He's The Queen Now

Epic but it's just a DnD game

DM: “The cyclops pulls out a club and takes a swing. Everyone make a dexterity saving throw” Odysseus: “Nat 20!” Eurylochus: “17!” Polites: “That’ll be a nat 1…” *Polites’s miniature is knocked from the board*

DM: “Odysseus walks off with the wind bag. Everyone make a wisdom saving throw” Eurylochus: “…I got a 3” DM: “You gotta see what’s inside that bag” Eurylochus: “But I’m Odysseus’s second in command, surely I’d tru-“ DM: “YOU GOTTA SEE WHAT’S INSIDE THAT BAG”

Odysseus: “I must be a god like you, ‘cause I got this root from the ground with my bare hands!” DM: “Make an intimidation check” Odysseus: “…yeah that’s a 1” Circe: “Hermes gave it to you, didn’t he”

Circe: “I roll to seduce Odysseus… 17!” DM: “Not bad! Odysseus, make a wisdom saving throw” Odysseus: “Nat 20, baby!!” DM: “Sorry, Circe, Odysseus really does just love his wife that much”

DM: “A siren appears, wearing Penelope’s face… Odysseus, make a wisdom saving throw” Odysseus: “Another nat 20 let’s gooo-" DM: “Okay so you can just sail on by-" Odysseus: “No no let me roll for persuasion, let’s have some fun with this”

Odysseus: “Please don’t tell me you’re about to do what I think you’ll do” DM: “Roll for persuasion” Odysseus: “…nat 1” DM: “your luck has run out. Eurylochus, steak time. Nom nom nom”

Eurylochus: “But we’ll die” DM: “Roll for persuasion” Eurylochus: “…nat 1” Odysseus: “I know” Eurylochus: “dude come ON-“ DM: *lightning noises*

Odysseus: “If you’re plan’s so great, then why’d you wait to say it?” DM: “Hermes, make a performance check” Hermes: “NAT 20 DARLING” DM: “This campaign is now a Hermes dance party. Ody, you’re fighting those sea monsters on your own while Hermes just tears it up in the corner”

Poseidon: “After everything you’ve done, how will you sleep at night?” Odysseus: “Next to my wife” Literally the entire party: “OHHHHHHHHHHH” DM: “THAT’S AN INSPIRATION POINT FOR YOU” *Cut to Odysseus beating every single suitor in the span of like an hour*

Part 2

I almost never cosplay, so might as well share this cunty triangle ✨slaying✨💅 in a different way than his usual murdering

Angsty

A sketch of artemis from the hades game, cuz i really like her aesthetic. I wasn't sure if it looked better with or without the forest background, so here you go, two versions 🤣

I Do Not Control the Speed at Which Lobster Die 🦞

lotr but nobody knows anything about the other races

Pippin thinks Legolas is a woman

Boromir is convinced that the hobbits are all 15 max

Everyone thinks that Merry and Pippin are twins, except for Legolas, who is convinced the hobbits are quadruplets

Sam thinks that Aragorn, Boromir and Legolas don't have to eat to survive

Legolas doesn't mention things he sees or hears because he thinks the others have noticed them to and just assumes they have a plan

Pippin complains that he is hungry and Legolas just gives him a handful of grass. Pippin is so confused that he just takes it, and now Legolas tries to figure out what hobbits can eat by just giving them random shit, like

Things the hobbits have accepted and likely eaten later (a list by legolas)

-Grass - Leaves

-Stones - a hair tie

-A feather - one of Gimli's shoes

The hobbits and Gimli just assume that this is what elves eat

Au fucking revoir Mister Prince

I find it incredibly funny that Americans will stop at nothing to Americanize every IP and storyline they can come across. They stop at nothing to take a story line and make it digestible and self grandulating for an American as possible

Except for some fucking reason Dracula is the one exception to the rule because why do they never include the cowboy

that theory that the Arkenstone is a Silmaril…it’s doubly implausible, but imagine if nobody knew. If the dwarves were guarded enough of their greatest treasure that…you wouldn’t even need to hide it from that many people, honestly. Mostly a few elves, and all wizards.

and then Bilbo sidles up to Gandalf like, “Thorin and all are holed up in the Mountain, but I think they’re being nuts, so I…kind of stole the Arkenstone, I think.” And (it’s been thousands of years since the light of the trees was doused save for the precious brilliance locked away in Feanor’s gems, since oaths and blood and war that raged until the skies cracked and the earth shattered, and the little people of the Shire have no memory of it at all) he pulls out a fucking Silmaril.

I have to read this comic 🤣

Why did no one tell me there was an official gravity falls comic?

It’s some good extra canon-ish content