The Addams Family (1991)

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8 months ago

Break of Dawn: Chapter 1 (Astarion x Tiefling! Tav)

A/N: Ahhhh okay first ever fic posted here. Yes, it's 5k words. I only somewhat promise future chapters won't be so long, but idk we'll see. This is a fic idea I've had bouncing around for awhile and I've finally gotten around to writing it! My inbox is always open for feedback, especially if you notice any weird formatting errors since I'm not super familiar with tumblr's layout yet. I hope you all enjoy the first chapter of my special little baby :)

Summary: Tav, a cleric of Lathander, finds herself as the unfortunate recipient of a mindflayer tadpole with limited time to cure herself. She finds help in a group of fellow infected and mildly insane individuals, including a vampire who takes every opportunity to drive her up the wall. A vampire she's totally not falling in love with. Between cults, the literal gods of death, and the looming threat of turning into a mindflayer, Tav has to navigate both the end of the world and her increasingly complicated feelings for a creature she's pretty sure she's sworn to kill.

What could possibly go wrong?

Warnings: None in this chapter I don't think? But expect a lot of smut, trauma, and canon-typical violence down the line.

Dividers from @saradika

Break Of Dawn: Chapter 1 (Astarion X Tiefling! Tav)

It was the headache that woke her. The pounding, throbbing pain in the front of her skull that threatened to seep into her veins and drain her strength. Tav shook her head, attempting to clear the dull ache, but only succeeded in making herself exceptionally dizzy. She was upright, that much she could tell, but it didn’t feel like she was propped against a wall or a bedpost. The surface against her back felt oddly…wet? Fleshy, almost. Tav could feel her horns scraping into something unsettlingly soft. Gods above, she hoped she wasn’t in a bathroom. That would be a new low for her, waking up in some muggy stall with who-knows-what seeping into her clothes. Every twitch of her fingers and toes brought a new wave of subtle nausea into her bones.

Where was she?

The last thing Tav remembered was the ratty pub in Daggerford, stuffed elbow-to-elbow with farmers so drunk they couldn’t even bring themselves to care about the strange tiefling in their midst nursing a bottle of the sourest wine this side of the Dalelands. The clerics at the Morninglow Tower, the only Lathandarian monastery in the area and her main reason for stopping in Daggerford in the first place, had assured her that the Happy Cow was the best inn the city had to offer, but if her frazzled mind could remember anything, it was the swill in her glass and the grouchy halfling behind the bar.

Why was she in Daggerford again?

The more Tav sat, trying to remember and simultaneously suppress the urge to vomit, the more the details came back to her. A summons to Baldur’s Gate, one that had been dispatched to the Dawnmaster of her monastery from a group of Selunites just outside of Rivington. Something about an increase in activity from a suspected group of Sharrans nestled within the Gate, a fear that the fanatics of the Nightsinger were planning something. A cry for help to any nearby allies of the Moonmaiden, a cry that reached as far north as Waterdeep, just for insurance in the event of an open conflict. Her Dawnmaster had selected her and only her to make the long journey south. Handpicked amongst hundreds to go alone to the Gate with little explanation why. A test of faith, she was told, despite her record of loyalty to Lathander. It was that loyalty that drove her to leave the safety of the Spires and go anyways, that made her push past the doubt, with little more than a traveler’s pack and questions about what exactly she was getting into.

Tav’s eyes were blurry when she opened them and she barely got a moment to assess the thick glass panel in front of her before it lifted away suddenly. She had a heartbeat to throw her arms out to catch her fall, though it did little to stop the shock and pain arching from her head down to the tip of her tail. She laid there on the ground, in a heap, trying to catch her breath, and was able to string enough of a thought together to realize it was probably the least dignified position she had ever been in.

Morninglord, help her.

Tav pushed herself onto her elbows and gave her surroundings a gander. The room was large and domed, with arcing metal ribs supporting the ceiling. Or what was left of it. Because, as she quickly realized from both the heat and her clearing vision, the room was positively ablaze. A shudder ran down her spine as she attempted to make out details past the gray smoke. Her scars prickled, and she had to double check to make sure she wasn’t on fire.

More memories. The thick air in the tavern, sweaty arms and faces and hands intruding into her personal space. The foul wine in her throat. The need to fill her lungs with something that wasn’t flavored with dwarf musk. Cool night air against her skin when she’d stumbled out of the pub, pulling her robes against her body, the breeze filling her chest. Flashes of suspicious looks from the locals on the streets, like she was a proper devil and not just a tiefling. Another breath in her lungs, soothing the burn that the tavern air had left on her throat.

Then there was screaming.

Quick, high-pitched. A moment to spin and try and assess the situation. Something black, blacker than the night sky, against the horizon, moving towards the city. A writhe of tentacles against the stars, a prayer to Lathander to lend her strength for what was to come, and then…nothing. She remembered heat against her skin, light against her eyes, and now she was laying in a burning room with the biggest headache of her life.

Had her drink been spiked?

No, because now she remembers the mindflayers. Great ugly beasts looming outside the pod she’d just faceplanted out of. A bit of green skin a few pods down from hers, something small and pulsating in one of the illithid’s taloned hands. Then, the mindflayer rounding on her, holding up a wriggling worm with a circular mouth and too many teeth. She remembers the terror and the pain as the larva was held up to her eye. The ache as it found its target and slithered its way into her skull.

She took her studies at the monastery seriously. Lathander valued a sharp mind, and while he mostly called his followers to hunt undead monstrosities, she made it a point to familiarize herself with all manner of beasts and devils. Mindflayers were a rare threat, mostly occupying themselves with the Outer Planes in their eternal grapple against the gith, but they were important enough for the temple library to have a whole section dedicated to illithid and their ilk. She knew what had happened—what the squirming tadpole pushing into her brain meant about her current condition—and she knew her days were now decidedly numbered.

There was a pulse inside her head, a wriggle behind her eye, and Tav wished it had just been vampires instead. At least then the silver dust in her pocket and the holy water against her hip would have done her some good. With a groan, she rose to her feet, careful to keep her tail above the hot metal floor, and stumbled past the burning remains of the room around her, unhooking her mace from her back as she did. She noticed a few splayed mindflayer corpses, tentacles like wet pipes against her ankles as she slipped past, and wondered again what had caused the destruction. Tav was almost certain she was either in one of their colonies or on a ship, and the thought occurred to her that it was entirely likely she had been sucked into the middle of the war between the illithids and the gith. It was simply a question of which subset of the gith population she would potentially have to deal with in an escape. Githzerai were dangerous but reasonable and could maybe be swayed to help if Tav proved she was no threat. The githyanki were a different story, and she hoped she wasn’t bearing witness to one of their raiding parties, but she got the sneaking suspicion that her luck was poor on that front. Their red dragons would certainly explain the fire.

The next room was in less disarray, the flames having smoldered out to leave ash in their wake, and Tav noticed a large tear in the far wall, framed by daylight streaming in from the outside. Her heart leapt at her sign of freedom, but an uneasy shiver went through her at the sight of the tables lining the walls, topped by corpses. She gritted her teeth and sent a silent prayer to the less fortunate of the mindflayers’ abductees, followed by a reassurance to herself that she would not be joining them. On her way towards the makeshift exit, she bent and rummaged through the robes of a fallen mindflayer, gathering the assorted coins and gemstones she found, and hoped the souls of the victims appreciated her pettiness towards their killers.

As she straightened up to continue forward, the sound of something skittering, not unlike a rat inside a wall, drew her attention. Tav watched as a trio of creatures resembling brains on four legs pushed past a fallen piece of metal and scurried back the way she had come. She recognized them as intellect devourers, aberrations that served in the collective illithid hivemind. Her eyes followed the creatures as they left and couldn’t decide if she was more surprised or grateful that they hadn’t noticed her. Tav simply shook her head, deciding it didn’t matter, and made her way towards the exit.

The hope that had sprung in her heart at the chance of escape was squashed, however, when Tav managed to push through the wreckage and make her way to the gap in the ship’s hull. It became clear that, although there was heat radiating into the room from the opening, it did not come from a familiar sun. Instead, Tav saw only a scarlet horizon, the ground rushing past far below, and swarms of winged imps and devils thrashing in the air. There was a tingle down her spine, like her infernal heritage recognized the bloody skies of the Hells, and Tav cursed her increasingly sour luck. Of all the places she could have wound up, Baator would not have been high on her list. What she had done to get so far off track from her mission, Lathander only knew.

Tav was starting to wonder how she was ever going to escape the Hells and a burning illithid ship—because it had to be a ship, given how far she was off the ground and the speed at which they were moving—when she watched as, from underneath the vessel, a flash of crimson cut against the sky. A red dragon, flames billowing from its gaping jaws, curved against the shape of the aircraft, directed by the speck of a gith rider against its back. In her shock, she nearly dropped her mace—not helped by her sweaty palms—and Tav held her empty hand up to block the burn of the fire when the beast let loose a column of flame to beat back a horde of devils swarming the ship. She knew for a fact now that this had to be a githyanki raiding party, tracking an illithid vessel across the planes atop the backs of their red dragons. Tav was just unlucky enough to be caught in the middle with an unwelcome stowaway tagging along for the ride.

Before Tav could come up with a plan to escape the current predicament, an arc of silver crested over her head as a figure leapt from above, and she suddenly found herself face to face with a gith woman, dark hair and green skin made even more sharp against the red sky, covered in ash from head to toe. And while Tav only knew of the githyanki from her studies, she did not need books to identify the rage in the woman’s eyes and the greatsword the gith was pointing at her throat.

“Abomination,” the woman growled, leveling her blade until the tip was grazing the dip between Tav’s collarbones. “This is your end!"

Tav was just raising her hands to explain as fast as she could that she posed the warrior no threat when a sudden discomfort split her skull, almost like it was emanating outwards from the tadpole lodged in her brain. Tav did not recall closing her eyes, but it was like she was now in a dream, or recalling some distant memory that was not her own, as she watched the scales of a red dragon undulate over solid muscle, the glint of sunlight off a silver sword. Her ears were filled with the sound of clanging steel, her shoulders dipped beneath the weight of heavy armor. As quick as they came, the visions dissipated, and Tav blinked away the fogginess to see the gith woman clutching her skull, and Tav realized with a jolt that she had just taken a peek inside the woman’s mind, witnessed her memories, which likely meant the connection had been two way. The soldier drew her brows as she shook her head against an apparent pain, before looking up and meeting Tav’s gaze again.

“What…what is this?” she hissed, more to herself than to Tav. A dozen emotions crossed the gith’s face—confusion, discomfort, anger—before settling on what Tav hoped was happiness. “You are no thrall,” the warrior said. Tav watched as, thankfully, the woman lowered her blade and sheathed it against her back. “Vlaakith blesses me this day!”

Tav kept her hands raised, ready to channel Lathander’s dawn if needed, but took a cautious step towards the gith as she said, “A thrall? Like a mindflayer’s servant?”

One of the gith’s eyebrows raised, clearly surprised Tav was at least familiar with illithid.

“The very same. We are fortunate we retain our senses.”

“But I’m infected,” Tav said, and she suddenly remembered the look she’d gotten from inside her pod. Green skin a few spaces down and a flash of dark hair. She realized it must’ve been the woman before her that had been imprisoned, as well. Tav drew her brows together. “And so are you, aren’t you? Given that look I just got inside your head.”

The gith scoffed and tossed her hair over her shoulder. She started to turn like she intended to walk away.

“Yes, we both carry ghaik tadpoles. But for now, we have our wits, and I intend to keep them.” She glanced over, eyes trailing up and down Tav’s figure, before continuing. “You are a cleric, yes? An experienced one, from what your memories told me. You may have your uses. Come, we must make haste to the helm.”

The gith did not wait for a reply as she began to walk away. Tav stood, slightly dumbfounded, and watched the gith make confident strides down the wrecked platform they stood on.

“Wait!” she called when her brain finally caught up with what was going on. The gith stopped and turned, irritation spiking her gaze when she saw that Tav had not moved. “That’s it, then? We just team up and move on like we weren't in each other's minds?"

The warrior huffed, saying something in her language under her breath.

“What just happened to us will not matter if we die on this ship. I intend to escape and make my way back to my people. Your best hope of survival is to follow me. Unless your god commands you to burn to a crisp here?”

Deep in the Hells, Tav’s connection to Lathander was flimsy, but she could hazard a guess that he did not, in fact, want her to die here. And for as much as she would love to not owe her life to a bloodthirsty githyanki, Tav had enough common sense to know her options were slim at best. So, with a huff, she tightened her grip on her mace and followed the gith.

“I’m Tav, by the way,” she called up to the woman. She received no response. Tav sighed. “Nice to meet you, too.”

The next room crawled with around half a dozen invading imps, the tiny beasts gnawing at the corpses of both illithid and the poor souls that had been abducted, but their attention was quickly drawn when Tav and the gith made their way in. Tav had barely blinked before the warrior had notched an arrow into her longbow and sent it flying into the neck of one of the imps, and Tav managed to eliminate another with a burst of holy flame from the tips of her fingers. The remaining imps screeched and began to flap towards them, but failed to do any damage before the two of them brought them down with a mix of arrows, steel, and magic.

“You are quite adequate in battle,” the gith remarked as she pulled her arrows from the twisted corpses. “Perhaps our odds are not so poor.”

Tav bent to collect a crossbow from one of the imps, figuring a ranged weapon would come in handy, and replied, “You aren’t too bad yourself.” What was meant to be a compliment was clearly received differently when the gith’s expression somehow got sourer, her eyes squinting in a harsh glare.

“I am githyanki. If you think I cannot handle imps, then you are more uneducated than I thought.”

Tav opened and closed her mouth, attempting to stutter out that she had meant no offence, but the gith had already moved on to the next room. With a sigh, Tav followed, wishing more than ever it had just been vampires instead.

By the time Tav caught up to the soldier, the woman had nearly spanned the entire length of the room, which Tav noticed was empty save from a ring of what looked to be stretchers in the center, each holding an unresponsive body, and a pod against the far wall. Upon closer inspection, Tav’s heart dropped when she realized there was someone inside. She jogged up to the prisoner and saw the vague features of a woman inside banging against the glass.

“Hey!” the woman yelled, fingers clawing at the walls of her prison. “Hey, get me out of here!"

“Don’t worry,” Tav replied as she began to look over the pod for any sort of latch that might open it, “I’m not leaving you behind.” She turned to look at the gith, who was already at the far end of the room. “Help me out here!” she called.

The gith turned, her eyes narrowing when she saw what Tav was doing.

“I do not intend to stop for every prisoner we come across. We must reach the helm if we hope to escape.” Tav scowled.

“The more help, the better,” she responded. “I’m not abandoning anyone.”

The gith scoffed and said something in a language Tav did not know and walked back over to where she was now pouring over the panel next to the pod.

“Do you truly mean to die for a stranger?” the gith growled. Tav ran her hands over the console, picking at the depths of her memories to recall any illithid sigils she might know.

“Nobody is dying today,” Tav said. With a huff, she resigned herself to the fact that she was a poor student of illithid script and had no clue what any of the symbols meant. She thought about asking the gith, but already knew the soldier would likely be no help. Tav felt the humming of magic around the console, and she winced when the tadpole in her brain seemed to squirm in response. That caused a thought to pop into her head, and she focused her mental energy on the worm. If anything could help her understand the mindflayers’ language, it was one of their young.

It was like grabbing a fish in a river the way the tadpole slipped about her mind’s grasp, but at last she got a hold on the parasite and forced it to yield. With what felt like a click inside her mind, the tadpole obeyed, and the console in front of her roared to life. Tav’s next thought was how she was supposed to use the panel to open the pod, but it was like the mere idea itself made the console obey, and the pod suddenly snapped open. Tav had just enough time to step in front and catch the woman inside before she had a similar landing against the floor like Tav experienced earlier.

The pair stumbled, but Tav helped the woman right herself. She was taller, with dark hair braided down her back and deep green eyes framed by a scar across the bridge of her nose beneath a blunt fringe. Tav noticed the tips of pointed ears poking from her hair, but the woman did not have the typical angular features of a full elf, meaning she must only be half elven. Her silver armor was covered in soot, but it was clear that beneath the dirt her plate was well cared for.

Tav lifted her arms and let the woman step back. The half-elf shook her head, black hair swinging about her face as she raised a hand to her forehead.

“Thank you,” she said. “I thought that damned thing was going to be my coffin."

Tav only had time for a nod before a now-familiar pain burst behind Tav’s eyes, and once again she found herself in someone else’s brain. Unlike the gith, the half-elf’s memories were like murky water, swirling around inside her mind without any clear features. The only thing Tav picked up on with clarity was a spark of suspicion—aimed at the gith standing beside her. Just as quick as their minds linked, the connection snapped.

The half-elf drew her brows together, confusion marring her features.

“It’s the tadpole,” Tav said before the woman could voice her obvious question. “You’re infected with one, same as we are.” She gestured to the gith, who did not even look remotely happy at the turn of events. “They let our minds connect.”

“Yes, that much is obvious,” the half-elf replied. Her gaze turned to the gith, and her expression pinched to match the anger on the warrior’s face. “I was not aware Lathander’s clerics kept such strange company."

Tav’s immediate question—how did the woman know she worshipped the Morninglord? —was squashed before she embarrassed herself. The woman had just been inside her head and Tav’s faith was the most important thing she kept in there. Obviously a peek in her skull would show that. Instead, Tav shrugged.

“Strange times require strange company. Besides, we’ll have to fight our way off this ship and an extra sword is always good.” The half-elf raised an eyebrow, but her shoulders relaxed slightly.

“I suppose you have a point there.” She turned to look at Tav. “I’m Shadowheart. And you are?"

Tav grinned at the novelty of knowing at least one of her companion’s names.

“Tav. It’s a pleasure.”

The gith suddenly scoffed.

“Are we done with pleasantries? The longer we dawdle the slimmer our chances of escape become.” She didn’t wait for an answer before she made her way back towards the exit.

Shadowheart glared at the gith’s back but said, “She’s right. Lead the way.”

They began to follow where the gith had gone, but Shadowheart suddenly stopped at gripped at her sides like she was feeling for something. She turned back, and Tav watched as she rummaged about inside her pod before pulling something small out and tucking it into one of her pockets, but it was too dark for her to get a good look.

“Everything okay?” Tav asked. Shadowheart laughed dryly.

“I’m trapped on a mindflayer ship with a parasite in my head surrounded by devils and burning wreckage.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder and began walking towards the exit the gith had already pushed through. “I’m having the time of my life."

Tav couldn’t help but chuckle and followed close behind.

The two found the gith standing in front of a closed door, the fleshy material that seemed to line the whole ship pulled into a pinwheel. The soldier turned when they entered and rested a hand on her sword.

“The helm should be beyond this door. Once inside, do as I say.”

Shadowheart’s expression darkened. “Who put you in charge?” she snapped. The gith looked like she was about to bite back, so Tav stepped between the two and held out her hands.

“Now is not the time for arguing. What’s important is that we make it off this ship.” She turned to Shadowheart. “I don’t like it, either, but githyanki are experts on mindflayers. If she says this is how we get out, it’s in our best interests to cooperate.”

“For an istik,” the gith said through a self-satisfied smile, “you are surprisingly competent.”

Tav blinked. “Thank you?”

Shadowheart huffed and shoved past them both. “Let’s just get this over with.”

Tav had hoped that the only thing that stood between them and freedom would be another swarm of imps, but as they entered the helm of the ship, she was instead immediately reminded that they were still in an active warzone. Mindflayers and devils clashed, tentacles and wings thrashing as each side tried to gain an advantage over the other. Imps and hellboars batted hoards of intellect devourers back, all while the flames licking against the walls climbed higher and higher.

Tav watched as one of the mindflayers wrapped its tentacles around the head of a cambion soldier, and blood sprayed when the illithid dug its teeth into the devil. The creature let the fiend drop and suddenly turned to face them. From the corner of her eye, she watched Shadowheart and the gith ready their weapons, but all three flinched when their tadpoles wriggled about as a voice not belonging to any of them ripped into their heads.

“Thralls,” the voice boomed, sounding like it came from everywhere around them, “connect the transponders. Take control of the ship.”

Tav watched the mindflayer raise one long-fingered hand and pointed to the front of the room, where a tangled mass of blue tentacles squirmed over a console similar to the one that had opened Shadowheart’s pod. With a jolt, she realized it was the illithid speaking to them, giving orders through the tadpole.

The gith grunted and raised her sword. “Do as it says. While it thinks we are under its control, we have a chance at escape.”

“It won’t be easy getting to that console,” Shadowheart said. “We’ll need to be—"

She was cut off suddenly as the gith surged forward, sword arcing downwards through a pair of imps that had swarmed an intellect devourer. They watched as the soldier pushed through the fiends before her, grappling with devils like it was nothing.

“—careful,” Shadowheart finished. She turned and looked at Tav, giving a slight shrug as she said, “Guess we follow her, then?”

Tav mirrored her shrug, and they followed the gith into the fray.

It was tough work pushing to the back of the room. For every imp or cambion that fell from a burst of holy radiance, another devil entered her vision with a raised sword. If it hadn’t been for well-timed arrows from the gith or Shadowheart’s own divine fire, Tav was certain her fortunes would’ve gone sour. In the back of her mind, she made a note to ask who Shadowheart’s patron was. Tav recognized the work of another cleric but couldn’t put her finger on the origin of her magic. It wasn’t the holy fervor her own Lathanderian magic possessed, and wasn’t familiar like the magic of Selunites she’d met in the past, but she figured, so long as it was keeping devils off her back, whichever god was fueling Shadowheart’s spells had Tav’s thanks.

Tav didn’t know how long they had been fending off Avernus’s forces before she looked up and saw an opening. The gith had felled a cambion that had been blocking the way to the helm, but her attention had been diverted by a pair of hellboars. Tav took her chance and broke into a sprint, narrowly dodging the body of a mindflayer that was thrown her way by a cambion before Shadowheart brought it down with a bolt of sickly green necrotic magic. Tav only had a moment to ponder over that—perhaps she was a cleric of Kelemvor? —as she slid to a halt in front of the console.

She let the tadpole guide her hands, following its instincts on which tentacles to grab, but a sudden blast of heat above her drew her attention away. Tav looked up to find the gaze of a great red dragon, its head having pushed past a gap in the ship’s roof. Distantly, she heard the gith yell something, but Tav couldn’t make out the words as she ducked to avoid another column of fire. Her scars prickled against the flames, and she had to push down the hint of panic and rely on her infernal heritage to keep her skin safe from the fire.

The ship suddenly tilted, and Tav’s feet fell from under her as her balance shifted with the new angle. She watched the dragon retreat and forced herself back up, but only had a moment to right herself when another great shudder passed through the ship. As fast as she could, Tav brought together two spindly tentacles. The parasite squirmed about her brain, and she watched through the windows as Avernus’s skyline blurred. She blinked, and where the hellfire had once been there were now stars. She realized they had to be back in the Material Plane, but still very high above ground.

“Again!” she heard the gith yell.

Tav looked over her shoulder to see the soldier now grappling with the mindflayer that had given them orders earlier. Shadowheart was closer to the middle of the room standing off against a trio of imps and a cambion. She met the gith’s eyes and the warrior yelled something about taking control of the ship, but the words were lost in the roil of combat. Tav didn’t need the details, though: she knew they were in a losing fight and were running out of time. So, with a prayer to Lathander she hoped he could hear, she grasped the tentacles again and brought them back together.

The vessel shuddered again, and Tav lost her grip as the whole ship seemed to invert on itself. Her feet scrambled for purchase but did little good, and she could do nothing but gasp when the room went sideways. In a heartbeat she was suddenly against the far wall, then falling forwards again. She watched the metal siding of the ship splinter and tumble away and she knew that while they may no longer be crashing in the Hells, they were still crashing regardless.

Another yank of gravity and Tav was scrambling for purchase against the floor. She slid back the way she’d come, towards the nose of the ship, and she caught a glimpse of Shadowheart falling through a new hole in the side of the craft. Tav didn’t even have the energy to call out. She could only hope Shadowheart’s god was kind enough to spare her from the fall.

The ship tilted, and Tav realized with a lurch that she was now sliding towards the same gap that Shadowheart had just been flung out of. She only had a moment to grasp the jagged wall to avoid a similar tumble. The wind lashed against her cheeks, sending her hair flying about her face, and it was through the strands that she met the gaze of a mindflayer, slumped against the opposite side of the gash and holding its side. Its eyes were cold and unblinking, and Tav got the distinct sensation of something prodding against the back of her head, but the feeling broke when a piece of debris suddenly hit the side of her skull. It was so abrupt that Tav had no time to regain her slack grip, and before she knew it she felt the wind now pummeling her from all angles.

It took an embarrassing amount of time for her to realize that she was falling. With how her luck had been, Tav wasn’t even surprised. She could only hope that, when she inevitably met the ground, Lathander would spare her a bit of good fortune and keep her from breaking her neck.

Her last thought before things went white was that she really, really just wished it had been vampires instead.