While She Had Never Been Great At Accepting Help, Zahra Was Grateful She Had Run Into Julia, And Even

"It does sound nice, and I'm glad you liked it. I don't think I'm much of a beach person myself," she admitted with a shrug, "not that I've really tried being one." She wasn't entirely sure when she had decided she didn't care for lounging around in the sun but apparently she had done just that at one point in her life. "Luckily there are some beaches not too far from here. So, you know, you can still enjoy that even if it isn't quite the same."

"Well, this is my second time around living here. I first moved here to do a PhD program ages ago. Finished that and worked elsewhere for a bit. Now I'm back." She looked down, almost embarrassed for sharing something that felt both meaningless and hugely important at the same time. "I guess you could say I liked the city enough to move right back."

As they sat down, Matt picked up the menu as well and looked over the pasta section of it. "Can't go wrong with a good pasta, right?" he gave a small nod and chose what he was going to eat before he looked up, putting the menu down to answer her questions.

"Honestly, I loved LA, yeah. The weather is great and living near the beach is not half bad." He chuckled. "And I loved my house there too. I never imagined moving back to the East Coast but a really big work opportunity came up so I was happy to take it." Matt trailed the edge of the menu with his fingers, lost in thought for a moment before he looked up again. "What about you? Why did you move to New York?"

Zahra nodded along as Violet spoke, delighted she seemed to be doing well. "That sounds great. God, I wish everyone had the chance to talk to someone like you. I am sure we would have much healthier, uh, encounters." She had certainly met her fair share of people who could've benefited from a little chat with an expert, herself included. Zahra groaned audibly as Violet asked about her work. She absolutely did not admit just how little she had achieved in the last few weeks, but there was no hiding just how frustrated she really was. "Not going well. I'm teaching a class in the fall, maybe that'll help. I don't know, I guess I'm just stuck."

"Oh definitely, it's much easier to meet up either individually or in small groups. I prefer it." She said, ordering a mimosa for herself. When in Rome after all. "I'm doing well, work is busy but rewarding. I made some really great breakthroughs with a client. I can't go into detail obviously but we managed to help her have a successful sexual encounter with her new boyfriend. It was really great." She explained, perusing the menu for a moment. "How are you? How's your work going? Or do you want to avoid that subject?"

Zahra nodded as they explained it was their first time at Joe's. It didn't seem like the bar had made a particularly good first impression, no matter how Zahra enjoyed its atmosphere. "I see. It's a fine place, really," she promised before finishing her first drink. "Oh, there's loads of good beer in the city. I guess places like these aren't particularly well-known for their excellent selection, though. You could try one of those specialty places."

Once Theo got both their whiskeys, they gave it a quick smell and swirled it around for a moment. "That's because it's my first time here. Cheers, mate." They said, clinking their glass with hers before taking a small sip of the warm liquid burning down their throat. It was good though, far better than the beer. "Can't go wrong with good ol' Jack-o here." Theo lifted the glass towards her and sipped again. "Haven't been in the city long, keep trying to find some decent beer."

"Ah, there we go. That's the attitude I was looking for," she laughed, relaxing considerably now that they were no longer talking about work. She could be fun, right? She had certainly once been. "Can't judge a place by just one dish, right? So better try a few. Besides, all of this looks way better than the bowl of cereal I had earmarked for my brunch." The amount of food options was one of the things she really loved about New York City, especially now that her creativity had ran dry and she couldn't bring herself to try anything new in the kitchen. "So, definitely the eggs and the pancakes. Anything else catches your eye?"

Violet snorted at Zahra's attitude, completely understanding. She was happy her school days were behind her, though she did miss having all those people to play with. Her eyes perused the menu again, before locking onto her friend's with glee. "Ooh, maybe they have a sampler or something? Like you can order 3 different things to try? That sounds like a great idea. But if not, I'm hungry enough to eat more than one thing. I just started a new exercise, so I'm starving."

If you're cold, he's cold; invite Count Dracula into your house

"I guess you're partially right. I just wish I had actually read these instead of just hauling them home and now bringing them right back." Obviously no one knew - or cared - that she hadn't even cracked open most of the books, but the shame was palpable nonetheless. The shame seemed to be her constant companion, increasingly so ever since her brain had decided it no longer wanted to partake in any additional reading or writing. The feeling only grew as she thought about future deadlines and word counts, the threat of falling behind making her sick to her stomach. "I am sure it's just a writer's block," she muttered, mostly to herself, before snorting in amusement. "See, I like where your head's at. I could smuggle Circe everywhere and become the ultimate cat lady."

A realisation lit up Zahra's face as Julia admitted she was only heading in. She laughed, shaking her head softly. "Ah, there you go. It's good to know some things don't change. Are you looking for anything in particular?"

Julia didn’t comment on her helping because if the roles were reversed the last thing she’d want was another person drilling down on how they’d had to lend a hand. Too many people took pride in their independence for her to risk saying the wrong thing. Instead she just gave her a small smile with an incline of her head, picking up the handle nearest to her. 

“I don’t know if this can be considered a walk of shame, I mean what part of being well read is meant to be shameful?” If that was the case then maybe she should just bury her head in the sand right now because she’d much rather spend time with a stack of books than another human most of the time. “Or you could get one of those ones that old people take to the grocery store, the old lady shopper bags. Then no one would even know what was in it.” A shrug of her shoulders as they headed into the library, realising that Zahra didn’t realise that she was arriving rather than leaving. “Oh you know me better than that, I’m on my way in to pick up a couple I’ve had set aside for me. Don’t worry - I’ve not been replaced by an alien.” Julia joked softly. @ofzahras

"But wouldn't that be a beautiful way to go? Being flattered to death. That being said, I would very prefer if you were to stay alive." While making friends had always been somewhat of a daunting task to her, Zahra valued the friendships she had immensely. Yes, she still struggled to open up and share, but that didn't mean she actually wanted to push people away. She was making a conscious effort and luckily Vismaya seemed to appreciate it.

The undeniably delicious smell of the pizza reminded Zahra that while seeing Vismaya was definitely her main priority, she was also quite eager to eat. Having come to realize she hadn't remembered to do a real grocery shop in days, she had raided her snack cupboard earlier in the day, but the pizza in front of her certainly seemed far more appealing than the Goldfish and trail mix she had inhaled. Her head snapped up as Vismaya informed she would paying be paying for the evening. "No way. Can't allow it," she replied with a firm shake of her head. Her father had taught her many important life skills, and somehow fighting over the bill was certainly at the top of the list. Admittedly he was far more creative, often faking toilet breaks in order to pay when others least expected it. "But if you insist, you will have to let me pay for the next two times we go out to eat or have drinks," she added, not wanting to draw out the conversation when they were about to have a good time. Not that Zahra was all that eager to talk about herself.

"I'm okay. Having kind of a writer's block," she admitted with a sheepish smile, "but I'm sure it'll pass. Has happened before." It was true, she had struggled with inspiration before, but somehow this time felt different, more final in a way. "Honestly, haven't been doing anything too exciting stuff since I moved back. But I'm happy to be properly back in New York." That was at least true. "How are you? Hopefully your life is more thrilling than my current existence."

Few people made the cut of occupying Vismaya's extremely limited free time as of late, and Zahra would always be one of those people. Though, Vismaya didn't entirely consider her own company a treasure as of late, feeling like she had formed a habit of monopolizing the conversation just to talk about workplace fusses and, as always, her mother. However, tonight, she wanted to truly catch up with her friend, as she thought of Zahra often and fondly, and had a vested interest in the girl's wellbeing. "Z, I swear you are going to flatter me to death one day. My blood will be on your hands. My beautiful, beautiful blood," Vis teased, her nose scrunching as she giggled at her own lame joke. "Pizza is always the perfect place to start. And it's damn good, too." At that, Vis gingerly placed one of the small ceramic plates in front of her friend, and then helped herself to another slice. "So, firstly, order whatever you want, tonight is on me, and I'll be having no arguments about that, so, shh. Secondly, please tell me how you've been doing. I know I saw you a few weeks ago, but it still feels like it's been a full calendar year."

Zahra noticed the way the man studied their surroundings and nodded as if agreeing. “It’s pretty impressive, isn’t it?” She had spent a good chunk of her life in libraries and the Main Branch of the New York Public Library was easily one of her favorites, even if her last few trips there had been less than fruitful. When she hadn’t been able to concentrate on her writing, Zahra had spent hours people-watching and wandering around the building, desperate for any sort of distraction.

An unintended yet quickly contained laughter escaped her as he described his sister. "I have to keep that in mind. Hopefully I won’t be needing any legal counsel anytime soon, but it's good to know there are options." She turned to glimpse at the books, a look of faint disgust spreading across her face. "I guess they are. Didn't read most of them, though. They're for work."

He grabbed the bag in his arms when he noticed it was about to hive out any moment now and followed her into the library. He hadn't been in here since he moved to the city and started working so he looked around the beautiful building for a moment as he walked. He almost bumped into her even. "I'm sorry." He left out a chuckle.

"Oh yeah, my sister is a nerd but hey, if you ever have some legal troubles she's amazing." He looked at the mountain of books in his arms and back at her. "Are all these yours? Someone's been busy."

[cis woman and she/her] Welcome to Aurora Bay, [ZAHRA HAMED]! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like [AIYSHA HART]. You must be the [THIRTY FIVE] year old [ASSISTANT PROFESSOR OF RELIGION]. Word is you’re [RESOURCEFUL] but can also be a bit [RESTLESS] and your favorite song is [MY GIRLFRIEND IS A WITCH BY OCTOBER COUNTRY]. I also heard you’ll be staying in [OCEAN CREST APARTMENTS]. I’m sure you’ll love it!

full name: zahra hamed

date of birth: 11 july 1989

gender & pronouns: cis woman, she/her

sexuality: bisexual & biromantic

family: mother, father

pets: a black cat called circe

occupation: assistant professor of religion @ aurora bay college

place of birth: st. cloud, minnesota

time in aurora bay: around a year

height: 5′10′’

hair colour & style: dark brown, wavy, a bit past her shoulders

eye colour: dark brown

tw: infertility, mentions of religion, smoking

despite her status as somewhat of a miracle child - her parents had already come to accept they wouldn’t be able to have children of their own due to a host of fertility issues - zahra grew up knowing a lot was expected of her. both of her parents had grown up with very little and had been able to use education as their way out of difficult home situations. she doesn’t resent her parents in the slightest, but sometimes wonders what her life would now look like if she been given just a bit more space and freedom to discover and make mistakes. still, she’s grateful for the drive her parents instilled in her as it has helped her to keep going even during times of distress. that being said, she has unfortunately picked up a host of rather unhealthy coping mechanisms for said stressful situations.

while the household didn’t necessarily seem all that outwardly pious to outsiders, religion was always a big part of the family dynamic and something that was discussed often and at great length, partly due to the interfaith nature of the family. zahra was a curious child and loved getting involved in these conversations, even when the concepts seemed far too complicated for her. she loved lingering in doorways when her parents had friends over, keen on sharing her opinions and the facts she had so meticulously taught herself.

she was a bright student. however, despite doing well academically, zahra often struggled with the social aspect of high school. she was kind of an awkwardly intense, gangly teen who spoke too little or far too much and couldn’t really figure out what her crowd was for quite a while. she eventually befriended a group of girls, some of whom she’s still in contact with to this day.

zahra moved to minneapolis at the age of 18 to attend university of minnesota. she went on to receive her bachelor’s degree in religious studies before completing her master’s in philosophy.

unwilling to give up studying just yet, she decided to pursue a doctorate degree, still unsure what she actually wanted to do in the future. she was accepted to princeton and later completed her phd in philosophy and religion.

while her life hasn’t always been easy or uncomplicated, it has been rather streamline. she has struggled and put in an enormous amount of hard work to get where she is now, but things have generally gone well for her. however, she has recently gone through something of a personal crisis and is really struggling to find her feet again. to put it simply, zahra has become wildly disillusioned with the academia and is suddenly really not sure she’s entirely happy with her choices in life.

she accepted a job at aurora bay college before coming to terms with the emotional and professional conflict she was having. she enjoys her job but is certainly very conflicted and is questioning whether or not she made the right decision.

zahra is bilingual and grew up speaking arabic with her father. she’s also fluent in french, can read german fairly well and studied hebrew, ancient greek and latin during her studies. her streak on duolingo is over two years long, but she doesn’t take it all that seriously. she just really likes mobile games and this one just happens to teach her languages, making it just a little more productive than candy crush.

an avid collector of all sorts of trinkets, zahra does not vibe with the minimalist aesthetic. her bedroom is full of knickknacks and keepsakes. she also collects books and dreams of being the sort of person who actually reads the books she buys. to be fair, she does read a lot, but it’s mostly stuff related to her research or the lectures she’s planning. all the new, exciting fiction books have gone unread for years. this fact has not slowed down her buying habits, though.

can be seen chain-smoking and cursing to herself at all hours of the day. when does she sleep? does she sleep? who knows.

some super vague connection ideas!

the stress has led to a lot of sleepless nights, resulting in her becoming a real night owl. she can be spotted frequenting places that are open late, and can be found chain-smoking and scrolling endlessly on social media. she would’ve undoubtedly run into some folks with similar schedules and habits.

any people with fun, interesting hobbies. after forming some sort of a connection, she would undoubtedly pester these individuals to teach her stuff. your girl needs to be distracted from her own thoughts.

zahra enjoys noisy music. so, a person willing to accompany her to gigs around the area. she’s happiest when it’s so loud she can’t hear anything at all.

friends/acquaintances/flings from minneapolis and/or princeton. would especially love to have some of her besties from high school.

people she has dated/hooked up with during her time in aurora bay.

she would have definitely been the sort of teen who had a pen pal. so, one of those would be super duper fun!

a neighbour who is trusted to watch her cat when she's busy or out of town!

"Not really. They had the best program and I got in. Made sense," she answered, flicking the ashes from her cigarette, "and I had already moved to North Carolina before that. Equally far from Minnesota. Although I guess Durham wasn't as wild as New York City." She shrugged at their question, carefully considering her answer. "I don't know. I guess it depends on what you mean by home. It's been, what, sixteen years since I've lived in the Midwest." She studied them for a moment, full brows knitted together. "You don't seem to be the biggest fan of the city. What brought you here?"

"Only if you don't share." Theo gave the other a playful smirk as they both walked in tandem through New York. "You came all the way here for uni then? That's bold." They said as they offered to lit her cigarette and then lit their own, making them stop walking for a moment. "What does feel more like home, here or your hometown?"

They both resumed their walk soon after their cigs were lit. It was a nice night in New York. Theo wasn't used to that type of heat yet but they didn't mind it all that much. They'll mind it less when they get that cold beer.