the moment you walk through our bedroom door. God, that bedroom door. Do you remember when I pushed you against that door frame and pushed up your shirt? When my mouth was on your chest, you squirmed and whimpered like you were trying to escape, like you wanted to run away from pleasure.

Connor: Shit! Markus, I literally have like 5 more minutes please just wait I can’t do this at Hank’s.

Markus: I’m not going to wait. I’m going to torture you with this until you stumble in, blind with need.

A few moments pass before Connor clears his throat, and abruptly stands up and dusts the dog hair off his legs.

Connor: Uh, Hank, it’s about time I go. Thanks for the evening.

Hank, engrossed in the game: What? There’s 4 minutes left on the clock how could you leave now?

Markus: Oh god, I loved that time against the doorframe. It was the first time you really let us touch you. Your LED kept flickering from yellow to red because you kept trying to fight the sensations and, Connor, that was the biggest thrill of all for us. Knowing you wanted this but was fighting it because it was strange and new…

Connor: I… oh, I really, really should get going.

Connor: I swear I’m leaving right now you’ve got to stop…

Hank looks up from the and notices the android acting nervous: Are you alright, Connor?

Markus: The way you sound now is how you sounded then. You’re fighting your reactions.

Connor, defensively: Yes, absolutely. I’m just going to call a cab and see myself out. Good night!

Markus: And then when we slid your pants down your hips—

Connor: No, no-no-no. I’m leaving! I literally walked out the door you have to stop talking to me or I won’t even make it home.

Markus: I’ll give you a ten minute break to make it home.

Connor: But the cab ride is at least 15 minutes—Oh.

Markus: By the way, Simon said for me to tell you, that you should take off your shirt and tie but leave the jacket on.

Connor: God, I’m going to die. This is how I die.

Markus: Simon also says that if you’re going to die, death by pillow talk is in the top 10 ways to go.

The cab arrives.

Connor, mumbling aloud: Thank god.