Types Of Kisses

Yes but I love you more…

(tag someone you love to mildly inconvenience them)

Sentence Prompts

“Are you even listening to me?”

“Where are your pants?”

“I laugh because I hurt inside.”

“Please refrain from shooting her, we need her for later.”

“You look like an open autopsy.”

“That’s french for ‘go away’.“

“You know, I would help, but making fun of you is so much more satisfying.”

“No, you silly goose, it’s magic!”

“Put me down!”

“How much did someone pay you to wear that?!”

“What did you just do?!”

“Stop filming me, moron!”

“It was all me, by the way.”

“Look at this, ACTION ROLL! They’ll never see it coming!”

“You know ‘give me a warning’ means let me know BEFORE they come in here!”

“I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not.”

“I may have mildly panicked…”

“Ooo, that must’ve hurt!”

“I am very, very bad under pressure!”

“Shut up, it’s fine, just chill, we’re fine, I’m fine, everything is cool, everything is good! We’re chill, nothing is happening and I am not freaking out, not at all, we’re FINE.””

“Now, not to be forward, but I love you.”

“I’m 72 different flavors of done with you.”

“Hey, on the ground there it says you’re a gullible shit.”

“It’s do or die, most likely die.”

“No it’s ‘Protect and Serve’ not ‘Get Rekt and Swerve’.”

“You make me smile.”

“Liam Neeson would do it.”

“Jail can’t stop me.”

“It’s four o'clock, don’t you think you should fuck off?”

“I remain confused.”

“As the wise Scooby Doo said; “Ruh Roh”.”

“I don’t know about you guys, but I feel fabulous.”

“Can someone shoot him?”

“Well this isn’t at all like High School Musical.“ 

“Quick, blend in!”

“At the moment, it seemed like a good plan, obviously it was not.”

“Well obviously nothing is going on here!”

“Can I help you?”

“Don’t be intimidated by my bloody and battered figure.”

“Is your name Bob? You look like a Bob.”

“KILL ME! KILL ME IN THE EYES!”

“Well that was unsettling.”

“Don’t judge me, but I may have murdered someone.”

“Why is there a picture of Steve Buscemi in your bathroom?!”

“My budget is 5 dollars, what are your recommendations?”

Reason to Live #2879

  Maybe one day I’ll have the courage to tell my friend that I have a huge crush on them. Maybe one day I’ll get to hold their hand and hold them and they’ll know about the butterflies I feel every time they smile at me. – Guest Submission

(Please don’t add negative comments to these posts.)

Random Prompts

- “You eat kitkats like a monster, honestly I don’t think I can love you anymore.” “At least I know how to cough into my elbow like a civilized being.”

- “Do you ever realize that we act like an old married couple sometimes?” “We are an old married couple…”

- “Do you know how to cook anything besides ramen?” “Totally.” “What?” “Um… microwave popcorn.”

- “You are so weak when it comes to spicy food.” “No I’m not.” “Name 1 spice you enjoy.” “Pepper counts, right?”

- “I would do anything to prove my love for you.” “Drink that entire bottle of hot sauce then.” “I don’t love you that much.”

- “Dude, you cry over everything.” “No I don’t.” “You cried when a fly you called your ‘friend’ flew out of the window, you left open.” “Listen, I just felt really close to Fred.” “IT WAS A FLY.”

- “Why do we have a dog? We didn’t have a dog before I left.” “Yeah, well, get with the times. Things change. Ugh, you’re just another old guy who doesn’t wanna accept that the world is changing.” “1, You’re older than me. 2, You still haven’t told me why we now have a dog.”

- “Hey, do you love me a lot?“ “Of course!” “Enough to give me your garlic bread?” “F**k no.”

person A: *has spent, like, 98% of his time trying to show B how much he loves him* person B: you like me?…..i had no idea… person A: 

college au otp prompts based loosely on my college experiences:

“i tried opening a bottle of wine with scissors and cut my hand really badly and you went to the bathroom to pee and found me bleeding all over the sink and i probably should have gotten stitches but we improvised” au 

“my friends found a shopping cart on campus and they were pushing me down hills in it and it got out of control and you were just walking by and i hit you im so sorry fuck im stuck in this cart i cant help you up im sorry you’re cute im sorry” au

“i got in a fake fight with my friend and you are the RA from the floor below and you walked upstairs to see what all of the noise was about and saw me pinned to the floor and shouting and you weren’t sure whether to call someone or not so you half-heartily tried to break us up and i accidentally punched you in the face” au

“we were both drunk and our friends ditched us and we were wandering around campus by ourselves at 1 am and ran into each other at a gazebo and i dont know you at all but this seems like a good time to have a conversation about the meaning of life” au

“we just met at a party and we didn’t really want to talk to anyone so we concocted an elaborate plan on how to steal all of the food in the room and it was going great until you spilled salsa all over me” au

“our squads were both really drunk and we ran into each other at 2 am and you asked if we wanted to play whiffle ball so we did and i tackled  you to prevent you from getting a home run and then we just stayed on the ground for a while” au