No one would even notice I was gone.
This sounds like a good song for a funeral.
As the world had made an enemy of him, he knew he must become an enemy of the world.
I just learned there are truly people out there who don't believe the Sandy Hook shooting happened. I thought that was an Onion article gone awry. Huh. The funny thing is, the conspiracy theorists saying it was a government hoax to eliminate guns really don't get there is a much easier way to regulate guns. Why waste the money making something up when we could just repeal Selective Service? That ends the federal government "Militia" aside from screened and approved reservists and guard. That would put gun regulation squarely into the hands of each state. Unfortunately, the way the English language has been, the second amendment's "State" is not too clear. The way we think of it now is "State" equals country, "state" equals one of the fifty; however, as English mugged other languages in dark alleys and didn't have exceedingly cohesive conventions until the last hundred-thirty-ish years, we see a lot of nouns capitalized without any clear delineation as far as the Constitution is concerned. This brings us back to "State" as it is in the second amendment. If we say "State" defines the state's within the Union, then determining who belongs to the "Militia" is up to the states, ergo, states may dertermine who owns guns and what kinds. If we say "State" defines federal government, then the federal government need merely rescind Selective Service to completely remove the ability for any citizenry to justify the right to owning a firearm. The problem here is women are not held under Selective Service, so, unless a part of a guard or reserve, they, technically - I say that because it'd be impossible to actually execute this next part - could have all rights of gun ownership removed. This is why the morons who insist old, written documents be taken literally confuse me. I mean, I like my guns. I'd be really sad if someone had a legal basis to take my guns. That being said, a tragedy as relatively small in scope as Sandy Hook could never garner the backing of federally-mandated gun control across the country. Nothing short of a state-sized insurrection requiring the military to act against our own citizens could possibly do such a thing. Until then, there are much easier and quieter ways to repeal gun ownership. Now, litigation could go on forever as to whom the Founders' referred to when they said "State", but in the interest of the federal government's survival, it would likely choose itself (through the Supreme Court) as the object of the clause, thus removing any persons' ability to refute the legality of repossessing guns should the federal government choose to do so. Conspiracy theorists have an extreme narcissism problem, so they like to think they're smarter than the federal government, an amorphous entity with an unlimited amount of resources (it's still a cheap jerk 99% of the time) so compartmentalized, the President, itself (as a position, not person), actually does not have access to everything. These people think they've stuck it to the government and that one day, men in suits will show up to their door to say, "You found us out." Sorry to burst the bubble, but even state-sponsored hackers, who have discovered things worthwhile and we've physically found (well, CIA found) don't get that luxury. Sandy Hook happened. The Holocaust happened. The Russian Czars and Stalin massacring Russians happened. The Japanese destroying most of southern China happened. The Chinese dissenter massacres happened. The apartheid and genocides in Africa happened. The only thing that hasn't happened is conspiracy theorists stopped being basket-case assholes and started becoming actual investigators. Find us the Malaysian plane that disappeared. Find us that jewel from Titanic. Hell, if Sandy Hook didn't happen, physically find the kids who were involved. Find SOMETHING worth finding relating to any possibly-disputable subject. This arm-chair, tourist, know-it-all bullshit is exhausting. It's not helping anything or anyone; for the people affected by Sandy Hook, it's made it far, far worse in fact.
https://www.vessel.com/videos/XYHRBnGWG This is how I imagine people in LA get jobs.
I saw the term "fuckboy" for the first time today. Not directed at me (I have a strange aversion to women. Only reason I even met my last ex was through a coworker). Anyway, it seems I really missed the harbour for the ship from the land of retarded dirtbags. Part of me wonders if this was a latent characteristic in too large a percentage of men who just didn't have the proper outlet for their useless douchebaggery, or if social media/pop culture/etc. have, in part, spawned a new race of... Ick? Is that a good way to describe it? I'd say slimers, but that'd be kind of insulting to the Ghostbusters character. I've already admitted I made a lot of stupid mistakes in the couple relationships I had, but... damn... I hate one ex with what I'd hope is enough ferver to cause nuclear fusion, but I don't see how that should make me entitled to anything. Is this what it's come to, though? Some sense of entitlement solely because you're a male? Some girl didn't treat you right (or like you wanted)? CALL THE FUCKING WAAAAAHMBULANCE. Treat a woman how she wants to be treated. Is that such an arduous task? Yeah, Tinder and dating sites have a pretty good volume of people wanting sex. Does that mean EVERYONE on there is immediately, desperately, helplessly in such dire need for sexual contact they should all be subjected to... Ick? (I like the suspense from ellipses. It's like "Legen- -dary" It's a good buildup) I can feel my brain almost overheating trying to figure out just... Why? It's almost as difficult for me to fathom why there are so many money-obsessed fuckers in the world when a 30¢ bullet can make that money not mean shit anymore. Or as maddening as the totality of the universe, our complete lack of knowledge or thirst for exploration, and how utterly insignificant and useless we are (especially compared to a 30¢ bullet that can at least change something in the immediate area). I feel the gears siezing at the notion some guys think they're so integral to the operation of the planet, their dicks/looks/money/whatever are cause for any and every woman they want to strip down and fuck wherever they happen to be. I'm not religious. I hate religion for what it is and tends to do to many people. But, one thing that nearly every religion in existence has ever had in common is what most people call "the golden rule." I don't know why such a purely basic concept requires a gilded name (probably some bullshit about gold being worth something as currency), but is it that fucking hard to not be a fuck-shit stack? When did that concept devolve into "I show u mah dik u suld send nuds"? (My brain nearly hemorrhaged typing that) I'm trying to figure out what would happen if law enforcement and the justice system got their heads out of their asses and actually allocated time and funds to taking online sexual harassment and assault seriously. I think some fuckers would find themselves out their precious smartphone they use to prey on other women. See how fucking awesome they are with a flip phone and a name that is legally forbidden from online dating. (A fake name wouldn't work out in the long run) You know, maybe there should be a push for that. Banishment from social media as a legal function, not some shit to be ignored by moderators and businesses. There's got to be money enough in there somewhere for someone to run with it. I, for one, do not have that kind of money. Or, really, not much money in general. Food is too tasty for money. Money sounds most unpleasant as a meal or snack. Or drink. Goldschlager may be an exception; though, I cannot recall ever having it before. Where was I? Oh, yeah! JUST FUCKING CUT THE SHIT, YOU FUCK-SHIT STACKS. You have as much right to assault women's vision and emotions, as I have to assault your eyes with metal filings. No, those two are far more similar than you think. I'm not some dumbass white knight, some hero wannabe, some super-nice and sensitive guy women would be lucky to have. I'm neither conceited nor delusional. Learned from my mistakes. I might never be in a relationship again, never have sex again, whatever. At least I can say I'll have gone without being an utter fuckwit to any random woman who is connected via physical proximity or cyberspace.
People on my facebook keep posting things about goats. Not sure what started that whole thing, but it did remind me just how awesome and badass goats are. They do whatever the fuck they feel like doing. Mostly, that's just finding the tallest object around and fucking standing on it. Do they need a reason? No. They give no fucks. They're goats. They watch you from their high places and use their voodoo laser eyes to peer into your soul so they can decide whether or not they want to eat it because they'll eat anything. Why? No one knows. They're goats. They don't give a fuck about property because they believe in their ability to chew on anything, and tasty souls are their number one. Who knows how Satan became associated with a goat, but I bet it had something to do with a farmer pissed off at how his goat would stand on top of his shit all day, then eat it after getting bored. Satan's probably afraid of goats because they'd just stand on his head, then chew on it because they're no-fucks-giving goats. Satan associated goats with himself, then spread the idea around the mortal population to prove the point goats are not to be fucked with. If fucking Galactus showed up to Earth, we wouldn't need Avengers or Guardians of the Galaxy, we'd need goddamn goats. He can't eat a planet if the goats eat him, first, and you bet your ass they would. They won't just stand on anything or eat anything, either. They've also developed an ability to head butt shit with enough force to cause small amounts of nuclear fusion. If they can't stand on something because it keeps moving, they'll deliver a head butt to the brief annoyance that reaches its resonant frequency and shatters it into oblivion. Then, the goat will either stand on the remains or devour them. Or both. A goat doesn't care. So, next time you happen across a farm or mountainside and feel you're being watched, remember that somewhere is a goat, not even a hungry goat, that's determining if your soul is tasty enough to be worth coming down from wherever it's standing. A goat won't care. It's a goat. If you don't have a soul, it's a perfect pet.
Put googly eyes on anything. This has been a Public Service Announcement by The Center for Happiness, Entertainment, Eccentricity, Restlessness, Fantasy and Unilateral Lugubriousness Neutralization Education and Sadness Supersession
The only thing you should be worried about is this question I'm about to ask you: Who wants a taco?
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