"Yeah, That's What I Was Thinking. It'd Be Way Easier Than Trying To Trick Her Into Her Carrier And Then

It was clear Zahra was itching to get out of the situation and forget all about it now that her breath had steadied and her arms didn't ache quite as much. He hadn't seem bothered to be helping her but she still felt embarrassed, her cheeks having turned a traitorous shade of red from more than just the physical activity.

"No need", she assured, shaking her head as she stood up hurriedly and pocketed her wallet with the library card in it. "I'll stop by to eat something." Zahra went to straighten her shirt before glancing at the man, managing a brief smile that didn't quite reach her dark eyes. "Thank you again. Uh, it was very nice of you."

Matt looked at the card in his hand and gave her a nod. "Zahra." he stated, slapping the card into his palm once. She didn't give him her name when he introduced himself but it was at least good to know it now. "I'll be right back then."

He smiled politely and picked the bag of books back up into his arms and disappeared further into the library, only to be back a few minutes later with a receipt and bottle of sweet lemonade he found on a vending machine. Matt offered it to her along with the card. "Take this for the road back."

"I guess you're partially right. I just wish I had actually read these instead of just hauling them home and now bringing them right back." Obviously no one knew - or cared - that she hadn't even cracked open most of the books, but the shame was palpable nonetheless. The shame seemed to be her constant companion, increasingly so ever since her brain had decided it no longer wanted to partake in any additional reading or writing. The feeling only grew as she thought about future deadlines and word counts, the threat of falling behind making her sick to her stomach. "I am sure it's just a writer's block," she muttered, mostly to herself, before snorting in amusement. "See, I like where your head's at. I could smuggle Circe everywhere and become the ultimate cat lady."

A realisation lit up Zahra's face as Julia admitted she was only heading in. She laughed, shaking her head softly. "Ah, there you go. It's good to know some things don't change. Are you looking for anything in particular?"

Julia didn’t comment on her helping because if the roles were reversed the last thing she’d want was another person drilling down on how they’d had to lend a hand. Too many people took pride in their independence for her to risk saying the wrong thing. Instead she just gave her a small smile with an incline of her head, picking up the handle nearest to her. 

“I don’t know if this can be considered a walk of shame, I mean what part of being well read is meant to be shameful?” If that was the case then maybe she should just bury her head in the sand right now because she’d much rather spend time with a stack of books than another human most of the time. “Or you could get one of those ones that old people take to the grocery store, the old lady shopper bags. Then no one would even know what was in it.” A shrug of her shoulders as they headed into the library, realising that Zahra didn’t realise that she was arriving rather than leaving. “Oh you know me better than that, I’m on my way in to pick up a couple I’ve had set aside for me. Don’t worry - I’ve not been replaced by an alien.” Julia joked softly. @ofzahras

my body is NOT. a “”temple””….it is a CLOWN CAR, and NONE OF THESE BITCHES KNOW HOW 2 DRIVE

Zahra glanced down at her feet, deeply embarrassed by the reality of her situation. "Kind of, if you can call me covering my fridge with the due date receipts a system. It has worked pretty well so far. It’s definitely not aesthetically pleasing in the slightest, but gets the job done.” Zahra wanted to be one of those well-organized Excel and spreadsheet type of people, but so far she hadn’t picked up the needed skillset, nor the motivation.

The rigidness in her voice had dissipated slightly, making her sound less defensive, leaving behind just the very obvious physical and mental exhaustion. Still, she seemed to pick up as Birdie described what she had been up to. “I mean yeah, that’s definitely work, but it at least sounds like you’re mostly enjoying it. That’s good.” Thank god she could already see the book drop and would soon be rid of her shameful cargo. “Have you found anything interesting? Could definitely use some recommendations.” While she had never played an instrument and could not say she was a particularly gifted singer, music had always been one of her dearest hobbies and one of the main reasons why she loved living in the city. "Oh? That sounds exciting."

Birdie didn't buy a word the other said, but she was willing to drop the subject. After all, she found out years and years ago that it was impossible to force any sort of change upon someone else, it was something they had to do themselves. "Right." She continued to make her way into the library with the other, "You must have one hell of an organizing system to make sure you don't catch a bunch of late fees for these things." If she checked out this many books at a time, she was liable to forget a good chunk of them and create a mess for herself in fees.

"Somewhat." She responded to the question. "Unfortunately, I haven't been able to take my own advice as of late. I've been spending a lot of my off time looking into some of the local bands for some new stuff for the station, which might bring about some fun, but is still technically work." That part was hard to set down with the incredible music scene in the city. "Who knows, maybe I'll go to that Devil's Night coming up at the She Shed for non-work related fun."

"Not all of them, no. I guess I bit off more than I could chew. Thought I would save myself a few library trips, you know. Didn't really think what would happen when I had to return all of them." She had always been bit of a book hoarder, most comfortable when she knew the information she might need was within arm's reach, but she had previously also been able to take pride in being a fast, motivated reader with the ability to get lost in text even if she wasn't particularly interested in the subject. She had tried to get back to that routine, often re-reading books or research papers she had already deemed fascinating in one way or another, but the results had been less than satisfactory. She knew talking about it with someone might ease the shame, but unfortuntaly Zahra had never great at that. Still, she appreciated this little chat with Julia, especially since it allowed her to gush about her beloved cat. "I have to admit if I already got a cat stroller for her but I am still trying to figure out if I'm confident enough to take it out for a spin. Might garner some weird looks."

Her head tilted to the side as Julia explained what she was looking for. "Oh? I see. I'm not doing anything at the moment if you need help finding some books," she offered, hopeful to pass a few minutes with a clear goal in mind. "It sounds interesting. I'm sure you'll do great."

“You didn’t read them?” Julia had a surprised look on her face but she really shouldn’t be because that was the pot very much calling the kettle black. The amount of books she’d borrowed from libraries in the past but not even opened was numerous, and it wasn’t because she didn’t have good intentions when she got them. Simply that life tended to get in the way, especially if they were fiction books rather than something attributed to medicine or something she was specifically working on. Sensing the uncertainty coming from her she nodded in agreement instead of prying further, giving the other a small smile. “I’m sure - I head that is quite common among writers.” She doubted parroting that would be of any reassurance but it happened anyway. “Would you look at that, I think we’ve decided what your next purchase is going to be. Some call it a grocery bag, you call it a Circe bag. It’s flexible for ones needs.” 

A shrug of her shoulders in regards to what she was specifically looking for, pressing her lips together silently for a second. “There is a case I’m working on at the moment is a child with Adrenoleukodystrophy, it’s not something I’ve personally worked with before so although I know the facts from medical school I wanted to come and do some more reading on it incase there is anything I’ve missed. Are you staying a while?” She asked, referring to the library. @ofzahras

please stop asking me how i'm doing, idk i'm ignoring it

"It does sound nice, and I'm glad you liked it. I don't think I'm much of a beach person myself," she admitted with a shrug, "not that I've really tried being one." She wasn't entirely sure when she had decided she didn't care for lounging around in the sun but apparently she had done just that at one point in her life. "Luckily there are some beaches not too far from here. So, you know, you can still enjoy that even if it isn't quite the same."

"Well, this is my second time around living here. I first moved here to do a PhD program ages ago. Finished that and worked elsewhere for a bit. Now I'm back." She looked down, almost embarrassed for sharing something that felt both meaningless and hugely important at the same time. "I guess you could say I liked the city enough to move right back."

As they sat down, Matt picked up the menu as well and looked over the pasta section of it. "Can't go wrong with a good pasta, right?" he gave a small nod and chose what he was going to eat before he looked up, putting the menu down to answer her questions.

"Honestly, I loved LA, yeah. The weather is great and living near the beach is not half bad." He chuckled. "And I loved my house there too. I never imagined moving back to the East Coast but a really big work opportunity came up so I was happy to take it." Matt trailed the edge of the menu with his fingers, lost in thought for a moment before he looked up again. "What about you? Why did you move to New York?"

cracking open a cold one with the girls except it’s my icy heart and they’re teaching me how to love again

Zahra was glad Matt seemed to be comfortable with keeping the conversation flowing, meaning she could take a backseat and concentrate on listening. It suited her just fine. She could remember her first few weeks in the city, how exciting and big it had felt. She had worn down her very favorite pair of shoes with the amount of walking she had done, completely in awe of her new home. "Those are still good places to visit. Although I guess the glitz and glamour wears off eventually." She glanced at him quickly. "What do you plan on doing now that you live here?"

"Oh..." Matt brought his fingers to his own lips and closed them with an imaginary zip. "You got it." He smiled kindly and started walking out of the library towards the hot outside. "That's all I know about New York, places to eat." He chuckled. "Whenever we visited with my family, all we did was go out to eat and visit all the parks and museums and... well, libraries." He gestured behind them. "But the tourist life is behind me now."

"Let's try taking one handle each. I think the bag will hold, it has so far." Obviously that didn't necessarily mean anything, but going through the books and putting them in the other woman's backpack seemed like an impossible ordeal after the journey she had taken. "And it's only few more feet. Should be fine." The amount of library trips she had taken had at least taught her to prepare; far too much of her modest storage space had been dedicated to different types of bags, the small ones stuffed inside the larger ones just like her mother had done with the trash bags under the sink. "Not sure why I picked what feels like the hottest day of the year for this trip, though."

"aaaalright. Come on, then," Isabelle's now on her feet, striding toward Zahra with an air of someone who has just been graciously faced with a challenge. She's not excessively strong, but what she is, is stubborn and bored out of her mind, and the poor woman looks like she's two breaths away from passing out in fucking 300 degrees. “Okay... how about I pick up the right handle and you, the left, or- mmm. We could like maybe put half of these in my backpack? Carry half-and-half.” She has a strawberry-pink backpack on her back that matches the floral designs in her vintage vans. She places her hands on her hips and eyes the bag thoughtfully.