Part 2 In The Works 👀👀

Look at me with your special eyes 🫣🫠🥰🥰

Sick. So fucking sick OUGH

THE SWEETNESS

#cavityfromthesweet

A Promise Over All Else

Ao'nung x Reader [Word count: 5.8k]

All characters are aged-up to 18!! (okay not all, but-)

Warnings: Ao’nung being a jerk, mentions of death, bullying, smooching 

“If we do not find someone worthy of being our mates, we’ll mate each other,” Ao’nung scoffed as you muttered a promise, seemingly frustrated by the idea of being one with you.  An innocent declaration that none of the two of you expected to be rekindled in due time.

You have known the children of the Metkayina clan’s olo'eyktan and tsahik for as long as you can remember, being in close age with the two.  The idea of being playmates struck your parents after seeing the two of you, along with Tsireya and Rotxo.  The two of you were inseparable as young na’vi, having learned to breathe, swim, weave and heal collectively, and however intolerable the idea is to you right now, it has always been you and Ao’nung who get paired up with each other in various chores.  As you grew up however, Ao’nung’s attitude towards your peers have also gone into a drastic change, as if he was above everyone, developing a penchant for sneering at every na’vi that approaches the two of you.  You, on the other hand, thought of every na’vi you interact with as equals, being of no noble position as him.  This very reason caused a rift between your companionship, forming your respective circles, frequent greetings turning into brief glances and side eyes, only communicating when training or when you are tasked with healing him.  However, you understood the growing distance between the two of you, as you had different interests and responsibilities.  The arrival of Jake Sully and his family was the one responsible for both rekindling and downfall of your relationship.  An unwanted occurrence by most of the village percentile although your life would not be the same if it were not for them.

It was a bright day when the former olo’eyktan of the Omatikaya tribe had sought sanctuary in Awa’atlu.  You and Tsireya were tasked with weaving nets when a ginormous silhouette of flying creatures flew over you, earning a worried glance from Tsireya.  Your heart sped up at the thought of sky people discovering an obsession towards your village, you immediately clicked your tongue and called for your ilu, Or’ma.  Cautious at the arrival of the ikrans, you dove with your ilu to approach the shores, noticing other villagers approach the forest na’vi, some hissing with threat.  Peering from the waters, you spotted familiar faces, deciding to detach yourself from the ilu and see what the commotion is all about.  A bunch of tsurak accompanied by warriors resurfaced from the waters, that flew above the people, signaling that the olo’eyktan had arrived to take care of the matters.  Gulping at the building anxiety, you looked for immediate safety, finding Ao’nung’s wary stance, stalking behind the ikran, searching for any danger.  Having a glance around you once more, you gave up finding your parents and ran towards Ao’nung, gripping his left arm for protection.  

Landing on the sand, the new faces earned hisses from all around them, causing the tallest figure to raise his hands as if he was surrendering, followed by his family.  You peeked a glance at the ikran, gasping in amazement at their strong wings, wincing in fright when you met a particular na’vi’s eyes, ducking your head behind Ao’nung’s larger frame, forcing him to shield you with the arm you were gripping, puffing his chest with a threatening gaze at the eldest son of Jake Sully.  Rotxo snickered at the size of their tails, “It is too small, how are they supposed to swim?”, he laughed, earning a chuckle from Ao’nung and a swat on the hand from Tsireya.  “Do not. Rotxo, Ao’nung” she scolded, her eyes widening as a warning.  Your furrowed eyebrows did not help the smile of reassurance directed to your friend.  A glare from one of the Omatikayan siblings made you more nervous, squeezing Ao’nung’s arm as your ears flattened down in panic.  

As far as you know, you did not do anything to anger the female na’vi, so why was she rolling her eyes at you?

“Mawey, (y/n), mawey,” Ao’nung whispered, backing up when his father walked to the center of the crowd to address the problem at hand.  You frowned at the words being exchanged, realizing how crucial it must be for their family to be let in, as they were in need of hiding from the sky people.  Asking for uturu is no childsplay, considering that it is still the village leaders’ decision if they would be letting in those who asked for sanctuary.  

Ronal went through them one by one, analyzing what use they could be of in the reef, having no physical trait to aid them in swimming.  Hisses were let out when she raised one of the na’vi’s hands, having an extra finger to it, a sign that they have demon blood flowing in them.  

“They are not even real na’vi!” she exclaimed, holding up the girl’s hands, one extra finger on display.

The girl whom you found glaring at you refuted, “Yes, we are!”  You winced at the confused dread you sensed in her voice, finding it in yourself to sympathize with her.  Being close to the chief’s children meant that you hang out with either or both of them often.  You were witness to Ao’nung’s condescending demeanor, and have made aware of how painful his words are.  Something that he must have inherited from his mother, Ronal.  

Countless thoughts filled your mind, only subsiding when you heard Tonowari’s decision, “Toruk Makto, and his family will stay with us,” the faces of the forest na’vi lightened up, “Treat them as our brothers and sisters.  They do not know the sea, so they will be like babies taking their first breath.”  The mate of Jake Sully turned her gaze away, offended at the statement.  “Teach them our way so they do not suffer the shame of being useless,” Tonowari emphasized, turning his attention again to Jake Sully, nodding at the family. 

“Alright, what do we say?” He urged, thank you’s being muttered by the rest of his family. 

“My son Ao’nung, our daughter Tsireya, will show your children what to do,” a grimace morphing in Ao’nung’s face, whilst the complete opposite reaction was written on Tsireya’s.  She beamed at the family, and her brother sought an escape from unwanted duties.  

“Father why–” 

“It has been decided”

It has been decided.

It wasn’t too long until you had to interact with the new faces, having been invited by Tsireya to dive with them, along with Rotxo and of course, Ao’nung.  You warily distanced yourself from the navy blue na’vi, sticking close to Ao’nung, since Tsireya was enthusiastic with her newly acquired duties.  You waved at Tuktirey, or Tuk, as what she asked you to call her.  You found her adorable, having no siblings of your own.  You swam closely to the reef, glancing behind you to ensure that they were following you, when you saw them swim upwards, Rotxo looking at them with disbelief, and Ao’nung signing that they were bad divers.  

‘Stop, they only need to learn,’ Tsireya signed, with you nodding in agreement, swimming upwards to follow the Sully children and encourage them to swim more.  You were eager to show them the beauty of the reef, determined to get to know them better.  Lo’ak stuck his face into the water, finding Tsireya’s smiling face, signaling them to swim together, as he responded with gibberish signs, having no idea how to respond.  This coaxed a shy smile from you, continuing to swim upwards along with the other metkayina.  

“You swim too fast!  Wait for us,” Tuk whined, making you chuckle at her adorableness.

“You are not good divers, maybe swinging through trees but–” Ao’nung’s tasteless humor earned a smack on the head from his sister, fed up with unsolicited criticisms.  “C’mon bro–”  “We do not understand this finger talk you were doing,” Neteyam tried copying what you were doing, making Rotxo grin and Ao’nung laughed at their cluelessness.  

“I will teach you,” Tsireya volunteered, and suddenly included you in her future responsibilities, “(y/n) and I will do.  Ao’nung and Rotxo can help us with your breathing.”

“Wait, where’s Kiri?” Rotxo’s face twisted in worry, the whole group asking each other where she was, not noticing that the eldest daughter of the Sully’s had disconnected from the lot.

As soon as you realized where she was, you regrouped again and were told to follow Ao’nung towards the shore.  He stood a meter away from the group, producing clicks and noises to call a group of ilu. Waist deep in the water, he glanced at each of you, “If you want to live here, you have to ride.”  

His arms gestured at the ilu’s surrounding him, nodding at the siblings, encouraging them to approach the creatures and familiarize themselves.  Your eyes gleamed at how commanding his voice was, as if the whole ocean was sitting on his palm, an attribute that seemed to be innate in the future olo’eyktan of your clan.  One by one, they tried their hand at riding an ilu, Lo’ak’s attempt being the most memorable after being thrown off its back at his recklessness. 

The training went on and on for weeks, with you assisting Kiri, who was surprisingly a natural when it came to the ilu, having found her underwater interacting with one, which amazed you so much she was shocked to see your beaming face at her after resurfacing with an ilu.  

As the eclipse approached, so did the end of your daily meetings.  The beautiful shades of auburn purple shone on the archipelagic glory of Awa’atlu, indicating the end of the day.  Soon after dismissing the group, Tsireya bid you farewell, whispering that she wanted to have a few moments Lo’ak, making the two of you giggle at the thought of potentially finding someone she wants to spend her life with.  Your simpering caught Ao’nung’s attention, raising his brow at what could possibly be funny that you and his sister are looking at the rest of the boys coyly.  Supporting her idea after knowing that the Sully mean no harm and are actually just a family, you waved at her, tugging Ao’nung’s arm to the direction of the village knowing his tendencies to be protective over his sister.  

“What were the two of you talking about?” he asked, adjusting your headpiece, seeing how disheveled your hair looked.  You brushed off a sand on your arm, “Oh you know, there’s this boy,” you giggled, remembering Tsireya’s blushing face,” ‘Reya really likes the forest boy.”  You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, “I’m very happy for her.  Finding someone she likes and all…” A small whisper from your lips following, “How wonderful it would be if I too..”

You sighed dreamily, reminiscing about your encounters with peers, frowning at the lack of finding someone that stood out from all of your options, having no recollection of successful romantic encounters.  Your sigh did not go unnoticed by your companion, receiving a questioning gaze from Ao’nung.  He stopped walking and asked, “What, you want a mate all of the sudden?”

You breathed, the smell of the ocean embracing you, “I am simply pondering my options, Ao’nung.  My rite of passage is not far, and it is of common knowledge that it is only a matter of time until all the commendable bachelors in our village become betrothed” he scoffed at this, his tail flicking in annoyance at the thought of you getting a mate.  

“I do not want to grow old all alone.  I would want a family for myself, you know that.”  Approaching the direction of your marui, you smiled at him moving your hands to sign him farewell.  As you were helping your mother prepare dinner, you couldn’t help but reminisce about the times when another guy your age would approach you with the most intricate shells in hand.  

You have just turned 14 when a boy of your age approached you with a carefully woven bracelet.  It was typical of you to spend the day with Tsireya, however due to her duties as the tsahik’s daughter, she has asked you to pair up with her brother for the day.  Not minding the company, Ao’nung took you to a spot he and his friends frequented.  You were humming a song to motivate you while searching for shells to give to your dearest friend when a familiar face started to walk towards you.  Ao’nung squinted in curiosity when he noticed Keomä approach your spot.  Keomä is usually assigned with fishing out nets before the eclipse, often swooned at by girls due to his dimpled grins.  The village is not a vast place so the two of you have already been acquainted with each other.

‘What could be that bastard’s business?’ he thought, his carving halted in contemplation.  Rotxo stared at him in suspicion when he suddenly stopped sharpening the bone.  Meeting his friend’s gaze, he huffed and continued his task with a newfound aggressive vigor.  Shrugging at his strange action, Rotxo went back to polishing his dagger.  

Ao’nung was seething as soon as his eyes spotted the bracelet that was not-so-subtly held behind Keomä as an attempt to surprise you.  His enraged mind was prompted to come up with unprecedented schemes to ruin the other metkayina’s chances with you.  As soon as you lifted your head to meet Keomä’s smile with yours, he flouted as he finally decided on what to do.  

“Keomä, have you just finished fetching dinner for the village?” you put down your collection, politely nodding at him.  “Yes, it is another bountiful day,” he stiffly responded, making your head tilt as if to ask what was going on.  Resolved to fulfill what his heart desired, he immediately spouted words of confession before his mouth betrayed him.

“You are the most beautiful person that I have ever laid my eyes on (y/n).  Your melodic voice never fails to complete my day,” he started, making your cheeks flush in appreciation at his kind words.  “I am to participate in my rites of passage in a few months. If you would..” “If your heart is to say yes,” he cleared his throat to continue, “With this crafted bracelet, I would like to ask you for permission to stake a claim on–”

Unfortunately for him, Ao’nung is not one to give openings for other metkayina.  He had his heart spoken for since you were of young age, and he would not let you find a man other than him.  He stood up from his sitting position with a smirk, prancing slowly towards the two of you.

“Ah, Keomä.  Were you not reprimanded by Zoaiäl for your irresponsible decisions yesterday?” Ao’nung towered over the both of you, and to add salt to the wound, “The offense you have induced on yourself could lengthen the stretch before you are allowed to take part in the ceremony for adulthood, you are aware aren’t you?”

“T-that–” 

“Frankly, I do not see the significance in asking her for her hand if you are only going to make her wait for your incompetent self,” his arms extended in a haughty stance, his tail jerking with a snap with threat, “Best to get going to aid your ineptness, Keomä.”  His voice deepened to emphasize his point, making the poor boy shiver.  

Just as your suitor stomped in anger, Ao’nung shook his head at Keomä’s pathetic attempt.  Meanwhile, you were disappointed at the interrupted confession, making you glare at your companion.  Ao’nung could only raise his hands with a satisfied smirk all written on his face.  You went back to your prior activity with a sunken expression and ears down, making him contemplate if you liked Keomä enough to induce despondency from you.

You are not as skillful as Tsireya in healing, nor as good as Noìukä in hunting.  Your modesty however, is of notable charm for most people in your village.  This led to not two, but more than four suitors in a span of seven months just after the first efforts to capture your heart.  

How wonderful! Not. 

Ao’nung’s annoying interruptions continued on as more young metkayina tried their hand in asking you, finding it increasingly difficult to penetrate the barricades that your childhood friend had established.  He was acting like a possessive mate at that point.  That’s right, a mate–

That particular speculation immediately pulled you from the barrage of memories you were just recollecting.  Your eyes widened at the thought of Ao’nung holding romantic affections for you.  You have never considered him to be someone who would develop feelings for you.  

Not that you know of. 

Set on shrugging this particular idea off of your mind, you finished cleaning up with your mother and informed her that you were turning in for the night, making her meet your forehead with hers in good night, receiving another from your father with a promise from your parents that they will be joining you in bed later.  You tucked yourself in your family’s mat with a strange feeling in your stomach, making it difficult to fall asleep.  Instantly after a few minutes, you were off to sleep with a particular boy in your dreams.

Months have passed since the arrival of the Omatikaya na’vi and you have grown close with the siblings, which is quite the contrary in Ao’nung’s case, growing some kind of disdain for them, calling them names and sneering at them for their differences.  

It has become unbearable, really. 

As you grew close to the siblings, you have also gotten to know their mother, Neytiri, and the Toruk Makto, Jake Sully.  You looked up to the both of them, having been told the stories of how they fought the sky people with victory.  You often found yourself dining with them in their marui at some nights.  The cherry on top however, was the friendship that you have found in Neteyam.  He is someone that you look up to, treating him as a brother and him, treating you as one of his sisters.  You have invited him and his siblings to one of your dinners, your mother and father appreciating their presence as they have finally had a chance to take a closer look at the infamous family.  

“So, do you like it here so far Neteyam?” your hands untangled themselves from the net, gesturing for him to try continuing the work himself. 

“It is different from the forest,” he reached out for the strands, “there is also difficulty in connecting with other na’vi, but the island is wonderful.”

You were assisting Neteyam with weaving a net when Kiri’s voice caught your attention.  “Leave us alone!”, followed by a series of laughter.  You frowned when you saw Ao’nung’s peers around her and Lo’ak.  Hearing a hiss from Neteyam, you casted a worried glance at him when he stood up stomping towards his siblings.  You pressed your lips together and stood up to follow him, your ears flicking in alarm when he shoved Ao’nung away, “You heard what she said.  Leave them alone.”  He huffed with his tail flicking with a rigid threat, “Smart choice, and from now on, I need you to respect my sister.”   

You grimaced at Ao’nung’s lack of apology when he simply raised his hands in mock surrender, obviously not taking Neteyam’s words seriously; followed suit by his friend who hissed at Neteyam from being told off.  Neteyam goaded his sister gently to the direction of the village marui with Lo’ak following, when Ao’nung voiced out another jibe. 

“Buh-bye~” One of his friends waved goodbye with a singsong voice.

“They’re all freaks.  The whole family,” he slyly whispered loudly, purposely making the siblings hear.  You frowned when Lo’ak stopped walking, only to turn back and approach Ao’nung with anger clearly visible from his eyes.   

“Lo’ak.” 

“I got this bro,” Lo’ak responded to his older brother calling his name in warning.  Facing Ao’nung, he raised his left hand, “I know this hand is funny.  Look, I’m a freak, it’s alien” he waved his pinky, making the group snicker at the ‘weird’ display.  “But it can do something really cool, watch.”  He slowly started to close his hand to form a fist, ”First I ball it up real tight like this, ‘kay? Then,” his balled up first met Ao’nung’s cheek, catching him off guard to pause for a few seconds at what had just occurred.  

“It’s called a punch, bitch.  Never touch my sister again,” he raised a finger in threat, only to be greeted with hisses and a tackle.  Your eyes met Neteyam and Kiri’s, only to gasp when Neteyam shook his head and joined in.  

“Oh dear,” you hissed when two of them pulled on Lo’ak’s tail, Ao’nung being the main instigator of the action.  “This is stupid!”  Kiri facepalmed in embarrassment, only to chortle at the childishness of the boys, making you follow her example as you bit your lip to stop yourself from laughing out loud at how silly they all looked.  It was not long before one of the villagers spotted the lot of you and helped stop the boys from worsening their injuries.  

As soon as the fight is broken off, Neteyam and Lo’ak were dragged by their necks by Jake Sully himself, meanwhile Ao’nung successfully evaded his mother by calling an ilu together with his friends.  

The eclipse had already begun when you went back to your home in order to assist your mother, spending time telling her of what had just occurred between your friends when an alarm resonated to gather the villagers.  As soon as you were in the emergency gathering, you spotted Ao’nung being interrogated by his own parents and Jake Sully, along with a livid Neytiri, clutching Tuk’s hand.  

“What’s going on, ‘Reya?” you inquired, spotting your friend behind her parents.  Her eyes glistened with welled up tears, fear clearly written on her face.  “It’s Lo’ak..” she started, repeating what Ao’nung confessed earlier. 

You raised your hands to your mouth in shock, terrified at what you heard, “What do you mean Ao’nung left Lo’ak beyond the hunting grounds?  No one but warriors are allowed there!”  You swallowed at the thought of Lo’ak getting injured, or worse, losing his life in the middle of nowhere.  You had witnessed Ao’nung’s tendency to play pranks countless times, but never did this particular idea strike your mind.  You did not expect things to escalate this much.  

Ao’nung met your gaze with his ears flattened down with regret and scrutiny at himself clearly on his face.  You avoided his gaze in utter disappointment, exasperated at the endangerment of one of your friends.  You thought he had done enough to make the family feel unwelcome, but this is going above and beyond the line.  He had endangered the life of another na’vi.  You could not bring yourself to meet his eyes without a scornful grimace on your face. 

It was not long after until someone yelled that they had found Lo’ak, hugging Tsireya in relief, her tears streaming down her face.  Lo’ak shook his head when he saw Ao’nung approaching him, getting blocked by his father’s distressed figure.  

“Hey, let’s take a look at you,” Jake roamed his eyes on his son’s body, noticing a few scratches, proceeding to check on Lo’ak’s back to see if there were any notable injuries that needed immediate remedy.  “He’s fine!  It’s just a few scratches, he’s fine,” he finished examining, Neytiri coming into view with concern morphed into her face, turning into something akin to rage, “I pray for the strength that I will not pluck the eyeballs of my youngest son!” She hissed with a clawing gesture right at Lo’ak’s face, interjected by Tonowari.  “No, my son knows better than to take him outside the reef.”  He smacked a hand at Ao’nung’s nape, making him kneel before them, “the blame is his.”  

“Okay, let’s go,” Jake shrugged off the statement, patting his son’s shoulder.  “No, this is not Ao’nung’s fault,” Lo’ak intervened, obviously covering up for the olo’eyktan’s son.  Ao’nung’s surprised expression made you shake your head at his foolishness, feeling bad for your friend for salvaging his bully’s honor.  Lo’ak peered at him, back to Tonowari “Ao’nung actually tried to talk me out of it, really.”  Tsireya only pursed her lips in shame for her brother’s poor decisions, urging her to walk away from the commotion.  Soon enough, the rest of the villagers were dispersed, ending the day with you thanking Eywa that she has kept your friend safe, and with the thoughts of Ao’nung circling within your mind.

The next day, you were once again gathered in your usual spot to help the Sully siblings with their breathing.  Although instead of training, the group had a newfound interest for talking, curious about Lo’ak’s frightening experience the prior day.  You found out that Ao’nung has apologized to Lo’ak, regretful of his actions but also thankful that the boy covered up for his irrationality.  

“The tulkun have not returned yet,” Ao’nung scoffed in disbelief, crouching down, “and anyway, no tulkun is ever alone” 

“But this one was, he also had a– a missing fin! On the left side, like a stump” Lo’ak defended, pointing at his arm, a bit annoyed.

Your eyes met Rotxo’s in realization, “Lo’ak, did you just say the tulkun was missing a fin?”  He nodded at you in hopes of finding more information about his friend, “You have met Payakan..”  Tsireya gulped, afraid for him because of what the villagers know about Payakan.  

“Payakan?”

Rotxo shook his head, fiddling with a shell, “A young bull who went rogue, he is an outcast. Alone, and he has a missing fin.”  Tsireya held Lo’ak’s arm, “They say he is a killer.”  Lo’ak frowned, “No, he saved my life–” “He killed na’vi, and other tulkun,” Ao’nung gritted his teeth, pointedly gesturing as if to emphasize his point.  “Not here, but far to the south.”  “Lo’ak, you are lucky to be alive,” Tsireya smiled as an attempt to ease his worries, but Lo’ak could only sigh, finding it ridiculous that none of his friends believed him.  

“My baby brother, the mighty warrior who survived from Payakan!”  Neteyam chuckled, patting his brother’s shoulders.  “No, you guys aren’t listening,”  “No I’m– I’m listening Lo’ak!” Tuk whined, reaching out for her brother.

You pressed your lips together, hugging yourself when Lo’ak stormed off.  Blinking at his brother’s response, Neteyam went to sit beside you, offering a smile, “I guess he’s not so mighty to be this fed up in a span of minutes, huh?”  You laughed, standing up to call it a day.  “(y/n), you are not coming with us?”  Tsireya asked, brushing off sand from her legs.  “I think I am going to pass, I have not told my mother that we would be visiting,” you smiled apologetically, waving at the rest of the group.  “I won’t be going as well,” Ao’nung said, standing up from his crouched position to walk towards you.  He slung his arm around you, nodding at his sister, “Be back before the eclipse, Tsireya.”  He shared a look with Rotxo, the latter snickering at his friend.  “See you guys around,” you waved, starting to walk with Ao’nung. 

You were talking to Ao’nung about his latest opinion on the Sully’s when a thought crossed your mind, something that you have been pondering since that night.  

“Ao’nung, am I not desirable?”  

Your question caught him off guard and stopped walking, “What?”  Confusion.  It was all written on his face.  “I said, am I not desirable?” you repeated while facing him, slowly meeting his gaze with glossy eyes.  You have been sought after before but when you turned 18, it was as if all of your redeemable qualities had disappeared.  That you have become dull compared to the other girls your age.  Keomä had bonded with Tifka.  Rotxo is obviously pining for a certain girl.  Tsireya and Lo’ak has something going on.  

Ao’nung..  

Ao’nung probably has someone in mind.

Your ears flattened down in shame, your insecurities resurfacing, doubts swallowing your heart as you searched for answers. 

Were you not worthy of being loved?

Tears started to stream down when Ao’nung opened his mouth to answer.  You were afraid that he might say something true that you cannot accept.  You were afraid that he might ridicule you.  You were afraid that you might be incapable of being loved.  You were afraid that nobody would see you.

You were afraid that Ao’nung does not see you the way you see him.

Ao’nung let out an exasperated breath, reaching for your hands.  “You are desirable.”  He licked his bottom lip, “You are beautiful,” he breathed, “the most beautiful metkayina.”  He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, “You are good at healing, better than most in weaving.”  

You laughed, sniffling at the sudden compliments.  “You are not speaking the truth, Ao’nung.  You do not have to say those to make me feel better,” you smiled, looking at the horizons instead of his eyes.  You could hear the constant splashing of water against the sand, a sound that you have been accustomed with since you were little.  The blues reflect the way of the ocean, colors that you have most seen in your whole life.  

But you were not familiar with the way Ao’nung looked at you when you glanced back at his face.  The look of yearning, as if he was pleading.  Like there was a thing that he wanted to see. 

That, he sees you. 

Your heartbeat fastened at the thought.  Of course not.  He would not.

Interrupting you from more thinking, he spoke as if he was holding back “Do you have any idea why the others stopped trying to approach you?”  You blinked at him, a few tears escaping from your eyes.  

“I,” he inhaled sharply “I have told the others that I did not want them near you.”  He brought his hand up to wipe at your tears, “I made it clear that they were not worthy of you,” your eyes clouded up again in realization.  

“That I was the only one who can love you,” you gripped the arm that held your face, clutching it, afraid that you might slip away from this dream.  “I do not want you to see others so I made it impossible for you to have other options than I.”  Your lips quivered, “I see you, (y/n).  You have owned my heart since we were children,” his face was slowly inching towards yours, “you make me feel tiny in this world,” he smiled like he was in pain, “you hold my whole being, like you would a shell in your collection.”  

“You have so many people to choose from,” he closed his eyes, slowly closing the space between you, one centimeter at a time, “many shells to place in your song chord.”  He opened his eyes once again when your foreheads met, “But, I want to be the one who will be in your life, recorded and embedded in your heart.”

His eyes themselves were becoming glossy, reflecting the hopeful expression on your face, slightly flushed but still just as beautiful as you were when he first met you.  “I see you, (y/n).  I see you like how the ilu sees the ocean,” you smiled, happy tears dropping at the mercy of his loving gaze, and finally your velvety voice reached his ears.

“I see you, Ma Ao’nung.  I see you since the promise that I have spoken years ago,” without hesitation, your lips met, perfectly slotting together like puzzle pieces finally finding one another after years and years of searching.  His plump lips smiling against yours, slowly but passionately finding its place on yours, so full of longing, and as you returned with fervor, his arm found itself wounding across your back, one of his hands gently caressing your jaw, tilting it to a newer angle, making you sigh as he made it clear how long he waited for you to know.  For you to see him back. 

Seconds felt like hours to the two of you, the background fading into nothingness when it was just the two of you, close together.  Your lips parted to catch your breath, holding on to Ao’nung’s neck to balance your weakened knees.  You smiled against Ao’nung’s lips, “So, all those years you were taking all of their chances for yourself?”  He smirked, “A man cannot be too careful, they were simply not strong enough to go against me.”  

“Or, you were simply not strong enough to handle it if I saw someone else,” you snorted at his deadpanning face.  Your eyes widened in horror when you saw his face morph into something akin to a daring tsurak, his fangs visible from how wide his smile was, “You have five seconds.”  

“5,” you tried to get out from his tight grasp, giggling when he started to nose at your neck, 

“4,” he strengthened his grip, “not running away, pretty girl?” 

You wheezed, feeling too ticklish when he moved his arms near your sensitive spots, “3,”

“2”

“Oh my Eywa, Ao’nung!” you squealed, failing to escape.

“1!” 

“Ready or not, here I come!” he announced, making A’vire giggle nervously behind you.  You smiled at his tiny hands gripping your tail, trying to hide his whole body from his father.  

“Sa’nu, Aiwouì would not give me my tsurak back!” Ämepxìr cried, tugging at you as you bounced Aytretem in your arms making him giggle.  

“Aiwouì, give your sister her toy back, or I will snap your spear in half.” You glared at your 4-year old son.  

“Ma yawne, stop glaring at our son or he might just melt into a puddle,” Ao’nung pressed a kiss on your forehead, patting his son on the head, tearing up after being scolded.  

“Remind me again, why did I go for you?  Look at these little Ao’nungs!  None of them look like me,” you whined, repeatedly glancing over your children to double check if they at least had an ounce of you.  

He grinned, letting out a boisterous laugh when you let out a long sigh, “Maybe it is because I am stronger than you, (y/n).”

“Stronger?” you scoffed, “I see how it is.  I hope you are strong enough to withstand the cold nights Ao’nung,” his eyes almost popped out of his skull in realization.  

“No, ma– Yawntu, you know I was just–”  

“I hope you have fun being strong by yourself outside my mat, Ao’nung.”

-

Yawne, Yawntu – Beloved

Sa'nu - Mom, mother

I DO NOT NEED THIS EMOTIONAL DAMAGE GOD DAMNIT 😭😭💔💔

Illicit Affairs | Chapter VIII: My Tears Ricochet

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII

Synopsis: All secrets are revealed and both you and Neteyam have to live with the consequences of your actions.

Warnings: pure angst, mentions of death, mental illness, addiction, self-injury, limited mentions of Y/N, did i mention angst, angst and more angst?

Word Count: 10,3k words (the first couple chapters were 3k, how did we get here??!)

A/N: This chapter killed me a little inside. I cried multiple times writing it, so I guess fair warning. I wanted really badly to build strong, round characters who had flaws and strengths and strong reasoning for acting a certain way/doing certain things. I wanted to write this story from both character's perspective, so it is clear that in life, each person will think they are right, that their reasoning was the correct one, when in reality, we are all a little right and a little wrong in everything we do, and it is always worth trying to see things from the other's perspective. We are coming towards the end of this first series, so I hope you enjoy this chapter and the rest of this journey. As always, thank you so much for everyone who engaged with it, I loved reading ALL of your comments and replies, they really make my day.

(Also, I feel like I am playing my own little game of "how many Taylor Swift and OG Avatar lyrics/quotes/references I can reasonably fit in a story without it being obnoxious" and I can't tell if I'm winning or not.)

"I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave

And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

Look at how my tears ricochet"

You registered the girl asking you if you were alright, but you couldn’t see in front of you, the entire room spinning like the inside of a mirrorball. You felt your body rise from where it was sat next to Neteyam’s, and shakily made your way out. Neteyam’s mate. Neteyam’s mate was next to you, asking you if you need help. It all got too much, and you lunged your body forwards and threw up on the ground next to your tent. You were panting, trying to somehow get a grasp on your mind and push the hurt aside, enough so you can see and hear the world around you.

“I’m fine. Thank you.” you manage to blurt out weakly.

You heard more commotion, and faintly made out Jake’s voice and his arm on your shoulder, trying to bring you back to them.

“Neteyam, what the hell happened?”

You didn’t hear Neteyam speak. He was quiet and you were glad. You didn’t want to hear his voice, not now, and not for the rest of your life.

The world came back to focus eventually, and you spit aggressively trying to get rid of the taste of acid in your mouth. You removed Jake’s hand from your back, and left. The thought of speaking or even looking at any of them was too much to bear. You ran, harder than you ever had before, back to where you just came from, the Ikran nest in the village. You immediately recognised your own, beautiful, gold and white, pure, unlike the rest of this world. Neyn (light colours, shades of white)… fitting name, you thought. You made the tsaheylu quickly, and without a second thought, took off.

FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF

STAGE III: DEPRESSION

You had no thoughts as you flew above the forest and made your way towards the general direction of the Hallelujah mountains. You realised you didn’t know where you were going, you didn’t know how you were going to find your way back, but it didn’t matter. Were you even going to ever return? There were no tears, no sadness, just emptiness. The pieces of your heart broke so finely they turned into dust, blown away in the wind of the night. Eventually you found the mountains, easy enough to spot, even in the darkness, the fluorescent flora marking the territory with an easy-to-see glow. You flew like this, for enough time that your lungs were running out of breath and your skin felt battered by the wind, but you kept going. You felt so free, so weightless. There was a calmness to your thoughts that you haven’t felt in years, probably since your mother died.

You saw a distant mountain that looked brighter than the others, and you made your way to it and were amazed to find a little cave in it, bright and colourful, a little piece of heaven on a planet that was heaven in and of itself. Neyn landed softly on the edge of the mountain and you dismounted effortlessly and approached her head, giving her pets on her neck, to which she cooed gently. She was the only friend you had, you realise. You were all alone.

“Neteyam, what happened?”

Neteyam was dragged in the tent by his dad, who was fuming. No matter what feelings his dad was feeling, they couldn’t compare to Neteyam’s anguish and terror. Why the hell was she there? She just had to wait another couple of hours and this would have never happened.

“She was patching my wound up when Tiongli came in the tent, announcing to the world she is my mate. Said mother told her about my injury.”

“Don’t you dare blame this on your mother, boy.” the Sully patriarch’s nose was flared, eyes looking at him intensely with anger and disappointment. Neteyam’s eyes filled with tears, and he felt his heart hurting so much like the gash was there instead of his arm.

“I was going to tell her tonight, dad. After dinner. I was going to tell her everything, and I was going to ask her to be my mate. I was going to come to you both and ask you to undo the engagement. I understand that a year and a half ago I gave up on her, I did it for a reason, I thought there was no future for us, and that we were hurting each other. But things have changed. She has changed. She’s going to be one of the people soon and I want her to be mine.”

“Neteyam, you can’t undo the engagement. You have known Tiongli your whole life, her family’s been expecting this since you were both young. You gave your word before Eywa, son.”

“I love her, dad. Do you understand that? I have loved her all of my life. It killed me having to leave, it killed me knowing there was no future, because she was human. But she’s not just human anymore. I was willing to go through with this for the sake of the village, for the sake of the family and the future, but if there is any chance I can have the love of my life by my side, instead, I will cling on to it for dear life. Mother was betrothed to uncle Tsu’tey, and she gave that up for you. It was done before Eywa, and she didn’t care. Because she loved you and she knew that was enough. She gave up being Tsahik, her birth right, so she can have you. I will not give up on her, dad. Mother wouldn’t have given up on you.”

“I have to find her. I have to make this right.”

You were sprawled on your back, feeling goosebumps form along your limbs from the cold grass. You were staring at the sky, noticing the bright stars you now knew were actually bright death sentences, each of them beautiful and devastating. Will you even still be alive when they come? Will everything you have gone through these few months matter? Will everything you have gone through in this life matter? All the pain, and the hurt, and the grief, just so you can die at 18 from a virus. The universe was cruel, you thought. It was a fitting end, though. Meaningless and daft, like your entire life was. Born on a planet you were not made to be able to survive on, your real planet a long-forsaken dream you will never experience for yourself, surrounded by nature that could kill you in an instant. Alone, never fitting anywhere, orphaned by human diseases: cancer and greed. Left to fend for yourself when you were just ten, learning to navigate a life that only seemed to want to clobber you to the ground whenever you thought you finally could stand up again.

There was no light at the end of the tunnel, not anymore. You wanted to fight for something, for the chance at life, or at retribution, or at love. You were dying and Neteyam killed whatever hope remained in you. They all did. Norm, Max, Jake, Neytiri, Lo’ak, Kiri, Spider, all accomplices, all aware, all willing to lie to your face for weeks with no remorse. You thought you were good at spotting liars, now you just knew how little you knew about everything.

The pain in your soul mirrored the one in your body, as you felt the morphine wearing off and your human body struggling to keep the mind steady for the link. You had to bear it, because this pain was more manageable than the one you knew waited for you in your human form, when you would be alone in a dark room with only your nightmares to keep you company.

With a sigh and a peer up at the sky, you hoped whatever comes after death was better than the hell you’ve lived in the majority of this life.

Neteyam waited the whole night in your tent, waited for you to come back, becoming increasingly worried as the hours passed and you didn’t show. He wanted to go and look for you, but knew that as soon as you got on your ikran, the chances of finding you were thin. He would go to the lab as soon as dawn broke, but for now, he was praying that you would just burst through the tent opening so he can talk you down.

He fucked up, badly. He cringed at the thought of how much he seemed to not be able to get anything right when it comes to you. Everything he did or didn’t do ended up hurting you more, the only thing he didn’t want, the only thing in the world he continuously tried to avoid.

He was consoled by the fact that he would have a lifetime to make it up to you. He will not give up trying, no matter how long, no matter how hard, he was determined to win you back and keep you, forever.

As you made it back to your human body in the early hours of the morning, you regretted waiting so long, as your body was in indescribable agony, the likes with which you didn’t know was possible for the human body to ever experience. Your heart was beating a mile a minute, you were sweating bullets and every bone and muscle in your body throbbed with enough intensity to make it almost impossible for you to get up from the pod. Everyone must be asleep at this hour, you thought. You had to make it to your bed, you had to get at least a couple of hours of rest if you were going to live to see another day. As if you were taking the Iknimaya again, you made your way form the lab to the medical ward and injected another dose of the morphine in your system. There was no going back now, you were too far down the rabbit hole to stop and why put yourself through more unnecessary pain when this will all be over in a few days anyway?

You crashed in your room for a few hours and quickly made your way back to the pod before anyone else was there to talk to. You started the linkpod by yourself and got in without hesitation.

Waking up in your Avatar body was a strange experience, as you were still in the Hallelujah mountains where you fell asleep last night. Neyn did not leave you, you noted, and she was peacefully resting next to you, cooing softly in her sleep.

“Hey, beautiful girl. Time to go back. It would be useful if you knew the way.” you pet her gently, trying not to disturb her. She woke up and pushed her snoot in your chest, and you felt it swell for this animal that you had an unbreakable bond with; you were grateful you had done the Iknimaya and at least gained a life companion from that horrible day.

As suspected, Neyn knew where to take you, and in about an hour you made it back to the village. You dreaded it, dreaded the inevitable interaction, but you knew you had to go back at some point and inform them of your whereabouts.

It was still early, so the village wasn’t quite bustling with energy yet. You quietly made it back to your tent, which you found empty. You grabbed your bow and arrows, knife and gun and a couple extra magazines. You didn’t know if you were going to be back. As you were making your way out, your head bumped into a large, muscular chest.

Fuck.

“Where the hell were you all night, kid? None of us slept a wink last night worrying.”

“Out.”

“What the hell do you mean out? Out where? You leave without telling, you don’t come back the whole night, do you have a fucking death wish?”

You laughed at the irony of his words. He caught your arm as you were walking away and pulled you back forcefully so you can face him.

“You are not going anywhere.”

“Let go.” Jake raised a brow at your words. He was not used to being spoken this way, you realise.

“How long?”

His grasp on you loosened, and his gaze softened when you peered up at him through eyelashes to which tears clung.

“How long has this been going on?”

“Kid…”

“How fucking long, Jake?”

He let go of your arm at your curse, which had never been directed at him before.

“Watch your tone, kid.”

“You made me feel like shit for learning to shoot guns without you. It made you feel bad, right? Knowing I purposefully left you out of something you could have been useful at, something we could have bonded over? I hurt you, by pushing you and Neytiri away for so many years, and I am sorry for that, but you have never, in your life, tried to understand me. So you gave me shit about something you didn’t understand, and I hurt so much inside at the thought of all I gave away by my reluctance to trust, to love, to let people in. So I changed. I let you in. I was here, everyday, acting like a perfect little daughter for you, the daughter I knew you wanted. Strong, capable, skilled. I let Neytiri in. I started calling her mum in my dreams, and although the guilt for my own mother gnawed at my insides silently, I was also relived, to finally have a family again, or for the first time.

You made me love you and break down these carefully constructed walls so you can be comfortable and sleep well at night for not breaking your promise my mum, and then you fucking stabbed me in the back.

I trusted you, Jake. You fucking lied to my face for months. Every time I asked where Neteyam was at dinners and you told me he was practicing, every day you plotted to get me out of the village as early morning as humanly possible and get me back after everyone else was fast asleep, I knew it in my heart you were lying, but you were all so good at it, I thought I was going crazy. But no, it was all a carefully planned ruse to not find out you made me come here and be part of the people just to watch the man I love belong to someone else without even a chance to decide for myself how to feel about it.”

The fight brought out the rest of the Sully family out of their tent, and they were all watching you now, concern and sadness displayed across their beautiful faces.

“You all lied to me. Looked me in the fucking eyes and lied to me, every day, multiple times a day. You were supposed to be my family.

The humans are coming. I will be here. I will stand and fight, you know I will. I will be your little soldier, and be who you made me into.

But I want to make this perfectly clear. As far as I am concerned, you and I, we are done. I am done.” You looked at every Sully one last time, and left.

You were no longer delightfully numb, but burning with anger and earth-shattering sorrow as you stalked away from the village, leaving everything behind. Your eyes were blurry with endless tears, mourning this life and this family that you managed to gain and lose within the span of a few weeks, reeling from the wounds within your heart that never had a chance to mend before being opened again, over and over. You didn’t want to go back to the lab, knowing Neteyam was most likely looking for you there. You couldn’t go to the clearing for the same reason. You had no home anymore, no place in this world, once again. You could only think of one place to go, one place where no one would ever look for you.

Your knees were shaking furiously as you walked, and you were scared of another flashback that you would have to ride out by yourself, but it never came. You just walked, crying and panting from all the pain the last 24 hours brought, and eventually you made it to a place you never thought you would ever see again. The clearing looked peaceful, with rays of light penetrating through tree branches, creating Mandalas on the ground that you found yourself tracing with your eyes.

In the corner, lay a decrepit exo suit, and you made your way to it, settling on the ground next to it. You knew now this exo suit belonged to your dad, and you removed some vines that grew on top of his name, Gideon Barlowe. A beautiful name, you thought, and your mind wandered to the past, a past way before you were even born, and wondered what your grandparents did back on Earth. Did they encourage their son to leave his own planet in pursuit of planetary colonisation, monetary gain and murderous acts? Did they know? Did he know? Was he like that his whole life, or did he start off fighting the good fight, and was corrupted by the jagged and monstrous lifestyle? You wondered if this was what he has always dreamt of doing, or he had secret dreams of being a painter, or a gardener. Did he play guitar, too? You snored sometimes, did you get that from him? You had so many questions for this man you shared half your DNA with, but have never met. For the man that died on a planet far away from home, alone, with no one to mourn him.

Was that going to be you? Would Neteyam remember you in 20 years, when he would tell stories about his childhood to his kids, when he remembered the good old times? Would you get a Na’vi send off? Or were you going to be buried somewhere in the forest, for someone to stumble upon in a distant future you would no longer be a part of?

Sobbing uncontrollably, you heard yourself speak in between wails. “Why am I here? Great Mother, is there a reason for this hurt? Please tell me there is more to this life, there is more to life than this, because I cannot do this anymore. I am so tired. I have tried to keep going my whole life, even when I wanted nothing more than to cease to exist, blissfully collapse in an ether where I didn’t have to feel anything anymore. I kept going because I wanted to make my mum proud, I wanted to honour the body and life she has given me. I am trying so hard, but I am really fucking tired.”

A little past eclipse, you arrived at the lab, and used the keycard you remembered to bring with you. You hoped Neteyam would be gone by now, in case he was trying to find you here. You made your way through the hub and into your bedroom, which looked tiny in your Avatar body. You realise how uncomfortable it must have been for him to be here so often, then cursed your brain for making you think about such things. Your Avatar body needed a bed, so you walked slowly to where the other Avatar bodies usually were laid to rest for the night. There should be an empty space where your mum or Grace used to sleep. It didn’t take long for you to wake up back in the linkpod, as with most nights recently, you were barely able to maintain the neurolink by the time evening came.

Max was waiting for you. “Neteyam came by. He’s been looking for you, said you left the village yesterday and didn’t come back. He was worried sick.”

You didn’t answer him, as you slowly got out of the pod and tried to steady your feet on the ground, harder than it seemed when the entire room was spinning around you.

“What happened?”

“The mate you all hid from me for weeks came announcing herself in my tent as we were just about to kiss.”

“Any other questions?”

You didn’t wait for a response before you made your way out of the room, stalking towards the medical ward.

As you retired to your room for the night, you noted the morphine was not working as well as used to anymore. You sat on the bed, looking at the arm that was getting blue at the amount of needle holes it had, and you knew then you didn’t have much time left. Maybe a couple of days. A couple more days of this. And then it would finally be over. You gave it a fair shot, this life thing. You couldn’t say you felt particularly sad at the thought of it ending. You pressed play on your vintage record player and let yourself sleep.

“Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe, all the hell you gave me?

'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you, til my dying day”

You spent the next 2 days in a haze, drugged out of your mind, waking up before eclipse and leaving to your dad’s grave and sleeping in the woods until the night, barely able to make it on your own two feet. Even in your human body, Neyn recognised you, and stood by you, which gave you some peace of mind. You made sure to bring her fruits from the lab, and she cooed warmly as she settled next to you.

When you made your way back that night, Norm was waiting.

“Where the hell have you been? Everyone’s been looking for you for 3 fucking days.”

You removed your oxygen mask and made your way to the room, where he followed you. You were in so much pain you couldn’t see straight.

“I am talking to you!” he took you by your arm and spun you around. The motion made you instantly sick, and you struggled to keep down the fruits you shared with your ikran.

“Let go of me, Norm.” you had no strength in your body anymore, so it took you awhile to shake him off.

“You look like shit. What did you do?”

You managed to make it to the bathroom, where you shut the door behind you and got in the shower. Fortunately, for you or him, you couldn’t tell, Norm was gone when you came out.

The next morning, you woke up desperately searching for pain relief and didn’t know if you were going to be able to make it to the ward before your knees would collapse on themselves. You were shaking and dizzy, out of your mind with agony and walking to the bathroom felt like the most intensive workout you have ever done. You peered up at yourself in the mirror and were scared at the eyes watching you, rabid and wild, like an injured animal waiting to lash out. It was too much for you to bear, and before you could even think or rationalise, you felt your fingers curl into a fist and make contact with the cold glass of the mirror, shattering in dozens of pieces, and it made you weirdly happy to have a visual representation of how your soul felt. The instant pain of the all the wounds the smash caused also gave you a weird sense of euphoria, and you realised it was taking away from the pain in the rest of the body, which was only able to focus on one agonising sensation at a time. This felt like a kiss by comparison, and you knew then you could go on a little longer, you could continue with the rest of the day.

Norm came bursting through the door at the loud crash.

“What the hell happened? Are you okay?”

You came out of your bathroom, blood dripping all over the floor as you made your way to the bed, sitting down on it.

“Leave, Norm.”

“What?”

“Leave.”

“What the hell has gotten into you recently. you are rude and brash, and you hurt people’s feelings with no remorse. This isn’t you.”

“What the hell do you know about me, Norm?” you say, laughing bitterly.

“Ace, stop.”

“You don’t know anything, Norm.” you kept going, the fury and hurt getting the best of you, once again, your need to destroy everything in your path as a way to cope with your own heartbreak winning by a landslide.     

“Did you know I have needed pills to sleep and to live a normal day-to-day life since I was 13? I have been slowly depleting our sleeping pill and benzodiazepines inventory and replacing it with multivitamin pills I found in one of the drawers. I mean thank God none of you suffer from anxiety or panic disorder or need help sleeping cause I would have been busted so long ago.”

You laughed mockingly at his shocked face, jaw so close the floor now you could trip on it on your way out.

“Did you know I am about a week and a half away from dying after I accidentally smashed a vial of infected blood and got it in my mouth?”

You stand corrected, you think now his jaw was close enough to the floor to trip on it.

“Did you know I have upgraded from a pill addiction to a full blown opioid addiction in order to not collapse on the floor in excruciating pain because of the way this virus is eating at my insides? Yeah, yeah, that’s right. We’re almost out of a whole vial of morphine after I injected it in my veins every day for a while now.”

He had no words. “That’s about right.”

“I do know one thing you do know, though. You know that Neteyam had his mate announcement ceremony that day I took off. You were there to see the two love birds announce their love and pledge their commitment to each other the one day I was not there. And that’s why you were acting shifty. You know about that. And somehow you forgot to tell me, every day, for weeks. How does that work out, Norm, hmm?”

“I felt so bad for snapping at you a couple of days ago. I felt like a horrible fucking person for hurting your feelings. I should have been watching my back, instead.”

You got up from your bed and started walking towards the door.

“If I were you I would not linger in a room with poisoned blood dripping on the floor for too long.”

You found some paper towels at the side of your bed and wrapped them around your bleeding, pained hand, and with that, you left.

After you upped the morphine you usually took, you went to the lab and prepped a hood for some more experiments. Work was a good way to get your mind off things, to mindlessly do something that had a purpose other than driving you to the brink of insanity.

You heard a loud banging noise coming from the entrance, and you had a sneaking suspicion you knew who it was. You heard Norm open the door.

“Is she here?”

“Yeah, but Neteyam, I think you should go. She’s not in a good place, and I really don’t think doing this will end well for either of you.”

“I don’t care, I have to talk to her, I have been looking for her for 3 fucking days.”

You heard the door to the lab slide open and hissed at the man you knew would be trying to come in, realising hissing in a human body doesn’t have nearly the same effect.

“Get the fuck out, Neteyam. This is a sterile room.”

“I don’t fucking care about the room, Atan. Where the fuck have you been? Please come out so we can talk.”

You threw your head back and laughed, really laughed.

“You really are delusional if you think there is any way in heaven and hell I would want to hear anything you have got to say. The time for talking was a couple months ago, Neteyam. The time for talking was the first day I got my Avatar body, where in addendum to telling me you own my ass now, you could have also sprinkled in the fact your are now mated with someone else.”

“I am not mated with anyone, for fuck’s sake. Just come out so we can talk, please. I will explain everything, please!”

You stopped what you were doing and looked at him, for the first time since that day. He looked exhausted, anguished. Deep purple bags under his eyes, that were burning red where the whites should be. He has been crying. Good, you thought. He looked panicked and miserable and desperate for you to give him the time of day, for you to allow him to explain the unexplainable.

You sighed and your heart constricted in pain. Neteyam will not be happy until there was nothing left of you, until he took everything from you. At the same time, you were curious, morbidly curious as to what has actually happened, what led to this moment. You knew he loved you. You knew that much, but it didn’t seem to matter in this moment, as he broke your heart for what felt like the thousandth time in your short life.

“Go to the clearing, I’ll come when I’m ready.”

You half considered just leaving him there to wait, abandoning him just he did to you. You finished splitting your cells and treating them, and in about an hour, you went into the linkpod and took your Avatar for a walk in the woods. You reached the clearing shortly, as it was close enough that even child you could do it without getting too far away from the building.

You saw him standing there, his back turned to you and his legs submerged in the river that was rushing violently downstream. It was a cold day, and rain was trickling down your body like shivers from a kiss. There was tension in the air, and you knew a storm was coming. You could practically feel the charge in the atmosphere, and were expecting thunder to start any minute now, ready to mirror the agony in your soul.

“I’m here.”

He didn’t speak for a while. Just stood looking at the river, deep in thought.

“So many of our moments throughout the years happened here. Remember when I taught you to swim in the river? Now, in retrospective, that was a bad idea since the water kept taking you away, to the point I had to wait at the end so I could catch you in my arms, like you were a baby.”

You winced at the memory.  You thought you could do this. You felt numb in that lab, numb on the way here, but as soon as your eyes focused on him, tears starting pooling in your eyes and pain overtook your body, that you tried to counteract by wrapping your arms tightly around yourself. He’s caused you so much hurt, so much grief in the years he’s known you. But he was also at the forefront of most of your happiest memories. You could fill endless manuscripts with the beauty of his love, that shone so brightly over you your whole life. He was the light in all the darkness and you honestly didn’t think you would have survived this journey without him.

That is why this hurt so much, why your body was convulsing on itself in insurmountable grief. And also why you owed him this much. Owed him this conversation, and the right to explain his point of view, that you were still unfamiliar with.

“I remember. I remember even at the time, thinking this was a good metaphor for our relationship. Life kept sweeping me off my feet, but you were always there to catch me, before it could take me away. I had so much faith in you back then, you were a fact of life, like the eclipse. You were the one person in this world I thought would never hurt me.”

“Fuck, Y/N, all I did before I left is hurt you.”

“What are you talking about?” You were confused at the turn this conversation took. What did he mean? You couldn’t recall a single time Neteyam hurt you before you left. Sure, you would fight and bicker sometimes, but it was a normal part of any relationship, you thought. And he always made it up to you, would always come to the lab and sit with you with flowers he collected or trinkets he found in the woods, always holding you and kissing your forehead to make sure you were over it before he had to leave. Fighting with him was ironically one of your favourite things, because you knew the aftermath was the closest you ever felt to being in heaven.

“I almost fucking killed you. Or have you forgotten? Have you forgotten how I manipulated you into getting on top of an ikran when you were just a 13 year old human and almost watched you die? Have you forgotten I took you to the woods and raced you to your dad’s remains? I was a walking magnet for disasters in your life and I was tired, so fucking tired of watching your life fall apart all around me. I had to watch you learn to walk again, limp because of my actions, for years. I had to pull you out of flashbacks and nightmares you developed because of ME. You were always fine in the woods with Lo’ak or Kiri, but everything bad that has happened to you happened around me.”

He was crying, panting and angry, at himself or you or the universe, you couldn’t tell.

“I thought that if I left, you would be ok. I just wanted to protect you. My whole life, all I have wanted was for you to be ok. But it seems no matter what I do, I keep fucking up.”

You had no words to speak as you lay there, listening to him letting you in to a secret you have spent so many months agonising over. The reason for his departure haunted you for a year and a half, even when you refused to think about him, about it, it was there, constantly emerging from the depths of your subconsciousness, taunting you in your dreams. Why? Why? Why?

Because he wanted to protect you?

You didn’t have time to process all of this new information, before he continued.

“The night you found your dad, I was shaken to my core, in a way I have never truly been before. I was so heartbroken, for you and for myself, for knowing this will haunt you for the rest of your life. I went home and mother found me, and told me that maybe I can’t help you in the way I’ve always wanted. That maybe it’s better for you that I remove myself for a while and leave you room to breathe and heal. So I did. It took me a long time to get the strength to do it. Every time I thought today is the day, I would see you and you would smile at me, and we would sit on your bed and you would read to me or play me songs or just be there, just you and me, and I couldn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. You were everything to me, my light in all the darkness.

A year later, you sang me the song and you were smiling at me singing it, and I knew you were confessing feelings we have both felt for years and couldn’t say out loud. And I knew that if I stayed, whatever we had would escalate past the point of no return. If I stayed, that would be it. And that’s when I decided. I thought I was doing us both a favour. I knew it would hurt you, just as much as it hurt me, but I thought the pain would subside in time.”

You were crying now, you realised, tears falling silently and effortlessly down your face, with no intention to ever stop, instantly washed away by the pouring rain. There were no sounds, no sobs or wails, or panted breaths, just the sounds of rain and hopeless, soft cries and muffled sniffles, for the man in front of you, for all that you have lost, for the past you shared and the future that you would never have.

He got up from where he stood and turned around to face you. He walked towards you until he was so close to you could feel his breath on your face. His stare made goosebumps appear on your entire body, so earnest and desperate, so full of intensity for the words he was trying to convey to you.

“It didn’t.” He said, at the same time you thought the same words in your mind.

“A few years ago, mother and father told me I would one day have to find a mate. They knew and I knew it was expected of me, but I always put it off, so they eventually dropped it. I learnt later they both knew about us, so they didn’t push me into anything until they felt I was ready. A few months after they realised I decided to leave, they started bringing it up again. I didn’t want to hear it, but they said it was time, as I had refused for years longer than what was acceptable in the clan. I met with so many girls, all from good families, all healers in training, all wrong. Beautiful girls, smart girls, skilled healers and singers, and it was like looking at the grey walls of your lab. I felt nothing, I felt sick just thinking about it, like just the thought would be betraying the memory of our bond. Eventually, I told them they can decide. Grandma can decide whatever she thinks is best, and, as Tsahik, I would listen to her voice and wisdom, and do my duty to the clan. She chose Tiongli. I knew her growing up, and we were friendly, so I tried to make an effort. I would go to her tent, and she would show me her training sometimes, I would let her heal my wounds and imagined it was your hands touching me instead. I visited her family and paid my respects, and had dinner with them whenever they invited me. I hoped in time, I could learn to care for her, to lessen the distaste in my mouth whenever my family or the clan talked about the future, about the ceremony, about the life I was supposed to lead that I hated even the thought of.

And then, one day, my dad sent me to get Lo’ak from the lab. I was so scared of knowing I would have to see you again. It had been so long, and so many feelings gnawed at me on the walk there, terror and anxiety, guilt and longing. But then I saw you, and there was only one feeling: love. Like no time had passed at all. I knew then I was going to love you for the rest of my life, and that will never change. That was my fact of life, my eclipse.”

He slowly took your face in his hands, and his thumb was caressing your cheek trying to wipe the tears and raindrops that were falling mercilessly. You saw his face slowly getting closer to yours, and you knew you should pull away, you should remove yourself from his grasp before the kiss was going to remove the last ounce of happiness from you. You knew what you had to do, knew that no matter what information or answers or justifications he would give you today, they wouldn’t matter. You should pull away, because there is no future, no hope. But you couldn’t. You didn’t know what waited for you in the afterlife, but if there was any chance you would have your memories, you wanted this kiss to haunt you forever, to remind you of the life you left behind.

His lips touched yours so gently, it felt like a whisper. Like a hug, tender and warm, it was so different than your first kiss. Tears were still running down your face as your lips moved, entangled with his and begging for more. Your hands went to his chest, to his neck, to his back, just touching him, trying to memorise his body, this feeling. You wanted so much more, you wanted to be his, you wanted to feel him, you wanted him to own you, like he did your heart, which has been his your entire life and will still be his after your death.

You were a mess of wet tangled limbs and panted breaths by the end, and eventually, he broke the kiss to look at you through teary eyes.

“I love you, I will always love you. I am so sorry.”

“I love you, too.”

“But this doesn’t change anything, Neteyam.”

“Thank you, for finally telling me why you left. For giving me some closure for something that has plagued me for so long, it became a constant part of my nightmares. Thank you for having my best interest at heart; it couldn’t have been easy to leave, if you didn’t want to, it took a strong heart to do something that hurt you for what you thought was the lesser evil. But it doesn’t change anything.”

“You left me. You broke me. And you never gave me a chance to make my own decisions. To figure out for myself what was the path forward. I have NEVER blamed you for my misfortunes. The ikran ride is still a beautiful memory to me. You made it a beautiful memory. If it weren’t for your quick thinking, we probably would have both died at the hands of Toruk. You saved my life, Neteyam. You carried me home and stayed with me while I was having surgery, you stayed with me after, while I recovered. You pulled me out of the worst panic attack I have ever had when I found my dad, and you rode out so many of my flashbacks, I have lost count. You weren’t the cause or the common denominator of these events, I was. I am the one plagued by misfortune and hurt and death. Not you. And if you tell me you had to leave to save your own peace of mind, I would respect that. I don’t know anyone in this world who can take this, take me and all the shit that follows me everywhere I go. I don’t blame you.

But if you tell me that you did this for me, that I can’t accept. I didn’t ask for any of this. You gave me no choice, and no say in this relationship, in our shared life. You just left. I deserved better than that. And I deserved better than to find out about a mate after months of lies and manipulation and deceit. I don’t care. I don’t care if you are going to say that you didn’t want it, or you were going to undo it, or that you’ve always loved me and never her. I don’t care. You lied to me, you manipulated me. You accused me of fucking your brother as you were promised to another woman that you hid from me for months. I do blame you for that, and I will never be able to forgive you.”

“Please, Atan…I will tell her no. I will tell her -.” he was sobbing now, his hands still on your face, pleading.

“No.” you slowly took his hands in yours and removed them from your face.

“I think you should do it, Neteyam. She is a good girl, she will make a good Tsahik, and a good mate. Your mother was right, there is no future here - there never was. I love you, so much. But I think you have broken my heart one too many times. I am done.”

You turned your back and walked away from him and the life that was lost - forever.

You were completely soaked when you arrived in the lab, and you went straight to the Avatar laying room and cried. Cried until it felt like no more tears could possibly come out of you. You cried yourself to sleep and then cried in the pod, on the way to your bedroom, and in bed until your human body eventually collapsed from exhaustion. You cried in your dreams, in which Neteyam was kissing you and touching you, doing all the things you were silently begging him to in your mind just a few hours ago.

Eventually, nightfall came, and you had to get up to do the rest of your experiments and top up your analgesic. Ironically enough, you were making real progress on your work. You found a combination therapy that was showing incredible potential in slowing the virus down. It wasn’t enough to stop and eradicate it, but it was enough to give people more time and hopefully give the scientists more time to find a cure. It wouldn’t help you, but maybe you could still help others.

At some paint through the night, as you were making up some reagents, Norm bursts through the door holding a bunch of equipment and some pills, you realise. He puts them down on the bench behind you and speaks.

“Right, stop whatever you are doing, right now.”

“I am in the middle of something.”

“I don’t fucking care. Stop, now.”

You were taken aback at his words and attitude. Norm never got mad, or lost his composure. He was so most well balanced person you knew.

You put the pipette gun down and turned around to face him.

“I still need to adjust the pH on this.”

He ignored you while he prepared the myriad of little gadgets he brought with him. He motioned for you to take off your lab coat, and you rolled your eyes in annoyance, but did as you were told regardless. You were too tired to argue anymore.

He raised the sleeves of your top until they couldn’t go any further up your arm and put a blood pressure monitor on you. You felt tension as its sleeve tightened around you painfully, but eventually it gave out with a puff, and you heard beeping as the machine finished its reading. You looked to your right where the monitor lay, and saw red lights flashing, letting Norm know your blood pressure and pulse were dangerously low. His eyes widened slightly at the sight, but he held his composure, removing the gadget from around your arm and putting it away. He then read your oxygen levels, which you saw were constantly dabbling between 89 and 90%. Not good, you thought. No wonder you could barely breathe anymore. Norm cursed silently under his breath, trying to not let you see him, but if there was one thing you were good at, it’s reading people. Well, you thought you were, at least.

“Did you do any tests on your blood? How is your complete blood count looking?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Why the fuck not, Ace? It’s not like you don’t know how to do it.”

He was angry, really angry. You’ve never seen Norm this angry, you’ve never seen Norm acting this way towards you.

You just shrugged. With a huff of annoyance, he took your arm and prepared a needle and syringe to collect some blood. He gulped and you could see tears forming in his eyes when he looked at the violet bruises and needle holes that were plastered along the length of your brachial vein.

“Just didn’t get around to it.”

“You didn’t - Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“What medicine have you been taking? Did you take the Relenta, or the combination therapy we have been working on?”

“Neither.”

You swear you saw Norm’s entire body enter a catatonic state and he turned so red you were worried he was going to release steam out of his ears.

“You have been sick for a month and did not take anything, none of the treatments we have been working on?”

You couldn’t look him in the eye anymore, finding comfort in the pattern of the tiles on the floor.

“I can’t believe you. I didn’t peg you for someone who would just throw their life away meaninglessly. Your mum had to die because we didn’t have a way to treat her illness, and here we are, with a solution that YOU came up with for your own illness, and you will just not even try?”

You were quiet, not really having a way to rebut his questions.

“Fine. We will start you on the combination treatment tonight and take it from there. There’s other things we haven’t tried yet and I’m sure -“

“NO.”

“I’m not asking you. I’m not letting you fucking die.”

“Why must you always fucking try to fix everything, Norm? Some things can’t be fixed. I don’t want the fucking pills. I am done. I want this to be done.”

“So you’ll just die? Is that what you’re saying? You want to die, and not even fucking TRY to see if there is more to this life. Goddamn it, Y/N. I thought having the Avatar would help you realise life is worth living, there’s beauty in this world beyond the walls of this lab. You got your first kill, you did the Iknimaya, you’re going to become one of the people. Don’t you want to see what your future holds? Don’t you want to live to see yourself grow up? Fall in love, start a family. There are more guys in this world than just Neteyam.”

You gave Norm a dirty look and got out of the lab.

Neteyam felt his whole body reel after your conversation. It didn’t change anything, he thought bitterly. He thought explaining it to you, allowing to see that he had good reasons for his actions would allow you to forgive him, to at least allow him the opportunity to make it up to you through time. You left, just like he had so long ago, but there was a finality to you that he didn’t feel then. Back then, he always had hope that a miracle would still be possible, one in which you got an Avatar, healed and loved him, forever. He wanted to love you forever, but his apology and explanations were not enough.

He lost you, again.

He spent the night flying on his Ikran, just flying and letting the rain soak his thoughts and hurt away. He just wanted to disappear. He wanted the rain to melt his bones until there was nothing left of him but the memory of happier times.

In the early hours of the morning, he made it back to the village, trying to hide his cried out eyes and calamitous grief. He was dreading having to talk to his parents, to explain to them what happened, to have to go through with Tiongli and this future he didn’t want and will have to suffer through for the rest of his life. He didn’t have time to worry about it too much though, because, as he managed to get to the tent’s entrance, he heard Norm’s voice and his dad’s, intertwined with his grandma’s voice rising above them.

“It won’t work. Eywa will not allow her to come back.”

“Why not? She has taken her Iknimaya, she has completed her kills, she has spent her entire life in the village’s service, trying to help the best way she knew how. If she doesn’t deserve this, who does?”

“It’s not that she doesn’t deserve it. It’s that she doesn’t want it. She doesn’t want this, Norm. The Great Mother will not transfer the conscience of someone with no future.”

“But maybe if this happened, she will realise that she wants to live. Once she’s rid herself of her weak body, of this disease, maybe she will -“

“The Great Mother’s word is final. She will die, because she wants to die.”

Mo’at’s voice rang in his ears so hard he thought his eardrums would pop.

She doesn’t want it.

She will die.

What were they talking about? Who would die?

No… it couldn’t be. No, the Great Mother wouldn’t be so cruel.

He didn’t wait to hear the rest of the conversation, running as fast as his feet could carry him back to the lab. He reached soon enough, he was faster than most other people in the village, and started knocking on the door of the lab with all his might.

“Y/N, OPEN UP, I KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE!”

Eventually, Max came to the door, through which Neteyam burst without consideration for the tiny human next to him.

“She’s not in, Neteyam. She left before any of us had a chance to say anything.”

“Was she in her Avatar body?”

“No, the body is in the den where they sleep.”

He didn’t bother thanking the man, as he turned on his heel and started running again. She was there, had to be.

It was still raining, the clouds relentless as they released drops that poured gently down his face and body, and Neteyam thought the Great mother was crying, mourning the love being washed away like a pebble in the river of the clearing, just like he was.

You were there, of course you were. A current shocked Neteyam at the sight of you. This was the first time he has seen your human body in months, and he found it hard to reconcile the image of you he has known all his life with this current one. You were incredibly thin, so thin, whereas a few months ago he could trace your muscles, he could now trace your bones. You were pale, almost ashen, and the hair that he once spent so long admiring was now brittle and dull, obvious even as it was, wet and clinging to your back. You looked lifeless. He felt a lump form in his throat and tears pool in his eyes that were still not dry from all the pain this day has brought.

You didn’t notice him yet, your human ears much less sensitive than your Avatar, so you were just sitting on the riverbank with your chin resting on your knees, which were brought to your chest and your arms wrapped tightly around them. You were looking at the water, and it was like you weren’t actually there. You were in your own world, far from here, from this hurt.

“I was going to ask if it was true, what I heard Norm talk about in the tent today, but I think you’ve answered my question.”

Neteyam saw you flinch, and it felt like even that brought your weak frame pain. You were trembling when you looked at him, and your face made his own drop in shock. Your beautiful features, the blush in your cheeks, the glimmer in your eye, the pink of your lips, your animated expressions or raised eyebrows, were all gone. Your eyes looked glossed over and numb, your face looked ghostly and sunken, and Neteyam swore he could trace every blood vessel on your forehead and neck. The sight of you made whatever happiness or hope he had left dissolve and trickle down his bones, until it reached the ground where it was eventually buried, never to be seen again.

“I didn’t think I could make myself any clearer, Neteyam.”

“tell me it isn’t true. Tell me he’s lying; he’s making it up.”

“What part?”

“All of it.” Neteyam was angry now, trying to contain the temper rising in his chest.

“Tell me you’re not dying.”

“Norm has a big fucking mouth.”

“Can you for once in your fucking life just answer a question? This is fucking serious!”

You winced at his words, then struggled to get up, but did eventually and fully face him. The state of you hit him like bullets, piercing and scraping at his every organ, leaving bleeding wounds behind.

“It’s true”.

Crack, crack, crack. 

“When?”

“The night you gave me the guitar. I was so busy being in love with you I forgot to put the proper protection on, and I smashed a bottle of infected blood. It got in my mouth, in my nose.”

“I thought you were working on a cure.”

“Haven’t found it yet.”

“But you said you have something that kind of works, something to give people more time.”

“I’m human, it doesn’t work that way for us.”

“So, you’ve tried.”

You weren’t looking at him anymore, just staring at the ground in front of you, somewhere next to Neteyam’s feet.

“Tell me you have fucking tried.”

It thundered aggressively as Neteyam said that, and he saw you once again tremble at the loud sound. You have never been a jumpy person. You were the bravest person he knew. You were the strongest person he knew. It was unspeakable having to watch you now, sitting meekly in front of him, when just a few days ago you took the Iknimaya, taking the climb to the toughest tests known to the Omatikaya, doing it like it was nothing, just another day for you. To know that this is what was hiding underneath, this is what you hid from all of them, made him both impossibly miserable and strikingly enraged at the same time.

“TELL ME YOU HAVE TRIED.”

“NO, OKAY?? NO, I HAVEN’T FUCKING TRIED.” You were sobbing now, your tears washed away by the rain and wind as soon as they fell down your cheeks.

“Why?”

“Because I am tired. I want this to end.”

“I thought you were happy. I thought you were better. You seemed better in the Avatar.”

“I was better… in the Avatar. Because that wasn’t my life. That was just a beautiful dream, while my life was the never-ending nightmare. It was easy to pretend in that body. It was easy to be the version of myself everybody wanted me to be. But I have to live with the real me every night. And I don’t want to do it anymore.” The more you cried, the more Neteyam’s blood boiled in his veins.

“That’s such fucking bullshit.”

“You know what I think?”

“I think dying is fucking easy. It’s your easy way out.”

You looked up at his much larger frame incredulously, and he saw how your mood was starting to mirror his own.

“What did you just say? You think this is fucking easy for me?”

“Yes, I think it is. I think all you’ve done since your mum has died is take the easy way out. Put everything and everyone in your little bottom desk drawer, keeping everyone at a distance. Do you know how much mother and father suffered every time you refused to come out, to come to the village? My mother cried herself to sleep at the thought of you alone in that lab, at the thought that you preferred that soulless, empty place to her, to us. Did you know that?

You have not once opened that drawer, not once dealt with anything. All you do is numb yourself down, pretend you are fine and the issues you have suffered through do not exist. Well guess fucking what, Atan? They exist. And until you deal with that pain and let it pass over you and through you, you will always take the easy way out.

You have made me feel like the worst person in the world, for leaving, for lying to you. But what the fuck have you done, huh? You lied to me about dying, for weeks! About dying! What, was I supposed to find you dead one day and that was it? That was what I deserved from you, after all the blood, sweat and tears I gave you? You said I took your choice away. You wouldn’t have even given me a choice to say goodbye to the love of my life before you fucking died!

I left you for a year because I wanted to protect you, you are leaving permanently because you refuse to fuck deal with the pain and hurt I know you feel deep down inside. You had a choice. You could have come to the many people who love you, love you unconditionally, and told us, and let us in, and let us help you. You could have gotten help, taken the pills, fight your damn hardest to make this work, to find a cure, for the life your mum gave you, the life she would have to watch you throw away. You have a choice now. To want to live, to want to fight through this and come out the other side a new, better person. To let me love you, let people love you. To do the consciousness transfer and be with me, and be happy, forever. And you’re choosing this.

You are a coward.”

Neteyam turned on his heel and walked away, before he got a chance to see you collapse on the ground, giving your last few breaths in the place he used to imagine both of your children laying in his arms peacefully while you sang them to sleep.

Tag list (I hope I didn't miss anyone, thank you so much for asking to be tagged <3): @nuhteyam @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi @puffb4ll @sassy-persona @simp4ff @mommyneytiri @inomoikawa @jackiehollanderr @jaysarchiv3 @meivap @dakotali @hlhl99 @eskamybeloved @erenjaegerwifee @winchestertitties

MY HEART

THE LOVE YOU GET IS EQUAL TO THE LOVE YOU GIVE | PART THREE

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x f!Reader Warnings/Tags: 18+ mdni, aged up characters, arranged marriage, rough sex, unprotected sex, creampies, car handjob + fingering, angst continues Word Count: 4.5k

Summary: Things start to heat up between you and Katsuki and you think things are getting better, but when something happens to put you in the villain’s crosshairs, Bakugou finds it hard to open up to you, thinking he’s protecting you by keeping you in the dark.

Part One // Part Two // Part Three //

It had been a couple days since your failed attempt at dinner had interrupted your first real intimate moment with Katsuki since your wedding night, and you were determined to try again.  

Getting off work early, you stopped at the store on the way home and began cooking as soon as you returned, tying Katsuki’s apron around your waist and triple checking the recipe.  You wanted everything to be perfect for him when he got home.

To your surprise, everything was coming together well, and a delicious smell filled the kitchen instead of acrid smoke.  Incredibly pleased and rather proud of yourself, you checked your phone, grinning at the text from Bakugou that he was on his way.

However, as soon as your phone chimed with a second notification, your smile faltered.  

Kirishima: Hey, just thought I’d warn you.  Not exactly a great day for Baku-bro.

‘What happened?’ you quickly typed back, your stomach twisting uncomfortably.  ‘Is he alright??’

The seconds it took for Kirishima’s reply felt like ages and you stared at the three little dots with dread.

He had to be alright, you thought, trying to calm your racing heart.  He’d texted you, so he couldn’t be hurt.  His message was curt, but that’s just how he texts.

Keep reading

Fear of Falling ... Masterlist

HICCUP HORRENDOUS HADDOCK III x FtM!Reader

(can be read as just masc!reader except for the end of part 2 )

You’re a carpenter in New Berk, a town you’re helping to build. You live alone, eat alone, and- well, you’re fine with it. Really. Even in a town this big, constantly expanding with more people, you couldn’t feel more alone than you do. Having recently been disowned by your family, you’re now trying to build yourself a new life in the one place you knew they wouldn’t go. Why? Well, the dragons that seem to be everywhere for starters.  Chief Hiccup was someone who, for the longest time, hardly ever could be found around old Berk. He was the closest to his dragon, to all dragons, and took to the air like a Viking to sea. However, building a new town from the ground up required a certain amount of responsibility. That, and you’ve heard rumours of his dragon taking some time away to get to know his new mate. With Hiccup now forced to stay in town, where would he go to get away from all of his Chiefly duties now? Somewhere unexpected, where no one would guess to look. Who were you, anyway? A slight-AU of after the third movie. Instead of making it to the edge of the world, and letting all the dragons leave to go live there, the dragons instead decided to stay with the people they’ve grown close to. Nothing can come between the bond of dragon and rider.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Archive of our Own

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE... (coming soon)

TAG LIST: @lecoindetobi , @gored-to-be-here

I'm reposting this before I even read it because i'm excited about it but have work So I want to be able to find it later

TITLE: do you still think about me?

PAIRING: Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

SUMMARY: Okay, so you had the biggest, most embarrassing crush on Bakugou when you were both in high school. He was kind of your first love, if you believe in those kinds of things. But you got over it. It's fine.

You see Bakugou sometimes at hangouts, at get-togethers. He's in your orbit, or you're in his, because of your mutual friends. You're all adults now, so it's fine. It's a little weird, but fine.

You're supposed to be on vacation, at a place that's hours away from Musutafu. You're not sure what you've done to deserve it, but Bakugou's here too. And instead of both of you pretending the other doesn't exist, as usual, he's talking to you. He's everywhere. It's fine.

(It's not fine.)

TAGS: pro hero Bakugou Katsuki, aged-up characters, friends to lovers (being generous with that friends label lol), fluff, pining, eventual smut

The ryokan’s lobby is bustling, voices a soft buzz echoing through the space. Some guests are like you, waiting for check-in, and other guests are partaking in the complimentary drinks and snack bar. It all calls to mind vacations you went on with your family, growing up. 

Sighing, you sink into an armchair, letting the fatigue from a long trip on a train and subsequent car ride sink in, shed off. 

“Here,” Rie says, setting a cup of tea and a cookie on the table in front of you. She sits in the chair across from you. “You’re grumpy because you haven’t had any sugar today. Eat these. There’s more up front, at the snack bar.” 

“Thanks mom,” you say, and she leans forward to flick you on the forehead. You wince. 

“Just because we’re friends doesn’t mean you can get away with your sass. Especially while we’re on vacation,” she tells you, then lifts her own cup of tea to her lips. You scrunch your face up at her. 

Her eyes flick past you, and she blinks rapidly. You recognize that expression—up to no good. 

“Oh hey,” she says, affecting a casual tone. “Look who just walked in.” 

Rie waits for you to look, but you’re not so easily led around. You narrow your eyes at her. She raises a brow at you. A moment passes. 

Your curiosity’s too strong. You turn and regret it. 

It’s Bakugou. Bakugou Katsuki. What the hell is he doing here?

You immediately swing back around, scowling deeply. You can feel your ears getting warm. 

She gives you a Cheshire grin, finger gunning you. “It’s your first love.”

“Rie, I will leave.” 

She scoffs. “Yeah, right. And miss out on the massages we booked? The onsen? I don’t think so.”

“You don’t know what I’m capable of,” you say darkly. 

She snickers, tilts her head at you. “You don’t want to say hi?” 

“Not really, no,” you say. “And if you call him over, I’ll kill you. Hanta will be sad, but he’ll get over it.” 

Rie laughs. “I don’t know about that. He is dating me, after all.”

“I’ve known him longer. He’ll forgive me.” 

The two of you switch over your attention to an approaching receptionist. 

“Thank you so much for waiting,” he says. “Your room is ready now. Please follow our staff. We’ll take care of your bags.”

You let them take your luggage, too distracted by staying out of Bakugou’s line of sight to pay attention to the small talk the receptionist’s making. Thankfully Rie’s chatting cheerfully with him, leaving you to your task. 

As you enter a hallway leading off the lobby area, you catch a last glimpse of Bakugou. He’s speaking to a staff member at the front desk area, presumably checking in. He’s alone. You wonder if anyone will be joining him, or if he’s here by himself. 

Shaking your head, you push away those thoughts. It’s none of your business. This ryokan’s rather large, and it’s popular with tourists and locals alike. You doubt you’ll see him again during your stay. 

You stare doubtfully at the email Sero forwarded you, then look up at him, your eyebrows furrowed. 

“Hanta, this is a luxury onsen ryokan. And you want me to go with Rie? Why aren’t you going?”

Sero claps his hands together in front of his face. “Please? The agency denied my time off request because we’re so busy. You gotta know how busy we are, even holed up in your office.” 

You frown at him. “The agency denied you? That’s crazy. You haven’t taken time off the whole year.” 

“I know, right? Anyway, Rie doesn’t want to go alone, and the reservation at this place is only valid for so long. Cancelling’s not an option.” 

You frown. “If they denied you, they’ll probably deny me too, Hanta.” 

“Noooo, it doesn’t hurt to put in the request! Plus, you haven’t gone on vacation in years. Treat yourself! This can be my months-in-advance birthday gift to you.”

You try one last time. “Are you sure Rie even wants to go with me? I know you want this to be a surprise, but maybe you should ask her if there’s anyone else she’d want to go on a trip with.”

Sero gives you a look, as if you’d just said something unbelievably stupid. “I’m not even going to respond to that.” 

You snort, smiling. “Alright, alright. Thanks, Hanta. I’ll take all the pictures of Rie and send them to you if the agency does grant me the time off.”

Sero slings an arm around your shoulders. “Thanks, bud.” 

“I miss Hanta,” Rie says, collapsing on her back onto the bed. 

You push both of your bags to the side, to be unpacked later. The entire far wall of your room’s lounge area is glass, with a door leading out to the outdoor area and open-air bath, and you give in to your urge to step outside onto the wood, deck-like floor. 

The bath rises from the floor to your right, rectangular, spacious. The staff member told the both of you it’s fed from the onsen, and the steam it’s giving off dissipates into the cool spring air. The bath and deck are built to overlook a large pond with koi swimming in it, giving the impression that where the deck ends the water begins. The far side of the pond is lined with trees and shrubbery. Wooden partitions on either side of this area enclose the space, giving it a sense of privacy. 

It’s absolutely gorgeous. And it’s so quiet here. Aside from the ambient water sounds from the onsen on the property, birdsong from the nearby forested area, there’s little to interrupt this emerging feeling of serenity. 

“You saw him literally before we left,” you say. “Rie, come out here and look at this view. I call dibs on using the bath first.” 

“You could be more sympathetic. We haven’t been able to see each other much this month,” she grumbles, but she comes out to join you anyway. 

“Okay, you can use the bath first,” you tell her. 

She grins at you, bumping her shoulder against yours. “Thanks, friend.”

“The things I do.” You don’t really mind. You have the entire long weekend to enjoy this place. The peace and quiet are already doing wonders for the tension in your shoulders.

A twinge of guilt passes you in a wave. After the staff member who’d escorted you to your room had given you both a short tour of the space, it really hit you how expensive this all was. 

“Rie, you really should’ve come here with Hanta,” you tell her, frowning. “He should’ve pushed for the time off or adjusted the reservation. This is way too nice of an experience to pass up.”

Rie snorts. 

“Don’t stress,” she says. “You think he didn’t try all that? It was either keep the reservation with someone else or lose out on a lot of money. I wanted you to come, so don’t overthink, silly.”

You lean your arm against hers. “Thanks, Rie. I’ll get you and Hanta something nice for your birthdays.”

She hums, and the two of you lapse into silence, appreciating the birdsong, the late afternoon sun gilding the pond, the surrounding trees in warmth. 

“So, what’s up with you and Bakugou?” Rie asks. “I thought you worked out all those feelings for him back in high school.” 

And there goes all that peace. You groan, turning and heading back inside, grabbing your bag and starting to unpack your clothes. Rie follows you, sprawling out onto your bed this time to be as annoying as possible. 

“I did,” you say, because not answering would result in incessant pestering. Better to nip this conversation in the bud so it doesn’t come back up again while you’re on this trip. You tell her, “We’re cool. You know that. You go to the same get-togethers.”

Since graduating from UA, you’d kept in touch with Sero, who you’d met because he’d been the hero you’d been assigned to for the management course’s third year project. You became good friends, as Sero’s one of those good boys, best boys, genuinely kind and fun to talk to. 

Through your friendship with him, you’d met some of his friends—Kaminari, Kirishima. Mina, Sato. Bakugou. 

While you’d befriended the others pretty easily, Bakugou was a different story. And it wasn’t necessarily his fault. He’d chilled out considerably by your third year.

It was because of your cringey, super obvious crush on him during your first year. 

You were so painfully obvious about it, everyone in your class knew. It didn’t take long for kids in the other courses to take notice. When Bakugou entered a room you were in, you would freeze and forget what you were saying. You’d sneak glances at him, and your entire body would warm up if your eyes met. Even thinking about it now, as an adult, makes you want to die a little.

Thankfully, whether it was because he chose to willfully ignore you or because he just never found out, your crush ran its course. It helped a lot that you began interacting with Bakugou within social circles because of Sero; it humanized him, made him real to you. The fantasy of a crush can’t survive knowing someone, getting to know them, you found. 

Still, probably because of that history, you never got close to Bakugou, while at UA and after. You were too embarrassed, and now you’re just not super interested. If you don’t count this past year, since graduation, you’ve seen him only a handful of times, always in passing and never one-on-one. 

But if you do count this year, specifically the past six months, you’ve seen him a lot. 

At a get-together at Mina’s place. At Todoroki Shouto’s birthday a couple months back. At a dinner with Rie, Sero, Kirishima, and Mina a few weeks ago. You figure he’s had some free time open up, to accept the hangout invites that he once left unresponded to in the group chat. It’d make sense, since he’s at this ryokan when everyone knows he’s a workaholic. 

You’re happy for him. Work-life balance is super important. And you guys aren’t getting any younger.

“No, you guys are weird together,” Rie says. 

You throw a pillow at her. To your annoyance, she catches it easily. 

“What do you mean by weird?” you ask.

“I don’t know. It’s hard to describe. He always looks like he’s bitten into a lemon when he sees you.”

You roll your eyes. “Great. Can we stop talking about Bakugou now?” 

“Last question, I swear.” 

“Last question for the entire trip about him,” you say, narrowing your eyes at her. 

She sighs, as if this is a huge burden on her. “Deal. I was just thinking—what did you even see in him when we were teenagers?”

“Okay, but why are you thinking about this at all,” you say. 

“Just answer the question.”

“It’s not that deep,” you say, shrugging. “I liked his face.” 

“Really?” Rie’s expression, disgruntled and appalled, makes you laugh. 

“Don’t act like he’s not objectively really attractive. He’s handsome, be real.”

“Maybe to some people,” she relents. “But his personality cancels it out, carry the two.” 

“He’s mellowed out so much over the years,” you say. You feel a little odd, finding yourself defending him. “He’s sweet, when he wants to be. Remember how he got Mina that bracelet she wanted so badly, for her birthday? Or how he picked up those special oranges for Hanta when he went on that one mission?”

Rie looks at you for a long moment. As your words settle into the silence, you begin to feel self-conscious. But it’s not like what you’d said isn’t true. Rie knows this. 

Just as you open your mouth to no doubt incriminate yourself further, she leans back on the bed and closes her eyes. “I guess you’re right. You done folding those clothes? I’m hungry. Let’s get dinner. Hanta says it’s kaiseki.”

Dinner is absolutely delicious. Your server tells you and Rie that the chef’s designed the menu to feature ingredients native to the region, ingredients in season. Everything’s fresh, and even dishes you aren’t normally particularly fond of have you cleaning your plate. You feel spoiled. 

You take lots of pictures. Of the dishes, of Rie. You send them to Sero. 

Hanta: The food looks great! My girl looks even better!!! Send more pics pls

Rie’s pleased when you show her the messages. After fussing over her appearance, she makes you take a picture of her in your room’s outdoor bath, hair elegantly twisted up and off her shoulders, the ambient lighting softly illuminating her face. 

“I’m going to take a walk, see what that little bamboo garden looks like at night,” you tell her. She waves at you with one hand, tapping away at her phone, no doubt sending messages to Sero. 

“Don’t drop your phone in the water,” you say, and she makes an impatient sound, shooing you.

Smiling, you leave her to it. 

Now that it’s nighttime, the ryokan is quieter, more subdued. It’s easy enough to find the bamboo garden. The paths are brightly illuminated, the walkways clear and easy to take. Maybe because it’s the evening, but you encounter few people. Most are partaking in the onsen, unwinding after a long day, you guess. You plan to do so yourself, but you stumble across a dimly lit sitting area overlooking a small pond and waterfall. It’s pretty, and you can’t resist lingering. Taking a seat on a bench, you let your mind empty as you watch the glimmer of moonlight on the water. 

“Hey,” a voice says behind you, and you startle, turning. 

Bakugou’s standing there, looking uncharacteristically soft and undone in the onsen’s yukata. His hair is a little damp, spikes fallen. 

Seeing him in traditional wear takes you aback; you’ve only ever seen him in casual clothes—jeans, shirts, sweats. His hero suit, all sleek lines. The yukata’s a good look on him. 

“Oh hey, Bakugou,” you say, then hesitate, feeling awkward. What to say? Should you pretend this is the first you’ve seen of him here? 

While you flounder a little, Bakugou walks over to sit in a chair nearby, facing the water. You’re bewildered at this turn of events. You’re surprised he stopped to say hello, let alone sit and have a conversation with you.  

“Saw you and Soy Sauce Face’s girlfriend at dinner,” he says. “You on vacation?” 

Blinking, relieved, you reply, “Sort of. Long story short, Hanta was supposed to come out here with Rie, but work denied his time off. So I’m the replacement Hanta.” 

Bakugou looks at you. His eyes narrow. You shift in your seat, feeling a little bit like a bug under a microscope. Did you say something weird?

“What about you?” you ask, trying to lift the focus off of you. “You here on vacation?”

“...Yeah. For the weekend,” he says, looking back at the pond, exhaling sharply.

For someone on vacation, he doesn’t look too happy about it, you note. 

“Us too,” you tell him. “What do you think of the ryokan? I haven’t gotten the chance to explore yet, but what I’ve seen is gorgeous. Did you just use the public onsen?” 

“It’s alright,” Bakugou grumbles, and you blink, face scrunching up in incredulity. 

“You must have really high standards to say that, sir,” you say, and he snorts. An expression you can’t quite make out in the low light crosses his face, fades. He really is a handsome bastard, you find yourself thinking. 

He says something you don’t quite catch. 

“Sorry?” you say. Internally, you scold yourself for your idle thoughts. Another part of you argues back that there’s no harm in looking. 

“How’d you know I used the onsen?” he repeats, looking a little annoyed.

“Oh,” you say, surprised. Without thinking, you lean forward, reaching out to touch his hair. 

Bakugou turns his head sharply; he grabs your wrist on what seems like instinct, halting you. You freeze, mortified.

“I’m sorry!” you say hastily. He drops your hand immediately, like you’re contaminated. You draw back. Flustered, you continue, “It’s just—your hair’s still a little wet. I took a guess. Sorry again, I don’t know what I was thinking.” 

You were treating him like he’s Hanta, or Rie, as if you’re close friends. Jeez. 

“Forget it,” he says gruffly. 

There’s a long stretch of silence, and you begin to think of excuses to make to escape. 

Just as you open your mouth with one, he says, “What’re you doing tomorrow?” 

“I—I think Rie wanted to check out the town’s morning market, and the temple nearby,” you say. “She likes to sleep in, so we’ll probably do that after my morning run. The staff said there’s a scenic walking trail through the forest, so I’ll probably check it out.”

You force your mouth closed before the rambling continues. Wait, you should ask him the same, right? To be polite?

But before you can say anything, Bakugou grunts, then stands. 

“Go back to your room,” he tells you. “It’s getting late.”

With that, he leaves. You sit there for a long moment, staring after him.

“Hey, welcome back,” Rie says from her bed, covered from nose to toes in a blanket. Her eyelids droop in a way that tells you she’s minutes from sleep. “You were gone for a while.”

“Yeah, sorry,” you say, closing the door behind you. Woodenly, you begin to gather clothes to change into. “I’m going to take a quick shower, okay? Go ahead and sleep; don’t wait up for me.”

“Mmkay,” she says, eyes already closed. 

You move around as quietly as you can, getting ready for bed. 

All the while, you can’t help but think about the conversation you just had. About Bakugou.

For the past couple months, at gatherings with mutual friends, it’s been like this when you talk to each other. Awkward, with a strange underlying tension. You’re not sure if it’s your fault, or his, but. You wish you could be normal around him. It’s only like this with him.

As you climb into bed, getting settled, the memory of him in his yukata flashes across your closed eyelids. The moonlight on his face, cooling the red of his eyes. His hand around your wrist.

Fuck. 

Notes: Hello friends! This fic is a very belated birthday fic for our guy, my little muse 🧡 This is intended to be a twoshot, and I hope to have that second part up next weekend. Please look forward to it!

A couple notes, as there are some specifically Japanese items referenced in this fic:

A ryokan is a Japanese-style inn! Onsen are hot springs. So an onsen ryokan is an inn that features hot springs on the property. Here, here, and here are videos you can enjoy of people visiting some.

Kaiseki is a multi-course, traditional Japanese dinner. Some of the videos I linked above show the kinds of kaiseki offered!

Thank you for reading! Hugs and kisses 💕 Until part two!

"What would you do Hero? The girl? Or the city?" "THE CITY" "Oh? So you would sacrifice one for all? Oh honey, *turns to kidnapped partner, small smirk* I would kill them all just for you,"

superhero romance is actually so fun because what does “I would die for you” mean from a guy who would die for anyone?

Out There

Neteyam x Reader, Ao'nung x Reader,

Summary: How do you tell your child the reason you fear the world now, that's where Ao'nung helps fill in the pieces.

Warning: Mentions of character death, Neteyam and Readers daughter is basically Moana from Disney, Ao'nung is stepfather, angst, depression mentions, Post Partum Depression is mentioned,

Note: Was requested from @lazyfnafvideogamesparty I hope you like it!

When you had first met Neteyam as children, you felt the universe pull you two together. Your eight year old self could remember the silly crush you had on him, merely from watching him practice and train with his father and brother.

You found the way he drew his bow back to be an art form, the way his body stood still like a statue waiting for the perfect moment before letting a breath release and the arrow go flying to hit its target dead center. You yourself were training to be a warrior, making the perfect excuse to talk to him and ask for 'tips' when really you would waste the day away laughing and goofing off other.

Neteyam never thought he had to be perfect around you, just himself. The way you would grin while flying your Ikrans together, the breeze blowing your hair back to show him the beautiful face you possessed made him go crazy. The nights you two would sneak under the stars and in the forest, whispering anything and everything to eachother.

Eywa had shown a blessing on you two when under the starry night at seventeen years old, two seedlings had drifted in front of you both. Both seeming to do a dance as they twirled around you and Neteyam, bringing eachother closer, eyes meeting in love and infatuation with one another.

That night you both had mated in front of Eywa, his family and yours happy for the both of you, knowing you two were the best Warriors the clan had to offer, you completed eachother.

However, when the war started back only a year later and forced you to flee to the ocean islands, did everything change for the worst. You and the siblings had to learn the way of water to survive, Neteyam making it bearable as you would work hard during the day but at night you would sneak off together to have a moment of peace and forget everything.

Neteyam and you had impressed some of the warriors in the water clan, showing your strength and bow skills, you were a power couple. Ao'nung would even praise you, even if he tried to play it off as, 'Average for Forest Dwelers,'.

The friendship you three had was something many longed for in their lifetime, Ao'nung and Neteyam had become like brothers during the hard times, leaning on each other in times of doubt and sorrow. You were always there to lift your mates spirits, Ao'nung feeling happy to know you and Neteyam fit eachother perfectly.

Only if it could last forever.

When you had found out you were pregnant, you couldn't wait to tell Neteyam, the grin on your face had you practically glowing. When you began to search for Neteyam, a horn had sounded, calling warriors to action as the Sky People had began another assault.

Pregnant or not, you were going to fight. Sky People weren't going to scare you away, not now, not ever.

Flying into battle, you let out a war cry as you pulled your bow back, firing arrows and taking out Sky People machines left and right. Smoke rising from the part left crashed into the sea and rocks by your hand.

Glancing to your left, you spotted your beloved firing arrows the same as you, causing a cheerful yell escape which caught his attention. You both raised a hand to signal excitement to one another, only for the world to freeze as a bullet shot through Neteyam.

A Sky Person had taken a shot at him with their last breath, your smile quickly morphing into a shock filled gape. The air couldn't escape your lungs, and you couldn't see clearly past the tears that fell rapidly down your face.

Landing your Ikran, you sprinted towards Neteyam who laid on the ground surrounded by other Na'vi. "Neteyam! MaNete!" You cried, falling to your knees beside him on the rock as he gasped for breath.

"Ma(Y/n), I'm sorry," he coughed out, body going ridged from pain and slowly losing oxygen. "No! Not like this! We have so much to do, I love you Neteyam!" You felt your voice waver as you brought his hand to your face, cradling to your cheek as your eyes strained on Neteyams beautiful yellow.

Neteyam could only stutter out one last saying, "I love you," before he suddenly lost eye focus, body going slack and his hand that was in yours going limp.

"NO!" You screamed, ears pinned back and tail whiping wild as you felt your soul break. "Neteyam!" You wailed, "Please Great Mother, not him! Not Neteyam!" You begged, Ao'nung appearing to freeze at the sight.

His best friend was gone, you now grief stricken. He could only lay a hand on your back in comfort as your screams and wails echoed up to Eywa.

Neteyam will never know his child, never know he even had one. All because of the damn Sky People and their greed.

~.~

Sixteen years had passed since that horrible day, your own vibrant life had been ripped away from you. You felt hollow inside, the only warmth you held was for your child and Ao'nung, who stepped in to help raise her.

When your daughter was born, you could only cry as she looked just like her father. Many commented that she would be a great warrior like him, but you would die before she ever saw war. You vowed to protect her, to never let her see a Sky Person or the death and turmoil that was associated with them.

"Unipey! Where are you going?" You asked, watching your daughter try and sneak off. "Mama, I'm just going for a ride, I will be back before Eclipse!" "Not today, there were some sights of Sky People, you will remain here where I can keep an eye on you!" You ordered, watching the frustration build up on her face.

"So what? I have trained, I know how to handle myself," Unipey was so tired of being treated like a child, she was one trial away from adulthood and yet you made it seem like she would break with one wrong step.

"I do not care, you will not leave this Island, go help the weavers make baskets or the healers with their herbs," Unipey pinned her ears back, frustration brimming under her side eye glare but she nodded, stomping back to the way you both had just come from.

When she disappeared from view, you let out a sign, "You're being too tough on her, you can't protect her forever," Ao'nung came up behind you, his hands coming to rest on your shoulders. You felt yourself lean back into him, looking for support.

When Unipey was born, you had fallen into a depression, Ao'nung was there everyday to help. It felt like betraying Neteyam, but Eywa had sent a sign that you both could rely on eachother. It wasn't until Unipey was almost a toddler that you allowed yourself into Ao'nungs arms every night.

"She will be fine, I need her to understand why I need her close by," you gazed up at him, feeling a rush of emotions, "she is all I have left of him. I can't lose her too," you whispered, head nuzzling into his chest as he allowed you to silently cry.

"Would you like for me to talk to her? I don't want to stress you out," his hand placed on your stomach, where you were beginning to show from another life inside. One you and Ao'nung had created.

"Please, before Great Mother doesn't stop me from snapping her teeth that she keeps barring at me," you hiccuped, feeling lost and confused with what to say to your daughter. Unipey really was like Neteyam, always head strong and knew what to do. Fearless too.

~.~

"Mama doesn't know what she's talking about, I know how to handle myself! Boys and other girls younger than me can go out on hunting parties and recon trips, but I'm stuck at home like...like a toddler!" Unipey ranted, pacing back and forth in front of the beach. Her toes just barely touching the water and foam.

"Unipey, come sit," Ao'nung appeared, taking a seat on a nearby rock and patting a spot beside him, beckoning her over. Unipey groaned, trudging through the sand and ploping herself down next to him.

"You know what your Mother does, she does-" "with love, yes Papa, you've told me, like, a hundred times," her yellow eyes couldn't roll any further back, Ao'nung silently chuckling as the face she made reminded him so much of Neteyam.

"Unipey, your Mother was once like you, always wanting to venture out and see what there was to see," Ao'nung paused for a moment, "Even your father would go-" "Why do you have to bring him into this? I don't even know him, I know of him, but i..don't know him," Unipey looked down, ears twitching in sadness.

Unipey has heard her whole life what an amazing person her father was, yet she would never get to experience that. She's heard many a tale about how both of her parents were the best warriors around, but her mother only acted like a scared guppy.

"Because he is the reason your mother protects you how she does," Ao'nung firmly stated, Unipey looking up at him with slight doubt.

"Your Mother used to fly into battle with the world on her shoulders, so free and wild. Many would yell in excitement knowing that she would be there to protect them and help guide the way to victory. Your Father was always beside her, both a view of fearlessness and ferositicy," Ao'nung couldn't help but think back to those good days, the days when you three would tear havoc in battles side by side.

"But your mother, she couldn't save your father," Ao'nung felt his tail twitch with anxiety, his eyes feeling the pressure of unshed tears. Unipey felt every muscle tense up, she had never heard that before.

"Sky People had come, your Mother had just found out about you. (Y/n) was so excited, she tried to rush to tell him but was called to fight, they saw eachother on the battle field, but the Sky People bad taken your father from before her eyes," Ao'nungs voice cracked, a small tear rolling down his face as he remembered the wails that had escaped your mouth that day.

"So you see, she can't lose you too. I think you both are wrong in your ways of going about this whole thing, but your Mother just doesn't want to go through that pain again," Ao'nung looked to Unipey who's eyes held tears, a crushed look on her face.

"Mama, is scared not of war, but to lose me?" Unipey felt her world crashing down, she had held so much anger and resentment toward her Mother, but now all she felt was regret and guilt. Regret for the days she cursed her mother to the air around her, wishing for nothing more than her mother to go away. Guilt for being selfish and not asking why.

"You both long for the thrill of battle and war, but she had experienced the rough side that you haven't yet, so not hate her for trying to keep you safe," Ao'nung brought Unipey in for a quick hug before shooing her off to you.

~.~

Unipey rubbed her hands together, peering around the corner to see her Mother packing away the fishing nets that were used for the day. "Mama?" Unipey called out, you turning to see your daughter standing with an almost scared yet shy stance. "Yes my love?" Unipey found herself drawing a blank, not knowing what to say next.

You stood, walking towards your child with a quick step, "What's wrong? If it's about earlier than-" Unipey threw her arms around you, her head tucked into your chest as she began to cry softly.

"I'm sorry Mama, I didn't know before," you brought your hands to caress her head, confusion closing your mind.

"What are you talking about? Are you hurt?" You pulled back, eyes scanning your daughters face for injuries but all you saw was a broken child needing comfort. "I didn't know about Father, about what you went through with him, I'm sorry for not listening," Unipey thought you would be upset with her, but she saw tears line your own eyes, as you brought her back in and hugging her to your body.

"No, no, it was not your fault. I never should've been so hard, I'm just terrified to lose you, war can be dangerous and it doesn't pick sides," you ran a hand through her hair, a specific bead braided in that was Neteyams. The one from when you both became mates, giving it to your child help remind you who she came from and who you two created.

"I just wanna be like Father, I've heard all these stories and I'm always compared to him, " Unipey sniffles, looking up to you from your embrace, "Please Mama, let me show that I'm my Father's Daughter,"

Ao'nung appeared behind your daughter, giving you a quirked eyebrow causing you to smile softly and nod.

"Alright, come. We will prepare for the next raid together," you took Unipeys hand, leading her to the pod your family resided in.

"What do you think Father would say if he was here?" Unipey wondered, looking to you, catching a small shift in your eyes as you thought back to your first love.

"That he's proud of you," you whispered, pressing a kiss to your daughters head.

Uh, I'm sorry. This needs more likes because, holy fuck. 😍 🥵

Hard Ren

Porn Star! Kylo Ren x Fem! Reader

Summary: Hard Ren is known for not cumming during his scenes until now.

A/N: I'm biting on the bars of my enclose while i write this.

Warning: NSFW, spitting, choking, role playing, rough, happy ending, ladies we are porn stars too!

Word Count: 3.3K

Border Credit: @cafekitsune

Anyone who watches porn knows who Hard Ren is. 

Hard Ren is known to have stamina like a fucking animal. He fucks like one and he’s good at it but what he is worldly known for is he never cums when he fucks. When he does cum it’s only when he’s masturbating.

Yeah, a porn star who doesn’t cum when fucking other people. Hard Ren has done interviews about it. He jokes about it and tells them that his cock hasn’t found the right person yet. This sparks something with the female porn star community because they all want to make him cum. None of them ever succeeded. 

“Kylo.” The dark haired man looked up from his phone when his manager, Hux stopped the car. 

“We’re here.” Kylo follows Hux out of the car and into the studio to his dressing room. Kylo performs his usual preparation before filming. 200 pushup and crutches. He curls his 150 pounds dumbbells along with lifting his barbell while Hux tells him more about the person he’s going to fuck. Kylo was in the middle of a rep when he heard Hux mumbling the name of the porn star. 

“What’s her name again?” 

“She’s new, you probably haven’t heard of her but she has a fan base already. Not ugly like the last one” Hux told him while typing on his phone. 

Finishing his usual preparation and getting dressed with the clothes laid out for him, Hux walks with him to the set. Kylo was fixing the sleeves of his blue jean button down shirt. He goes into the mind set as a teacher, that was the script. He's done this multiple times, he plays the college professor and the girl plays the student looking for extra credit. 

His head shot up when he heard laughter. Director Phasma is standing next to a woman. Phasma is showing her the story board with a pleased look. When he saw you, he’s starstruck, since you were the one that he watches when he does his masturbating videos. He plays it cool, of course but the moment you give you a smile. His cock is already hard. His most viewed video of him masturbating was thanks to you. He came on his chest to the video of you on a bed with your legs spread and your cunt of full display. He liked your moans and how you pout while playing with yourself. 

“I like your work.” You tell him as Hux and Phasma speak on the set. You look up at the 6’3 dark haired man while playing with your fingers nervously. 

Excitement ran up and down your body at the sight of him. “I like yours too.” 

You smile at his words. He runs a hand through his hair with a chuckle. “Especially the one with you on the bed.” 

"There's a lot of me on the bed." You said jokingly and he laughs. "I like them all." 

You blush at his words. He had seen your work. When the camera was ready, you and him got into place. 

“Please, Professor Hard Ren. I need this extra credit. I won’t pass the semester.” You begged him as you walked towards him. Ren was leaning against the edge of the desk with his arms crossed around his chest. You played with the bottom button of his shirt

“There might be something you can do for me.” Ren said, wrapping his arm around you pulling you close to him. 

“I’ll do anything.” You whispered as he leaned down, his large hands pulling the dress up to your hips. 

“Anything?” He asks as he cups your ass, giving it a good and hard squeeze for the camera, making you moan. He pulls you close to his chest as he tugs the thong to the side. 

“Fuck.” You hear him whisper.

About to do what you do best, you start to tug on his belt. Ren leans back when he notices what you were doing. He helps you while you unzip the black slack and goes down on your knees in front of him. Your mouth drops open as you stare up at him as you pull the slacks down to his ankles. He’s in full commando, and his cock almost smacks you in the face if you haven’t caught it first. His cock was thick and pink, his fat head is begging to be licked. 

Ren groans at the sight of your little pink tongue licking his cock. He grips the edge of the desk when you spit on his cock and start to use your spit as lube to start jerking him off with both hands. He tries his best to not shut his eyes because he wants to see you. He wants to see the moment you put his fat cock inside that little mouth. 

He moans out loud when you start to suck his cock, gagging, his thick girth stretching your mouth. 

“Fuckk.” Ren moans when he starts to move his hips forward, he uses a hand to hold the back of your head. He feels his balls tighten up when he sees your eyes filling up with tears. His thighs are wet from the drool and spit. He can see the spit dripping off the corner of your mouth. 

“Yes, gonna give you a good grade. Keep sucking you teacher's cock.” He tells you as you bob your head up and down on his cock. He sees your pretty face start to turn red and he pulls you off of his cock. He grabs his cock and pats it against your cheek then trace your lips with the head of his cock. 

“Open your mouth, show me that fucking tongue.” You obey and he taps the head of his cock on your tongue. 

“You’re so fucking hot. You know that.” Ren leans down to take your arms. Helping you up, you were shocked when he cups your cheek, bringing your face up close to him. He kisses you while he gently pushes against the desk making you sit on the edge

You look at him with wide eyes when he pulls away from your lips. He takes his shoes off and removes his pants as well. For a moment you forget about the camera when he takes his shirt off. He looks so good on video but in person, this man was sculpted. You can see every beauty mark on his skin. Looking at his abs, you looked further down, passing the light happy trail, you can see a vein aiming down to his cock. It took all the strength in you to not throw yourself in the ground to lick it. His cock stood out, proud and hard. 

He gets near you, grabbing you by the chin and kisses you again. He makes you spread your legs, pushing the dress up. He lets the camera panel over at your pussy when he pushes the thong to the side. Running his thick fingers run up and down your slick slit.

You don’t even pay attention to the camera behind him. His thick fingers rub your clit making you moan as he kneels down in front of your cunt. You feel those thick fingers slide into you.

He’s a messy and fast eater when it comes to pussy, he knows it but right now. He takes his time, he sees your cunt so many times while he comes. He couldn’t believe you were right in front of him. Looking so pretty with legs spread and your pussy practically pulsing. He kisses your mound enjoying the scent of your musk. He grins at the sound of you gasp when his nose hits your clit. He presses his lips against your lips. Licking your slick, he gets hard by how good you taste. 

He grins against your cunt when moan loudly. Your moans are heavenly to him, it sounds real and not fake as the others. He feels your fingers through his hair as you gently push his face against your cunt. Ren is pumping himself as he licks your cunt, he savors your taste. He looks up when he hears you call for him. He feels his heart flip inside his ribcage when you look down at him. He whines when your hand on his hair goes down to cup his face. Ren doesn't let you speak, he quickly stands up from his knees to kiss you.

You look over his shoulder when he starts to kiss your neck. Phasma waves her hand at you, signaling you that it's fine you didn't have to say your line. You couldn’t do it even if you tried. Ren was taking control, removing your dress for you. 

“Prettiest fucking tits.” He says as he leans down to kiss your breast. You blush when he practically pulls the desk close to him so he can get near you. 

“I want to fuck you so bad.” He says as he looks at you, his hands grab a hold of your hips, spreading your legs open. 

“You can.” You told him looking up at him with a smirk, batting your eyelashes. 

“I’ll do anything for a good grade, Professor Ren.” You said as your hands grabbed his throbbing cock, slowly jerking him off, rubbing the tip of his cock with your thumb. 

“Jesus Christ.” Ren moans when you use the other hand to grasp his balls, pulling them softly. You watched as he stood still as you kept touching him, he threw his head back, you bit your bottom lip as you watched his tense up. 

“Come here.” He tells you, you gasped when he wrapped your legs around his waist. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he picks you up from the desk and walked over the couch on the other side of the office set. You hear him whisper close to your ear, he tells you to relax, he won’t drop you. 

The camera zooms on to your ass when Ren sits down on the couch, holding you tight on his lap. His big hands grasp your ass, pulling your cheeks apart showing your holes.

“Can I ride you, please?” You asked him and he grins, nodding as he leans back a bit. He smiles when he notices the excitement on your face. Quickly getting back to work, he groans as you spit on his cock, rubbing it up and down on his shaft. 

“Just like that.” He praised you when you rose up and gently sat on his cock. His eyes never left your face, he wanted to see that look on your face when his fat cock splits you open. He bites his bottom lip when he sees your face, that same face you give to the camera when your pussy is being stuffed.

He holds your hips when you start to bounce on his cock. He thrust upward making you cry out, he grins and does it again. You place a hand on his chest, making him stay in place but Ren being much bigger than you does it again making you whine. 

“Can’t take it? Huh? Can't take your professor's big cock?” Ren asks you. He chuckles when you nod, pushing yourself on his chest then sliding back down. He grabs your arms pulling into his chest as he grunts sliding further down on the couch so the camera can go under him. 

“Good girl.” He shouts as he started thrusting upward like crazy making you moan as he fucks you hard. Your ass bounces every time he thrusted up to you. Your poor pussy being stretched wide up, the camera zooms in to see Ren’s cock sliding in and out of your pussy. Your slick is running down his shaft to his balls. 

Your face is squished against his hard chest as he rams into you. He holds you down with one arm and the other, he brings it up to your face making him look up at you. 

His nose bumps with yours and you see him going in for a kiss. 

“You feel so good.” You whispered against his lips then kiss him. You moan when his hand grips your hair making you wince when he pulls it. 

He shakes his head, “No, you do.” He licks his lips as he continues with his thrusts. He hears you moan loudly, it sounds so soft exactly like the video he uses of you. 

“Rub your pussy for me.” He doesn’t wait for you to respond. You squeal when he grabs you and pushes himself up. He lifts you and drops you on your back. The camera man moves standing behind him, zooming into your face. 

Spreading your legs wide, you’re smiling at Ren as he jerks himself off. His eyes are wide as he stares at you. He gets turned on even more by how much you're enjoying yourself, looking so pretty rubbing your cunt in front of him. You bring your knees to your chest as close as you can. Your arms go under your knees and you rub your clit, giving it soft smack making you moan. 

Your fingers don't feel as good as his, you finger yourself while looking at him. He’s staring at your cunt then back at your face. You stick your tongue out at him as you give your cunt another slap making him groan. 

You’re giddy with excitement when he comes over to you, he man handles you pushing your knees further back and lowers himself. You squeal when he smacks the head of his cock on your cunt. 

“How bad do you want an A+?” He asks you, raising a brow at you. 

“Really bad, professor. I want it. Please.” You pouted at him. 

You know he does it on purpose, he just looks down at you with a smug look on his face as he slides his cock up and down your slit painfully slowly. You huff at him and grab his cock, surprising him. 

“I want that A+, sir!” You cry out pushing his cock at your entrance. You look at him with a pleading look and Ren thinks he just died and gone to heaven. 

You keep on surprising him, taking control like that, grabbing his cock like you own it. Fuck, you practically did already. All of his masturbation videos ended with him cumming so much because he was looking at your videos. Of course the viewers didn’t know that, the cameras were always aiming at him, at his lower half. 

“I’ll give you that A. Imma fucking give it to you.” You cry out when he thrusts into your cunt in one harsh thrust. Ren doesn’t pay attention to the camera under him, all he can stare is your face, your tits bouncing by his harsh thrusts. You were losing your grip under the your legs, trying your best to keep them to your chest. 

Ren wants to feel you cum, he wants you to cum on his cock. What a dream would that he thinks to himself as he brings a hand to your clit, rubbing your slick over it. He’s rough with it, making you grin as you shut your eyes with pleasure. 

“Chock me.” You cry to him as you open your eyes to stare up at him. 

“You like that?” You nod quickly as he complies to your request. Ren groans loudly when he feels you clench around him when he grabs a hold of your neck, he can feel your heartbeat and it just makes him goes faster. 

“Oh-h-h fuck! Shit!” Ren shouts he holds the couch with one hand as he goes balls deep in you. He feels you holding his arm, his grip around your neck tighten and he throws his head back when he feels you cum. 

You are crying his name and that was it for him. It broke him completely. 

“Can-can I cum in you?” He shouts as he looks back at you. You’re staring up at him with teary eyes still feeling the hard orgasm you just had. 

“Yes.” You said meekly, he removes his hand from your neck and holds your chin. Keeping your head in place, staring up at him as he thrust into your sloppy pussy. 

In the corner of your eye, you see the director and the crew staring at both of you with wide eyes as Ren groans loudly. You can’t help but whine when he does one last harsh thrust. He moves the couch and he keeps you in place as he fills your womb with his hot milky cum. 

“F-fuck.” Ren moans as he releases your chin and slouches a bit. He cups your face as he tries to catch his breath. His thumb runs over your bottom lip and you do something that you have been craving to do since you saw his hands. Grabbing a hold of his wrist you stick his thumb in your mouth, sucking it as you stare up at him. 

He feels his knees go weak and he pulls away and sits down next to you with a grunt. He has his head throw back over the couch as he sits there, with his limp cock. 

Ren hears the camera man tell you to keep your knees to your chest. Phasma praises you and he opens his eyes to see you. You’re playing with his cum, rubbing his cum all over your cunt and mound. 

“Fuck yeah.” A crew member whispers when you scoop Ren’s cum dripping from your fucked hole up to your lips. You made a moaning sound as you tasted it, licking your lips seductively as the camera pans over to your face.

You walk out of the shower, thanking god that Phasma was a saint when it came to her workers. She had a shower installed in the dressing rooms. You really didn’t want to go home with cum dripping out of you. Your manager had applaud to you and said Hard Ren just came because of you. 

Feeling amazing after the hot shower, you got dressed with the extra clothes your manager packed for you. Fixing your hair, you grabbed your phone, looking at the recent messages from your manager. You frowned because she had sent you a message saying that she was waiting for you in the parking lot then a few seconds later. She sent you a message saying there’s a surprise for you in the parking lot. 

You didn’t think much of it. You were still tired from having sex and you were starving. You just thought she was being like this because of the accomplishment you just did.

You walked to the exit still thinking about him, Ren. He was just as handsome in his videos and his cock was something to die for. You were feeling pretty good for making him cum. He looked so fucking hot cumming. 

Pushing the door open you walked to the parking lot and frowned when you saw your manager wasn’t there. 

“Hey.” You looked over your shoulder and saw Ren leaning against the building with a cigarette in his mouth. He’s wearing different clothes as well, dark jeans with boots and a graphic tee. He had a leather jacket on and his hair was damp. 

“Hi.” You answered back and he gave you a soft smile. 

“You hungry?” He asks, throwing the cigarette on the ground after blowing a puff of smoke. 

“Starving.” You tell him as he walks towards you. He bites his bottom lip and for a moment he looks a bit shy. 

“Me too. I know a place. Wanna come with me?” You nod at him and give him a smile. You start walking with him out of the parking lot when he tells you his first name, Kylo. 

So some of my friends shipped me and my friend (who is a guy) and they were 'aweing' and shit. They were saying stuff like, "THE SHIP MUST SAIL!" And "HAS THE SHIP SAILED YET?!" Well my best friend heard and was like, "I DO NOT APPROVE! I WILL BE THE ICEBERG TO YOUR TITANIC!!" Needless to say, this was about the best day of my life!