May I Stop Dreaming Of You This 2025

The Secret History destroyed my life like what do you mean I can't drink wine and study classical literature and spend the nights in a countryside mansion with piano echoing through the dark halls and break through the confines of humanity in a bacchanal and commit a string of murders and try to escape but eventually kill myself in a blaze of glory, ultimately shattering the lives of the people around me? That I can't escape the cognitive mode of experience and transcend the accident of my moment of being? That I can't lose my self, lose it utterly? What do you mean I can't live without thinking?

I like expensive gifts such as: loyalty, respect and sincerity.

fuck nihilism all my homies confront the meaninglessness of life as an opportunity for something wonderful and and believe in the beauty of creating meaning yourself through relationships and sticking your hands in the dirt.

from Simone Weil’s Pre-War Notebook

When the academic validation gets so bad that you cry over a 95

"And you ask yourself: Where are your dreams? And you shake your head and say: How quickly do the years fly by! And again you ask yourself: What have you done with your years? Where have you buried your best days? Did you live or not?"

It has been a long week, a disappointing series of days. Yet... there is more incoming. Staying on to see the storm through.

Very demure, very mindful

Periodic Test-3 scores...

Fell short of my target by 4%...

But it is what it is.

My second resolution for this year...

—Margaret Atwood, from You are Happy, 1974

Ahem☠️🤣

Vibes✨️

Moodboard inspired by @orphic-studies