TV Show AU - Umbara
Rex: Why, General? Why kill your own men?
Krell: ...
Rex: ...
Krell: *holding back a laugh* I forgot my line, I'm so sorry!
Rex: *blurts out a laugh*
-
Rex: *cocks blaster and sneers* I said on. Your. Knees--
*LOUD CLATTERING SOUNDS*
Dogma, nervously swiping at the floor trying to pick up Fives' blaster: Sorry! Sorry! I dropped the blaster prop while I was taking it from Fives' holster!
Hardcase, off-camera: ayy, for once I'm not the one to break a blaster prop!
Dogma, angrily: shut up, you're supposed to be dead!
-
Rex, about dogma: he's wound tight, but he's loyal.
Fives, off-shot: *loudly* he means kid's got a stick up his butt bigger than Hardcase's Z-6 cannon, General!
Rex, deadpan, without breaking eye contact with anakin: thank you for illustrating it, Fives, but no one kriffing asked
Anakin, sputtering with laughter: he reminds me of you, Rex...
Fives: Yeah, same stick up his--
Director: CUT!
-
Dogma: ...would the prisoners ask to be blindfolded?
Jesse, shaking his bound hands: first the handcuffs and now this?! Pay for dinner first, you perv!
*uproarious laughter from Fives + the firing squad*
-
Fives: --especially when the orders we're given are wrong!!
Dogma: ...FIRE!
*blaster fire sounds, camera pans out to show that all shots missed Fives & Jesse*
Dogma: what happened?
Rex: They did the right thing, Dogma. Because if this is how soldiers are rewarded for heroic actions, then one day, every man in this battalion may face a similar fa--
Dogma: *grabs own blaster and pretends to shoot at Fives and Jesse* I swear to kriff these men have the worst aim! There, they're dead now!
Fives and Jesse: *fall down laughing hysterically*
Tundi sees Jesse: omg you’re here you’re here I’ve missed… I mean… hi. (they hug and cry and all is good)
Pup, sees Thunder: you’re here you came you… stop fussing I’m fine. (Lots of hugs and deep convos and Bumble trying to trip Thunder)
Fox sees his batch: you… came? You’re here? You… you care? (confusion and a little bit of venting then immediate forgiveness and hugs)
Stone, seeing his batchmates: you know what you did… (Boulder does not know but he plans on working it out so he can get his brother back)
Hound, dancing: my batch died 3 whole years ago, doo dah doo dah, but they loved me when they died, do-da-do-da-day
✨Fresh paint!✨
Stewjoni are ancient bioweapons. Designed to hunt darksiders Au
The first time the troops see Obi-wan drop his human facade is when he tears Pong Krells throat out with his teeth.
Obi-wan had been having an uneasy feeling about the other Jedi and had diverted to check in when he saw what the man was doing. Then felt the darkside dripping off the man.
He completely lost his composure. He didn't even try to use his saber. Just launched himself at Krell and tore into him.
In the end Obi-wan was standing there in a daze as he calmed down. Blood all over him.
The troopers that witnessed the scene are in shock. Too stunned to move.
Finally Waxer and Fives pull themselves together enough to approach.
"General Kenobi? Wha-" Waxer starts. Biting his tongue when the jedi snaps his head around to look at him.
His eyes are glowing. Not yellow. Waxer feels a blinding wave of relief at that. Not sith yellow. But blue, with a hint of green. Some of his freckles are glowing too. A strange bioluminesance that theyve never seen displayed before.
"Sir, you okay?" Fives gathers the courage to ask.
Obi-wan blinks. The dazed, almost feral, look in his eye fades. He swollows, then grimaces. Likely from the blood in his mouth. He clears his throat and opens his mouth to answer.
His teeth have changed. Now slightly longer and sharp.
"'M fine." The redhead rasps. Voice holding a hint of something guttural. "The men?"
Waxer glances back to the troops. They still havent moved, but they also seem to have relaxed a bit.
"Fine. Everyones fine. General, what happened just now?" Waxer asks.
The jedi makes an odd trilling noise. "Ah... I may have... Lost my control. I apologize for scaring you all."
Five snorts. "Scaring us? General that was the hottest kriffing thing ive ever seen!"
Waxer doesnt hesitate to punch the ARC trooper.
AU where whenever Anakin starts goin Dark Side, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, Padme or Rex hand him a tablet with baby sensory videos on it and he calms right the fuck down. He even drooled that one time. His favorites are the meilooruns that bounce back and forth. It feels like his happy place. It feels like his brain is dying and that’s just fuckin fine with him. Sometimes Rex will hug him super tight instead and he gets all needy and cuddles into his neck cause that’s some good freaking pressure Omfg. Eventually the clones build him a sensory hammock in his quarters and now Ani misses the hugs. Someone’s gonna have to get on that. Cuddle him plz. Someone asked Obi-Wan how he kept Anakin sane through his teen years and he just shrugs and mentions they have a sensory gym at the Jedi temple. The clones then realize he’s got the autism and needs calm down times. Mood. Sometimes Fives joins him with the baby sensory videos. Lmao. Obi-Wan’s version of baby sensory videos is feeling interesting textures and Ghost company keeps bringing him home new cloth textures to feel. They made him a texture blankie and now he willingly sleeps wtf. Ahsoka is jealous and would like some of this fun shit. They give her fidget toys. She deserves to press buttons.
The show is based on true event, and people but the actual hero with no fear and Vader are different people. The negotiator was the one with the Padawan, and she never left the order. The hero with no fear was married to senator amidala, but that was in the rebellion.
Luke and leia actually existed but they where cousin, not twin. There was 30 years difference between the hero and the negotiator.
Anakin is actually a force user. Used to be a Jedi, but left the order when a mission with his Padawan Went pear shaped. He lost his arm. He’s the third oldest of the crew at 43. He’s a descendant of the hero with no fear.
Padme is 21 and used to be anakin Padawan. She technically can still use the force but she has a mental block since The Accident so she left the order and anakin wasn’t about to let his 14 years old Padawan alone. Also he’s traumatized too. But the show help them both to work through their trauma.
Any romantic scene between their characters make them laugh so much. That’s why some viewers think the relationship is weird and ship obikin or any other ship because they are too accustomed to being a mentor/apprentice and it does show a bit in the scenes.
The actors playing the clones are all descendants from the actual Vod. Don’t call them clones. Nobody like that word very much.
Cody and Rex are twin and 18. Fives is their older brother, by 8 years. The episode with domino squad was so difficult to film. because both Rex and Cody couldn’t stop snickering at the thought of bossing their older brother around.
Anakin does all of his stunt and the actors playing force users like the go talk to him before their scene to get it just right. Anakin tend to do the weird force things himself. ( force shield, summoning lightsabers, ect)
He taught the Jedi actors and siths actor how to use their blade. It’s usually CGI, but when there no need to actually fight with others, anakin has his actual lightsaber out.
Palpatine is the oldest at 61, and is absolutely stocked to know that the homophobic/transphobic and xenophobic emperor would Loathe being played by a gay trans, half human half twi-leck man happily married to the actor playing dooku, with children and grandchildren they spoil.
Dooku is 58. Obi wan uncle. They cannot have a serious fight, without laughing. Ventress and maul are his and palp adopted children.
Ventress and obi wan love their fight scene because they can diss each other
Ventress is a awesome lesbian mother of the group.
Soka was a young girl who decided to audition on a whim. She got the part and she absolutely loves it. Her parents are assholes and tried to fuck her up because of the money she made but anakin put a stop to it. They went to prison and he decided to adopted her.
Yoda is the equivalent of 25 for his specie and can actually talk normally. He likes to complicate his speech even further. Him and windu are best friends, and def are the pranking duo.
R2D2 is his usual self and anakin droid from the start. The actual hero within no fear never lost his arms, and wasn’t that good of a mechanic. That’s all anakin.
C3P0 loves to turn people insane. He’s actually way more chill in real life. He’s padme’s. Anakin did built him, but to be a sort of guide droid for padme, after The mission.
Obiwan is 35 and has 6 sibling. He’s pretty much space bill Weasley. Anakin and him have an amazing chemistry and he’s the one that anakin confide to. They are pretty much best friend.
Korki, bo-Katan and satine are obi wan siblings. The romantic scene between the duchess and the negotiator where hilarious to film because it has both actor gagging looking at the camera. But satine death scene was really hard to film.
And yeah that’s what I have for now.
Personally, my idea of Actor AU includes:
Hunter’s actor is actually goofy and leans in hard to the dad vibes. His hair is, in fact, quite real, much to the dismay of his cast mates. Omega may have recorded BTS snaps of everyone and his included attempting to play dad rock on a guitar he keeps in his trailer.
Wrecker’s actor is actually the Smart Guy, having a degree in something complex like biochemical engineering or something. He’s also quieter and a lot more gentle than the character he plays, preferring to spend his time off-camera reading.
Echo’s actor likes to crack jokes a lot, specifically about how he’s the guy who always has to be in the makeup chair “at the crack of dawn’s ass”. Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair get an earful of playful fussing if he hears them whine about sitting still for their tattoo or scar makeup. Actually has a prosthesis, though his is for one of his legs.
Tech’s actually got a degree in English (“Why else would I be acting?”) and while he’s also on the spectrum, he’s a bit less rigid than the character he plays. He sometimes wishes his character was more forward about things but ultimately respects the sass. His Kiwi accent is a bit stronger outside of the role.
Crosshair’s actor … is ironically nearsighted. Initially, the reason he always seemed to be glaring was because he was trying to get used to the contacts he was given for the first shoot the Batch ever appeared in and it just suited him. Surprisingly chill guy otherwise, very aware of how intimidating he can come off as by looks alone.
Omega is the most like her on-screen character. Just a really cheery, outgoing girl! She brings her homework to do on set sometimes, and asks Wrecker for help since he’s the one who’s best at math and science.
Everyone is always joking about the hair situation: Hunter’s hair is real, they keep having to shave Echo’s hair, Wrecker prefers to be bald, Tech’s hair is actually curly and he hates how it constantly must be jacked up for the sake of his character (think Cillian Murphy’s feelings a la Peaky Blinders), and Crosshair made jokes about how he was so used to dyeing it that he no longer remembers what his hair color actually is. Then when they made him bald (even if by use of a bald cap), Echo and Wrecker chanted “One of us! One of us!” Omega’s hair is naturally blonde and cute so the costumers left it that way.
Once, Omega snapped a pic of Echo in the middle of his makeup regimen all powdered up. Fans saw and quickly began to compare him to a baby covered in powder. Echo liked the image and comparison so much that he printed it out and taped it to his mirror. Now, a common meme that he happily plays around with is “Echo is Baby.” Sometimes, he’ll even deepen his voice and go, “I a m B a b y” just to get a laugh out of someone.
Interviewer: So one of the things that makes the Batch stand out is how they’re generally unafraid of experimenting with their appearances, tattoo-wise in some cases. Are there any tattoos you’d perhaps like to get? Anything like the characters you play? Hunter: Oh, not at all! A face tattoo?! That big!? I’d pass right out right in the chair! Crosshair: Same. I think Crosshair’s tattoo is more about intimidation, and frankly I think I’m scary enough. That, and I don’t know what the guy was on to be able to withstand a tattoo to the face, but I don’t have any of that on me so I doubt that’s ever gonna happen. Hunter: Yeah, the closest thing I think I could do is maybe something on my arm. Maybe my child’s hand print or something of that nature. Crosshair: Ooh, a good old dad classic. Hunter: Yeah! Wrecker: I actually haven’t thought about getting a tattoo since, like, my university years. But hey, who knows? I’ve been told I have plenty of real estate for it! Echo, sheepishly laughing: I like the idea of tattoos, but needles freak me out. Yeah, I know it’s a different type of needle but like?? I don’t like pain!! I think the best I could do is just keep applying one of those temporary tattoos to the same place over and over to create the illusion of having actual ink on me. Maybe mess around with people and skip a day or two. Or better yet: Change out the design! One day there’s a dolphin on my neck, the next day it’s a tiger! Omega: Mum says no tattoos until I turn 18. But I’d like to get a Batcher helmet as commemoration! Tech: I actually have a tattoo! I mean, it’s nothing like what Tech would probably have. I feel like if he ever got any ink, it’d probably be something geeky like his favorite equation, or something symbolic of the galaxy bottled up into a formula of some kind. I imagine that if he wanted something artsier, he’d probably outsource to someone with more artistic skills. Tech: Anyway, my tattoo is of a turtle! Everyone: *is either looking at him or snickering* Crosshair: … A turtle. Tech: What’ve you got against turtles?
Omega convinces the guys to participate in some TikToks and such “for media purposes”. This ends in Wrecker, in character, saying, “Hunter: Omega’s trying to sneak around. But I’m dummy thicc, and the clap of my butt and meaty fists keep alerting the guards!”
Yes: Everyone wishes they could have a lightsaber. Yes: Everyone would most definitely make the lightsaber noises if they had one. And yes: Everyone makes do with their blasters, but they do revert into children who go “pew pew!” every time they pull the triggers. Even Crosshair’s actor, who more so goes “pow” or “bang”.
Interviewer: How are you like the characters you play, if at all? Hunter: I’m a cool dad with awesome hair. Omega: We’re both very curious! Wrecker: I don’t think we – Oh, you know what? We both love Lula! Echo: You mean aside from a prosthesis? Uuummm … Ppprobably … We both love a godawful pun! Tech: I think we both like to collect knowledge for the sake of it. And also, we drive like crazy. Crosshair: We can both be a bit catty
Tech’s actor is constantly fumbling his lines simply because of all the technobabble he has to say.
I do not know why but the image of Crosshair’s actor being a surprisingly good juggler haunts the cinema of my mind’s eye.
And bonus in honor of the release of Book of Boba Fett! The return of Little Fang
I’m not dead!
Part 6 of Star Wars actors AU, featuring very dramatic falls, the girls sharing a besalisk’s coat and Thrawn stopping Ezra from spoiling everything in interviews
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
👏🏾Education 👏🏾is 👏🏾a 👏🏾right,👏🏾 not👏🏾 a👏🏾 service 👏🏾
Pass along and use the shit out of them
The series would run tandem with tcw
Seeing the way the senators and civilians treat the clones (aka padme and bail are the only good senators)(aka why do the Coruscant Guard troopers flinch all the time)
Getting to see what was ACTUALLY happening with commander Fox (we know palpatine is involved)
Commander Thorn
Commander Thorn annoying fox with every ounce of energy he has
Commander Thire being soft
Commander Stone consistently having to deal with Jar Jar
Commander Stone is done
We know the Coruscant Guard has riot troopers, what about riots. Do they get violent or out of hand? Are they about the clones? How do the troopers react afterwards?
Did I mention commander Thorn?
Fox getting thrown out windows on a regular
Commander Fox chase scene
Getting to see a different perspective on what is happening through tcw series (fallout from umbara? Rako Hardeen?)
79s
The 501st and 212th causing trouble on leave
The 501st and 212th getting arrested by very amused CG troopers
The 501st and 212th in Fox’s drunk tank
Fox chewing out the 501st and 212th
Fox, Rex, Cody, Wolffe, etc bro moments
The command batch worrying for Fox
The command batch nicknames (we know they exist, David filoni)
Palpatine giving off creeper vibes that set the CG commanders on edge
The CG commanders not letting shinies go near palpatine alone
Closure on what really was going on with fox during and after Fives (*glares at palpatine*)
Seeing the Guard have to deal with the Jedi on Coruscant
Seeing the guard have to deal with Quinlan Vos
Good brother dynamics in a not good situation
Fox not having slept since the war started
Fox surviving solely through caf
Fox is very tired thank you very much
Can’t forget commander Thorn, who has definitely heavily salted Fox’s caf once only to be horrified as Fox gulps it down without so much as a grimace
There also must be certain regulations for members of the Guard (armor paint? Not removing helmets while on duty or in the senate building?)
Fox only taking off his helmet for Thorn because he feels safer that way, or maybe to hide a mutation (maybe Thire takes it off for him after Thorn’s death, because Thorn isn’t around to check on Fox anymore; we all know his death wouldn’t have sat with fox well)
Or even worse, what if it’s palpatine that makes him keep his helmet on? That way his brothers wouldn’t see the change in Fox’s eyes whenever palpatine takes control?
qUiNlAn VoS
Seeing the red hair we know Fox has
The Coruscant Guard commanders being good brothers to each other and their shinies
aka a compliation post
Aaand scene! I will now gently point you towards @carrinth ’s Caf Crawling comic, to which this comic is a humble tribute; and towards @amikoroyaiart, who gave me permission to base the caf cup design around her barista OC Amaya. Go show those fine folks some love.
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Baby clones in animal onesies are available as stickers, buttons, and other fun things on Redbubble!
More baby clones in animal onesies here
I am having thoughts about Corrie Massiffs.
About them being trained as emotional support animals as well as their actual jobs.
About them being long lived (maybe 30-50 year life span) and choosing their corries as their people to protect.
Sensing when their corries need support and helping them though panic attacks and anxiety issues, helping them sleep and guarding them through the night. Helping with their fears and drawing them out of dark spiralling thoughts and having the best hugs.
Thinking about the Corries also being the massiffs emotional support people who do just as much for them, who love them oh so dearly. Who play games with them and always try to get them treats and protect them with everything they have.
Thinking about the way the Massiffs would calm their corries down, little nudges and heads on laps or sitting on them entirely.
Thinking about how neither the corrie nor the massiff like to be apart.
Thinking about about them whining over the bodies of their corries and refusing to move, nudging them desperate for them to wake up. Having to be pulled away and never being the same after.
Thinking about them sitting by the door to the icebox room and refusing to move until their corrie comes back, then following right next to them as they're helped to a space to lie down and curling up with them so their person can take their body heat and feel warm and safe and letting their corries hug tight.
Thinking about the massiffs sitting outside the med bay and just whining and scratching on the door. About Grizzer refusing to move and sounding distressed after Hound was carried in and about Hound finally waking with Grizzer on his lap.
About everything getting all too much all of a sudden for Pup and Bumble pulling him away to get him somewhere quieter and then putting her head in his lap and licking his face and being a warm solid presence for Pup to focus on and calm down and feel safe.
About massiffs knowing their corries are overworking themselves and trying to make them sleep. Of Grizzer knowing it upsets Hound and that Fox is almost his person too so he steals Fox's datapad and leads him to his bed then sits on him. Fox scratches him behinds the ear with a very soft chuckle and admits he could probably do with a few hours.
Grizzer trying to get the smell of Palpatine off of Fox. All the massiffs trying to get the smells of Senators off their corries and take the horrible smell of distress away.
Thinking about no-Order 66 where the massiffs stay with their corries and help them with their recovery post-war and this spreading through the GAR. They get even more training on how to be support animals and they love getting to help and love their people who love them so dearly back.
Thinking about Order-66, and the massiffs not understanding whats happened to their corries. Why they're not them anymore.
About any blackout mission and their corries aren't behaving like their people and they don't smell of anything, not fear not joy not sadness not anything they can usually sense, they can't read any emotion off their corries and they don't know what to do. Trying to get them to react, trying to bring them out of it or simply waiting for them to come back and being worried until they do.
You know, just thinking thoughts...
Divorce AU Fox being an absolute mastermind when it comes to the tabloid media and laying the groundwork for the divorce years before he starts it. Lots of very subtle comments that sound mostly innocent and romantic, but paint Palpatine in a very controlling light, offhand comments that are laughed off but just don’t sit quite right.
Even a year before he starts the divorce, people are questioning the bruises he didn’t get on patrol (because it’s a celeb relationship so come on people will be checking whether he was actually on patrol or not at the point where he got those injuries).
Long before he starts anything legal reporters start looking into the condition of the Coruscant barracks, because clones are very loyal to their siblings and maybe the commander of the Guard has a reason for staying with the Chancellor when it’s clearly causing him suffering. Maybe he’s staying because he has people to protect, and maybe the Chancellor is holding their lives and well-being over Fox’s head. He has the power to, and it would certainly explain a lot.
Hell, the common public who read the tabloid start being nice to the Guard, their opinions totally flipped by the engaging stories
Fox has to pretend to be outraged by the accusations that Palpatine is abusive when they first start, but he’s secretly overjoyed, because things are going better than he could have hoped.
Palpatine isn’t completely blindsided by the divorce, but he’s 100% blindsided by the overwhelming support that comes from the masses in support of Fox and the Corries.
Fox weaponised tabloid media. They practically build the case for him.