sometimes I scare myself with the anger that lies within me. It sits dormant, waiting for the time to rise and make itself known. and when it does, it consumes me and comes out in angry heaving sobs as I gasp to scream what I’ve kept hidden underneath the surface for so long. I can’t remember the last time I was angry and shouted without crying. without the ensuing meltdown that typically follows. maybe it is never truly anger I feel, not wholly anyways. It’s tainted by other emotions, other feelings.
maybe this makes me bitter, at least I think it does to some degree. It scares me how angry I can be sometimes, how much rage I have within me. angry at the people around me, at the world, at the circumstances I am presented with, as I cling to the mere notion it has to be some sort of higher power surely testing me. for what I’m not sure, maybe I’ll never know. maybe I don’t want to.
knowing that every big milestone of my life is tainted by grief for everyone around me, and guilt on my end about the fact that there should’ve been two of us going through it together. I feel guilty for surviving, even though it’s not my fault, and it was a matter of circumstances. It’s weird knowing I’m grieving a half of me, a person I never got to meet and grow up with.
Lionesses on top for real, miss my girlies
Watch we find out Buck is allergic to bees or some shit, I’ll fucking screech please leave him alone 😭
"kill them with kindness" WRONG 500 BEES 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝
If someone followed my line of sight like this to force-keep the eye contact I'd kiss them just to force-break it jus sayin
the crackship between shauna and a random side character with two lines that fans came up with a week ago as a joke actually becoming canon is the funniest thing to happen to any fandom ever
my family, especially my parents, love to scream at me, “I’m the third parent.”
maybe in a way I am. for the last five, almost six years, I was thrust into a role I never wanted. when I was supposed to be merely their sister, I had to become something of a parent to my siblings.
I changed nappies, I wiped away their tears, I gave them comforting hugs when something happened, I’m the one who cheers them on from the sidelines, I made sure they were awake and had eaten breakfast, I got them to school, I make sure they’ve eaten and get to bed, and have done their homework. It was me, who went to the parent-teacher conferences, me who went in when they had problems at school to sort them out and talk to teachers. It was me who sat with the oldest of my younger siblings, talking her through 6th form and her choices and results day, and now universities. It’s still me who does all of this.
so yeah, am I a third parent in the family? you could probably say that. but it was never something I chose, never something I wanted. It was just a role I had to fill, to keep some semblance of normal, and keep my crumbling home life together.
Spotify Wrapped choosing violence
it’s one of those days where nothing I say or do is right. I get screamed at that I don’t listen to what they’re saying. but when was the last time they stopped raising their voices every time I opened my mouth to talk? when was the last time they acknowledged what I was saying, actually listened to what I was saying.
sometimes I think they’re too busy trying to argue with me, and tear me apart at the seams, rather than actually hear what I have to say.
I have so much to say.
i am simply an Alive Bobby Nash Truther until the bitter end. they can have a live feed of the inside of that man’s coffin as his body decomposes in the corner of every single episode from here on out and i will continue to believe that he will rise from the grave and continue to live his best most chaotic life with his hot wife and his cringefail bisexual son assigned to him by the HR department at the LAFD and his beloved dear paramedic friends who come to him for life advice and his son in law/narrative parallel with extreme catholic guilt and a nobel prize for pioneering new batshit ways to repress emotions and discovering previously unknown stages of grief. it is what he deserves
911onabc: Welcome back, Cap. #911onABC