It Gets So Dark At 8pm And I Just Keep Staring Out The Window Waiting To See Light Again 

frail newborn Thing

The fact that Julius Caesar burst into tears after reading about Alexander the Great because they were the same age but he could never live up to Alexander is one of the greatest things I’ve learnt as a classics student

i know there’s the joke that as kids we thought that the bermuda triangle and quicksand were way more serious than they actually are but you know what else i thought was a notable danger? whirlpools. i thought they just kind of popped up in the ocean randomly and sucked down giant ships to the bottom of the ocean and it was a big problem.

do you know how many recorded cases there have been of whirlpools sucking down large ships? zero. it’s never fucking happened in real life.

wearing a necklace is like: *moves clasp to the back* *moves clasp to the back* *moves clasp to the back* *moves clasp to the back* *m

You Aren’t Boring I Just Suck At Conversations I’m Sorry: a novel by me

if anyone would like to learn a couple tricks for carving pumpkins:

- dont cut out the top to scoop out the seeds, cut out the bottom instead. this way the pumpkin doesnt cave in on itself and lasts longer - sprinkle some cinnamon inside at the top after carving. this way when you put the candle in it smells like pumpkin pie

jane prentiss and her worms outside of martin's house looking through his window and watching him sob into a can of peaches as he has a panic attack on the floor: