Submission For Jar Of Zines' Second Issue

doing some painting

 @hogue-e-roll: Are you going to comicon next month?

Sadly, no. I’ll be drowning under my quarter finals at that time. But... uh... keep an eye out for the March 1st issue of the Seattle Weekly.

I'm waiting for someone to come into your inbox and say, "It's just a cartoon! Stop taking it so seriously!" But Family Guy teaches some really dangerous lessons so shouldn't we take it seriously?

Yeah, I’m kinda waiting for that too...

I’ve gotten a couple of comments on reblogs along those lines, but I’m practicing Not Getting Into Every Argument Ever.Honestly, I’m more bothered seeing my stuff reblogged by racist/misogynist/transphobic/TERF/neonazi blogs. I mean, my blog isn’t locked so anyone can reblog, whatever, that’s fine. But... I’m queer, transgender, and one side of my family is Jewish. So... ew.

I would have less of a problem with the violence in Family Guy and The Simpsons if it were absolutely cartoonish -- like “Itchy & Scratchy” or Coyote and Roadrunner -- but the shows are couched as a semi-realistic comedic depiction of family life. The shows exist in a world where this sort of violence really does happen and more and more studies are showing that there is no qualitative difference in the effects of physical punishments. Like, spanking is not magically less harmful -- physically OR psychologically -- than other forms of physical punishment.

uh tl;dr I agree

roycevomit said: this looks finished to me, it’s really beautiful regardless.

Awh! Thank you.

That's one of the things that I really like about your art -- you seem to know exactly when to stop. Your pieces aren't overworked or fussy, they feel straightforward.

I have a hard time stopping on my pieces. I keep working them until I look at them and go "Shit, I should have stopped, like, 8 changes ago." I've been trying to work on that, giving myself "assignments" or guidelines designed to limit my obsessiveness.

For instance, in the painting that I'm working on right now, I'm not allowing myself to use brown or black. That means I can only get a certain level of shadows and depth in the image, so that's one thing that I'm not stressing about.

I dreamed that, even though I'm not on testosterone, I grew facial hair along my cheeks and jaw. I was going to visit family and I'm not out to them, so my mother insisted that I shave. Even after I shaved, there was dense, white blonde hair along my sideburns, like the feathers of a baby chick.

Completed my first “useful” weaving — a rag rug made of four panels woven together.

Dreamed that my backyard looked into a forest. In the yard, I saw what looked like a large stag.

When I looked closer, I saw that the stag had a human face. It only had one antler, which was held in place by a ribbon. Instead of hooves, at the end of it’s legs were spindly fingers. It didn’t walk with the ‘palm’ flat to the ground like an ape, it balanced on the very tips of it’s fingers, and it’s legs didn’t move, just the spindly fingers.

Had this dream after I had spent the day wondering what I would look like if I were a demon.

Dreamed that I was putting on make up. I used gold liquid eyeliner to write “Jesus loves me, this I know. Yes, Jesus loves me.” across my cheek bones. I put sparkly orange eyeshadow on my eyelids and the end of my nose.

Dreamed about A. R., a boy that emotionally abused me from 5th - 8th grade. He seemed threatening, but also like he was coming on to me. He stood behind me and slipped his hands up into my shirt. I reached back, grabbed him by the ears, flipped him over my shoulder, and while he was on the ground, I stomped on him. Very satisfying dream.

When he bullied (abused) me, teachers and other adults frequently told me that it must be because he had a crush on me. I was very, very aware that was not the case. He never made “positive” sexual remarks towards me, never showed a lick of attraction, he loathed me. And, it seemed, women/girls in general. My therapist had a theory that A. R. was deeply repressed and self-loathing concerning possible same gender attraction on his part. He never spoke of finding women attractive, was blatantly misogynistic and lesbophobic, and actively drove me away from mutual male friends.

Maybe I dreamed of him being sexually aggressive because I’m thinking of myself as a trans boy, recognizing that a male identity means I could possibly be an object of desire for A. R., as I never was in the past. And I still rejected him. And I did what I said, for years, I could have done with half a chance — kicked his ass.

Reaching that point in working on a piece where I lose any sense of reality and my brain just chants "I AM A GENIUS I AM A GOD" over and over. Well, working in customer service until 11:30 pm will certainly beat down that overblown sense of confidence. Off to work!

My Etsy: LINK / My Ko-Fi: LINK

A hallway rug, made with yarn from old t-shirts. It’s roughly 8ft long and took about a day to make. I’ve decided it’s too narrow, so I’m gonna make a second and then sew them together down the middle.

My part of a Secret Satan gift exchange. Finished suuuuper late because SOMEONE decided to sit their fat, furry cat butthole on my painting while the paint was wet.

My Etsy: LINK / My Ko-Fi: LINK