Palomalittlep - LittleP

Between the bookshelves

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/General Kirigan/The Darkling x fem! non-grisha! reader Summary: It was so easy for you to fall for the Black General. It took him one visit to the library in the Grand Palace to catch your eye and make you fantasise about him - a dangerous, mysterious ancestor of the Black Heretic. But that was all that could happen between you two... fantasy, daydreaming, or dreaming at midnight in the privacy of your chamber. He was the strongest of all Grishas, and you… you were just a librarian woman. But maybe your fantasies and huge/little crush on Darkling can turn into something much more? Requested by: @dreampissybaby It took me ages, but I hope you'll like it! 😅🩵🖤 Word Count: 8,2k Taglist: @aoi-targaryen ~•♤♤♤•~ Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~

You put the books on the shelves, staring at the landscape outside the window. It was winter. The snow fell slowly, glistening in the sunlight. Lost in your thoughts, you didn't notice the shadows slowly taking over the part of the library you were in. It was only when they blocked the view through the window, creating a black curtain, that you realised you were no longer alone.

You squealed, surprised, as your back was suddenly turned to the shelf and pinned against it as a certain man crashed his lips into yours hungrily, giving you no time to say anything.

You moaned into General Kirigan's mouth and tangled your hands in his snow-covered hair as he held you trapped between his strong, well-built body and the bookshelf, tasting you greedily with a passion you had never felt before. And each brush of his lips against yours only felt more intense.

"I was thinking about you for a whole blody month. I couldn't sit through a single meeting without thinking about those enticing lips and the things I want to do to you when I finally return." he whispers, kissing your forehead.

He strokes your cheeks tenderly with his thumbs and studies your face carefully, looking for any changes that may have occurred in the month he's been away.

"You came back earlier. I didn't even hear any sounds of horses from the courtyard or whispers among the maids that you were back with your Grishas." you say, stroking his hair messed by the air. You notice that he still has a few snowflakes in them and giggle at how this dangerous man looks so cute with the snow in his hair, black cloak, and red nose.

"I could have left Ivan in charge of the rest and set off earlier myself. They should be here tomorrow. I left them as I saw the walls of Little Palace, and actually, I saw them in the distance from the tower when I was running here." he admits, and you're pretty sure the blush on his cheeks isn't due to the change in temperature. However, you decided to ignore it and not tease him about his obvious embarrassment.

"Come. We need to warm you up. We wouldn't want the general to get sick and be more grumpy to his soldiers only because he wanted to see a girl earlier."

"But what a beauty she is."

Before you can even answer him, his now slightly warmer lips crash against yours, stealing your breath. You moan as he pushes you onto the windowsill. Your back, cushioned by his hand, hits the cool window as he kisses you, as if trying to make up for the month of separation with his one (or maybe more) kiss.

"Next time, I'm taking you with me so I can claim what's mine whenever I want." he pulls away for a moment to whisper before capturing your lips again. You smile, pulling him closer to you by the black fur on his coat.

"Aleksander..." you moan as your lips part and his hand travels under your dress, caressing your leg and making you shiver, both from the cold air and the electric touch of his skin on yours.

"So distracting, so teasing... my little Otkazat'sya, who is constantly occupying my every thought when I should be focusing on the possible war to come. The saints know you will be my sweet undoing."

Your hands land on the collar of his kefta under his coat, and you slowly move them along his chest, unbuttoning his kefta and shirt. You are caressing every newly exposed bit of his skin with your hands, not ashamed of the desire to touch, and caressing every single part of your general...

"Your man came here." your colleague taps you on the shoulder, taking you out of your 'reading', and nods towards the main aisle.

You turn your gaze away from the book, which was only your excuse anyway, thanks to which you could freely indulge in your fantasies. You take a quick glance at the general.

"Shush!" you hiss at her, checking if the general didn't hear her. You breathed a sigh of relief when you saw that his attention was completely focused on the bookshelves. "He might have heard you. Besides, he's not my man."

"You better tell him that. Every time he comes here, he asks specially about you. That means something." she teases you as you put the book back on the shelf.

"That means nothing. It's just that I know most of the books on military tactics from my father and brother, so only from me he can find out where exactly it is. I doubt anyone else in this library would understand which book he's looking for." you brush her comment off and walk over to the general, who was looking at the titles of the books on the shelves.

"Good morning. How can I help you this time, general?" you smile politely, trying to fight the stupid fluttering of your heart you had around him. As well as the dirty thoughts that tormented you about this unfairly handsome man.

You thanked saints every time you talked to him, for that he wasn't a heartrender and couldn't hear your traitorous, stupid heart racing fast each time you were in his presence.

You take a moment to study his face, noticing that the dark circles under his eyes have increased slightly over the course of the week. His eyes, although still shining in their characteristic, even mischievous way, are cloudier and more tired. And if you could, you would comfort this over-busy man, or at least try to provide him with some sense of comfort.

But you can't. All you can do is watch him from a distance.

So you do so. You study every bit of his face carefully, allowing yourself to do so when he talks to you about a book, and you pretend to listen to him, right after you heard the title of the familiar book he was looking for.

After all, you didn't want to waste his time… or give him any suspicion that you were taking every possible moment to admire him.

You know that your infatuation and dreams are stupid and that nothing more will ever happen between you two than a polite conversation and maybe the exchange of a few observations about books. But you can't help but imagine how wonderful it would be to kiss his tempting lips, cup his bearded cheek in your hand, or run your hand through his dark brown hair.

Just as his soft voice is no longer heard in your ears, you come back to reality, and it takes all your strength to look away from his too-perfect (for your stupid heart's sake) face and focus on the books on the shelves.

"This is a basic position. You should have it in your book collections." you say, running your finger along the spines of the books and looking for the one he needs.

If you had turned around at that moment, you would have seen a blush spreading across his cheeks as he looked around nervously and cleared his throat, trying to think of an excuse.

"To be honest... my personal library is not kept in such an... order. It's much easier and faster to come here. A nice company is also an additional benefit, as also the opportunity to break away from reports, plans, and other annoying papers."

"And here I thought that soldiers usually kept order around themselves. Especially the general of the whole army." you tease him with a smile and hand him the book he was looking for. His fingers brush against yours briefly, making you shiver.

"I found it hard to keep everything in order in the thought process. Especially lately when so many things which are on my head."

"So I guess your library is pretty messy." you smile as you hear his soft chuckle after your comment.

Everything about this man was ethereal. Starting with his appearance and ending with the way he carried himself. With pride and power radiating from him, which made everyone show respect, awe and fear for him.

Some invisible electric force was pulling you towards him—something inexplicable that only a few people could resist. And you definitely weren't one of them.

Like a moth to a flame. - you think mockingly, knowing that everything he represented was darkness and danger. But you could see more than his shadows. Something that didn't let you put him out of your mind so easily.

"That's putting it mildly." he says, snapping you out of your thoughts. You lick your lips and nod, laughing a bit.

"Maybe you should find someone who will clean up this mess for you. It would be a shame if the general of the Second Army got lost under the piles of his own books." you say, expecting to hear another burst of laughter from him.

But that didn't happen. Instead, his gaze lingered on you, as if he was searching your eyes for some kind of answer. You stared, hypnotised, into his dark irises until he finally saw something in your eyes that made him take a step towards you.

"Are you offering?" he whispers, making you shiver as you try to hold his intense gaze.

The fact that he's close enough that you can smell his cologne, his intoxicating scent, and his warmth, which is nothing like your fantasies, makes it even harder for you to string together a coherent sentence.

"Maybe I am." you whisper back, not sure if he understood it as a statement or a question.

But judging by the way he leaned towards you, slowly closing the distance between you and your lips with each small movement, you think he rather understood your intentions...

And just when you think he's finally going to end this torment—when he's going to lean down and catch your lips in a passionate, tender kiss and pin you to the bookshelves like he already did in your dreams, too many times for you to remember—you two hear somebody calling him.

You are the first to break eye contact, shift your gaze to the shelves next to you, and step away from him, even though every cell in your body screams with the need to be close to him.

"It looks like I have to go." he says. It clears your throat and catches your eye again. His dark eyes are focused entirely on you as he decides to make his move and adds, "I shall be waiting for you tonight if you are still offering your help. I could really use it." he says, ignoring the footsteps approaching the alley.

"Well, I shall meet you then, general." you answer instantly and with a little flirtatious tone before you can think about it or get scared and change your mind.

He gives you such a wonderful, charming smile that it convinces you that he was created by the saints themselves. Your heart skips a beat as he leans down and presses a such gentle kiss to your hand that you have to focus very much to feel his lips on your skin.

"I shall be expecting you then, milaya." he says, and you think he winks at you before turning around just as one of his Grishas comes into view.

They walk away together quickly, the man explaining something to him in a hurry, but all you see is him stealing a quick glance at you before disappearing around the bend into the main alley.

"Milaya?" you whisper to yourself, frowning.

And before you can think it through, you rush to the old Ravkan dictionaries to find this concrete word he used, ready to endure your friend's teasing when you tell her you think you have a date with the general of the Second Army.

"I told you I didn't want to be disturbed." he says slightly angry, after they return from the training field, where the young Inferni have started a fight with the Squallers and started a damn fire. Aleksander frowned as he felt the soot harden on the sleeve of his kefta.

"My apologies, General, but that was an important matter." Grisha, who interrupted his conversation with Y/N, explains himself as they enter his chambers, straight to the war room.

"Next time, you can only come to me if a Little Palace is set on fire, not some field. And even then, it will be better if you find some tidemaker to extinguish the fire. Understand, Captain?" he asks madly and sits down at his desk. He sighs when he sees the new papers that Ivan must have delivered to him in his absence.

"Yes, sir." he sees Grisha nods nervously. He rubs his eyes and sighs, seeing that his hands are also black with soot.

"Bring Fedyor here. And Ivan. I need someone reasonable." he mutters and gets up to go to the bathroom and get rid of any traces of fighting the fire. "And make sure the kids show up for their night training with Baghra. That should calm them down and keep them busy... at least for a while."

Grisha salutes him and leaves as quickly as he can. Aleksander rolls his eyes and looks in the mirror, cleaning his face. He returns to his desk and looks over the reports Ivan brought. After a few minutes, his heartrenders appear.

"You wanted to see us, sir." Ivan says this, standing in front of his desk. Fedyor is next to him, looking at the general. He frowns at seeing the messy state he is in.

"I have a task for you." he says, and he signs some orders. "First of all, please explain to me how the Little Palace was almost set on fire when I was only a few minutes away?" Ivan swallows and wants to say something, but Fedyor comes first.

"Zoya is on a mission. The kids felt too... carefree in someone else's care. But I assure you, General, that after today, it is unlikely to happen again. I heard them say on their way here that they had never been so afraid in their lives. Besides, they're just kids. Good thing the tidemakers were close. As soon as Zoya returns, she will definitely teach them a life lesson."

He nods, deciding to deal with this matter another time. "Were you able to gather the information I needed, Fedyor?"

"Yes, sir. Y/F/F. These flowers are waiting in the conservatory; you can pick them up and give them to her whenever you want." before Aleksander can scold him for making such bold assumptions, Fedyor continues. "Oh, right, I forgot. David is finishing the necklace you ordered. With her favourite gem, of course. But we have a serious problem, General. People are talking."

"They always talk. What exactly do they have in mind this time?" he clears his throat, trying to ignore how the heartrender so easily suggests his blatant infatuation of Y/N. He decides to remain silent. After all, Fedyor was the best... informant regarding Y/N. And his help was necessary in this case...

Although he liked Ivan's company more, it was Fedyor who was mainly responsible for them both being together, and that means he was more useful in his little mission. How two heartrenders got together—even Darkling didn't know exactly—but he desperately needed all of Fedyor's advice after his own attempts to woo you had failed.

He may have been handsome and had many women vying for his attention, but since Luda... he hadn't really courted anyone. No one was important enough. No one had broken through the wall of his heart created by Luda's death. When he decided that he had buried too many people close to him to endure another death, another loss.

And then you appeared. An ordinary human, not even Grisha. And he fell for you fast, hard, and suddenly, and despite his better judgement, he gave in to this need to be in your presence. And every day, he wanted much more. Irronicaly, he was too nervous around you to finally make a move. Or at least one that will be clear to you and provide him with your… reciprocity of his feelings.

And Fedyor had too much fun helping him to 'get a girl'. Just like teasing the general, who put up with his taunts as long as his advice worked. At least Ivan was here to stop his lover when he walked on the thin line of the general's patience.

"They are… interesting why our general is so often a guest in the Grand Palace… a library, to be precise."

"And? Is it something wrong? Can't I use Ravka's book resources?

It was a weak excuse. Aleksander knew this. But she won't admit his feelings... especially not to Fedyor.

"It's not like I'm going there just to look at her." he adds, mumbling under his breath as his attention is fully focused on the report in front of him. He wanted to finish this as soon as possible to prepare for your visit.

"And with all due respect, moi soverenyi, what exactly are you doing there?"

Aleksander hears Ivan kick Fedyor in the ankle as Heartrender asks him this question. He smiles to himself and finishes writing the last report.

"None of your worries." he says and hands the completed papers with his directions and orders to Ivan. "I'm unavailable for the rest of the day. Only matters of the utmost importance, and I only accept these messages from you two; keep any incompetent soldiers away from me; I had enough of them today."

His thoughts wander back to that moment where he almost managed to kiss Y/N. If it weren't for that damn soldier… his mind wanders to all the possibilities of how his visit could end.

"It really worked? She comes here?" Aleksander wonders if he should be offended by the incredulous tone he used.

"She is. That's why I hope I won't be disturbed anymore. At least not with trivial matters that can be taken care of without my interference and that I can find out about the next morning."

"Does she know she's staying until the morning, sir?"

"Fedyor." Ivan hisses at him, furious, unsure how much longer the general can take it.

Aleksander swallows, embarrassed. He can't help but wonder if you'll be as willing as he is to extend your overnight visit into the next day… or two.

"General, your heart is beating faster. Do you need any help?"

Fedyor smiles, half-malicious, half-happy to see the general melt at every thought of you. You completely swept him off his feet, and he didn't even have a second to defend himself. It was refreshing to see him so... lost in his feelings for you.

"Ivan, get your other half out of my sight before I send him to West Ravka, right through the fold, without any light or Inferni with him." Fedyor tries his hardest to stop smiling at his words. Ivan covers him and nods respectfully to the general.

"Yes, moi soverenyi."

As the door closes behind them, Fedyor laughs softly at Ivan. "Who would have thought that he of all people would choose Otkazat'sya? The one who never stayed around non-Grishas longer than necessary?"

"Do not be stupid. He definitely needs her for something else."

"You yourself heard his heartbeat. He fell head-over-heels. I have to tell Genya to make him a new kefta... preferably two, one male and one female, matching, you know, just in case."

Fedyor smiles as he sees people cleaning the corridors of the Little Palace. Their general was so obvious about his feelings that it hurt. The opinion of a heartless general effectively covered up his obvious actions.

"Why? She's not a Grisha. The general knows better than to pursue her."

"My dear, in the state our general is in now, he hardly cares about the fact that she doesn't have any powers. Besides, I know of marriages between Otkazat'sya and Grishas. There are few of them, but thanks to the sharing of life energy, the couple lives happily ever after, as long as Grisha's one doesn't die."

"Marraige? Don't go that far into the future. Even if he feels something for her, he will get over it."

"You will remember my words when he asks you to be his best man. Come on, honey, let's see what we can do for our general." Fedyor laughs and pulls Ivan towards the conservatory.

You walk through the corridors of the Little Palace, led by one of the Oprichniks, to the general's chambers. You feel weird coming here. He was usually the one who always visited you. At different times of the day in the library.

Involuntarily, you remember one of his rare nighttime visits.

You were alone in the library. You sat curled up in an armchair by the fire with a blanket around you.

You liked spending evenings in the library. It was completely silent then; you could listen to the crackling of the burning wood and get completely lost in your book.

However, lately, your thoughts have been turning more and more often around a certain general of the Second Army. Hence the book that was on your lap. "The Lives of Saints."

You've read most of the books about Grishas. About how they use their powers. About their little science. They fascinated you. Like Kirigan. At first, you were afraid of the general. He was, after all, a Black General, a descendant of the Black Heretic. But there was something... defenceless about him. Humane. Not identifying with the terrible legend circulating about him. And that little element of the common human in him drew you to this mysterious man.

You smirk to yourself as you hear the quiet footsteps you've learned to recognise as he lets you hear that he's close. You remember quite vividly how you shouted at him when he snuck up on you and almost dropped the stack of books you were holding. You don't know who was more surprised then—you or him.

"A little late for a night visit." you say, closing your book and shifting your gaze to the man walking towards you.

The smile disappears from your face when you see that he has dark bags under his eyes and is much paler than usual.

"Do I look that bad?" he asks with a laugh at your reaction. The blush on his cheeks and his less confident step make it clear that he didn't take your behaviour as carelessly as he showed.

"You look like death. What happened?" you ask, worried as he sits down in the armchair across from you.

"Tough week. I will be good. I had to come here. I... I haven't looked here for a while."

Little did you know that he wanted to say that he hadn't come for you. That he didn't come to check on you even though he wanted to, but he just didn't have time. That he had been watching you at every opportunity, hiding in the shadows. He was stopping at the library to simply look at you each time the king called him to confer with him about a possible war with the Fjerdans, which thankfully he had managed to avoid.

Now that the vision of Grishas' blood being spilled was no longer hanging over his head, he had come here—to the only shelter he had in this forgotten by the saints country on even a world.

He came to you.

"I noticed." you say and give him such a beautiful, comforting smile that this week of fighting against the king and the general of the First Army is worth the price of his nerves, sleepless nights, and the effort he put into avoiding war. This smile is a sufficient reward for all his efforts to maintain peace and security.

For Grishas, his mind screamed; he did it for his people.

For you, whispered a small voice in his head, coming from the remains of his shattered over the centuries heart. He did this to keep you safe—the only piece of his humanity he allowed himself to have. The only ramains of a man he used to be.

"You did?" he asks, swallowing. He watches you carefully, assessing your every little move and reaction.

He doesn't trust you yet... but he feels that he is getting closer to completely losing himself in your presence, which is soothing his battered soul like anything else in this world, and the warmth that radiates from you. If he didn't know you, he would think you were Inferni.

"Mhm..." you nod and start telling him about a book you read recently that he might have liked.

And he really wants to listen to you. Your voice soothed his frayed nerves and calmed the anxiety he had felt over the past few days, but as soon as he allows himself, as his head rests against the armchair, he begins to feel tired as well. And your wonderful voice, the sound of the fire crackling in the fireplace, and the familiar smell of your perfume mixed with the smell of books lull him to sleep better than any lullaby.

You smiled, watching him relax in the chair and slowly fall asleep. You quietly got up from your seat and walked over to the fireplace to add a log to the fire. You took the blanket you covered yourself with and walked over to Kirigan.

Just as you were about to cover him, a strong pair of arms swept you off your feet, leaving you in the general's lap while he snuggled into you.

“So warm…” you blush when you hear his half-asleep whisper, but you don't question his actions.

You cover the two of you with a blanket, and after he settles his head comfortably on your shoulder, with his nose gently nuzzling your neck, you can't help but run a hand through his hair. And you almost moan at how soft they are. If you could, you would stroke him at every chance you got. But now you just leave a light kiss on his temple, trying to fight the hope rising in your chest, which tells you that maybe your feelings aren't so hopeless and unreciprocable after all.

Because what other reason could there be for this man, who was completely out of your league and who is currently clinging to you like it's the most normal thing in the world, than that he has feelings for you?

As if this strong, powerful man needed a shelter and could find it only in your arms...

You never talked about that night, nor did it ever happen again, but it was one of your favourite memories with him.

Surprisingly, he always hits your shifts. And you wanted to believe that it wasn't a coincidence that you two met so often.

And that milaya... he didn't call every woman a sweet girl, did he? No. There had to be at least a hint of attraction in him for you. And you were so desperate for him that you would take any scrap of affection he gave you—any chance to see how it would really be to be loved by him. Even if this closeness was to last only for one night.

He was nervous.

The hundreds-year-old shadow summoner was nervous. And not with the upcoming fight, battle, and important meeting with the king, in which he had to use all his manipulation techniques and lies.

He was nervous before meeting with you.

Baghra would laugh at him and beat him for being distracted by mortals. For letting his stupid heart take control again and naively allowing himself to feel something for a woman who would pass so quickly that he wouldn't have time to blink.

But does that stop him? Of course not. He always takes a losing cause and always makes bad choices.

But how could he not, when you were the only light that had appeared in a very long time that he spent utterly alone in the darkness of his war room, still planning and still thinking about how to provide all Grishas with a safe future in which they wouldn't worry about their lives anymore? How could he just ignore you when you were lightening brighter than the sun summoner herself?

A gentle knock on the door sent a shiver of both excitement and fear through him.

You were already here.

"Come in." he says, trembling with anticipation as he waits for you to enter his chambers for the first time.

However, his face grew grumpy when, instead of your silhouette in some beautiful (preferably black) dress, he saw Fedyor enter his chambers.

"What are you doing here? And what is that all for?" he asks, confused, as Fedyor places a vase with a bouquet of your favourite flowers on his war table, a basket with wine and delicacies you like, and goes to light more candles in the room.

"Things that will come in handy. Good night, General."

Fedyor leaves before he can react. He stares at the room for a moment and laughs to himself, shaking his head. You were going to be his undoing. People will see how... soft he is getting because of you. But somehow it doesn't bother him, at least as long as the prospect of holding you in his arms was within his reach thanks to it. He would put up with Fedyor's banter and whispered gossip within the ranks of the Second Army if it meant having you by his side.

The soft creak of his door draws his attention. His gaze is fully focused on the entrance, his breath catching in his throat as he waits to be blessed with the sight of you. Maybe he could afford this one weakness? To allow himself a moment of blissful peace in the constant, lonely war that he waged for the safety of every Grisha.

The curse almost leaves his mouth when someone else appears instead of you. This time, Alina. In a nightgown, loose hair, and an uncertain expression on her face. And although he really needed her in his plans, he couldn't help but damn her for her timing. It looked like he didn't deserve time free from his duties.

"Alina? How can I help you?" he asks instead, glancing briefly at the clock and wondering how politely and quickly he can dismiss her so that you won't see her leaving on your way to his chambers.

Ironically, what Alina would think about his encounter with you at night didn't matter to him at all. But it should be the other way around. After all, he was going to seduce her and use her power for his plans.

You weren't supposed to mean that much to him.

And yet he was there, standing in front of the Sun Summoner he had dreamed to find for so long, but now he was only wondering how to get rid of her.

"Am I... disturbing you?"

As always, he thought, but quickly shook his head.

"Not at all. What's the matter?" he asks in a polite tone, trying not to get irritated by the way she looks around his chambers. Her cheeks blush slightly, and her eyes glow in the candlelight.

He wonders how you will react to the scenery Fedyor has created. Maybe he should light more candles? Or dust off his old record player and put a record of slow, classical music in it. He knew it would help him. Many times, he caught you dancing alone in the abandoned alley of the library. There were many times when he joined you so that you wouldn't have to dance with the air... although the main reason that encouraged him was the opportunity to hold you in his arms.

He doesn't pay attention to what Alina is saying to him. He only catches the way she says his name, and he can't help but let his thoughts fly to you again.

Considering how often he was in this library, he should have known by now where to look for the books he wanted. However, he was glad that none of the librarians commented on it, and they immediately showed him where he could find you.

However, the reputation of a cruel Grishas' general had its benefits. No one dared to question him.

As he walks through the library, he smiles and thinks about you. How you weren't afraid to put him in his place when you didn't like something.

At first you were just a means to an end, then a pretty thing to look at, then over time you became a challenge, and now... he couldn't go a day without seeing your face or hearing your voice.

He swallowed and shook his head. NO. He didn't fall that low. Not for an ordinary woman, a mortal.

A mocking voice in his head that closely resembles Baghra's words mocks him as he tries to deceive himself. How weak he is.

And he would probably have turned back and tried to save his naive heart if he hadn't heard a familiar, slow song playing from the gramophone.

He froze, watching you dance to the piano sounds coming from the record player, and put the books back on the shelves, rearranging them in order. The skirt moved with your movements, and he wanted nothing more than to place his hands on your waist and pull you as close to him as possible, letting his hands trace your curves as he stared into your eyes.

So he did. Allowing himself to do what he wanted and forgetting for a moment what he should have done.

He walks over to you quietly and places his hands on your waist, turning you towards him and lowering you, keeping his hand on your back in reassurance that he won't let go of you.

"Kirigan!" you scream at him, scared by his sudden action.

You cling to him, and he might have laughed at your adorable reaction if the fake name he gave himself didn't feel like a slap in the face when you said it. And then, as you stare at each other without saying a word, he realises that he wants the only name that leaves your wonderful, tempting lips to be his real one.

"Please... call me Aleksander." he whispers, and somehow this was something more intimate and meaningful than all the flowers and furtive glances you had received for him. Than all the talks you have had. Than all the kisses on the hand, cheek, and hugs you had exchanged.

"Aleksander." you say back, whispering it, like it was something sacred.

His heart sinks further. It does a flip when he hears how gently you say his real name, the name he kept away from the world and close to his heart, only for himself.

He makes himself vulnerable to you.

And instead of freaking out, all he can do is look at you as if you were his only anchor, keeping him sane in his crazy life full of worries, fear, and anxiety. Your eyes shine up at him, reminding him of the stars—the stars that for a long time have guided him in his darkness and made him blind to everything else around him but you.

He was cursed. There was no turning back. He knew it the moment he heard his real name on your lips. And if it weren't for the damn pile of books falling with a loud bang, causing him to go into defence mode and hide you behind him, he would have kissed you right there and then.

He remembers perfectly that day. And he cursed every moment you decided not to use it. As if he cared who might hear it. As long as it came out of your alluring lips, he didn't care who heard it. He knew it would be the end of him to hear you scream it loud in the darkness of his chambers.

He doesn't notice when Alina approaches him. Or when she places her hand on his. At least not until a ball of light appears around them. He looks fascinated by Alina's possibilities and her power.

Alina leans towards him. His gaze shifts to her. He wonders if he should let her kiss him. But then the image of you comes to his mind, and he knows he has no choice but to push her away. He can't do this. Not when he knows he could be kissing you; taste your lips on his instead of hers. And the realisation makes him even more aware of how hopelessly he has fallen for you. To reject the Sun Summoner herself.

And that's when he notices you standing in the doorway.

"Y/N? Y/N, wait!" he pushes Alina's hand away and shouts after you as you walk away, closing the door.

He leaves a confused Alina speechless as he runs after you. When he's in the hallway, he sees no sign of you. He curses, realising what an uncomfortable situation you found him in with the sun summoner.

This will be difficult for him to explain. But damn him if he doesn't try his best.

"Don't." he stops his oprichniki from chasing you. You needed a moment for yourself. He knows that chasing after you would only make things worse... even if that was all he wanted to do right now. "Just make sure she will come back safetly to her chamber. If something happens to her, you will suffer the consequences. Understood?"

"Yes, general."

"That's all." they bow to him and leave. He sighs, running a hand through his hair.

"Aleksander?" Alina's hand is on his shoulder as she turns him to face her.

And maybe, if they had met a few years earlier—before he met you—he would have allowed himself to take the opportunity to get the sun summoner for himself. But now... all he wants is you.

"You should go back to your chamber." he says coldly, returning to his room.

Only to take his black kefta. Just because he couldn't talk to you doesn't mean he couldn't watch you to make sure you were okay. Maybe, thanks to you, he will figure out how to explain all this to you.

You were stupid. And naive.

You think angrily as you clean the library floor with a broom. If anyone noticed that you started cleaning again as a way to release your negative emotions, they did not comment on it. And good. You were a ticking bomb today.

Honestly, you could have seen it coming. Him and the Sun Summoner. They were perfect for each other. In every book, they would end up together, and you would just be a supporting character.

The less important one.

It's good that you realised this before you let yourself do with him something stupid, before you got to know how his lips tasted, how it was to lay with his arms around you... Although... you guess he got under your skin and into your everyday life too deeply for you to simply forget about him.

Especially when he wouldn't leave you alone.

"You can't avoid me." he says, walking out of the alley. You almost run into him with a broom and for a moment, you feel the urge to hit him with it. But then you remember that you didn't actually promise each other anything. You were nothing to him. Only a librarian. An ordinary person. At best, a friend.

"I'm not." you say it coldly and try to move past him.

"You are." he says, blocking your way. You lift your head to look at him defiantly. All he does is grab your hands and take the broom out of your hands. You suddenly feel vulnerable… as if the broom could somehow protect you from the shadow summoner and your feelings for him. "Please. I just want to talk."

"How can I help you, general?" you ask him in an emotionless tone.

He sighs, but you can see from the look in his eyes that he won't give up that easily. But you also don't want to get involved in something that is doomed to failure. Men like them didn't end up with women like you. Not with someone so… ordinary.

"That's not how it looked like."

"No? You seemed… quite enjoyed your closeness to her. Besides, it is not my business. You can do whatever you want. With whoever… If you don't need my help finding a book, then I should go now."

"No, wait. Please." he grabs your arm and takes a step towards you, refusing to let you just walk away from him.

"Do you call her milaya too?" you can't help but ask him this question in a tone full of resentment, anger, and bitterness.

His reaction surprises you. Instead of responding to your ridiculous jealousy with anger or a comment as cruel as yours, he… smiles. The bastard has the nerve to enjoy how bad you feel.

"Nevermind. Just…forget about it." you say, trying to break free from his grip, but he won't let you go—not even a step away.

After a moment, you feel him pressing you against the bookshelves. His nose brushes lightly against yours, and your lips are closer together than ever. He breathes heavily, his dark, almost black eyes staring into yours as he tries to stop himself from simply kissing every thought that isn't him out of you. You look at him, waiting; you don't know what. Every inner moral battle in him is settled by your quiet whisper:

"Aleksander?"

He's losing it. All the control he had gained over hundreds of years. He leans down and connects your lips in a long-awaited kiss. At first, he tries to be slow and gentle. He caresses your cheek affectionately and carefully places his hand on your waist.

Your moan changes all his plans.

He grips your waist tighter, bringing you as close to him as possible. He tangles his other hand in your hair, deepening the kiss and taking in all your whimpers. And Aleksander, for the first time in his long life, feels like he's in heaven.

By simply touching you. By simply kissing you.

He pushes away all his thoughts about breaking you and about defiling your sweet and pure person with his darkness. But he can't stop.

Not when you respond so eagerly to his kisses. Not when you pull him as close to you as possible by his hair and kefta. Not when he feels the same lust and desire for you that he has for you. Not when his wildest dreams are coming true.

He pulls away as he feels you slowly running out of air. He gives you just enough space to breathe but still stays as close to you as he can, resting his forehead against yours and pressing a kiss there. Both of his hands roam over your figure, and he curses at how delicate and otherworldly you feel under his fingertips. Like you always should have belonged right here, in his arms, in his hands.

The saints created you for him as his eternal trouble, as his baine of existence. To sweep him off his feet. To question any decisions he ever made. To prove to him that all his plans will be ruined and that his priorities don't matter when it comes to choosing between them and you.

"I… I want… I want it to be your business. I want you to care about me… just as I care about you too, moya milaya. My one and only." he whispers, pulling away from you enough that he can look into your eyes.

He strokes your cheek tenderly, deciding he doesn't want to spend another second missing you, your touch, and your presence. Holding himself back from kissing and chereshing you as you should be.

"And how can you possibly care about me? I'm… just me. Otkazat'sya. I can't summon the sun, shadows, or anything. I can't heal or manipulate hearts. I can't composite materials such as metal, glass, textiles, and chemicals. I'm not Grisha. I'm nothing special."

"Do you think I don't know it? Do you think that meant anything to my stupid heart the day I first saw you? That after our first conversation, I gave a damn about anything, but how is your laugh so hypnotic? How can I simply spend the day just looking at you or listening to your sweet voice, talking excitedly about every single book you've read? I know it makes no sense, but... isn't that what it looks like? How is it supposed to be? To fall for someone even knowing that you shouldn't? Even knowing that it's something doomed to fall from the beginning?"

"I suppose that's not how a love confession should look like, Aleksander." you laugh a little and hearing his name on your lips again gives him hope that he needs to fully open up.

"Maybe not. But we are not in the story. I speak from my heart, with my own words, because… nothing I ever knew can be compared to what I feel for you since the time we know each other. You attracted me at first, but… with time, I understand it isn't just some attraction. It is something deeper. More personal. You understand me like no one else has before, so don't stand there and pretend there is no special link between us, because this… this is everything that keeps me sane. With so many wars I have to fight, so many plans I have to put into action, and so many sacrifices I have to make… I shouldn't think about you… and yet it is everything I can do each time I leave your presence. You became a part of me… best part of me that I have ever had. And I know I will probably lose you in time, but… I can't imagine being without you. To go my day without speaking to you, seeing you, or laughing with you. And if you let me… I would like to keep you close for as long as I can. As long as you will have me."

He says all of this while looking at you with so much earnestness and passion that you have a hard time saying no to him or entering into his speech.

He sees your doubts. And he's so afraid of them that he decides to kiss you again, to try to bribe you, to make up your mind in his favour with the feeling of his lips on yours.

This time, you pull him in, placing your hands around his neck. He shivers as you play with the strands of his hair, and he knows that if he doesn't get you, the only ray of light in his grey existence, he has nothing to lose. Nothing will stop him from becoming a monster.

"I'm not so... open-hearted. Time taught me to keep my feelings to myself. But with... with you, I feel like the man I used to be. And I really like to be him again with you by my side."

"And... what about Alina?" you ask hesitantly, unable to get used to the idea that he might be… that he might choose you.

"You are the only one I can see." he whispers. He steals another kiss from you. This time, he presses you closer to him. You feel his muscular body under his kefta pressing against you, and you feel yourself slowly turning into putty in his hands. The bastard grins gladly as he feels you trembling.

"But for how long?" you try to hold on to one last rational thought before the warmth of the moment you share with him overwhelms you, and you become undeniably his. However, your internal struggle is just a matter of decency. You both know who won anyway.

"Eternity." he whispers against your lips before kissing you hungrily, losing control as he finally gives in to his desires, touching and caressing you as he wants with your more than willing consent. "Mine." he murmurs into your neck, pressing kisses there, his stubble teasing your sensitive skin as you moan at the feeling of his hot lips that you've imagined more than you care to admit.

"Mine." you respond, tangling your hands in his hair and pulling him in for another kiss.

Feeling his lips against you, his hands roaming over your body, caressing you, pulling you as close to him as possible, and his skin that you explore with your fingertips while unbuttoming his kefta as his shadows surround you, hiding the two of you from the sight of others who might be looking for you between the bookshelves, is making you realise that maybe, after all, you were the main character… at least in his story.

And that was all you could ever ask for.

Trato

Lo odio, odio tanto sentirme así

Sentirme tan sola, sin nadie p, sola y no poderle decir a nadie que me estoy muriendo por dentro, que ya no puedo más

Cada día siento que la pelea es aún más dura, solo levantarme y seguir peleando es demasiado, es demasiado mantenerme aquí, estoy dando lo mejor de mí y llegando a mi límite

Y aún así todo exigen más, me piden más, que de un poco más, que mejore, y solo levantarme me está tomando todo lo qué hay en mi

Lo odio, me odio tanto, siento que ya no puedo más

---

Ben Barnes Preferred Partner

I didn't know this was the guy who played Prince Caspian in Narnia. Whoever suggested this, you have taste.

I'm not taking reversals for preferred partner readings.

Let's start with physical attributes: Page of swords, the hierophant. He wants someone who is younger than him or that looks young. Page of Swords is someone who is approximately 22, so someone significantly younger than his 41 years or that could be mistaken as in their 20s. With the hierophant, it will be someone with a traditional appearance. They don't dress flashy and they don't look like someone that catches eyes everywhere they go. This person would need to be conservative in a sense, understated. So this would be like a Maude Apatow and not a Sydney Sweeney. Maude is the one everyone overlooks but she is still gorgeous.

Okay onto personality: Knight of cups, 7 of swords, Queen of cups, The Moon.

He wants someone that is passionate. He wants someone that might enjoy romantic movies. They might be romantic and like a bit of drama in their relationships. Someone that professes their love and shows him a lot of affection. Someone that treats him like he is the only man in the world. This person would need to overlook his negative traits and just see him as the greatest boyfriend ever.

He wants someone that is ambitious. This person needs to be someone who is cunning. They need to be able to win without anyone realizing they were even trying to. If you watch the show Succession, this is like a Gerri type of person rather than a Shiobhan. She is quiet about her goals and is making moves behind the scenes. He might also like to be with someone who has their own life. This person leaves the house and he doesn't necessarily know what they do throughout the day. It's a very sneaky energy. He might also like people who are in the acting industry.

Keeping with this trend, he wants someone mysterious. He wants to be constantly surprised by this person. That may be why he likes them sneaky in a way. This person needs to be private or he may want the relationship to stay private. This person would need to be full of secrets because he is really into that.

This person should not be aggressive or in any way confrontational. The Queen of Cups is the ultimate female archetype. This person needs to be gentle, like a Queen. She lets him lead. She comforts him and is compassionate to everyone. She might be soft spoken and feminine. She is sensitive and expresses her emotions freely. Might be motherly and nurturing. Needs to make him feel like she is home or supply a clean and safe space for him. This is the card for Cancer, so these attributes will apply.

Thank you for reading! I definitely would not be considered for this guy as I am drop dead gorgeous and very loud. If you have any questions or suggestions let me know.

@partylikeawordstar Here I made you an unicorn cookie

---

Hi! Can you do a what it would be like to date Billy Russo/Darkling/Logan Delos/any other of Ben's characters post?

Hi! Of course, thank you for asking 😊 this got a little more fic like than I intended 😳

I think it's pretty gender neutral overall (except with the Darkling and his Tsaritsa)

Dating the Darkling / Billy Russo / Logan Delos / Caspian / +Sirius Black (because why not? 😇😈😉)

note: I have not seen much of Westworld so I'm making a lot of assumptions about Logan

• Billy Russo masterlist • Main Masterlist • Moodboards masterlist •

Dating the Darkling

The biggest problem with him (from a matchmaking point of view) is his immortality.

I don't think he would even entertain the idea of being with someone who's not as powerful as he is or doesn't have the potential to be. He has seen enough people die to learn to not get attached to mortals.

When he realises he found his equal, he fights tooth and nail to get them. It's not necessarily love at that point, more like a desperate fixation, rooted in fear of being alone forever.

He charms you effortlessly.

Yes, he manipulates and lies or tells half-truths when it suits him but he means no harm with that (at least not to you).

Slowly he starts to truly fall in love and lets his guard down, so much so that fragments of the truth slip here and there and his Milaya starts to put the pieces together.

When his secret is out and he gets confronted he kinda guilts you into giving him another opportunity with things like "Would you have given me a chance if you knew?" and "I was so afraid to lose the only light in my life after so many years of darkness."

He makes promises to you that he's not sure he can keep

He is crafty and diabolical if he needs to be but seducing you (even more) takes all his efforts because you are on your guard now.

It takes a long time to get you to trust him again but he is patient and after all, you have all the time in the world.

He feels a weird excitement in corrupting you ever so slowly until you fall for his charms again.

He seals the deal as soon as he knows he has you.

Aleksander marries you a week within the proposal.

A few years go by and you get stronger than ever. Together.

You mature over this time and you see through your husband more and more but the war also hardens you and you start to see things his way, meanwhile, he gets a teeny tiny bit softer (in his old age - you joke) but that all fades away in a moment if anyone threatens you or puts you in harm's way.

The Tsar's last mistake is to try to assassinate you when he begins to fear your husband's power and influence.

Aleksander starts a war for you.

He planned this for a long time but wasn't prepared to care for you or for your life to be threatened like this.

So all his carefully planned strategies go out the window and he uses his power to claim the throne.

His darkness consumes him and he makes some bad decisions but for the second time since you met him, you drag him out of the shadows and this time you take your place beside him as his equal.

His Milaya becomes his Tsaritsa.

Aleksander never tries to control you again and you find your way back to the freedom you never realised you've lost.

Your relationship changes after that.

No more fear or darkness, no more pointless deaths for your kind. You lead your people to a better future and stay on the throne with Aleksander for many centuries.

People come and go in your life but he is constant, always there for you as you are for him.

It takes a toll on you though and you wonder how he managed to live so long without going completely insane.

That thought led you to bond with him even more, he learned to be completely honest with you (when it mattered, a little white lie never hurt anyone).

After you've created your prospering nation, you founded the basics of an equal society where the people would govern and chose their own fate.

You retired from people, tired of watching them wither away and lived your happily ever after with Aleksander, secluded from most of the world but happy that you never have to fear losing him.

Dating Billy Russo

Billy doesn't want to let anyone close to him, at the same time (deep down) he is yearning for love, appreciation and acceptance but he has issues™ so I don't think he could get involved in a real relationship with any of his flings.

You start out as acquaintances. Maybe you meet via your job or a common friend. The attraction is there and he flirts, oh he flirts but nothing comes of it for a while.

Let's be honest, you'd have to be at least a little fucked up to have a chance with him. Like calls to like but hopefully you are different enough to balance the crazy and get something good out of it.

He'd go for someone who is a challenge for him and you develop this bickering, flirting mess of a friendship.

But it would take a lot more for him to let his walls down. Oh who am I kidding, he never would, not consciously.

He was abandoned and hurt too much to let even a crack in on his fortress of walls around his heart but eventually, you manage to sneak a peek of the real him here and there.

It's during your first really nasty argument that he realises likes you likes you.

You call on his bullshit. Maybe he was lying to you or a jealous fit of rage came over you and you'd throw all your frustration at him, unintentionally revealing how much you know the real Billy behind all that facade and just how much you care for him.

The argument turns into angry sex. He kisses you like his life depends on it. It's wild and rough and everything you dreamed but you chicken out the morning after and leave before he wakes up.

He is pissed and determined. No way you have a chance against Billy Russo on a mission. He wants you and he's gonna get you.

You avoid him like plague, asking advice from Frank on how to handle Billy but you only get a laugh and a 'Good luck with that'

You decide to hide at Matt's place for a few days but it's the worst you could do because Billy was always jealous of your relationship with your lawyer friend.

So Billy finds you in no time. He just marches in beside Matt, who is holding the door wide open for him with a barely contained grin, and Billy cups your cheeks, smashes an aggressive kiss on your lips then simply bends down and throws you over his shoulder, taking you down to his car like it's an everyday thing to do while your protests are left ignored.

You try to talk to him, apologize, reason with him but he is just fuming in silence all the way to his home.

It's when you ask if you could just forget it happened and go on as you did before that gets him to react.

He's still angry with you, but you don't flinch when quickly grabs you by your neck. You know he would never hurt you. He doesn't say anything for a while, then his hand sneaks to your nape and he rests his forehead on yours, taking a deep breath and trying to calm down.

When he collected himself a bit, he looks into your eyes and says the one thing he never thought he would say to anyone. Ever.

Those three words take your breath away, you only notice you are crying when he wipes your tears away.

You make love all night long, not willing to let go of the other.

He wakes you up with caresses and kisses, has his way with you in the shower again and makes you promise you would meet him at his office after work.

Billy arranges a date at a fancy restaurant. You enjoy the night but you convince him there is no need for any of the fuss. You agree that this feels fake and you'd rather want something real, a relationship on your own terms.

For the next few days, you're only home to get a change of clothes and it's not even a week after that that Billy convinces you to move in with him.

It's fast and it's crazy but it works and both of you are happy.

The thing is, if Billy Russo truly loves someone it's bordering on unhealthy obsession, he is prepared to give them anything and everything and is desperate to keep his love by his side.

He spoils you, still, you have a hard time getting used to it but it always warms your heart to see how happy he is when he can do it so you make a deal to let you return the attention.

He is just as uncomfortable with it as you were but you slowly start to develop something that resembles a healthy relationship and it's more than either of you imagined you would ever have.

He still keeps some secrets but he trusts you with his heart.

Frank often jokes that you stole his best friend, and in a way it's true. Billy has a connection with him, a brotherly bond but most of the time he still has his walls up with Frank, not with you though.

You get to see Billy Russo for who he is and he only loves you more for accepting every single wicked part of him.

Dating Logan Delos

It's a slow, slow, slow, slow burn

A spoiled, rich little bastard with issues™ like Logan would also be hooked on someone who turns his advances down at first, who can't be charmed with money or his ridiculously handsome face and boyishly charming smile.

He takes you to Westworld with an 'I can't wait to see who you are when you let go'

Logan is really disappointed when you decide to dress like a cowboy instead of a hooker which he vocalises more than once

You say you get on a dress like that if he can last the rest of the time here without sex

He really contemplates going into that wager but he'd rather try to get into your pants here than in the outside world so he passes up the opportunity

And he really tries

This is work, not vacation time. You remind him every so often when he wants to tempt you to do something fun.

When he says something really offending after a couple of days, like how much of a stuck up bitch you are

Your response is something among the lines of 'Why? Should I just fuck and drink all day long like you? I can't see how's that different from what you do outside.

It's a challenge and he wants to prove you wrong

He lets William drag you on an adventure but you part ways with his soon to be brother in law when he finds the girl and wants to play hero

You really don't like any of this? Never wanted to shoot anyone? He asks out of a sudden when you are about to play bandits.

I can think of one. You answer with less animosity than usual and he takes it as a good sign even though you just threatened him

You start to play the game more like Logan. You play like there are no consequences and it's kinda nice to let out your frustration

When you meet William again it gets ugly because Logan is determined to pull his not friend out of his delusion

After Logan cuts the girl to demonstrate how unreal she is, you tell him to let it go because you can see William is still holding on to that belief and it kinda freaks you out

You don't see Logan for a while after you return from Westworld

You are invited to the party where William gets the company and all the credit for his insight into the deal about Westworld

It pisses you off and you look for Logan but he is not at the party

When you find him he is in a really low place, he's drunk and taking drugs and he is so out of it you are pretty sure he doesn't know where is he

You take him home and wait until he sobers up

Do you know what I hate about you the most?

Fuck, why don't you kick into the man when is on the ground?

I hate that you have everything you need to be what I know you dream to be and you still waste your life like this.

You reach out to take the glass of whiskey from him and he gives it to you with a teary-eyed look that breaks your heart

He sleeps in your bed that night and stays with you for a while

You help him stay sober

and help plan how to take back his father's company, you are both ruthless businessmen after all and it's kind of fun

When he gets what he wants it doesn't feel like a victory though

And it takes a while for him to realise he doesn't want any of it but he's not gonna throw away what you both worked hard for

That's the thought that breaks the news for him that he wants you, not for a night, or for a few occasions but for as long as you'd put up with him

For the first time in his life, he doesn't know how to approach someone he is interested in

He figures he will go the safe route and involve you in business

Late nights and business dinners, lunch and even breakfast meetings involved where you talk work about less and less

It's you who make the first move

After a long night you spend at his office you invite him for a drink when he takes you home

He sleeps in your bed like that first time you took him in

Logan wakes up before you and gently caresses your cheek to wake you up

Thank you. When he sees your confused expression he elaborates. For not giving up on me.

You don't answer, you just kiss him.

He is frozen and you panic but it only takes a few more moments for him to register what happened and he pulls you back to another kiss.

It's surprisingly gentle, just like the rest of the morning when he explores you and slowly makes love to you.

Neither of you acknowledges in words what happened or that you are in a relationship. It's an unspoken rule to leave it all unspoken.

Behind your confident facade, you are both insecure and this all feels too fragile. You are both afraid to ruin it.

The fear fades away but after that, you don't need to put your feelings into words or give your relationship a label.

You become so intuned to the other that it feels unnecessary.

It's not after a long time when you say out loud that you love him and it's not a romantic confession either.

He tries to make amends with his father but he gets home really broken and refuses to speak about it. You let him finish his drink, then you take the glass from him and settle in his lap.

Enveloping his face in your palms you wordlessly ask for his attention.

Whatever he said he is wrong. Logan argues that you don't know how the conversation went but you say you have a pretty good idea.

Fuck him. You don't need him. If he can't see how much you are worth and how you've grown then he is not worth a single second of your time. I know it's not the same as having a family but I love you and I'm here for you.

You don't even realise you've said it and his gaze darts to yours with an unreadable expression so you panic again like the first time you kissed him but he silences your doubts with the most passionate and desperate kiss you ever shared.

I love you. Logan says when he pulls away. You are my family now.

Dating Caspian

Whether it's love at first sight or an engagement alliance he would treat you the same, with kindness and respect.

Caspian would try to get to know you first so don't expect more than a kiss on your hand for a while.

He would compliment you but couldn't take one without blushing which you find amusing.

After losing your (nonexistent) patience you would be the one to kiss him first to see his reaction.

First, just on his cheek as a goodbye and you glance back at him to see the blush, the stunned look and the cute smile as he touches the spot your lips met his skin.

Then you get bold and steal a kiss, it's really just a peck on his lips but it changes things. He leans in and captures you in a less appropriate kiss that leaves you breathless and blushing.

You are there for him when he has a difficult day and spend most of your free time with him.

You ask him to teach you how to fight and take you with him on his adventures. He is hesitant but you prove to be a quick study and quick on your feet in dangerous situations.

Caspian finds you in the library or the gardens each day and lays his head in your lap to enjoy your calming presence as you let him rest and brush his hair until he falls asleep.

You often stay like that for hours, not minding anything as long as you can be with him.

After one of these sessions extends into late at night he insists on escorting you to your room. As you kiss goodbye it gets more heated and you both get carried away.

That is the first time you get more intimate than an unmarried couple should.

He sneaks out of your room each night and you both yearn for the secrecy to be unnecessary but you try not to get your mood down.

If you are not of his world then he dreads the moment you have to say goodbye but you are determined to enjoy every moment you can while you are still there.

If he is about to lose you he is ready to fight even Aslan to be able to be with you. Given the choice, you abandon everything you know and stay with him in Narnia.

He marries you after a few months of knowing you.

You do your best to learn everything a queen should know and you are always by his side if he needs you.

Not once in your many years of marriage do you regret choosing to be with him. There are hard times but you are always there for the other so nothing ever seems hopeless.

Narnia lived its Golden Age under your rule and your love became a legend, the kind that every girl dreams about where you find your soulmate and live happily after with the love of your life.

Dating Sirius Black

Pretty boy is a mischievous womanizer so to get his attention and turn it into something permanent requires the 'no factor' again

Maybe you are Slytherin and he just hates you in principal, maybe you are a forbidden fruit as one of his friend's sibling or you are just shy and can't deal with his flirty nature at all.

Whatever 'the problem' is, it just screams no to him which results in Sirius doing anything but backing down

Despite being really smart he is somewhat a dumbass when it comes to relationships

He does all the wrong things, says some stupid things that he wishes he could take back.

The enemies to lovers situation get really nasty before feelings are revealed

After a failed attempt to charm you, he goes to sulk in some secluded location and you happen to stumble upon him. After an awkward moment of silence, you ask why he keeps pestering you and it just slips out without thinking: Because I'm in love with you

You are shocked, to say the least. He takes advantage of your frozen state and struts all the way to you, cups your cheeks and practically begs you to say something

Not able to find the words, you just pull him down by his collar and smash a kiss on those perfect lips of his.

You make out for long minutes then he pulls away and rests his forehead on yours. Be mine? - he asks.

I'm already yours. You answer easily before you go on to continue where you left off and you can feel him grin into the kiss.

Dating Sirius is a roller coaster.

His friends find it hilarious that you can make Siri blush, they soon get you involved in their jokes and you are almost one of the boys

He gets you involved in some of his tricks. You argue over his bullying Snape and you are terrified for him when you find out what he does on the nights of the full moon.

If you want to become an animagus he'll try to help you but he also keeps teasing you whenever he can throughout the process

Doesn't matter what you turn into, there will be jokes about it.

You study together but he doesn't really need it and after a few times when he gets annoying because he is bored you make your own little corner of a world with Undetectable Extension Charm

He's the one to suggest making the Marauder's Map because he is annoyed that he cannot find your hiding place.

It takes a while to figure it out even with the map

It's not often that you let him in there but you share the Room of Requirement more often after that

You break up every so often but it usually doesn't last long before you are back together like nothing happened.

The only time your relationship is in real trouble is when you insist that he should talk to someone about how his parents treat him. He knows you want the best for him but it is a sensitive subject so this time the argument and the breakup lasts longer.

He really hurts you when you see him with someone else and he knows it but for some reason he wants to hurt you because he is hurt, his friends can't take that either and pull an intervention where (after a lot of yelling and a short fistfight) Sirius tells them what's going on.

That's just before the summer he moves in with the Potters.

He writes to you every day. The distance and the honest conversation helps but you are still wary, it's not until you meet again that it gets resolved.

When you go back to school and come face-to-face with him, it's like nothing matters anymore. You jump into his arms and shush him when he apologizes again and again.

Your relationship is not perfect, you still argue but it's nothing serious. You love each other and made a pact to never part in anger so even when things get heated and you don't have time to discuss it, the last words you say to the other before you go on your separate ways are that I love you.

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