If A Hand Kiss Isn’t Done With Either Reverent Trembling And Closed Eyes Or With A Certain Slow Sensuality

I saw a panphobic post on my dash from someone I thought I could trust, so this is a reminder:

This user supports bisexual people

This user supports pansexual people

This user supports polysexual people

This user supports omnisexual people

Being bisexual is not panphobic

Being pansexual is not biphobic

No sexuality is transphobic

If you don’t support all mspec people equally, then get the fuck off my blog

Some ideas for those taking commissions.

The thing is, with our skeletons the way they are, humans can bend. We make a point of becoming more flexible, bending this way and that and sometimes it for sure can look like we’ve got no structure. A lot of alien races are fascinated with how we move and bend because sometimes its so fluid. 

Especially in fights. 

They see us thrown against walls, flying through the air, our limbs bending in, what to us is unnatural ways, but the aliens don’t know we aren’t supposed to do that. To them, we seem like ragdolls, our bodies flopping and waving all over the place. They’re not gentle with us, throwing us over their shoulders in the rush to retreat and get back to the base, and even when not in a fight, they tend to throw us around with wild abandon (its usually no big deal, most humans think its hilarious and fun and no one really minds.)

And then they find out about our bones. 

Its a quiet, tense moment. A team had been dispatched to ‘ease the switch in political leaders’ on one of the more difficult inner planets and the current monarch was not having it. In a final attempt to keep control, the monarch had thought using one of the humans on the team as a  hostage was a good idea. They’re holding the human in a way that would look painful, arm twisting too far and the monarch is shouting, demanding that they be left in control. The others on the team are just grinning because if the monarch is threatening to break the human, they’re in for a big surprise. Humans don’t have a structure. They flop around as they please, held steady as simply a mass of meat!

The monarch, it seems, doesn’t like to be laughed at. The pull, and twist and-

SSS-NAP

And the human is screaming, their face contorted in pain. The monarch jerks the arm around. An audible -pop- fills the room, and the team hear it just over the screams of their friend. Then comes the other arm -SNAP- and the leg -CRACK-

The human is bent, but…its in a way that the others have seen often and isn’t that…isn’t that fine? Aren’t they supposed to do that? What was that horrible snap? As it turns out, one can’t hear very well the snapping of bones in the pandemonium of battle. 

Everyone’s a bit quiet, struck by the shouts of pain and sobs coming from their human before finally, mercifully, they pass out. Then all hell breaks loose. The rest of the team dispatch the monarch with unusual ease and entirely too quickly. Then, as gently and slowly as they can, they pick up the human. The angles of their limbs look sickening to them now, and they bring them back to the base where, for once, they actually stay in the medical bay to watch them be patched up and their bones reset. 

From then on, they are much more careful with their human companion and feel the proper amount of horror and concern upon seeing them thrown about in a fight. Still, it takes some time to convince them that yoga is an alright thing to do and that no, Susan is a contortionist, her body CAN do that. 

Secret Clones AU

Short version: Secret Clones AU is the clones going into hiding in plain sight across the galaxy to force a fair wage and also to keep the babies safe from Kaminoans

The clones figure out the plan to take advantage of them, brain chips, etc. several years before the war hits. IDK how, maybe Jango decided to take a closer look with Mij and went Oh Shit. Doesn't matter. Point is, they caught on and decided that they needed to uhhhhh get Out.

There are millions of clones, yes, but there are tens of thousands of planets.

Once the chips are out and someone's jabbed them with anti-aging serum... they're not that different from standard humans.

And it's not exactly hard to tie up the Kaminoans long enough to get off planet.

So what happens is that a while, let's say a year and a half, before the war kicks off, you have a mass exodus from Kamino, and a wide dispersal of clones. They are generally staying together in groups of about half a dozen, claiming to be brothers, so that there's a 16-18-ish looking clone to take lead, with progressively younger cadets to look after. Each one has a commander they can 'report' to in case of emergency, and if something goes real bad, they can call in an Alpha (and Alphas can call in Jango in a worst case scenario).

It's still sort of a military structure, but... it's a phone tree.

And you have one of these groups of half a dozen clones in every major city. There are thousands of planets, and most of those planets have more than one city. Denon and Coruscant are nothing but city, so they can get counted as dozens of cities on their own. It's easy to disappear in places like that.

It's so easy for the clones, before anyone knows them, to just... disappear. Go into hiding in plain sight.

It's not like more than a handful of people know what to look for.

(It's not like they have a centralized record of who went where.)

(It's just the phone tree.)

They still get real excited-happy-eager when they run into a Jedi.

They want to work with Jedi. They're the good guys! And they're cool!

But your army did a mass desertion before the war started and finding/recruiting all of them is going to take a stupid amount of money. You cannot hire a bounty hunter for each and every clone.

And as @bytebun put it:

Somebody two years later: you look …familiar. Have we met? Clone: haha I get that a lot just one of those faces

AND THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT BECAUSE THE GALAXY IS HECKING MASSIVE

I think the Republic has to like… negotiate with Jango and the Alphas and set up paid contracts if they want these Ultra Skilled Warriors to fight for them.

The clones can fight. Some of them even want to fight. They are good at this and they recognize that many of the things that are occurring under Separatist invasion are Mega Bad.

But like. Pay them and treat them as citizens, first.

The Jedi are even more confused about this identical army that really loves them than they are in canon Where the heck did you guys come from Who trained you Why do you like us What the heck is going on

"Someone wanted us to be a trap for you but we took the trap out. Here we have a sample if you want. Anyway. We like you guys and want to fight with you because honestly civilian life is way understimulating. Let me punch a droid."

I think a few of the clones do 'scouting' where they voluntarily help a Jedi in the field to gather information on their validity as Friends. Cody keeps a number of spreadsheets that are just Various Jedi Encounters.

Rex does a scouting mission with Kenobi&Skywalker and just goes to Cody like "Listen. I know he's insane. But. I want that one."

Rex just "I call dibs" "Cody. Cody did you hear me. Dibs, I call dibs."

@catboydogma: stats for pong krell are all zeroes

Absolute shit tier Jedi They play rock paper scissors to decide who has to deal with him

A solid half of the clones don't get recruited because the lack of advanced aging (past a certain point) means they're physically still minors and My Dad (Alphas and CCs) Said No. They stay behind on their various planets to look after The Real Babies.

"Let me ask my dad" "Wait--" "He said no."

Just want these boys to have Civilian Lives they can return to or at least experience before war gets them all fucked up.

I think some of them try to Make Connections with influential people (whether politicians or like... Space Influencers) so they have people vouching for them once the war kicks off. And there can be at least some public pushback on functionally enslaving them.

"I can't believe you manipulated people into liking you! That's so mean!" "Well you see. I wanted to survive past the age of eleven. So."

Ok, just imagine this... Clone simps in the Star Wars universe.

It starts out small, just someone making a comment on Space-tagram, wondering what the troopers look like without helmets.

This is followed up by the op with a picture of one of the Corrie Guards without his helmet on, and a comment reading "oh no he's hot!"

(Yes star wars has their version of sponge bob.)

The picture floats around the internet and soon there's a few fan accounts dedicated to finding out more about this mysterious, and good-looking army of men, who showed up basically out of nowhere. (You know, for the fans people)

Months go by, and people start to figure out their names and numbers.

Commanders and commandos are usually the favorites, but Captains Rex, Howzer, and Keeli have become quite popular, as well as some of the arc troopers.

The Jedi council and senate are aware of what's going on but they see it as harmless.

In fact its the only positive publicity that the clones get thats not from the government.

-and then shit gets crazy.

Someone manages to get a picture of Aayla and Bly standing a little to close to one another.

"R they dating?!" "No! Bly is mine!😠" & "They make such a cute couple" are just a few of the comments.

Another person gets a photo of Plo Koon talking to the wolf pack and posts it with the following caption-

"Oh my force! He's such a good dad. Go Wolf Pack🐺"

There's also a five second video of Cody handing Obi-Wan his lightsaber.

The clone simps loose their minds over this. You'd think that he handed him a wedding ring from the way they go on about it.

Part 2 cause I couldn't resist.

150 word challenge! Eddie has to watch Hermes and Tom while the dads are out! We need more Eddie interactions lol

150 words exactly!! I'm proud of this one! It's a lot harder than I thought to finish a whole idea/scene in so few words. But it was a good sort of challenging!

"Grandpa Eddie! Grandpa Eddie!"

"Yes, Hermes?" the man questioned, snagging the child off the ground to stop the constant running. Hermes giggled as Eddie pulled them further and further into the air.

"Tom wants a snack! He's hungry," Hermes claimed.

"Oh, Tom wants a snack? Not you?"

"Me too! Me too, Grandpa Eddie!"

"Well, we should go ask your brother what he wants for his snack, shouldn't we?"

Hermes barely hesitated before agreeing. "Yeah, Tom can choose the snack!"

The child in Eddie's arms began wriggling around to escape the hold. The grandfather released Hermes, only to watch them speed off in the direction of their brother.

"Hey Tom-tom, what snack do you want?"

"Snack? Can have juice? And carrots?"

"Of course you can have juice and carrots, Tom," Eddie agreed easily, ruffling the small child's hair gently, eliciting a grin from the boy. "Do you want the same, Hermes?"

"Yes, please!"

reblog if you think sign language should be taught as a language in schools.

🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

Canon, give me the forbidden fun Jedi anecdotes-

Please Reblog is Your Blog is Safe for Non-Binary People.

If my mutuals can’t rb this then we can’t be mutuals

Humans are space warriors

So ya'll know about war? It's a crappy thing, isn't it? Families being torn apart, murder being commonplace, stealing what belongs to completely different cultures of people. All because some Rich dumbasses didn't like the way another country looked at them.

Humans are pretty good at fighting, so much so that we even make sports out of it, mma, paintball/airsoft deciding who gets the last slice of pizza out of your siblings; it's safe to say we humans don't exactly shy away from violence, between action movies, most video games and some of the sports I just mentioned it's become a common part of our lives.

Now, considering that Earth might be a deathworld, it's safe to say that this probably isn't normal across space culture. I'm willing to bet this would make us a very feared and/or respected member of the galactic council, making us especially good at being security guards, bouncers, soldiers, etc.

Again though, Earth is a deathworld, so our normal civilians would most likely outclass even the most well trained fighters from other races, but what about our pros? The cream of the crop? The people with looks that can kill.

I think it's fair to say that soldiers or martial artists would essentially be seen as mythical unkillible demigod. Certain aliens would most likely search for these people like an apprentice looking for the kung-fu master only known through legend, hearsay and that one shitty movie that no one liked based off of their life.

Not only that, in fighting we have mutual respect for one another... most of the time, but ignoring dickheads who kick someone while they're down and people who support the british soccer team, humans will know when to draw the line and let their opponent recover.

This culminates in us being one of the most well trained warriors and most well disciplined fighters in all of the galaxy.