Obsessed With The Fact That The Most Popular Ships In The Metal Gear Fandom Are

i like how kaz is kinda a 4 time divorcee (big boss, ocelot, venom, nameless wife.) messiest bitch to ever live.

I have a black heart.

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yes, kaz and everyone else on mother base became infertile in 1984, as a side effect from a measure inhibiting the vocal cord parasite. he also has a daughter named catherine, who seemed to be a child during MG2 in 1999. In reality, this is probably just another inconsistency between the older games and the newer prequels that kojima ignored/forgot/didn’t care about but if we want to play in this narrative space, it probably means either kaz got cucked and KNEW but raised the child anyways, or kaz adopted a kid. both of which are kind of sweet…

enamoured by the percentage of canonically infertile mgs characters

so I’m replaying MGS2 right now

(text from @demonictwistedlich99 ‘s iconic post ofc)

kojima otasune tweets: they’re basically married :) like johnlock :)

kojima bosselot tweets: [the horniest yaoi you have ever seen a 50something ostensibly heterosexual man retweet]

mother stands for comfort

mother will hide the murderer

hiiiii i just started getting into metal gear like a month ago and ive been enjoying reading everyones thoughts and headcanons as i get to know the series sooo tell me about your favorite metal gear ships :3 you can just yap about any thoughts or headcanons you have about them (and also maybe if you have any headcanons about any of the characters sexualities?)

hi! thank u so much for this, welcome to the fandom, you’ve already made some banger posts haha. if i start getting into all my hcs this post will be wayyy too long (and i will end up talking about those at some point anyways) so i’ll just give my general overview of how i see each, plus a “theme song” because i am addicted to My Playlists. under readmore bc i am Unhinged and this is Unbearably Long

ships

otasune - THE mgs ship of all time. only pure and stable relationship in the series. those guys were so in love and needed eachother so bad in many ways. their gay love really did save the world. lots to say about them but i keep writing too much and deleting it but if i may emphasize one thing it’s that the end of mgs4 is BASICALLY A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL? can everyone get more insane about this please? theme song: night sky patrol of tomorrow by orangestar ft ia (despite being vocaloid, this is snake pov)

bosselot - i love unrequited love. the only thing better than unrequited love is bonkerballs crazy unrequited love. and that’s what bosselot is. everyone needs to start playing with me in this unrequited love space right MEOW! big boss appreciates ocelot and sees him as a close comrade but he is not at all in love. ocelot is so in love it’s all consuming. both parties know how the other feels. this doesn’t mean they never fucked. theme song: i’m your man by leonard cohen

bbkaz - when it starts, both parties just see it as Intricate Rituals to let off steam (kaz)/assert dominance(bb), but a certain blonde catches feelings, though he would never admit that to himself or others! maybe big boss is fully aware or how kaz feels for him, maybe not. big boss enjoys feeling power and leverage over kaz and feels a possesiveness which is probably the closest he gets to romantic love for anyone in the series. and then they have the most destructive situationship breakup EVER! it’s so delicious. theme song: only time will tell by asia (stole this from kojima himself, it’s a casette tape in mgsv)

strangeboss: sorry i ALSO see this one as unrequited love, but it is still great. maybe they slept together a couple times and i think the boss did genuinely appreciate strangelove but i think she was like damn this lady is too crazy and young for me. like ocelot tho, strangelove’s love was not deterred. it’s just hers resulted in less evil shit lol. i think this ship is underappreciated, and people should talk more about strangelove, her love for the boss, and the ripple effects of that love. also the otasune parallels can we talk about the parallels. theme song: landslide by fleetwood mac

sexualities

ok i actually have a post in my drafts about this, but what interests me more than characters’ sexualities is how they identify. because i love Denial and it’s realistic considering the characters and time period. i’ll go into it more in another post but here are my hcs for their real sexuality and what they call themselves.

theboss: bi, id’s as straight, but could admit to an attraction to women if pressed

bb: gay but romantically stunted (not aro! it’s a diff thing!) id’s as interested in dominating men, but uninterested in sex or romance

ocelot: gay, probably id’s as such but could get pretentious about it

kaz: bi, id’s as straight even with a gun to his head

strangelove: canon out lesbian!

venom: straight, id’s as whatever big boss’ deal is thanks to Ocelot’s Reverse Conversion Therapy™

solid: gay. thought he was bi for a long time but realized his “attraction” for women was just something he felt he was supposed to do. i think he has always been surprisingly accepting of his attraction to men, but obviously was not out for various reasons, including don’t ask don’t tell.

gray fox: gay but like solid doesn’t ask doesn’t tell

liquid: gay only bc he is a clone of bb and i believe sexuality is innate but i am so uninterested in him it’s whatever

solidus: gay bc he is a bb clone, but absolutely had a wife and shit for his presidential career. probably never was able to confront his sexuality even a little bit. aw damn am i gonna start feeling bad for solidus? (probably not)

otacon: bi, but in denial until he realized his feelings for solid snake, which recontexualized a lot of stuff about how he reacted to the jjba guys

raiden: metrosexual. sorry.

ee: fujoshi

everyone else has a clear cut sexuality (vamp), i don’t care enough about to write about (volgin, raikov, that guy vamp banged) or i just see as straight.

i like how kaz is kinda a 4 time divorcee (big boss, ocelot, venom, nameless wife.) messiest bitch to ever live.

"Raiden is a metrosexual" how could you do that to psm. They wanted him so bad they're in actual shambles rn. They might even cancel the magazine /joke

raiden is meterosexual SPECIFICALLY to crush adam warren’s (psm comic artist who draws slutty raiden) dreams