Barty, Barging Into The Gryffindor Common Room: What’s Up Losers!

yeah..

yeah.

gimme james potter who dated regulus for years before his seventh year, where he completely abandoned reg the second lily (who had no idea) showed the littlest sign of attraction

gimme regulus who cried and cried, gimme rosekiller who wrapped reg in blankets and told their teachers it was a "hip flare-up, you know how it is, professor, his hip never really healed properly" and just generally bullshitted until reg could move again

gimme regulus who grew to depend on rosekiller even more, not in a romantic or sexual way just. complete qpr

gimme evan and regulus who got the mark that winter, gimme barty who got it to make them feel better about it (and also because riddle was hot)

gimme regulus who realized he was doing the wrong thing and tried for redemption.

gimme rosekiller who thought he had died a death eater.

gimme barty who tortured the longbottoms to find out who killed reg.

yk. just them

Sirius: sooo cute

*the four on a double date, passing by a children’s toy shop*

Sirius: *arm linked with Remus’s, pointing to the window* Look, Reg, you used to have a stuffed bear just like that.

James: *to Regulus* oh my god you’re so adorable

[flashback to Regulus as a child]

5 year old Regulus: *talking to a teady bear* You have five days left to live, Mr. Bear. I think we should just pull the plug now, give you a nice, clean death.

[present time]

Regulus: yes..good times

Imagine if Luna had a special power like Pandora.

Like if she could see through Poly- Juice potioned people , If she was in Goblet Of Fire it would’ve gone like this .

“Hey uncle Barty ”

“ No I’m Mad Eye Moody ”

“No you’re not you are my uncle Barty”

Later in his office …

“So Luna how’d you know”

“ I can see past Poly-Juice potion, Dad says I have a special ability just like mum ”

“ That’s right , It’s so nice to see you again .”

Then after she left he broke down in tears because she is all he has left of Pandora and the love of his life Evan .

okay fine 🙄 I'll be the one to ask..

since we're talking about remus and sirius: how is their sex like? are they weirdos like rosekiller or more on the vanilla side?

sending this on anon bc i feel like a Perv

♡♡ wait but i'm so glad you asked... to be honest the most major thing i see for them is a daddy kink. but in a way that differs wildly from whatever faux-daddy-kink thing rosekiller has going on.

the thing rosekiller has going on is like

(barty voice, extremely loud) YO.. DADDY’S GETTING HIMSELF A CAPRI SUN. YOU WANT ONE?

the most important thing to me is that wolfstar is a kinky couple but they are CORNY about it. they're unabashedly corny (but it's sort of cute, that they are). they're doing role-play with the little outfits, they're calling each other "daddy" & "princess", they probably own shibari ropes, and it's very domestic and stupid and lived-in (it's corny millennial kink-couple vibes, a little 😭). there is way less of the complex psychosexual veneer that i give other pairings

r/s is the heavyweight CHAMPION of daddy dom/babygirl relationships. sirius wears frilly panties & stockings that their daddy picked out, remus manhandles his little princess with his giant hands, and i think they would lean into the dynamics pretty hard in general?

remus brushes sirius's hair and does their pigtails. sirius can pout and swing her legs to get what she wants. i've had my brain chemistry fundamentally changed by fiveht's "disarm you with a smile" & greenvlvetcouch's "birthday boy" series.

(rosekiller is doing daddy stuff but in an insane faux-pederastic psychosexual freudian way where barty is working through his childhood trauma by perving on evan's innocent virginal fragility. come sit on daddy's lap, bunny. let him touch you in that place that makes you feel funny...) (this is why they're my faves)

the size kink is another major element... the fandom debates this every few months, but I'm firmly on the side of beautiful fairy princess sirius w/ her Gigantic Werewolf Husband. it's actually incredible that remus is able to fit inside her.

if you see sirius (5'3) holding remus's hand (6'5), you're briefly amazed at how their pretty head barely comes up to his collarbones.

cockwarming is definitely a huge thing for them. remus keeps her stuffed while he's grading papers, in bed in the morning, idly bounces her on it while they're watching a movie... he likes to see her pretty face when she gets overstimulated & cries

^AND he's doing this because she's always fucking bratty!!!

i just really believe that we should have the freedom to lean into the Wattpad-ification of it all. wolfstar can be really beautiful and complex (the most complex, even!), but r/s doesn't always have to be the most serious & best representation or whatever. i'm a rosekiller blog so i can carry the cross of "dainty elfin sirius in a little pink negligee & bunny-tail butt plug getting absolutely demolished by her wolf boyfriend's werewolf knot while he's in a rut, or whatever"

i think when they do sexy roleplay they make each other do voices, actually. they're dorks about it. they're dorks about everything

fuck, i never thought about that

You know what, I'm not interested in whatever trauma and abuse Sirius Black got from going against his family.

I'm interested in what trauma he is responsible for in the others.

You can't just act out in a family like that and be the only one in trouble. What about his brother? His cousins? How much did his actions hurt them?

I can imagine Bellatrix in her teens, charged with keeping her sisters and cousins under control, as the eldest daughter that's her job. Sirius, refusing to co-operate. Sirius, in his mind being the hero, rebelling and pushing and misbehaving to spite this family. He gets punished for it, of course, he's embarrassed the family, after all. But Bellatrix is also punished even more. Because she was responsible for him, she should have stopped him, what use is she?

Or he messes around in Hogwarts. Gets letters sent home about his behaviour. And yes, he receives Howlers about his behaviour. But what he doesn't realise, as he wallows in his wounds, is that across the hall at the Slytherin table, Regulus is also suffering from a Howler because he should have sorted his brother out, he should have stopped him, been a good influence. No praise for being the top of his class, nope, just reproaches for not preventing his brother from messing around.

And then after Sirius ran away?

They couldn't punish Sirius for that.

His parents aren't going to blame themselves for it.

No, it's Regulus's fault for not stopping him or telling them. It's Bellatrix's fault. It's Andromeda's fault. It's Narcissa's fault.

Sirius believed himself to be good and noble, rebelling against his family's evil ways. He's convinced they hate him because of him being on the side of good. But they don't care what side he's on. All they care about is the fact that they were punished repeatedly for what he did. And that's why they hate him. What good is his "noble" heart, if it got them in trouble? When he saw Bellatrix after she'd been punished and scoffed and said she deserved it for being a stuck up blood purist? When he saw Regulus with red eyes after his achievements were pushed aside to focus on Sirius's bad behaviour and all Sirius said was that Regulus was a coward and a baby?

Just something I think about

*The Balck brothers speaking French*

James: *Literally melts on the spot and finds it extremely hot*

Remus: Shut the fuck up, I don't speak croissant.

*deep breath* JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY JEGULILY

gay.

I'll say it louder for the people in the back. Women/girls aren't the only people who suffer from €at!ng D!$ord€rs.