Lucas keeps holding her, knowing that once she's ready, she'll break the embrace.
He tries to think what to say that can help her. No flowery bullshit. Ana isn't like that.
"When my dad first got diagnosed, I refused to go to the hospital to visit him. I just couldn't handle it. There wasn't anything I could do to help. And it got worse when he got it again. The chemo just took this man I looked up to and whittled him down to a stranger."
He looks at the wall, running a hand up and down her back in a soothing gesture.
"There was a few months where I barely visited him at home even. Just felt pointless. I was scared that seeing him like that would ruin all the good memories I had of him."
More tears drop.
"But finally I went, and I realized that not going hurt me more than going ever would've."
He kisses the top of her head.
"I keep going because otherwise it is all pointless. Even if we never find a way out, we're still alive, and giving up means everything is pointless."
Anastasia tenses briefly in Lucas’s embrace—old reflexes, a habit of keeping people at arm's length. But then, something inside her lets go. Her shoulders sag as if she’s been carrying too much for far too long, and she leans into the hug, not for comfort exactly, but because standing upright suddenly feels too exhausting.
"I tried to hold the line, Luke," she murmurs, her voice brittle. "But it’s slipping through my hands. Every day, I wake up hoping today will feel different. That I’ll care, or find a reason to try... but mostly, I just feel numb. Like I’m already a ghost."
She stays still, not moving to pull away from him, but not clinging, either. Just resting, as if being in the same space with someone who understands makes things a little lighter, if only for a moment.
"How do you do it?" she asks, her voice quiet, almost desperate. "How do you keep going when it all feels... pointless?"
Mary Oliver, from a poem titled "Six Recognitions of the Lord," featured in Devotions: Poems
Adrien nods in agreement, having not planned his costume until El mentioned people could. Then he blinks in surprise.
"It's your birthday? Happy birthday! Damn that's crazy."
He taps their glasses together in a toast.
"Sorry, since we're all focused on the Halloween stuff today. They should've made a cake for you or something."
" THANKS, ADRIEN ." cherry replies with an amused nod, her lips curling up into a grin . despite herself cherry can admit to being almost mildly endeared . it's hard to put her finger on why, but hey, she'll take it . " i mean, honestly i wasn't gonna bother until i found out other people were doing it ." cherry shrugs . " i love a party as much as the next girl but being the only one dressed up would be kinda sad no matter how hot i looked ." cherry sighs then before shrugging and playfully adding, " but it is my birthday so i had to do somethin', you know ."
Lucas looks to see Marama studying him curiously.
He chuckles. "A little yeah. This was the biggest sized shirt I could find to fit the costume. I think Ana's happy I'm showing off more than she is. Or she's jealous. I couldn't really tell."
He shrugs and sips his drink.
"You having fun tonight?"
closed event starter @patroclusblossom
marama didn't understand the concept of dressing up for halloween, maybe because she was only seven when she came here and has never been able to watch tv or movies like everyone else so she never understood the references, but it also just seemed odd to her. some people dressed up for these things, with outfits they make themselves. she never did. "why is your stomach showing?" she asks lucas with a confused look. "are you warm?"
Lucas considers this. He's been in a lot of the woods around town but hasn't come across a tree like that. Of course, that's not at all surprising. Still, it has him thinking.
"Okay," he says, focusing back on Elm. "That's good. Was there anything else?"
He gives her a small smile.
ELM CONSIDERS THE QUESTION FOR A MOMENT BEFORE SHRUGGING . " it's the only thing i remember ." elm wonders if that's enough to make it notable . there's another beat of thought where their head tilts before they're adding a, " there was a moon over it ." their brows furrow a bit . " it was full and ..." a thoughtful pause before elm is making a round gesture with their hands . " the tree was by itself . in a circle, like this ."
where: colony house when: Halloween night, early evening whom: open
Adrien dances in the middle of the designated dance floor, probably having the best night of his life. The music plays from records or CD that are constantly rotating. Not a lot of recent music, but it still is fun to dance to.
His "wings" force a small circle around him, which does bum him out a bit, but he takes it in stride, keeping his dancing small but still fun.
That doesn't stop him from accidentally bumping into someone, though. He whirls around to face them.
"Oh shit! I'm so sorry."
"So fucked," Lucas agrees, some heat behind his words. "And all we can do is react. We don't have any way of actually taking action. We're so fucked here."
He grabs the bottle from Adam and pours himself another glass that he downs in two gulps.
"And even leadership can't do anything because they know fuck all like the rest of us."
"I don't think it's about revenge. They probably feed on fear or torture or some shit, it's like water to them I...I don't know. I just wish we knew how they really functioned, wish we knew there were some genuine rules to this. What if tomorrow they start running? What if the talismans stop working? What if all of this is just them pretending...letting us feel 'safe' until our guard is low enough. for them to 'strike'? We need to be prepared....but we weren't even prepared for this....for today. It's fucked."
Ironic that I feel more free in this caged town than I was out in the world [RP Blog]
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