I Wish There Was A Job That All I Had To Do Was Watch Movies, Then Incorporate Well-timed, Fitting References

I beat up myself so I don't beat up others.

At this point, I'm willing to go for an experimental procedure to fix my back. Like Wade Wilson, I've hit "fuck it." As long as the suit's not green.

Person: I hate you!

*Me thinking* : Okay, but never as much as I hate myself.

Today, I thought I was going to have a moment with a couple girls taking a walk all thanks to Pokemon Go. Unfortunately, they were just walking. Guess meeting people that way is only for fairy tales.

My subordinates think they're all professional as fuck, but when I need things done, they all bitch and make up excuses to not work.

Always manage to forget this word describing me despite it being incredibly accurate.

Depression is a war. 

Uhg... Why am I awake?

I wish I could get amnesia, disappear, and end up somewhere no one knows me.