Paper-nightlight - 💫

au where everything is the same but the magnus archives episodes are titled like famous youtuber vlogs so at the beginning of every episode jonny has to dramatically & ominously say shit like WOMAN MADE OF WORMS TRAPPED ME IN MY FLAT FOR TWO WEEKS! Story time! and I DONT REALLY EXIST *NOT CLICKBAIT* and Q&A: FILMING A GHOST SHOW AND WATCHING YOUR SOUND TECH GET BEAT UP BY AN ACTUAL GHOST

when i was in middle school nickelodeon on directv broke and it froze on the same frame for five hours. which would not have been so bad, except it was during the episode of spongebob where he goes to live with the jellyfish. specifically the scene where he’s naked and covered in sea urchins and flopping all over the place trying to get them off. and it froze on the frame where spongebob was facedown on the ground, naked. so he was laying there like that in complete silence for five hours. we would change the channel back every so often to see if he’d gotten up, but he was still like that when we went to bed. none of my friends had directv so when i asked them the next day they hadn’t seen it, but my brother and i were pretty convinced that spongebob was dead.

Neil Hilborn, “For Henry, Who Has Just Died”, The Future

Why are we still here. Just to suffer? Every week I must do laundry

What is a DM? A miserable little pile of bad accents

Anti-Mom: You shouldn’t not-complain because there’re always people who have it better.

characters who are loyal

characters who are loyal to the point of being incredibly self destructive

Concept: Gender reveal parties for non binary/agender/fluid/secretive people where instead of the honoree revealing their gender, the guests all bring a gender suggestion. Like “cowboy”, “abandoned Blockbuster” or “Victorian child ghost” and then the person picks a winner.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!! AHH AHHHHHH !!!!!!! AAAAAAAHHHH !!!!!! AHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !! AAAAAHHHH AAAAAAAAAHHHHH !! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!! AHHH !! AHHHHHH !!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH !!!!! AAAAAAH !!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!! !! AHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!! AAAAAHHHH AAAAAAAAHHHHH AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH !!!