mormons undoubtedly in the top 5 worst things the united states has ever invented which is really saying something
I DONT EVEN WATCH MHA LIKEš¢š¢š¢ HELPPP
I just can't get over the fact that usually Ochako is the one who's beautified,
and Toga is the one showing her raw expressions, i.e. she's presented as a monster, in blood and spider lily but during the main TogaChako fight and its conclusion...
Ochako is the one in her most raw form....all bloody, and bruised, covered in scars, mud and blood...
while Toga is the one in her most beautiful form...
Just so like... it's clear... anyone who censors words that contain "man" or "men" to anything like "xxn" that's TERF shit.
Any reference to women/womanhood that solely revolves around having a uterus or "womb" is TERF shit.
Any sentence where the OP says they support people being "trans identified" with quotes around ""transwomen"" or ""transmen"" is TERF shit.
I'm seeing a lot of you baby Tumblr gays out there not knowing what these specific TERF dogwhistles look like.
"Wombxxn" is an incredibly dumb way of spelling "woman" that treats the word "man" like a slur and also reduces women to their ability to give birth.
"Trans identified" is their way of saying "this person calls themselves trans, but I don't believe they are."
Saying "People should be allowed to identify however they wish, but we still need to protect women/children" IS TERF SHIT.
Learn to identify this garbage, because not all TERFs are going to spell out their intolerance for you. Some of them are going to try and seem reasonable and polite and normal, and it's fucking dangerous to our community.
Also unpack any internalized transphobia and your transmedicalism, because both those things will have you quickly siding with TERFs and bigots.
happy tdov my loves. don't let anyone else define your transness for you.
help trans women evacuate gaza
HOW TO BE A DOG. | S. GOJO
ā¹ general tags ; fem + afab!reader, reader presents femininely and has some specific character traits (i.e. personality traits, nothing physical), reader is shorter / smaller than gojo but nothing specified, reader is a teacher, gojo carries reader at some point (but he is canonly able to do very insane things physically so)
ā¹ content warnings ; dead dove. do not eat, yandere gojo satoru, manipulation, stalking, obsessive behavior, delusional behavior, workplace harassment (not from gojo), victim blaming, canon typical violence, graphic depictions of murder, minor character death, excessive religious imagery, coercion, gaslighting, abuse of power, something akin to stockholm syndrome, graphic depiction of noncon / sexual content, forced intimacy, fingering, hickies / bruises, begging, edging, loss of virginity, size kink, 18+.
all sexual content present in part two.
ā¹ wc ; 17.3k / 36.1k
link to extended authors note | ao3 | how to be a dog, by andrew kane.
LINK TO PART TWO
ā¹ a/n ; well. its here. i wont ramble too much but i hope you enjoy and if you dont...well don't tell me. thank you to ame for your endless patience. likes and reblogs mean the world. the title is inspired by the poem linked.
ā¹ synopsis ; with six eyes to see it becomes clear, you are being watched.
āOf course you must learn to love, to love always and love entirely and to be wounded by nothing so much as the violence of your own love.ā - andrew kane, how to be a dog.
ā¹ PART ONE : A CHILD BORN IN WINTER MUST NOT LONG FOR SPRING.
Thereās a dog living outside of Gojoās apartment. Itās a collarless, lonely thing. Clever, too.Ā
Though, Gojo doesnāt know much about its life before it started hanging around the area, he gets glances on occasion. Itās not emaciated and it doesnāt look hungry, but itās roughened up with matted fur and a healed tear in one ear.Ā
More importantly, it doesnāt bother anybody in the neighborhood. Despite its outward appearance and hostility when approached, its aggression wonāt go farther than a warning bark or growl. Most of the adults living in the building know better than to try, but some of the kids living upstairs desperately attempt to befriend it. Of course they fail, and Gojo thinks that that poor thing is growing apathetic to the touches of sticky hands.Ā
The whole building is pretty fond of it, surprisingly. Gojo lives in a upend complex in a metropolitan part of Tokyo and the people here can be snobbish. So it comes as a shock that this dog wasnāt shooed away months ago.Ā
Everyones sort of agreed to take care of it. Thereās a food and water bowl outside of the security office - and just last week a sign was implemented of Doās and Donāts for what food scraps can be left. Thereās a donation box to get some proper shots and paperwork - since it looks like the building's doorman has agreed to take it in if everyone chips in for the expenses.
(Gojo suspects this has something to do with those very kids, devastated by the thought of it being gone.)
Warm welcomes from the residents aside, Gojo hasnāt seen it act friendly before. He wonders about that.Ā It seems hesitant to trust anyone and heās sure there's a good reason. Itās just that it's clever. To be a stray in this area of Tokyo and be so calm is an impressive feat, so he thinks it probably has some grasp of his own situation. If it acted cuter, it could get a warm house and family too. Though the whole aloof and distant thing does the job just fine, Gojo canāt help but wonder what such a clever creature is doing, turning away from living lavishly.Ā
Much like everyone else, Gojoās contributions have come in the form of food scraps and some donation money to work towards the 5,000 yen goal. On the occasion their paths cross, Gojo sits near it. Sometimes, they share a moment of silence and Gojo talks just to see if itāll ignore him. It seems like itās listening. It always makes a grunt of dismissal when Gojo turns to leave and heās started to count that as a little victory.Ā
Gojo isnāt intrigued by anything as much as that dog. At least not lately. Itās damn near impossible to seriously pique his interest and yet that clever fellow is one of the few things he stops to ponder at.Ā
Today, Gojo is intrigued by the dog that lives on the street of his apartment and the strange woman whoās petting it like some sort of domesticated baby.
Heās very, very intrigued by that.Ā
The rain comes down in heavy sheets. Itās a Wednesday, and he has no classes to teach so heās home and preparing to run errands. Heās going about his day as usual, basically. When Gojo isnāt swamped with a mission or the reformation of Jujutsu Society - he likes to play the part of the average man.Ā
The plan for today was to take his unused car out of the lot so he could get some dry-cleaning done, go buy a new pair of sunglasses because his old ones are scratched, and go do some shopping. He needs to buy groceries again ( an uncommon occurrence) so that one's on the list too.Ā
Heās dressed down. A black windbreaker is hanging over his shoulders, tight gray shirt and some comfortable jeans. Heās got on his errand shoes, a nice pair of sneakers and his keys are hanging from a loop in his belt. His hair is styled down and heās got on his glasses instead of his typical mask.
He has a gameplan, a fully fleshed out expectation of how today will go, and itās derailed by a woman heās never seen before. Heās drawn to you so naturally itās baffling.Ā
Youāre crouched just in front of the security office. Dressed in a loose skirt and long sleeves, looking down by the local neighborhood stray. For the first few seconds, he just lingers on in utter awe. Youāre carrying a comically cute umbrella, clear with flowers and a pink edge. He kind of thinks you look like a peony.Ā
He approaches slowly, quietly.Ā
When he finally gets close enough to really see, he can hardly believe his eyes. That old, menacing mutt is happily getting his chin scratched by you.Ā
āOh, uhm. Hello?āĀ
The sound of your voice startles him out of his trance. Snapping back to reality, he glances down to where you are and realizes heās towering over you. In an effort to be polite, he steps back and gives you his most disarming smile.Ā
āHi. Sorry for the intrusion, I was just,ā He glances at the dog who almost looks offended at the interruption āI noticed you were⦠petting this dog. Guess I was a little surprised.āĀ
āSurprised?āĀ
And your surprise surprises him even more. He blinks slowly.Ā
āYeah. Heās not aggressive or anything but uh,ā Gojo chuckles, concluding you must be a little new āWell, heās not exactly friendly. I donāt think Iāve ever seen anyone succeed in wellā¦petting him.āĀ
Youāre taken aback by this information. Yeah, definitely new.Ā
āReally?ā You glance at Gojo before looking back down at it āI just gave him some treats and waited a bit. Heās such a sweetie. Sure you mean this dog?āĀ
Gojo gets a good laugh out of that. Partially at your cluelessness and partially at your disbelief. He nods, smiling a little.Ā
āIām very sure, actually. He must really like you,ā He says, hands in his pockets. He bends down to join you, but heās still a little bigger than you at that height āI guess I can see why. Youāre pretty friendly.āĀ
You peek over at him. You seem a little shy at the compliment. Gojo feels his interest pique a second time today alone. New record.Ā
āOh, uh. Thank you. I teach kindergarteners so I sort of have to be.āĀ
He hums. Reaching his hand towards the dog, who sniffs and cuddles his palm (something itās never done before) in order to win your favor more. It really is a clever little thing, just like heād always suspected.
āIām a teacher too. A highschool teacher, though. No need for me to be friendly, I guess.āĀ
You laugh at his joke, smile reaching your eyes as you hug your knees to look at him.
āYou seem plenty friendly to me.āĀ
He pretends to think about it.Ā
āMaybe you have a gift for making people come out of their shell,ā He says with sincerity, relishing in the fact heās finally getting to pet the dog in any capacity āI think this little guy could probably attest to that.ā
āAnd you have a knack for flattery.ā You quip.Ā
The natural chemistry is noticeable enough for it to catch Gojo off-guard. He grins.Ā
āHey. Iām not all bad. And what's flattery if Iām being honest right?āĀ
āSounds like something a flirt would say,ā You tease, airy. He laughs a little.Ā
āYou seem like youāre having fun giving me a hard-time.ā He pouts. You giggle.Ā
āA little,āĀ
āJeez. How rude of youā¦ā He waits, prompting your name. You smile.Ā
You give him your name. You say it soft and easy. He makes sure to return to the favor.Ā
āAnd yours?āĀ
āGojo Satoru.āĀ
__
You live up to your first impression in the time that Gojo gets to know you as his neighbor.Ā
Friendly. The word heās looking for is friendly.Ā
Thereās other words though. Sometimes meek, typically cheery, oftentimes quiet. Youāre quite unassuming, and possibly too gentle when compared to everyone else in the general area. You fit in fine, no worries there. And Gojo knows that for certain because he canāt stop himself from watching over you like a hawk.Ā
He doesnāt really understand it himself. Gojo gets along with everyone. Heās always been a people person who likes to talk and likes to get to know strangers. Thereās nothing that special about your connection in that way. You live next to him, directly across the hall.Ā You often knock on his door to give him something that youāve made too much of or ask to borrow some sugarĀ
And itās not done with any romantic intent. Gojo is good at reading people. Heās never seen someone so blatantly Ā romantically uninterested in him. Youāre not even conscious of him as a man, cemented to himĀ by the one time you came to the door dressed in paper-thin PJās. He hasnāt recovered from the shock. One of the many times in his life where he was grateful no one could see where he was looking.Ā
Heās had a few months since your first meeting to get an idea of your personality and what things about you he should keep in mind. You noticed that heās often not in his house, so youāre relatively aware of your surroundings. Youāre often up late because your lights are always on well into the evening.Ā
(He finds out later youāre usually making lesson plans or little gift bags or planning birthdays. You really love your job, something he can commend while simultaneouslyĀ feeling quite jealous about.)Ā
You favor the lovely spring colors like pink and purple because you have so much of it always on you. You dress brightly in general. And you smile, often, and stumble over yourself trying to be nice to the other tenants. The kids in the building adore you. The sheer amount of propositions youāve received to be someone's full-time nanny could probably keep you employed for another two decades.Ā
And you always put your best into everything, no matter what.Ā
This is probably the aspect Gojo is most fascinated by. Itās not exactly a novel trait. Heās encountered something like it before. One of his most prized students is Maki Zenin. Her whole thing is kicking ass through sheer spite.Ā
But unlike his students or anyone else he knows - you donāt seem to be motivated by spite or anger or frustration. Even when you are angry or upset - you always force yourself into being more understanding. Into being nice, kind, and still giving it your best if youāve been shorted somehow. Heās tempted to call you a try-hard. It draws on the line of people pleasing sometimes but it doesnāt matter either way. This is a quality in you Gojo likes all the same.Ā
He's always been drawn to people who are earnest. His company favors such things. He cherishes Yuuji for such a reason, and can say something similar for Nanami. Itās a refreshing perspective. Heās not a bitter person, but heās not an earnest one either. So Gojo likes that youāre so properly, gently sincere.Ā
For the last few months heās made a real effort to talk to you. So heās not just the guy next door, but at least an acquaintance and at best a distant friend. On the mornings you both have classes to teach, he walks you to your car and if he wakes up before you - heāll bring you a cup of coffee or a pastry he knows you enjoy.Ā Ā
Youāll often do Gojo little favors and heāll return them - joking to each other about being a good neighbor. An inside joke with each other that Gojo is growing increasingly fond of, all together with leftover cups of coffee and glances that linger too long. Some mornings, he takes out your trash when youāre feeling too tired and youāll do him the favor of getting the stuff out of his clothes that he doesnāt want to dry-clean.Ā
Itās these little exchanges that make up the bulk of your interactions.Ā
Heās even been to your apartment (another reason heās sure youāre not attracted to him). He went last week to help you cut out little autumn leaves to put on your classroom walls, and you rewarded him with some lemonade.Ā
Heās still thinking about it days later, how you sit on your legs and the way your cardigan hangs off your shoulder. When youāre focused, you leave your mouth open a bit and poke your tongue through your lips. Heās endeared by it.Ā
Ā By you in general.
Itās all boring and mundane, but thatās what makes it. Itās a luxury he rarely affords. Craves, really, which is why heās starting to go straight home more often than not.
Itās nice that youāre always there. That youāre usually home and when youāre not - Gojo doesnāt have to guess too hard about where you are. Itās so constant. He basks in the feeling of constancy like an expensive silk.Ā
Itās little luxuries like that, he thinks, that make you so special to Gojo without much effort on your behalf. Being up at the top means he is always fascinated by the place closest to the ground.Ā
Whatās heaven to a man born there?
__Ā
In your fourth official month of residence, the neighborhood dog finally gets adopted.Ā
Heās not there for the big reveal. He hears it from you while heās on a mission, through a text message and a photo. He acquired your number early on, but youāve only started doing these text exchanges recently. Reason being Gojoās had an unusual amount of cases that need his attention and youāve been very aware of his absence.Ā Ā
(The first time you texted Gojo after 3 days on the other side of the country, he was scarily happy. After all, most times when he leaves - people are expecting his return.Ā Thereās an assurance that he will return alive, that he has to. Itās not often people worry.
It was another thing he learns about himself through you. Being fussed about is refreshing.)Ā
Currently, heās all the way down in Nagasaki. Heās been investigating what the local government has described as an āinfestation in the water,ā leading to poison and all sorts of hallucination. Itās been causing all of the local hospitals to fill up and the news is advising people to distill their water if possible when at home. Make sure to buy bottled, and double check on your children.Ā
In other words, thereās an unidentified curse wreaking havoc in small towns and rural areas at an unusually fast rate and Gojo has been sent to figure out its origin. Whatās really weird is the location. Heās in Nagasaki prefecture, specifically in Hasami - a town in the Higashisonogo district. He really didnāt have much time to do research on the area, save for a few quick google searches and probing questions to his student, the well traveled Yuta Okkutsu who is a hair more familiar with the region than he is.Ā
But there wasnāt much for him to find. Hasami is known for the porcelain it produces. The population is a little under 15,000 and the weather is nicer in spring than it is in summer where it gets too humid. Itās considered a small town, though that number is relative in consideration, and currently the local officials are sending off reports about the water supply.Ā
Even when doing deep research using official means, there was nothing that unusual about the place. No major criminal incidents or occult presence or some other thing that would make this occur naturally. Gojo is no stranger to small town violence or bullying and they can often produce the most volatile curses.
But heās currently on his 3rd day here, where heās taken up talking with the locals and he canāt find any specific attitude that would foster a special grade.Ā
It had led him to a conclusion,Ā but one he was deliberately avoiding. That someone planted the curse here in Nagasaki, or maybe somewhere else. Which really complicates the whole affair, because then this is an investigation and not just a situation of fate. It also means that this curse was likely harvested somewhere and that Gojo canāt be sure itāll be easy to get rid of.Ā
Most importantly, all that fanfare means heāll be home late.Ā
Given how much heās longing to see you, itās the thing heās been dreading most.Ā
Itās weird. Heās never dying to see anyone, with the exception of an old friend long gone. But Gojo has been desperate to see you for the few weeks heās been away from home.Ā
(He canāt tell if itās normal to long this much for a person he truthfully doesnāt know that well.)Ā
But, while heās away from home, the thoughts of you play on loop in his head. Like white noise, static yet constant -Ā there, all the same.Ā As he walks the rainy streets of Hasami, hands in his pockets - he canāt help but wonder when the next time he gets to see you will be
Itās like some sort of miracle (arenāt you always one?) when Gojo hears his phone ring, buzzing against his abdomen.Ā
Heās drawn back into reality when he feels it. In front of a store that sells handmade plates and glasses, he lets it go for a while. Feels it buzz against his pocket while he settles his thoughts. He examines his surroundings,Ā notices the cars, and the mother with her daughter across the street and the gray sky - all before he picks it up. Your name flashes him on screen, and something itches deep in his chest.
The clouds open up. And itās still raining, but thereās a ray of sunlight cutting through them. For a minute Gojo feels worldly, grinning with damp skin before he slides his thumb across the phone.Ā
Youāve never called him before.Ā
āHello?ā He greets, wondering if it was an accident. Then you come through the other side of the line.
āHi ~,ā You say, clearly doing something in the midst of talking āHowāve you been?āĀ
āIāve been alright. Very shocked you called me, yanno?ā
You laugh quietly.Ā
āSorry about that. I just wanted to check in. And I wanted to say thank you.āĀ
āI mean⦠Iāll accept but I feel like I should know what for.ā He jokes. Your tone goes sincere, marshmallow soft and twice as sweet.Ā
āYou paid the rest of the fees for the dog out of pocket, didnāt you?āĀ
He smiles to himself.
āAh. Busted. That was supposed to be a secret between me and Mr. Security-Man,āĀ
āHe didnāt tell me. I justā¦guessed. Seems like something youād do.āĀ
His first instinct is to disagree.
āItās not like I did it out of the goodness of my heart, okay? It was looking a little sad sleeping during the cold seasons. It was very pitiful. So bad, so sad.āĀ
āWhyād you do it?ā You ask, probing but not too deeply āLike⦠really. It was really nice of you, but it was a couple thousand and that canāt be cheap.ā
He relents, head leaning back on the wall behind him.Ā
āThe kids, remember?ā He murmurs, eyes staring up at the gray clouds āYou said theyād be sad if the dog didnāt get adopted soon.āĀ
āThe way youāre talking about it makes it seem like youāre doing this for me.āĀ
āAnd if I was? Would that bother you, hm?āĀ
You wait a minute, hesitating with your words.Ā
āWellā¦no. I guess not, I justāthank you. I guess Iām just a little⦠embarrassed about it or whatever.āĀ
āShy, huh? Cute.ā
āJeez,ā You huff. Gojo can practically hear your grinning from the other side; it makes his heart flutter. He wants to go home, to wherever you are āAnd you always say youāre no flirt.āĀ
āIām not a flirt. Iām just telling it how it is.āĀ
āYeah? Well, thanks anyway then. It made them really happy. You shouldāve been there to see it. Maybe you can tell them when you get back?āĀ
āDonāt wanna.ā He states outright.Ā
āYou didnāt even think about it!ā You exclaim.
āMm, because I donāt have to. I definitely donāt want them to know.āĀ
āWhy not, though? Youād be their hero, yāknow?Ā
Maybe itās something in the air. The damp weather out closer to the ocean, or the distance between you. Thereās a tiny echo in your words, mechanical through the speakers. The word hero leaves a melancholy in his mouth, floating in the back of his throat like liquor refusing to go down. He chuckles.Ā
āOoo, are you into that kinda thing? Like, super charming knights in shining armor? Or superheroes, maybe?āĀ
You giggle on the other side of the line. If you notice him avoiding answering you, you have the courtesy not to say anything.
āIsnāt everyone? I donāt know. I think if a really good-looking guy saved my life, itād probably make my heart race a little, yeah. Iād catch feelings over that for sure.āĀ
He takes a deep breath. Everything smells like rain.Ā
āIs that so?ā He says, chest blooming with warmth āIāll keep that in mind.āĀ
__
Gojo returns from his mission empty-handed.Ā
He was out there for a long time, at least longer than usual when heās traveling for a mission. Heās not used to hitting so many dead ends. The problem kept growing, but every trail heād uncovered went cold in about a day. Just before he gave up hope, he was called in by Yagi. Since the issue has spread into other parts of the city, itās no longer his solo jurisdiction.Ā
More hands on meant more time for Gojo to be teaching. It also meant that he would finally see you after so long. You waited for him outside the day he returned to Tokyo - wearing a cream colored sweater and the prettiest smile Gojo had ever laid eyes on.Ā
Gojo returns from his mission empty-handed but itās not entirely pointless. Upon returning - he had a somewhat shallow epiphany about the way you make him feel. About the way heās affected by you, which is arguably more valuable than some lead.
Being away from you for so long is something that makes him so irritable. Heās had some time between then and now to come into terms with it.Ā
Falling back into his routine, it was obvious. Suddenly there was a gap heād never noticed before that blew wide enough for him to fall through. He actively avoids not seeing you if he can, and ever since your permissive conversation a few weeks ago - itās harder to notice the way his desires fester.Ā
Thereās not much he wants out of his life. So when anything noteworthy pops up, Gojo is always eager to get a hold of it before itās too late.Ā
He usually soothes that by reminding himself of your position as a civilian, a kindergarten teacher at that. The responsible thing to do is make sure youāre safe. To play the hero from the sidelines and ensure you donāt encounter anything from his line of work. Thatās his whole life's work. To create a life like that, and it helps to stay on that path when he believes youāre sheltered from that reality.Ā
Thatās why, when you tell Gojo you can see curses, he feels the entire floor collapse from underneath his feet.Ā
He receives such devastating news over a cup of coffee at that.
Itās closing in to Fall slowly and Gojo has decided to take you out to eat as an apology for his disappearance. He intended to give you another half-truth about his job so you wouldnāt lose any sleep over him.Ā
When it happens, itās less that you tell him, and more that you keep glancing. Just over his shoulder, with this terrified expression that Gojo couldnāt not notice, even if he tried.Ā
Youāve got your hands around a warm drink, in a white, ceramic mug but your gaze keeps diverting to the place behind him. When he looks over to that same place, a curse is there. Small. More insignificant than a bug, but there.Ā
Itās risky to mention it. Because if Gojo is wrong, itās not something he can brush off. Heād have to come up with something to excuse himself, and he isnāt sure how to lie out of that (even with his natural disposition of being a trickster.) But when you keep looking, his instinct kicks in. Thereās no way you arenāt seeing it.Ā
He doesnāt ask you directly. Thatād be too incriminating, so he lowers his tone. Watches you briefly as you tremble in fear.Ā
(A small, smallĀ part of him is only asking because he doesnāt like how distracted you are from him. Killing the curse seems like itād relieve that annoyance too.)
āCan you see itā¦?āĀ
The question makes you jump out of your skin. You reel back, eyes widened before the realization really sets in.Ā
ā....It?āĀ
Gojo looks around the cafe for a minute, to make sure no one is listening before he turns around and points to the cursed spirit behind him.Ā
āIt,ā He says, thumb pointed at the deformed curse moaning in one of the booths.Ā
When it dawns on you that Gojo sees what you see, you cup a hand over your mouth in shock. He canāt describe the way getting that confirmation feels. It raises so many questions about who you are. More than he had before, at least.Ā
No longer are you the innocent, clueless civilian and that changes every interaction heās had with you since the start. Though itās not uncommon for people who can see curses to fall through the cracks, he can feel his own curiosity dig into his skin like seeds taking root. He doesnāt think he should be excited, but he is.Ā
Heās excited watching your fearful tremble. Heās never seen you like that.
āYes,ā You say, voice a little shaky this time āI can see⦠it.āĀ
He takes the spoon out of his latte and cleans it with his mouth. Studying your expression momentarily, he takes a deep breath before standing to his feet. The terror is so subtle, the kind he can only catch because heās so familiar.. He knows those emotions better than he knows most.Ā
Curses arenāt phobias. Not illusions or ghosts, but tangible madness. Impactful to those who can see it, but nothing to those who canāt. Fear like that, which canāt be shared with anyone, has a specific look when it shows up in someone. Gojo hasnāt felt that fear since he was very, very little. He watches curses with the same bland expression he might watch a horror movie, but he can understand your reaction at least.Ā He knows it like the back of his hand. All the people heās saved, who could see them too, always wore the same one.Ā
Still, heās caught off guard. He feels bad that youāre scared. But the proximity between you and him which was once oceans wide has decreased significantly in no time at all. That feels good. Even better than he wouldāve imagined.Ā
āAre you scared?ā He questions intently, maintaining a sense of neutrality.
You swallow a lump in your throat, eyes glued to the table in front of you.
āYes,āĀ
Your voice is a hoarse whisper. The corners of his lips twitch upward.Ā
When heās sure no one is looking, he stands up and walks over to the table behind him. Pretending to look for something so he doesnāt look out of place. It doesnāt take more than a second to destroy it. Itās tiny, something heād never think of fighting since itās so harmless. The curse equivalent to a fly.Ā
He gives it a violent death and sees you look on with horror in your expression. He finds himself pleased with that, wiping his hands on his pants before returning. Maybe you recognize his strength when he sits back down. Still, instead of pulling away again, you fold your hands in your lap.Ā
āT-Thank you,ā
He grins at you.Ā
āOf course,ā He saysĀ āCan I ask you something?āĀ
You nod your head and sip your tea.Ā
āDo you know who I am?āĀ
You look confused.
ā...Are you a celebrity?āĀ
He laughs hard at that. Hearing that makes him not want to tell you.Ā
āIām Gojo Satoru,ā He reintroduces. You nod slowly āIām a sorcerer.āĀ
Another lie of omission. The strongest, he should say. He takes a sip of his latte, frowning at the bitterness. Through his mask, he watches as you fiddle with your hands. He stacks the empty creamer cups together before opening two more sugar packets and stirring them.Ā
āA sorcererā¦ā You look perplexed. Confusion settles into the lines of your face. Sheltered, Gojo concludes. Only parents, who shelter you wouldnāt tell you what a sorcerer was despite your ability to see them āWhat does that⦠mean exactly?āĀ
āIt means I kill curses for a livingā He replies simply.Ā
āI thought you were a high school teacher.āĀ
He smiles.Ā
āSmart cookie. I am, but the school I teach at specializes in cursed technique and sorcery.ā
āOh.āĀ
You look befuddled.Ā
Gojo thinks he might be an opportunist.Ā
āDo you really not know anything about them? Itās rare for people to be able to see them and not know anything about them.ā
You shake your head, eyes peering into your drink. He watches how the image reflects in your eyes.
āUhm. Not really. My parents told me to do my best to stay away from it. We lived in the countryside but I had to move out into the city for work so I kept⦠running into them. I canāt like⦠kill them. And I don't always see them.āĀ
āYou canāt use cursed techniques?āĀ
āI guess thatās what that is. I donāt think I can, no.āĀ
Vulnerable.Ā
āHmm. What circumstances,ā He says, purposeful in weaving concern in his words.Ā
āIs it that badā¦?āĀ
Not really. His job and the job of his peers is to make sure civilians make as little contact with curses as possible. There are more people like you, and because curses feed off of negative emotions - many dangers can be shafted by just not reacting. Even so, itās customary for people to have some semblance of protection. A weapon if nothing else, for anyone who can see them.
āDo you carry anything with you?āĀ
āLike a weapon? I have mace for when I take the train late at night.āĀ
āNot that kind of weapon,ā He says gracefully. He can tell youāre out of your element, and some small and twisted part of him would like to keep you in the fateful dark.
āWhat other kind would there be?āĀ
āThereās a lot you donāt know,ā He half answers. Your frown deepens. He puts his palm over the top of his coffee cup but doesnāt feel any warmth āAw, donāt be like that. Iām just teasing. Youāre always so calm and collected, I was surprised to see how scared you got, you know?āĀ
āEverybody gets scared sometimes.āĀ
āMm,ā
His non-committal response leaves you nervous again. Fidgeting with the edge of your cup or the loose threads in the sleeves of your clothes. What a bundle of nerves you are. Gojo puts all the comfort he can in his voice, dredging up some sense of sincerity.
āWell, since it scares you and Iām such a nice guy, Iāll protect you if you get into any trouble.ā He says, snapping his fingers and pointing at you.
That makes you relax. Makes your shoulders droop, a smile gracing your pretty face. Gojo can feel the floor underneath him sinking as you tease him. His eyes trace the curve of your neck. Heās glad you canāt see him or where they look.Ā
āOh, what? Are you gonna come running every time I need help?āĀ
He smiles.Ā
āIāll be your personal Superman.ā He promises, making a silly expression trying to make you laugh. It feels good when he succeeds, the weight of his words softened by it. If you feel how heavy the comment is, it doesnāt show up on your face.Ā
You snort, taking a sip of your drink and thereās something so kind in your expression that Gojo aches over.Ā
āThat right?ā You hum, smiling over the edge of your ceramic mug āYouāre my hero.ā
__Ā
Since then, Gojoās kept quite busy.
The last time he saw you at all was at the diner a few weeks prior and little has been different since then. You send more nervous messages than before, but aside from that things are the same.
Heās done a good job, he thinks. Partly of ensuring you, partly of instilling healthy fear. Your eyes always widen like youāre caught off guard by his comments - sometimes washed away with a laugh but other times genuine. Gojo likes to keep you on your toes. AĀ bit of harmless fun and endlessly amusing.Ā
Gojo would be there to protect you just like he promised before, so even scaring you isnāt something he thinks of as bad. Itās not untrue that you should be a little more vigilant, but just telling you to do so is no easy feat.Ā
He would like to be spending time with you today just the same as he has before, but heās home alone instead. Thereās been a brief reprieve between cases so heās on his own to unwind. Thereās nothing he wants to do, so he decides on a movie.Ā
Gojo is the only one of his friends who still has cable TV. According to Shoko itās a luxury purchase but for him itās one less choice he has to make when coming home to relax.
Itās an American film on now, some psycho-killer classic that heās already seen a handful of times with Japanese subtitles.Ā
None of the lights are turned on, so the TV illuminates the room in flashes of color. He grabs a soda from his steel-gray fridge and cracks it open, listening to the soft fizz that comes to a slow halt. Pulling it to his mouth, he travels slowly back to his couch. The leather squeaks under the weight of his body. The weight of his back creates a divet that he can be comfortable in. He rests his head, glancing back again at the screen.Ā
A scream rips through the house, agitating his every nerve. He picks up his remote and turns it down just a tad before watching the movie with a sort of disinterest. Horror movies arenāt his favorite, admittedly. He pretends he scares easily, but the opposite is true. Gojo has seen too much for it to be entertaining, no less scary.Ā
He likes movies based on their creative merit. Heāll watch one on its creative merit.Ā
But to be scared? For frights? Not really. Very little gets his heart pumping hard like that. Sometimes the storytelling is good. Other times thereās something cathartic about the formulaic death. The final girl, the call from inside the house. The dependable and clean ending of tropes. Even if itās messy or sinister, itās fantastical. Fictitious and detached.Ā
Gojo enjoys that. For anyone else, itās probably a twisted way to think about it but to Gojo it only feels natural. He doesnāt examine that detachment very deeply. Heās just aware of it, lingering in the back of his head.Ā
He takes a long sip of his drink. The sickly sweet taste slowly coats his mouth. Fizzy and smooth, it goes down easily. He sits up in his seat, making himself comfortable as he tries to pay attention to the movie. The main girl is hiding in the bathroom, and the killers' steps are echoing through the house. The broken, somber string instruments in the background, fill the white noise with apprehension and terror.Ā
Gojo doesnāt feel a chill down his spine. His eyes are still fixed on the screen though, with slight anticipation of what's next even though he already knows. Itās nearing the end and heās seen this movie before. Sheās not going to make it, and Gojo knows that.Ā
He watches intently in spite of that. The door bursts open and thereās a knife in her chest - and screams. Itās horrific and ugly, blood-spattered and graphic.Ā
He doesnāt flinch until the whole way through.
Itās brief, but the thought passes his mind. Lately, the only thing that Gojo seems to react to is you.
But he doesnāt think about it too deeply. Thereās no need to.Ā
The TV goes to commercial and Gojo realizes heās finished his soda. He stands back up, onto his feet to toss the can and grab another. This time, he grabs some snacks too. Piles them onto a plate, dried meats, and something mildly sweet for after before he returns to his living room. Sitting back down on his couch, he scrolls through his phone for anything interesting but comes up short of any results.Ā
He sits up a little straighter as the next movie plays.Ā
__
Spending time around curses is a necessary part of the learning experience.
Things you canāt learn in all the lessons and tutoring in the entire world. Even though Jujutsu Tech exists, and even given Gojoās lineage - when he started working officially, he didnāt know everything. You canāt. No matter to what extent you study, thereās some things that you can only gauge through experience. Going through something over and over, like muscle memory.
Gojo spent a lot of his life wanting it to make sense. Wanting curses and the way they showed up to make sense. This is a lesson in truth, divine truth you can only take up in experience. Curses are human emotions, which means that they are finicky and everywhere. And the dangers of them will always look like the aftermath of destruction.Ā
Sometimes, thereās nothing you can do to prepare for why things happen. Itās why Gojo is always grasping for light where he can find it.Ā
Gojo Satoru stands in an empty parking lot all the way in Osaka. He examines the sight in front of him and canāt find anything heās learned to prepare for what's next.Ā
Fog has rolled in thick clouds over every inch, limiting his vision. The air tastes of smoke, and the earth underneath him is damp. The wet concrete squeaks under the weight of his shoes as he takes in the surroundings. The parking lot of an animal hospital, in particular - where all the staff were reported to have fallen unconscious. After being rolled out by the proper authorities and after all the animals were moved into a different location - Gojo was left to examine the remnants of the incident.Ā
The reports are similar all across the country. Not the location. but the symptoms. People falling sick and ill. The initial reports of a water-borne illness didnāt progress far past the first city. Itās evolved since then. People get sick, pass out and hallucinate and animals lose all control.Ā
The aftermath isnāt very messy so luckily it doesnāt attract too much attention. Thereās no bodies, or blood - nothingĀ heinous thereafter. The effects appear later in the people affected, taken over by an unnamed madness that appears to turn their internal experience to ruins. Gojo wouldāve preferred the first situation. Violence like that becomes easy to digest with enough exposure.Ā
These kinds of symptoms are always hard to stomach. Civilians get answers that placate them. The truth is that there's something bigger out there at play and they were just so unlucky to bear witness to the terror. With altered memories and the badge of trauma, what they donāt know canāt hurt them.Ā
Gojo knows though, and sometimes he envies their ignorance.
He makes his way into the building. A set of glass doors greets him when he turns the sidewalk, with a blinking sign. Osaka Animal Hospital is written at the top in neon, accompanied by the words 24hr service. Gojo only glances at it briefly before sighing, hands on the bar to push himself through the heavy glass doors. He has to lean some of his weight to get through, and thereās just another set beyond those where he has to do the same.Ā
Then, heās inside.Ā
The presence of the curse and of cursed energy ignites familiar caution within him. Itās here, in some capacity - or it was recently. The perpetrator is here too. Why that is, Gojo canāt quite understand. It seems a little backwards to linger here after everyones been evacuated and thereās no doubt someone would come to investigate.Ā
All Gojo can think is that maybe they werenāt expecting him. But by now, they must know heās there too. Gojoās presence is intentionally oppressive - by nature it must be. Now itās a waiting game, a quiet one at that.Ā
Hospitals are always echoey and this one is no different. The squeak of his boots bounces off the walls as he takes steps towards the receptionist desk just to see if heāll find anything.Ā
He leans over it, to stare at the left over records - untouched by the authorities. Everything looks like it was left in a hurry. Strew pens and a corded phone just barely back in place - with computers on a blue idle screen. All the daily documents are still out sitting on the desk with no organization to indicate theyāve been filtered through. No paper clips or post-its telling the next person working about what to do.Ā
Instead of walking behind the counter, he climbs over it with relative ease. Once heās behind it, he takes better note of his surroundings. He doesnāt find anything completely relevant. Thereās painting of animals, and some certifications for bills of health as well - but nothing that warrants his attention. He redirects through the papers in front of him, coming across a stack unexamined. Those answer sheets they give you to fill out so they can assess the situation before meeting you.Ā
Theyāre split into two piles it looks like, though that could just be some coincidence. Still, he flips through them. Directing his attention to the little comment box with the prompt what are you being seen for?Ā
Itās nothing serious. Normal things an animal owner would be upset or worried about like bowel movements and eating something that shouldnāt have been consumed. A minor injury or a worrisome behavior - but nothing that sticks out. For pages and pages, Gojo flips through the little packets trying to find anything.Ā
Itās not what he sees, but what he doesnāt. A blank packet of papers, with no name for the owner or the pet. Only a description in the prompt box, neat handwriting in a single line.Ā
āShowing signs of anxiety.āĀ
Gojo smiles to himself. Interesting.Ā
He jumps back over onto the other side once heās seen it. Itās strange. Why would they go to the lengths of premeditating it like that? Whether itās the curse itself or some third party, itās an unreasonable thing to do.Ā
āNot like people like this are usually reasonable, but,āĀ
He saves the rest of the thought, sighing. The room has two hallways to go down. Both directions have some lingering cursed energy,Ā but the hallway leading to the overnight area is much stronger. Itās separated by a big metal door, so Gojo braces himself to go through it.
He walks towards it slowly and through the doors even slower. Itās a long, empty hall. The ceilings are low, white fluorescent lights over his head like a falsified halo. They flicker on and off, with the ones at the very end of the hall having fizzled out completely. Gojo can hear, feel, and see everything. He can hear his own breathing and the artificial cracklingĀ of electricity. Feel the lingering presence of sickness, the sediments of a curse preparing itself to emerge like a butterfly from a cocoon.Ā
He peeks into the different rooms of the hallway. One half of the hall is kennels, once again empty and left in the same messy state as the front desk. The other half of the rooms look like surgery rooms, with a storage closet tucked into one corner. The hall comes to an abrupt stop at the end, a painted gray wall with nothing to offer at the end.
But when Gojo is half-way through, he hears it. A heart-beat. A human one, slow and steady like itās not worried at all. Not moving or running, just there. Thump, thump, thump.Ā
Gojo perks his head up as he walks, leaning over to get a look at every room. Empty, empty, empty.Ā
Then, in the very last one is a shadowy figure. The sound of the heartbeat is louder and the feeling of cursed energy is so strong itās nauseating. Gojo pauses when he peers in, waits for there to be any response to his presence. Thereās no way whoevers lurking doesnāt know heās there, but thereās nothing that makes him react. He frowns.Ā
His hand reaches for the handle of the door with a sigh, the mechanism inside clicking to let Gojo know itās open. He takes a deep breath before opening it, stepping inside and shutting it behind him.Ā
Even with the room as dark as it, the person inside is clear to his vision. A young girl. Probably no older than 17 withā¦Ā
He furrows his brow. With a dog, from what it looks like. No ordinary dog, obviously. A curse in the form of a dog, with teeth too sharp for its mouth and fur that looks like a smear of charcoal and nothing like hair at all. Itās on a long leash, the chain wrapped around the young woman's palms.Ā
The dog seems to tense up at the sight of Gojo. The eyes are empty and white - almost transparent. Itās a snarling thing, muzzle over the mouth and clearly on edge. Gojo looks at its owner, the perpetrator in this instance. Who looks calm, black mask tucked over face and long dark hair with bangs cut sharp.
Gojo doesnāt know what to say here. He wasnāt expecting to make contact this easily with a curse and its master. Itās been months now, the authorities chasing after this special grade from city to city. Sheās obviously strong, and so is that curse thatās strained against its collar like itās ready to rip him in half if he moves. Not stronger than him, because no such thing ever happens - but strong enough for him to be cautious.Ā
He doesnāt step forward. He stops by the door and tilts his head. Heās sure she canāt see his eyes, but they make eye contact all the same. None of it makes any sense, but making sense of it isnāt Gojoās job.Ā
Instead of introducing himself, he opens the conversation with a question.Ā
āWhyāre you still here?āĀ
āI knew I was going to get caught soon.āĀ
An answer he couldnāt predict even if he tried. Gojo huffs.Ā
āThere was some time between the authorities coming and this investigation. You could have left before then, no?āĀ
āDoesnāt matter. Something wouldāve stopped me.āĀ
āWhat a weird kid. What led you to that?āĀ
Thereās a minute where the dog (?) starts barking,Ā but the noise is nothing like a bark. Itās cosmic and strained, and sounds more like a distorted radio than an animal noise. Itās in the shape of an animal but it isnāt one, like it couldnāt complete itself to be one. Gojo winces at the sound, intensified in the closed walls of the room. Itās piercing, and a little annoying.Ā
When she soothes it, it calms down quickly. Itās obedient.Ā
āUh. A vision. Closer to a premonition. Fate.ā
āFate said you were going to get caught today. Right.āĀ
āArenāt you a shaman? Shouldnāt be that hard to believe.āĀ
āPoint taken. How did you know I was a shaman and not some murderer?āĀ
She gives Gojo a pointed look.Ā
āLook at you. Plus, I can feel that youāre a shaman.āĀ
āAnother premonition?ā He asks, this time sincerely. She shakes her head.Ā
āNo. Your aura.āĀ
Gojo stares ahead.Ā
ā...Right, yeah. It doesnāt look like youāre planning on attacking me.āĀ
āI donāt think Iād win. Iāve never met anyone stronger than me.āĀ
āIām the strongest there is, so I guess not. How did you wanna go about this, then? Famous last words?āĀ
āYou go first. Iād rather talk to you than the other officials.āĀ
āHm. Donāt know if I have any questions, kiddo. My job is catching you, not interrogation. I guess I am a little interested in why.āĀ
This makes her deflate a little. Itās hardly noticeable, but Gojo sees it anyway. The dog seems to react, snarling at her discomfort. Heās starting to understand the connection between them.
She thinks for a minute longer before sighing.Ā
āWell. I guess I should start about why, right? Itās an old story. I came from a small village. I used to walk miles to school everyday and Iād get bullied a lot since my granny was a shaman. It was just us growing up. A nice old house with not a lot of modern anything,ā
Gojo crosses his arms, leaning back on the wall and nodding his head. He figures sheāll tell him top to bottom, so he doesnāt give any input.Ā
āMy granny died a few years ago. I didnāt have any family so I moved on my own. Even back then, the only other thing I cared about were animals. I started working at a shelter and then I met Senbei.āĀ
The more she talks, the worse he feels. Gojo already knows how this story will end, but he doesnāt interrupt her as she pauses between her sentences. Being 17 and bearing the burdens of loss is something he regards as a nightmare.Ā
āSenbei was my best friend. Most loyal dog ever. And you know, I started my job with high hopes and kept him by my side. I wasnāt always angry. Working in that shelter and watching animals come in trembling every time I fed āem made me angry. How cruel and sick people could be.āĀ
Her explanations are jumbled and clumsy. She sounds angry but itās not that simple, curling in on herself the more she talks. Noticeably, she doesnāt try to justify it. She says it easily, with acceptance that it happened.Ā He thinks that acceptance is harder to bear than delusion. Gojo canāt help but commend her silently.Ā
āIām sorry you went through that.āĀ Gojo replies.Ā
Heās being sincere.Ā
āShould you be sympathizing with me?āĀ
āDoesnāt matter. I just do.ā
Her expression softens. She looks sad, and itās not like Gojo doesnāt understand.Ā She keeps going though, hands shaking in her lap. Gojo thinks she mightāve been waiting to tell someone.Ā
āI donāt know when I stopped seeing the good in peopleā¦.I always thought aboutāabout my granny and how no oneāno one came to see her. She was always taking care of everyone and no-oneāā
āI know, kid,ā Gojo says with a sigh āI get it.āĀ
āThen you know,ā She pauses, taking a deep breath. Thereās frustrated tears pouring down her cheek this time. What a strange, sad thing she is:Ā āThat you canāt go back. Even if you forget. It justāit changes you.āĀ
Yeah. Gojo knows something about that, too.Ā
āI was already pretty desperate when Senbei was alive. Just trying to hold on. When he was killed, I lost it. I just fuckingā I lost it. Iām sure you understand. You get it right?ā
Gojo looks at her confused. She shakes her head, looking down in her lap at the curse in her hands.
āI can tell you're like me.Ā That's why your aura is so tainted and⦠fucked up andĀ malicious. It should be crystalline blue kinda like spring waterābut itās muddy. Rigid.āĀ
āWhat are you talking about?ā
āThe fact youāre hanging on by a thread. You can feel it too, right?āĀ
Gojo remains quiet at her observation. He doesnāt know how to react.Ā
āWhen you want something so bad, it justā does something to you. Either because it wonāt happen or because it needs to take your life to exist. Happened to granny, to me. Itāll happen to you, too.ā
āI doubt that,ā Gojo says, your face flashing in his mind. He shakes his thoughts away.Ā
āYouāre thinking about it too literally. You want something, so you chase it and lose yourself in the process. Youāre dead. No longer you, all tangled and in ruins. Itās not too late, but if you keep goingāthat thread is gonna snap.āĀ
āA premonition?ā He says, partially sarcastic. She shakes her head.Ā
āNo, a prediction. You donāt have to consider it if you donāt want to. I just thought Iād tell you since you gave me some last minutes with this Senbei.āĀ
Gojo shakes his head.Ā
āI donāt have any reason to be forceful if you comply. Take your time. I donāt have anything better to do.āĀ
Gojo glances at her as she pets it, having resigned herself to silently gazing upon it. He canāt stop himself from thinking about everything sheās said, so he averts his gaze to the ceiling and pretends otherwise.
The silent stretches, a pregnant pause before she speaks one more time. She has a look on her face Gojo canāt read.
āYou know, itās funny. Everyone thinks dogs are loyal to their masters, but thatās because we made them that way. We canāt stand being alone or unloved so we made something that can do both without ever seeing any less of us.āĀ
āYouāve had a lot of time to think about it.āĀ Gojo says, unsure of how to reply. She isnāt expecting anything, but remaining silent fills him with a sense of dread.Ā
āGuess so. You should take some time to think about it too,ā
She says to him, petting the curse that whines like itās been hit in her small hands. Gojo takes a deep breath.Ā
āā¦Yeah. Iāll do that.āĀ
__
The case ends anti-climatically.Ā
Gojo finds it funny. The officials came and the young girl was promptly arrested. He never even got a chance to ask her name. He learned through some probing that she only made two asks before being taken.Ā
The first, to keep her curse dog with her, and to send her thanks to the sorcerer who had apprehended her in the first place.
On the news, much later in the week - a news report surfaces. āDanger in the Deep,ā giving reasonable and logical explanations for the events that occurred in cities across Japan not even a few weeks ago. New studies show, experts say, hereās a word from your localāa barrage of fancy language to pad the publishing, add depth and realism. The public is none the wiser.Ā
Gojo has to admire the commitment to keeping the peace. The case ends, and the girl gets arrested and put on trial. He doesnāt know if heāll be seeing her again any time soon, though heās sure he has the power to intervene.Ā
Heās hesitating to do so. Why stick his neck out for her in a situation like this one? Over other situations, more dire ones at that. Sheād make a good ally.
Their last conversation hasnāt left the back of Gojoās mind. Heās conscious of it, albeit it hasnāt slowed him down. Heās not looking for another assessment of who or what ghosts are haunting him. Heād prefer to put it all behind him now
So life, in some capacity, has returned to its baseline. Itās normal. He has cases but they donāt take him more than three days. Heās able to do his usual chores without anything impeding them. Heās been teaching, no longer forced to make his students fend for themselves.Ā
Heās been seeing you again regularly, too.Ā
Heās getting ready now to do just that. Scheduled to get another coffee together (something of a tradition now) and pick up some conversations. Youāve been busy, though Gojo doesnāt know the details of what.
He wants to know. Heās even tried asking but as soon as he gets close to the subject, you slink into yourself like youāre trying to disappear. Besides, he doesnāt want to intimidate you into telling him.Ā
(Though, it would be so easy to do. Youāve got a record for being a scaredy cat, and as much as it endears him - he is entirely too hung up on the potential for exploitation to admire it kindly. Itād be easy to turn the notches up, pressure you. With how easy going you are, youād let him do it. Gojo bets youād cave. He thinks the face youād make would be entertaining too.Ā
Above all, the offer is tempting.)Ā
In spite of your refusal to discuss the specifics, Gojo does want to cheer you up in whatever capacity he can. So, heās taking you out for a while and hoping a comfortable environment and the presence of other people will soothe your nerves a little.Ā
Heās getting dressed for it now, rifling through his closet for decent casual attire.Ā
Heās got his hair styled down, a pair of new sunglasses on the table and his clothes folded on his bed before he tries them on. Most of his closet is uniforms, plain black and boring. For now, heās settled on a black crew neck and blue jeans - ripped at the knees.Ā
He looks over his appearance in the mirror, posing in it. Arms flexed and stretched over his head before putting them out in front of his body.Ā
He takes his time to take part in the ritual. He slips his boxers up over his legs, waist band tight around his torso and clinging to the curves of his thighs. He pulls his jeans up, low at his hips with a belt buckled through the front. Then comes his sweater over his abdomen.Ā
He wants to look nice. Though, he could be deluding himself - lately you seem a little more aware of his appearance. It makes him happy that his good looks havenāt failed him in the instance they matter most.Ā
As he puts on his accessories (in this case a watch and a ring) his phone buzzes atop his dresser. He stops to pick it up, a message from you on the screen. He peers over so his face can be read, then smiles.Ā
(sent 11:15am) Ready ~Ā
He laughs to himself.Ā
(sent 11:16am) Almost ready. Need to look my best for such a tremendous occasion.Ā
(sent 11:16am) For coffee?Ā
(sent 11;17) For coffee with my favorite kindergarten teacher ofc ā”
You send back a simple reply telling him to hurry and come out. Gojo chooses to interpret your embarrassment as a sign. It puts some pep in his step, and he hurries to finish dressing up.Ā
He steps out of his house, locking his door from the outside before shuffling down a single flight of stairs and out into the front entrance of his complex. He notices you waiting at the front gate from where heās standing.Ā
The neighborhood dog (officially named Pokupan) is asleep by the security office. Youāre the same as always. Today's outfit is a dress with long sleeves and colored tights. It suits you. A splash of warmth in an otherwise dreary world, Gojo stands in place as he watches you for an unidentified amount of time. Minutes feel like seconds as you pace back and forth. Your phone must be in your purse because he canāt find it anywhere on you.Ā
Heās delighted when you finally turn your head to look at him. You cup your hand and give him a kind wave which he laughs at and returns enthusiastically. His stride is long, walking towards the gate.Ā
You have to tilt your neck up to look at him (making his chest squeeze unhelpfully) but you smile when you do so.Ā
āHey,āĀ
āHello there Miss. Waiting for a special someone?ā He jokes. You flush.Ā
āTheyāre an important friend,āĀ
He tries not to let his smile falter. Friend.Ā
āThen, is it a bother if I ask to take you out?āĀ
This time you falter. Gojo notices it out of the corner of his eye, the briefest brush of nerves that makes it seem like youāre warming up to him after all. Itās gone as quickly as it came but itās there and Gojo etches it into the back of his eyelids for memory. He smiles at you as you look away, flush
āNot at all,āĀ
He grins, again, even brighter. Then he sticks his arm out for you to loop in. You hesitate again. This time Gojo canāt be sure why.
āIām just being a gentleman, you know?ā He pouts. His frown takes effect as you loop your arms together. He keeps it friendly. Too much pushing and youāll skitter away right before his eyes. Still, even this much progress feels good. It feels whole and light and good.Ā
Itās a pleasant sort of day.Ā
Not that itās warm, or even sunny. Itās cold, on the edge of Autumn that dances into Winter. Freezing but bright out, the kind of sky where everything is clear. During the day the sky has no clouds and no stars when it comes to night time.Ā
Nonetheless itās nice. The cold is the kind that makes you want to cozy into someone for warmth, so Gojo doesnāt mind walking in. The walk itself isnāt very long either. The cafe is near your complex, just about 15 minutes worth of walking. Thereās no snow or ice to trip on, and because itās freezing - you shiver every time you stray too far from the heat of his body so the walking is done exceptionally close together
There are kids and parents walking together on the street alongside you, dogs and their owners, street vendors with hot tea. Itās that kind of day where the cold doesnāt keep anyone indoors, in fact everyone seems to relish in the fact they can run and run and run without overheating. It feels like everything is in sync with each other, comfortable and harmonious in spite of everything else.
After 15 minutes, youāve arrived at the store front. Not long enough for Gojo, but thatās okay. Thereās next time he has to look forward too.Ā
(He tells himself this every time. Itās never enough for him. He can never get enough of listening to you talk. He could probably mimic your cadence without having to try. Itās a sound he doesnāt get sick ofāa miracle, another one, because Gojo hates so many soundsāyet thereās one he always looks out for.Ā
There has to be a next time. If he forgets to tell himself as much, he gets so restless he can hardly stand.
The cafe is nice. Itās one of those places that you see on Instagram often with plenty of sweets for Gojoās taste and plenty of fancy teas for yours. The outside has beige-colored brick and a brown sign decorated with cutesy drawings. You spend a good amount of time crouched beside it, taking a picture or two to later post on your story.Ā
āYou have to tag me, okay? Itās your payment for wasting our precious time together,ā He jokes.Ā
You stand to your feet and brush off your pants, the material of your coat rustling as you do.Ā
āYes, yes ā I promise. Iāll have to ask who drew them when we get in there.āĀ
Gojo smiles at your enthusiasm before opening the door for you.Ā Another one of those glass ones with a logo printed on the top half and the metal tinted brown. A little bell chimes above your head as you head in first, and Gojo heads in after you. He has to duck not to his his head on the top of it.
Itās not too crowded at this hour. A handful of people sit among the many tables and booths. Your head is turned to the menu and Gojo trails behind you like a shadow. One to compliment all your light.Ā
It smells delightful inside. Like warm cookies and vanilla and tea. Gojo feels his sweet tooth kick in the minute you two stand in line. The barista is a doe-eyed blonde college student. Thereās another employee with long dark hair and thin, narrow eyes. It reminds Gojo a lot of that girl he met a few weeks ago but he tries to put that thought out of his mind.
He sticks his hands in his pockets and eyes the menu. The special item is a yuzu cream cake, the picture of it hanging on the wall like employee of the month. Thereās a glass display of all the other items and the menu matches the rest of the decor.
āThis was a good choice,ā Gojo says, entranced by all the desserts around him. You laugh, turning your head slightly to look at him.Ā
āAre you complimenting yourself right now?āĀ
āAm I wrong?āĀ
āYour sweet tooth is so bad,ā You say through giggles āYour poor dentist,āĀ
He gasps in offense.
āI will have you know I keep my pearly whites pristine. Not a single cavity for the record.ā He says back, placing emphasis on the last words. You snort a laugh.Ā
āIāve never had one either,ā You repeat back, perhaps mindlessly before saying āThereās a lot we donāt know about each other yet.āĀ
Yet. Yet. Gojoās subconscious will hold onto that word for too long. It makes his heart beat too loud. Heās relieved that youāre nothing like him. If you were in this very moment, you would hear the thunder raging inside of his ribs.Ā
Instead of saying anything, he scoffs playfully.Ā
āI bet you were such a goody two-shoes that you never ate sweets before bed-time.āĀ
Your eyes widen in surprise followed by embarrassment, where you tuck your chin into your sweater.Ā
āUgh,ā You say, so weakly Gojo canāt stop himself from laughing āWhatās wrong with being a goody two shoes, huh?āĀ
Gojo feels almost feline in his self-satistication. āI didnāt say anything was wrong with it, just that you were one.āĀ
Your frown deepens.Ā
āI donāt care for your tone, mister.āĀ
āAre you gonna scold me like one of your students?āĀ
āIf it gets you to be nice,ā You say firmly, in that Teacher voice that Gojo has caught glimpses of over the last few months. He does a fake salute.Ā
āYes, maāam!,ā He proclaims,Ā soft enough so only you hear it. You break out into another set of his giggles, melting his cold heart. Itās not the smile so much as it is yours.Ā The line moves up just a little bit. Gojo steps in front of you before you have a chance, his figure shadowing you.Ā
āWhat do you want?āĀ
āI think Iām gonna get one of those fruit teas and some cake.ā You say absentmindedly. He smiles at you playfully.Ā
āHeard,āĀ
Gojo turns to order for you both, laughing through your obvious protests about his paying for you. Heās able to block you from getting in the way as the cashier looks on the both of you bemusedly. When the order is placed, Gojo taps his phone against the reader before moving aside where you stomp your feet and follow him.Ā
āI told you I would get it this time,ā You whine. He hums.Ā
āMm, thereās always next time?āĀ
āYou say that every time!āĀ
āSo you never know? Maybe itās next time for sure.āĀ
You seem to realize that this is a fruitless conversation and that heās not going to relent. With a flush on your face, you cross your arms and pout.Ā
āIāll get you back one of these times, I swearā¦.Anyway, thank you.ā You add the last part quietly. He hums.Ā
āItās only fair, you know. After all, who else would come here to eat sweets with me?āĀ
You look taken aback but Gojo doesnāt retract his statement. Heās sure thereās someone he could ask. But thereās no one who would agree to it as easily as you have. The environment wouldnāt be so welcoming, either. Someone who would do something like this with Gojo is long lost. It almost feels foreign to him now.Ā
In order to ease the tension, you look up at him warmly.Ā
āThen, Iām glad you asked me.āĀ
There it is again. That warm, sort of fluttery feeling he gets in his chest being around you. He wonders if heās allowed to be so happy.Ā
The food arrives at the counter, the young woman calling out for Gojo. You and Gojo split the task of carrying the plates, picking a nice booth in the corner with the top covered, You slide in across from him, situating your bag.Ā
You and Gojo go back and forth, setting up everything so it looks nice under the lights. Gojo takes on taking the photos this time, clicking from a few different angles and stopping to show you after each photo.Ā
āIāll send you the picture later, okay?āĀ
āDonāt forget.āĀ
āI wonāt, I wonāt. Letās eat, okay?āĀ
You nod enthusiastically.
__Ā
You and Gojo eat and chat comfortably for a while.Ā
Heās not sure how much time passes. He wasnāt checking because why would he? Heād like to be with you a bit longer, so he refrains from thinking about it and hopes you do the same. Just a bit more, he tells himself. Until you really, really have to go.Ā
Thereās nothing major to catch up on. You tell Gojo about your job, mostly and how you saw some friends from out of town the week before. Winter is coming and you want to do something nice for the holidays. Youāre getting along well with your fellow teachers which is good. He was worried about that, but he canāt keep eyes on you at school.Ā
(Not for not having tried. Heās thought about it, but his presence would be too noticeable and he doesnāt trust anyone else to the task)Ā
So itās relieving. Your only complaint has been that some of the students have the sort of parents you canāt handle. Pushy and involved in a way you canāt ignore but canāt tolerate either. Gojo jokes to take care of them, gesturing to his arm like heās ready to knock someone's lights out.Ā
That makes you laugh, and following it you have this melancholy look that sends alarms blaring in Gojoās head. You donāt broach the subject at all afterwards. You talk about everything else you can. The sale on radishes at the market, thinking about getting a car just to have it, maybe visiting your parents sometime soon.Ā
Gojo listens. He doesnāt have much to add. His work is strictly classified to people who arenāt in the field and itās nothing fun to begin with. He does tell you what he can - usually about some antics his students have gotten into during training. He can at least talk about that.Ā
He tells you about the movies heās watched, how he went drinking with his co-workers last week, and how he thinks Pokupan is starting to act friendlier to him.Ā
Itās fun because itās you. Gojo likes feeling like heās involved with you intimately. He likes hearing you talk. The sound of your voice is such a pleasant contrast to his own. You talk with a kind of joy Gojo could never hope to carry, all gestures and smiles and interjections - trying to make sure your point comes across. How you donāt think the kid sitting in the front is a bad kid, just needs guidance. How the material of your sweater isnāt really cashmere but more of a blend.Ā
Time passesĀ comfortably that way. The drinks and food have been reduced to crumbs and cold drops of tea, glasses emptied and phones abandoned.Ā
But neither of you have made any move to leave, and Gojo is still listening to you talk with a pleased smile on his face. It was a pleasant sort of day, remember?Ā
āSo it was fine in the end, but the classroom was such a mess seriouslyāāĀ
So, it throws Gojo off when you stop speaking so abruptly. How easily the atmosphere melts, and what an unpleasant film it leaves behind.Ā
It feels like an axe hammering on a stop, a sharp and near violent thud that cuts off the end of your sentence. The air becomes tense in the blink of an eye. Gojo can feel it, the sensation of cursed energy. Itās stagnated, little like pebbles at the bottom of a creek. But itās there, and Gojo can feel it creep over your shoulders like a sixth sense. Like someone skipped a stone over that same water. He senses it in the air like dust in the light.
He sits up straight, focusing his attention on you.Ā
āHey,ā He calls out, softening his voice as much as he can. Trying hard to identify what's wrong exactly āYou okay?āĀ
Your hands shake as you lay them flat on the table. Youāre almost completely spaced out by now. It all happens in the blink of an eye.Ā
Gojo stares at you, calling to you a second time.Ā
āHey. Hey, look at me?āĀ
When you finally hear him, you jump in your skin. Your shoulders relax when you realize itās only Gojo. Normally that would make him happy, but not like this. Your hands are shaking. A nervous fidget in all of your movements that heās never seen before, like youāve been shocked with electric wire. He hates it. The taste of your fear (this fear) is different and unfamiliar.Ā
He doesnāt like it.Ā
You turn your head to look at him then avert your eyes again. He canāt follow your gaze as it shifts. Itās too erratic.
āNo, uhm. Itās just, uhm.āĀ
āWoah! Hey, Miss. I wasnāt expecting to see you here,āĀ
Everything feels like it slows down as Gojo watches your eyes snap up. Your expression drops again, even lower, and if he listens close enough he can hear the sound of your heart. Your discomfort is tangible. It leaves a metallic taste in Gojoās mouth as you suddenly curl in yourself, shoulders hunched and peeling skin off your nails.Ā
You donāt even look to Gojo for help. Instead, your words go soft.Ā You become helpless in front of his eyes.Ā
āOh. Yes, hello.ā You bow your head trying to say as little as possible. Gojo stares as you shake like a leaf in the wind. Something ugly curls up inside of him, a knife twisting in his chest.Ā
āAw, cāmon? Whatās with the unfriendly act? Is it ācause youāre here with your boyfriend?ā
You look up at him panicked. Not because of the comment, but because of his tone. Gojo hears it too. How sinister it is. Like heās blaming you for it somehow, like youāve wronged him. The feeling inside of him is so ugly, itās so wretched. His knuckles turn nearly white from how hard heās closing his fist. You put your hands up and go to explain yourself anxiously.Ā
It makes Gojo sick. He smiles, turning his head just a little so he can see. He opens his eyes and stares, focusing his vision on remembering every detail of the bastard's face.
āIām not her boyfriend. Weāre neighbors,ā He explains, tone as cold as ice but smiling.Ā
Gojo puts pressure in the atmosphere. His natural and suffocating aura returns to him easily. He smiles and remains unnervingly still, waits in quiet for the man to respond. He scratches the back of his head, still indignant.Ā
āUh. Okay. I guess thatās good. Wouldnāt be appropriate for a teacher to be out on a date like this huh?āĀ
Again. This guy, whoever he is, turns his head like heās trying to talk down to you. Diverts his perversion and sadism towards you that leaves Gojo wondering what his head would look like against concrete. A bitter, heinous feeling waits inside of him, nesting into his ribs as the sound of every voice in the room comes to be muffled. All Gojo can hear is his heart. How long it's been since heās heard it.Ā
Itās loud. A cacophony, or a hymn. Divine rage in the sound of his soul leaves has him unsure of how to proceed.Ā
Gojo glances at you. Your eyes are rounded, full of desperation. Pleading.Ā
Gojo hates whoever this is. Gojo wants to save you. He thinks you deserve to be saved.Ā
He stands up. He has enough height on the guy to be intimidating, the guy just barely coming up to his shoulder. Gojo stares down wildly, pulling his glasses to the bridge of his nose to peek briefly over the edge. The bastard stops talking immediately, words coming to a stutter, Itās satisfying.Ā
āWho are you?ā He asks.Ā
āWh-why is that any of your concern? Canāt you see Iām talking toāāĀ
āI didnāt ask about who you were talking to. I asked who you were,āĀ
He hears you from behind him āHeās a parent from my school,ā
āAh, okay. Interesting. Since youāre a parent, we wouldnāt want to make this a confrontation right?ā Gojo says, bemused āItād be a real issue for everyone if it turned out that way,āĀ
Gojo puts a hand on his shoulder, tightening his grip hard enough to hear him gasp. Heās weak, but thatās to be expected.
āSo, I suggest you turn around and head home, hm? Since we wouldnāt want it to be a big fuss.āĀ
Gojo can see it now. With a little pressure, he could turn the blade of his shoulder in sawdust and watch him fall to his knees. Heād let out a cry, a sharp pathetic wail like a hit dog. Gojo would make him say sorry to you before he lets up his hand from his skin. Heād do it infront of everyone in the store so they could hold a little fear in their hearts.Ā
He wonāt do it. Just for now. If it complicates your work then you wouldnāt be able to support yourself. What would he do if you ended up somewhere far away? Out of his sight, something like this could happen again and Gojo wouldnāt be able to take care of you.Ā
So he doesnāt crush it. He pushes his palms into his shoulder blades and whispers quietly, just so the two of them hear. He pulls away and watches as his face goes pale, a simple stutter leaving his lips. Something about how heāll see you later and that somethings come up before he turns around and leaves.
Gojo watches as he does. The door chimes again, and the man disappears. The patrons who mightāve glanced turn away again like it was just a simple altercation, which is good. Then finally, Gojo looks at you where you are. Your hands are trembling so hard, a shake of relief in your shoulders as you cover your face. You look like youāre getting ready to cry, so Gojo takes it into his own hands. He cleans up all the food, wipes the table, and even grabs your jacket and bag as you take a minute to collect yourself.Ā
He taps your shoulder lightly afterwards, waiting for you to look up. Once you do he smiles, reaches a hand out to you so you donāt have to think twice.Ā
āAbout time to get out of here, huh?āĀ
You nod, so slowly. You look so relieved, even as you sniffle. Your hand is so small compared to his. He squeezes it protectively as you slide it into his own, and helps you walk out of the store together.Ā
The air is cold, the same as before, the temperature having warmed just a bit. The bell above the door rings as the two of you finally leave, standing in the street. Unlike before though, thereās something bitter in the air. The sun has hidden itself completely in the clouds and the streets feel emptier, lifeless.Ā
Gojo turns to you with a somber expression, trying to smile. It doesnāt quite reach his eyes.Ā
āDo you want to go somewhere to talk about it, maybe?āĀ
You chew your lower lip then sigh ā...Yeah. Probably should, huh?āĀ
You and Gojo decide on a place not too far from where you are. Itās a small park, a good place to end off an otherwise good day.Ā
You have to take the bus to get there, but thereās not many people. Gojo eventually gives you back your things, lets you slide your jacket on and fix your face - but ultimately takes your hand and holds it on the ride there. He brings it to his lap and you donāt pull away even though you seem to fidget the whole time.Ā
The bus finally stops in front of the park. It takes hardly any time, but Gojo finds heās unable to let go of your hand so he doesnāt. Instead, he holds tight and lets you trail behind. You let him lead you quietly out back in the street. You give your thanks to the driver as the doors close.Ā
He canāt let go of your hand, though he knows now wouldāve been a good time to do it. His grip only grows tighter.Ā
āLet's go find somewhere to sit,ā He offers. You squeeze his hand this time and donāt look away.Ā
āOkay,āĀ
He tries to keep pace with you this time, instead of walking ahead. Your strides are shorter than his so heās careful that you donāt fall behind. Your eyes still have that watery look to them but youāre no longer trembling from fear. Just the cold, if anything.Ā
And your heartbeat no longer sounds so hazardous. Gojo is still restless, still fidgety. His thumb is rubbing circles into your skin but itās not really for you.Ā
You find a bench, eventually - in the middle of the long walk-way just a distance away from a playground. Gojo juts his chin out towards it, before turning over to look at you.
āLetās go sit,āĀ
You nod as you walk together towards it. You sit first, and Gojo finally lets go of you. He sits besides you. Thereās a minute where the whole world is deathly quiet. There should be something calm about it, but it isnāt. Youāre no longer terrified, and a distance away. Thereās no danger lurking in the dark and thereās no cars passing or children crying.Ā
Everything is calm and silent, but Gojo couldnāt feel more unease if he tried. He thinks he hides it well. But thereās that itch again, in a place behind his ribs he canāt reach into and he finds it hard to breathe.Ā
āSo,ā He starts, breaking the tension āIām guessing itās not a friend,āĀ
The stupid joke makes a smile appear on your lips. Itās small, but Gojo takes some comfort in it anyway. You wipe away your lower lash gently, a wet laugh leaving your mouth.Ā
āNo, not a friend. Heās uhm⦠a parent from my school.āĀ
āThe one whoās been bothering you for all these weeks?ā Gojo supplies. You turn your head, eyes widened in surprise. Gojo lets out a breathy laugh.Ā
āYouā¦.knew?āĀ
āNot about him specifically, but I could tell something was bothering you,ā He admits, and then adds āI always pay attention to my favorite person, you know?āĀ
The addition has you looking away, but Gojo doesnāt mind. You sigh, rubbing your face with your palms before leaning back against the bench with your head hanging off the edge.Ā
āHeās the parent of one of my students. Akio, heās a good kid. A really well-behaved one but⦠too well-behaved. Never raises his hand, never complains or says he wonāt do something.āĀ
āIām guessing that sent off an alarm bell, huh?āĀ
You nod softly.Ā
āYeah. I figure it was something at home, but Iād met his mom prior and she was a real angel. Then, his dad came to visit. The man we met at the store, and I knew right away.āĀ
Gojo feels his jaw clench listening to you talk.Ā
āBut still, you know, my job as a teacher is to be as respectful as I can. I always politely declined him when he would make comments and remained professional. Eventually, his mom stopped coming altogether andāI tried, I reallyābut heā¦ā You trail off, a lump in your throat. He watches as tears form in your eyes, his anger getting more and more tangible. He tries not to express it, putting a hand on your knee āHe just⦠kept pushing. A-and once, he looked like he was gonna get violent. I made a report, you know, to the school. But you know how they are,āĀ
āThey never even bothered investigating huh,ā Gojo sneers. You laugh a tired sort of laugh.Ā
āOf course not. After that, I just tried to endure it. And I know he hasnāt done anything technically, but it doesnāt really feel like a matter of if but when,ā You explain haphazardly.Ā Gojo squeezes where his hand rests.Ā
āI believe you. Itās okay,ā He says as soothingly as he possibly can āItās okay. Iām here,āĀ
Thereās a sense of relief that washes over your whole body and before he knows it, youāre breaking down. He feels a lot of emotions all at the same time, watching your little frame as you lose it so easily in front of him. A part of him is so furious he wants to make it everyone's problem. Another part of him is so deeply sad knowing youāve suffered all on your own.Ā
And the most notable part of him is the sense of protectiveness, burrowing inside of him. A sense of possession. It sinks into him like teeth, seeps into his blood like the venom of an animal so that he bleeds and breathes it. Gojo canāt shake that deep sense of urgency, a nameless and faceless desire that consumes him. He shudders.. He holds it in, all of it. Cups his hands so desperately so that it doesnāt spill over and touch you, the ink of ruining the soft white of your clothes.Ā
In a world that you have made beautiful, desire is ugly. Hideous and infectious, it tears Gojo limb from limb. It makes Gojo feel on edge. Gojo should not desire for any more than what he was. People always die when he does.Ā
But maybe they donāt have to. Maybe, he can protect you. He can keep you safe. He wants to keep you safe. He wants to keep you all to himself.
Itās in an effort to soothe those feelings that his arms find themselves around your form. Itās the first time youāve hugged in such an intimate way. Where expects you to turn away - you donāt.Ā
Instead you cling, your arms around his jacket and your face in his chest. You cry and weep and sob and you look so small like that. You look like youāll collapse and Gojo holds you. Says itās okay, itās okay, itās okay as you let it all out. It must feel good to finally let it all out, after everything and he doesnāt intend to stop you.Ā
āI promise Iāll always protect you from now on,ā And he says it, and means it. If you feel the weight of his statement, you donāt let it show āItās okay. You can cry if you need too,āĀ
You cry and cry and cry.Ā
And Gojo thinks the call of heaven is nothing in comparison to the sound.Ā
__
In the end, Gojo canāt forgive him.Ā
Itās not without effort. He tries to do it at your request, because after all the tears he wants to help. He says he can maybe pull some strings. But that gentle heart you have declines. You donāt want it to become a big deal. You feel a little better knowing he knows. In the end, you donāt want it to affect that brats reputation.Ā
āYou know how kids can be,ā You say, voice full of concern for everyone but yourself āI donāt want to make school life anymore difficult than his life at home must be,āĀ
So, Gojo tries to listen to you. But days pass, and days turn into weeks. In the end, a month goes by and Gojo is full of terrible and divine anger.Ā
In the end, Gojo wonāt forgive him. Gojo canāt let it go. He feels so righteous in it, he starts avoiding his own eyes in the mirror. Thereās something inside of them he has no desire to look at. Eyes that tell all, Gojo turns away from their gaze. Gojo is angry for you, and itās not in his character to do nothing about it.Ā
He decides on less of a whim that it looks. He wonders about alternatives, if thereās anything that can stop this feeling from imploding inside of him but nothing comes.
When he decides that nothing can be done, Gojo goes out of his way to start watching him.Ā
Like any mission, he needs enough background information to map out a plan.Ā He wants to make sure that it has virtually no pushback for you. Thereās always a possibility youāll get caught in the crossfire and thatād be the worst possible outcome. Gojo can protect you from a lot of things, but heās not as confident about the law.Ā
(Not that he canāt. Just not in the good, right way heās sure you want him to protect you in. Gojoās love is divine, not right. Thereās nothing in this world Gojo canāt shield you from, because heās the strongest.)
Ā He also canāt make anything obvious or leave any room for interpretation. If thereās anything that feels off when the reports go live - youāll stick your nose where it doesnāt belong. He thinks in the instance you find out (about all of it, the premeditationĀ especially) youād probably tuck your tail and run.Ā
(Gojo would find you. But the chase means thereās some time youāre apart. The thought is almost nauseating.)Ā
He likes that youāre curious about everything. In most instances anyways. But he thinks itās better to leave you in the dark sometimes. Having you worry about it would ruin the point of this. And sometimes, itās better not knowing every detail. Honeytraps are more ethical than nets.Ā
Heās doing it for you in the end, like he does most things. And the kid will benefit, maybe even get some sympathy from his classmates for a while about the tragedy that befell his father. Gojo thinks itās a good plan because no one loses.Ā Itās a lot like killing a curse.Ā
It only takes two weeks to learn virtually everything there is to know. A guy like that doesnāt have much he can hide.Ā
The name of his target, he learns, is Nobu Watanabe. Father to Akio Watanbe and ex-husband to Akiko Watanbe. Heās a recently released felon (let off on good behavior) with a battery and assault with a deadly weapon charge. Heās a college drop-out, and has been working a lot of odd-jobs since he was 16.
His personality is bad, worse is his drinking and smoking habits. Heās often found drunk in the street, and has a track record for single nights spent in a cell. His ex-wife is usually the one bailing him out. Gojo canāt help but feel sorry for her. Somehow, he doubts that heās good to her. Heās a deadbeat father through and through. He only offers to pick up his kid to harass you. At least from what he can tell.Ā
He isnāt as awful to his kid as everyone else. Gojo doubts that was always the case. Akio isnāt a bad kid, but itās hard not to notice the way the light in his eyes disappears when his father comes around to pick him up. A head always looking towards the floor, hands tucked in his pockets.Ā
Itās difficult for Gojo to feel any guilt about what heās doing. After everything, he canāt find it in himself to feel any regret.Ā
His target is currently working at a dock, not too far from the city. He seems to work there most days, working at a bar on the weekends. Itās a big company that handles foreign goods that he does physical labor for. Lifting and moving boxings, checking inventory - itās not a complicated affair.Ā
If thereās not a major shipment, he still seems to clock in so heās definitely paid some kind of hourly wage. He smokes often on the job, but works diligently when there is something to do. An easy but physical job, heās strong. Gojo can understand what intimidates you about him.Ā
Gojo, though, isnāt intimidated by him at all.Ā
He waits a week before he takes action. To shake off anyone or anything that might be trailing him, and to make sure that everything is the same as he observed. That his schedule wasnāt going to change. A week passes, and when Gojo has confirmation - he decides to do what he does best.Ā
Gojo Satoru decides to play God on a Sunday.
Sunday is a day shipments come in and a day he often works alone. The pay is better on Sunday and Nobu is the only one on his shift who takes it. Heās not expected to finish the strenuous work because heās alone for such a long stretch of time - just to make a dent in it. The people at the next shift are the ones who finish the job.Ā
He starts his day as early as 6am. Itās near winter, so the world is painted in a miraculously melancholy blue. Gojo follows him that morning. He knows the route well enough to trail behind him and not attract any attention. They pass together, turning corners and taking bus rides until Nobuās finally in at his job.Ā
There, they part briefly. His target goes into the big white building and he goes on top. Gojo has to teleport to the roof because everything is gated with security cameras covering every inch of the property. Following him puts Gojo at risk. So he waits on top of the building, hands in his pocket and pacing until Nobu comes out the otherside to the docks. His jumpsuit put on haphazardly, only half-pulled up to his waist, with a clipboard and pen as a bunch of boxes waiting for him to check them.Ā
After Gojo confirms that heās alone, he lies in wait. He sits and waits - watching as the clouds pass. Watching the open sea, how it remains unchanging no matter what boats pass through to shore. He looks at his phone every now and again to check the time.Ā
It shouldnāt be too difficult to actually do it.Ā
You know, if Gojo turns his infinity on, thereās nothing in the world that can touch him. He can touch it, but it canāt touch him. There will always be a barrier between his hands and the world. Between him and the known universe, a bridge that started burning the minute Gojo was born into it. If Gojo turns on his infinity, thereās no way to leave traces of him behind.Ā
Did you know? If Gojo turns on his infinity, his fingerprints donāt show up. Thereās no DNA to find. Not a trace of him in the world that he hasnāt left purposefully. Even if Gojo chokes him with his hands bare hands - he wouldnāt be touching him. But Gojo can feel it. Feel his pulse, feel his breathing come down slowly.
If thereās such a thing as heaven or hell, Gojo wants to ask God about being homicidal. If it was a flaw of human design or their Lord reflected inside of them.Ā
He lies in wait on top of the roof until 7.Ā
When 7 hits, the world around him is still so dark. No one kills in broad daylight. The heavens are murky, sky full of black clouds like puffs of smoke. Itās freezing cold, a spine-tingling chill making its way up Gojoās skin and hardening his hands. . Gojo waits for the doors of the garage to creak open. When the sound echoes into the air, a metal screech in the void, Gojo stands to his feet.Ā
He jumps to the ground, landing with a dull thud. He comes out unscathed, a cat on his feet. He dusts off the front of his pants. Nobu hasnāt taken notice of him. Gojo takes a look around them. Thereās no cameras in the warehouse. Gojo waits alone in the dark.Ā
Five minutes. Itās five minutes when all of the lights go out.Ā
āWhat the fuck?ā Nobu mumbles, dropping his clipboard on top of a bunch of boxes, running a hand through his hair. Gojo waits in silence, watches as he turns around.Ā
When he finally does, he jumps back in shock. Gojo feels a cold chill run through his body.Ā
āWhat the fuck? Who the hell are you?ā Nobu asks. Gojo grins.Ā
āAh, you donāt remember? We met a few weeks ago! We had a nice little exchange and everything.ā He says, voice going higher by an octave. The man in front of him stares, off put by Gojosā presence. He stumbles in his thinking, his body tensing up.Ā
āWho theā¦what the fuck is going on?āĀ
āHey, donāt be so scared,ā Gojo says, then uses his teleport to phase himself closer. Nobuās eyes widen, shocked. Scared out of his wits, with the story of heartbeat like heās being hunted. āTough guy like you has nothing to be scared of, does he?āĀ
āW-w-whatā¦how did youā¦āĀ
Gojo shakes his head.Ā
āDonāt worry about it, man.ā He says, voice calm and smooth and even. Heās surprised by how his emotions feel in his body. Like heās so angry that heās not. Thereās something inside of him, the white waters that wade, that Gojo can feel. Itās strange āWeāve got about 5 minutes till the lights come back on.āĀ
For a while, they stand at a draw. No one moves. Not him, or Nobu, or the open oceans. Itās quiet for a dock. Even quieter for a dock in Tokyo, and Gojoās not even using his abilities. He probably wonāt need too, other than infinity - thereās not any good reason for him to exert himself any more than he must.Ā
Weeks of planning, weeks of watching, weeks of waiting. Nothing feels like it matters at the moment. He wants it to be over soon-ish.Ā
Itās not that Gojo is particularly sadistic.Ā
Itās just that, everything feels like itās teetering over this very moment. He thinks it to himself quietly like someone trying to remember where they last left their keys.Ā
Briefly, Gojo thinks āI canāt go back,ā after this. In the back of his head he just knows.
He envies this aggravating strangers' ignorance, too.Ā
āWhat do you want from me?ā He says, stuttering - a gasping breath of fear in his lungs that snaps Gojo out of his thoughts. Gojo shrugs.Ā
āNothing, really. Iām not short on money, you know? I make a good living,ā He says, spouting off about nothing as he closes the gap between them. Stepping closer infinitely until Gojo backs him into the garage, into the tall tower of boxers where thereās no cameras and no witnesses āHmā¦is there anything you can do to fix this?āĀ
No, Gojo answers mostly to himself, But wouldnāt that be nice?Ā
āP-please, I haveāāĀ
āA son right? And an ex-wife, and a dead mom in Saitama. You didnāt think I came here without doing any research, did you? Weāre the same in that way you know, I might be a frivolous - but hell if Iām not diligent,āĀ
He looks like heās going to throw up. Gojo remains indifferent.Ā
āWho are you?ā He asks, this time really wondering. With that hoarse voice of curiosity, of defeat.
Gojo hums.
āGood question. Who do you think I am?ā Gojo poses and lifts his hands up. He puts them around his neck, pushing hard until his back is against the stack of boxes. Itās dark but Gojo can see everything. He keeps his open, tightening the grip of his hands slowly.Ā
Nobu tries to spit something out but the words get sputtered, muffled by lack of oxygen.Ā
āDo you think Iām a devil? An angel? God? I wonder,ā Gojo says, staring. With his mask on, but his eyes opened wide. āGuess Iām kind of like a boogeyman,āĀ
Gojo can feel it. His body underneath his palms, gasping and struggling for air. He can feel his hands try to pry his hands off. He can feel his body slowly start to lose its air, how he deflates like a balloon. Gojo is unmoving, unfazed, unworried. Heās near motionless except the hard grip of his hand on his neck and the pulse that slows gently under his palms.Ā
It takes 5 minutes, maybe less, with all the strength in both his hands. Gojo isnāt counting. He holds on for maybe 2 minutes after that, just to make sure itās not a fluke. He waits till the heart stops sounding in his ears and until the body is completely limp except for where Gojo is holding him away. He goes out sad. Useless, even.Ā
When Gojo stops, Nobuās body drops to the floor with a dull thud. He stares at it for a while, then sighs. Itād be nice if he could just leave it there, but he does his due diligence. Picks it up from the ground with relative ease, over his shoulders.Ā
He walks it out towards the dock - the very edge, before tossing it in water and watching it sink. When it disappears from his sight, Gojo is left with his reflection in the deep blue. He meets his eyes for the first time in weeks, and knows heās seeing exactly what he thought he would.Ā
His anger has settled, just barely. Just enough to be able to see the change in his own vision. With his Six Eyes, Gojo can see that thereās no turning back.
Ā With his mask on, he looks at himself, warped in the vision of the sea. The vision of himācrystalline and white and blueāmurky and moving.Ā
Gojo jumps to the roof and turns the light on again. The power comes back.Ā
A dog barks distantly, over and over and over. Gojo watches the sun rise alone.Ā
__
The following weeks pass without a hitch. Gojo feels like nothing has changed.Ā
(But thatās not true. Everything is different. The same but different)
At the two week mark, winter has set in and Gojo is spending time with you in your apartment together. Currently, youāre cooking dinner (after carefully instructing Gojo to stay put in the living room.) Gojo is sitting watching T.V. Heās helping you grade papers at the coffee table, humming to himself.Ā
Itās about 7 when the news starts to play. A local news channel and a familiar face on the T.V. Gojo is surprised when the breaking news report airs.Ā
āTwo weeks ago, a missing persons report was filed for ex-convict Nobu Watanbe. Sources say he was last seen working at a Dock in Tokyo - which experienced a power outage. Itās reported that Nobu seemed to have gone missing at the time, and hasnāt made contact with anyone since then. Could this be the work of aā¦āĀ
The rest of the reportĀ Gojo tunes out. He turns his head slightly to see if youāve noticed. Your eyes are glued to it., standing and staring silently. You place your spatula on a towel on the counter.
āWe got word about a week prior to this,ā You say, breaking the silence after some time without Gojo prompting. He looks at you āAkio started coming with his mom again and she gave me the story. It wasnāt unusual for him to up and disappear, but he hadnāt done so since Akio was born,āĀ
āThat so?ā Gojo says, nonplussed. You nod.Ā
āI feel guilty but,ā You trail off, rubbing your arm anxiously āI canāt help but be⦠relieved. Just a little. I donāt want the guy to be dead or anything, but it,āĀ
Gojo stops you in the middle of your sentence.Ā
āYou donāt have anything you need to feel guilty about,ā He corrects, voice stern. You give him a sad look but he remains firm in his stance āHe was harassing you for weeks. Itās only natural that you feel relieved, you know?āĀ
Youāre not entirely content with the response, but you seem to know well enough this isnāt something Gojo will compromise on. You sigh, looking down at the floor.Ā
āYeah. Thatās true I guess, but still. I wonder what happened to him, or if he just decided to run away,āĀ
Gojo pretends to think about it.Ā
āMaybe. Otherwiseā¦guess it was Godās divine punishment,ā He says, continuing to grade papers. He doesnāt even look up as he says it. You let out a puff of air through your nose in amusement .Ā
āYeah,ā You say, āMaybe. I should thank him some time,ā
Gojo hums.
āI donāt think thatās a bad idea,āĀ
nah if the house of representatives agree to ban tik tok of all things, i hope all of them [redacted] omg. yāall canāt agree on banning assault rifles thatās the reason why we are the country that leads in mass shootings statistically. yāall cant agree on health care? minimum wage? homelessness? but you guys can agree on an app. which letās be honest here, you only want control of the app to further push your agenda of censorship š
good read for teachers.
for those confused about the boop-o-meter, when you opt in it will give you a little button next to your username that other people will be able to click and send you a notification that says boop! a little cat paw will appear on your screen for a second when you do it to other people
if you opt out for the day, the button wont be there. and if you hover over it for a few seconds, it'll do a little spin and then you can do a super boop!
One day you think: I want to die. And then you think, very quietly, actually I want a coffee. I want a nap. A sandwich. A book. And I want to die turns day by day into I want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friends, I want to sit in the sun. I want a cleaner room, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else, I want to live.
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